Wondering what you can expect this episode?

Our regulars join up with some blowhards.

A LOT of Massive Blowhards

A giant troll

And Lisa actually DOING something for once.

In addition, I start singing, Soak and Carlie stay as perverted as ever, and Red makes an impressive show for her first commentary.

So stop it with that fake smile and get ready for a slightly different brand of insanity than what you’d normally get from this show.

Download episode 15 here.

Download episode 16 thisaway.

Because fire is effective against plants and fungi, that’s how.

Yeah, like you didn’t already know that’s how it was going to end.

But what else can you expect from the next two episodes?

Unresolved sexual tension.

Being set up to fail and confusing biological warfare.

Massive Overkill.

And a Clip Show, to give the creators time to ramp up for the second half of the show.

On our end, we don’t let up with the perversion, though we do have an interesting time when two commentators are laid low by the episode itself. We proudly Soldier on though, because I couldn’t be assed to stop recording. Also it was funny.

So strap in, enjoy some pretty pyrotechnics, and get ready for a recap of stuff you should already know by now.

Download episode 13 here.

Download episode 14 thisaway.

Stop that Lou, you’ll scare people.

Hey folks, sorry for the delay, I’ve been busy, and we’ve had technical issues, but we’re ready with another set of two FFU episode commentaries. This time I’m joined by commentary regular Force and Tennyo, as well as a newcomer, Tennyo’s friend Lindsey.

So what can you expect in these episodes?

A bottle show.

A Giant Evil Hand.

Characters acting weirder than usual for this show.

A fabulous new villian.

And an absolutely fabulous new gun.

So get ready for some extra special crazy with two more episodes of Final Fantasy Unlimited.

Download the Episode 7 commentary here.

Get the Episode 8 commentary thisaway.

Right click and save as for both files.

In addition to screenshots and video footage of the games presented, galleries will include video interviews with 20 developers and artists, as well as five playable games selected to demonstrate the evolution of visual capabilities and interactivity. The five selected playable games will be “Pac-Man,” “Super Mario Bros.,” “The Secret of Monkey Island,” “Myst” and “Flower.”

Other than FFVII and FFTactics, other games near and dear to my heart to be featured in the exhibit include “Shadow of the Colossus” and “flOw.” The latter, by the way, is from the same developers as the aforementioned “Flower” and the newly released “Journey” — which, if you haven’t played yet, you need to be playing before you do anything else with your life, including eat, sleep or go to work. Seriously, if “Journey” had been released prior to the selection process for the titles to be featured in the exhibit, it would not only be one of the 80, it would have the spot “Flower” received in the hands-on portion.

Anyway, for a complete list of the selected games, visit this page; and for more details about the exhibit itself (including when and where you can catch it in other cities over the upcoming four years), go here.

Finally, you can check out the Smithsonian’s official trailer for the exhibition on YouTube:

Better than any art you’ll actually see in the show proper.

It’s time again for the Fan’s Eye View Commentaries for Final Fantasy Unlimited.

And the crazy continues to mount. You might not think it can after the events of the last few episodes. But it can.

Cid drives Lisa, Ai, and Yu around in a custom made submarine named Catherine.

That’s the number of times he’s made love to her.

Kaze takes a dip in the water.

Seriously, he needed it. You know how long he was sleeping in those vines from episode 1? YEARS.

And Lisa sets water on fire.

Don’t even have a joke here. That’s actually what happened.

So, sit back, get ready, and enjoy.

Get Episode 5 here

Get Episode 6 here

What, Square engaging in shameless pandering? Say it ain’t so.

Hi again folks, it’s been two weeks, so it’s time for another two episodes of Fan’s Eye View for Final Fantasy Unlimited.

So what are we in for this week?

Lisa’s ever changing breasts

The Worst Shiva Ever

Stoned Chocobo and Redundant Goggles

And yes, it does get even weirder from here on out.

So, whenever you’re ready, you can get the files below and enjoy our continuing trip through Wonderland

Download Episode 3 here

Download Episode 4 here

Final Fantasy Unlimited is an animated Final Fantasy, like Legend of the Crystals or Episode Denzel. Unlike those, it’s not related to any particular Final Fantasy. Rather, it’s blending common elements of all of them. It’s also schizophrenic and insane at times as a result. What starts as a story of two twelve year olds, Ai and Yu Hayakawa, trying to find their parents very quickly turns into an adventure as they board a train leaving for the world outside their reality, into a strange world that more than earns the moniker wonderland. On the way, they meet a Martial Artist named Lisa, a mysterious cloaked Vincent clone gunman named Kaze, and a Chocobo that enjoys the taste of human hair.

For these first two episodes, we’ve gone and gotten myself and two people who’ve never seen the show before, Tennyo and Gym Leader Devil, to do the first two of several commentaries for this show.

So sit back, relax, and get your copy of Unlimited Ready, because we’ve got commentaries for the first and second episodes. So right click, save the commentaries, get your copy of Final Fantasy Unlimited ready to go and join us on the train ride through the strange and unusual world of Wonderland.

So on July 13, 2011 you can begin trying to keep Aerith away from Sephiroth in LittleBigPlanet2. Thanks to forum member Zeuz for the heads-up.

Here it is, folks. The commentary we’ve known we had to do since we recorded the first one.
Yes, it’s The Spirits Within. Brace yourselves.

This movie is credited as single handedly ruining Square and leading to Square Enix. But is it as bad as the press it’s gotten? Honestly, No. It’s actually an enjoyable, very pretty film, and it would probably be seen as such if not for two simple things.

Final.

And Fantasy.

These two words are what takes a perfectly good Science Fiction action flick, and turn it into a film perhaps unjustly hated now, a month shy of one decade after its release.
Because apart from that, this movie's pretty good. Certainly it's a lot better than most of the schlock you get on the Scifi channel (Their name change is another ill advised branding decision, IMO), and it's still one of the best looking photorealistic CG films in the world at large. Plus, it has Steve Buscemi playing himself.

So Click this link or the picture at the top of the page to listen to or download the commentary, and enjoy. Make sure you listen again on July 13th, the 10th anniversary of the film.

Day 01 – Your favourite FF game!
Day 02 – Your least favourite Final Fantasy game.
Day 03 – Your favourite Final Fantasy theme/song.
Day 04 – Your favourite Final Fantasy party from your favourite game.
Day 05 – Your favourite Final Fantasy City/Town.
Day 06 – Favourite part of your favourite Final Fantasy game.
Day 07 – Least favourite part of your favourite Final Fantasy game.
Day 08 – Favourite Chocobo Version.
Day 09 – Favourite Moogle Version.
Day 10 – Best Final Fantasy scene ever.
Day 11 – Final Fantasy game that disappointed you.
Day 12 – Final Fantasy game you’ve played more than 5 times.
Day 13 – Your favourite version of Cid.
Day 14 – Favourite Final Fantasy male character.
Day 15 – Favourite Final Fantasy female character.
Day 16 – Your favourite Final Fantasy limit break.
Day 17 – Favourite Final Fantasy mini game.
Day 18 – Favourite Final Fantasy opening sequence.
Day 19 – Best Final Fantasy outfit.
Day 20 – Best Final Fantasy hair.
Day 21 – Favourite Final Fantasy pairing/ship.
Day 22 – Favourite Final Fantasy summon.
Day 23 – Least Favourite Final Fantasy mini game.
Day 24 – Best Final Fantasy quote.
Day 25 – Final Fantasy game you plan on playing (old or new).
Day 26 – OMG WTF? Final Fantasy moment.
Day 27 – Best Final Fantasy storyline.
Day 28 – First Final Fantasy game obsession.
Day 29 – Current Final Fantasy game obsession.
Day 30 – Saddest Final Fantasy character death.

I got the idea to post about it from LiveJournal user Xi-Feng, who got the idea from LJ user toffeethesnob, who got the idea from LJ user Korynth, who got the idea from LJ user wheatcakes.

(Sheesh! I hope that’s all the credits where credit is due.)

Anywho, it’s been a lot of fun, and I’m making this frontpage post to invite more of you to get in on it. It’s not too late to take part, as it’s only up to Day 06 on the forum right now (I myself am only up to Day 05, as I started a day later than everybody else).

So, come join us. =) Share your favorites, your least favorites, your disappointments, and the Final Fantasy moments that inspired you, made you cry, or that you’ll never forget for whatever other reasons.

You may be interested to know exactly what circumstances determine who you hear on a given day — and perhaps even a given time on a given day. Read on for more.

We now have the answer to this cute little mystery thanks to pg. 570 of the Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy Ultimania: RPG Side. A scan of the relevant part of the page — a title call chart — was made available to fans courtesy of toffeethesnob over on the ffchaoticcosmos blog.

Basically, it works like this: The first 10 days of each month, you’ll most likely hear one of the 10 heroes featured in the story from cycle 013. After that, the timing for most of the remaining characters roughly corresponds to double-digit days ending with the number of the game from which they originate. Things do get somewhat more complicated than that with some of the characters, though.

Below is toffeethesnob’s scan (click on it to enlarge it) of the chart from the Ultimania page in question, as well as my translation of the chart. Enjoy.

Days each character performs their title call
*Regardless of month
Lightning: 13th
Vaan: 12th
Laguna: 18th
Yuna: 20th
Kain: 14th
Tifa: 17th
Warrior of Light: 1st
Firion: 2nd
Onion Knight: 3rd
Cecil: 4th
Bartz: 5th
Terra: 6th
Cloud: 7th
Squall: 8th
Zidane: 9th
Tidus: 10th
Garland: 21st and 31st
Emperor: 22nd
Cloud of Darkness: 23rd
Golbez: 24th
Exdeath: 15th and 25th
Kefka: 16th and 26th
Sephiroth: 27th
Ultimecia: 28th
Kuja: 19th and 29th
Jecht: 30th
Shantotto: 11th
Gabranth: 12th (midnight hour; noon hour; 12th minute of every hour)
Prishe(*1): 11th (11th hour; 23rd hour; 11th minute of every hour)
Gilgamesh (*1): 15th
Chaos(*2): Every minute (5% probability)
Cosmos: After loading save data on your Special Day
Great Will(*3): 1st (1st hour; 13th hour; 1st minute of every hour)*4
Aerith(*5): 7th, 17th, 27th (7th hour; 19th hour; 7th minute of every hour)

*1: These characters will sound off once they’re available
*2: Will sound off once Feral Chaos is available
*3: After cycle 013 is cleared
*4: May also sound off at startup after cycle 013 is cleared the first time
*5: Must be selectable as an Assist Character

We hope that this article enhances your enjoyment and appreciation of Dissidia, and perhaps your understanding of it as well.


• What is the world that serves as the battleground for Dissidia?
What I often refer to as a Katamari ball of the various Final Fantasy worlds, the world in which the Dissidia conflict takes place is an amalgamation of the worlds of the first 13 main Final Fantasy titles, with the World B version of the first FF’s world serving as the base template into which everything else is placed.

Its status as such is confirmed twice during the Shade Impulse portion of the first Dissidia. First, in a conversation between the Emperor and Golbez from Shade Impulse cutscene 14 (Golbez: “This world is formed of shards brought from different realms by the two gods”); second, in a conversation between Sephiroth and Garland during SI Chapter 3-2 (Garland: “… This world is composed of elements collected from different realms”).

An apparent consequence of this shattering of worlds and realms is that all their inhabitants — with the exception of Chaos and Cosmos’s chosen warriors — are but disembodied consciousnesses in the realm of Dissidia; lost souls drifting around the world.

In Chaos Report 5 from the first Dissidia, Cid of the Lufaine mentions trying to give physical form to some of these spirits:

“Harmony and discord are both created beings.
While observing how they acquired pawns to
fight in their conflict, I found that a great
number of the consciousnesses had drifted to
this world from other dimensions.
I wondered if I might be able to give those
consciousnesses physical form. After countless
experiments, finally my testing reached success.
The failures were sealed in the Interdimensional
Rift.”

Reports 15 and 16 from Dissidia 012 elaborate on this matter, explaining that Cid of the Lufaine also attempted to use his own memories as the basis for a new life form. He was only successful in creating one such being, however, and from his own memories only:

(From Report 15)
“Attempts at embedding my own memories to
manikins fail.

Like the ‘failures’ of my old experiments,
they do not retain human likeness.

No complete memory transplant could be done.”

(From Report 16)
“Memory successfully embedded in experiment.
Confirmed non-crystallization of body.

Difficult to sense any will in its eyes,
perhaps caused by incomplete transplant.”

Read on for more about Cid’s work and its consequences.

• Were the shattered worlds ever restored?
The various worlds included in the battle world’s composition were restored to their proper places when the cycles of conflict were brought to an end, per Golbez’s remarks in Shade Impulse scene 14: “As long as Chaos reigns, the shards are fated to sink into endless darkness. But if Chaos perishes, the shards would be released, returning to where they once were.”

The Warriors of Light must have asked Laguna for directions to Cornelia here. Better late than never?

While the game never spells the point out directly, World A is the world of the first Final Fantasy, from which Cid of the Lufaine hails. World B is the world discovered on the other side of a gateway to the Interdimensional Rift by Lufenian scientists — a world in ruins, but one which bears the same world map as World A.

World B is the version of this planet that serves as the basis for the conflict of the gods seen in Dissidia.

Whether they are different time periods of the same world, or different dimensions’ incarnations of the same world, is unclear.

• What are the orbs of light on the world map?
In all likelihood, these orbs are the spirits/disembodied consciousnesses of the unfortunate denizens of all the realms that were sundered by the circumstances of the war. Notice that the first of every four orbs broken and absorbed carries the message “A frail power of the dead dwells.”

• What is that white tower on the world map?
That’s Order’s Sanctuary. It’s Cosmos’s place.

• What are the manikins?
Reports 8, 9 and 10 speak of a mysterious form of life with the appearance of a crystal ore. It changes form in reaction to the appearances of nearby life forms, but has no discernible will of its own.

The ore was discovered by Lufenian scientists who sent investigation teams to World B through a gateway to the Interdimensional Rift. They used this ore for many experiments in which they attempted to produce artificial life, and named these simulated life forms manikins.

They still demonstrated no will of their own, however, and so the scientists attempted to grant them consciousnesses via imbuing them with transplanted memories.

In almost all cases, these experiments failed to produce the intended results.

As detailed in Chaos Report 5 from the first Dissidia, as well as Reports 15 and 16 from Dissidia 012, Cid later attempted to create more perfect manikins, but only succeeded in creating one — and from his own memories. All his failed experiments were sealed in the Interdimensional Rift and would later be discovered by Exdeath, according to his in-game Museum profile, to become the army utilized by the warriors of Chaos in cycle 012:

“Possessing considerable insight regarding the Rift, he is the one who discovered its long forgotten door. Exdeath opens the portal and exhumes the manikins to torture the warriors of Cosmos.”

Fearful symmetry?

It may well be that the crystal ore discovered by the Lufenian scientists is either material from Crystal World, or at least something very much like it, such that it imitates the appearances of others the way the ore in Crystal World did after Kuja resurrected the 4 Chaoses there.

At the very least, we know there is some strong association between memories, crystals and life given their repeating, interrelated appearances in such Final Fantasy titles as FFVII, IX and X/X-2, as well as the “Source of Power” article on pg. 8 of the Final Fantasy 20th Anniversary Ultimania File 2: Scenario guide. If the graph under “Circle of Life” on that page is any indication, it seems that planets with Lifestreams — which grow from the accumulation of memory — have crystals at their cores.

Given that Cid and the other Lufenian scientists were successful in producing genuine life — Chaos, Cosmos and the Warrior of Light — from inserting memories into the crystal-like ore that so resembles that of the material composing Crystal World, it may not be a stretch to surmise that the first living creatures were produced in a similar way given that there was no other physical material present in Crystal World.

• Who is the Great Will?
In a metatextual capacity, the player is identified as the Great Will at the end of Inward Chaos from the first game.

As far as the story itself goes, however, Cid of the Lufaine is identified as the Great Will in the Chaos Reports, specifically Chaos Report 10. Earlier hints to his identity came from Garland telling Chaos that he had guided him “in accordance to the Great Will’s wish,” since Cid mentions in Chaos Report 4 that he’d gotten Garland to agree to “stand at the right hand of discord.”

As well, both Shinryu’s profile in the first Dissidia’s Museum and Shinryu’s brief dialogue with Chaos near the end of Shade Impulse makes it clear that he had been assigned a task by the Great Will. In Chaos Report 3, Cid mentions that he’d made a pact with “a certain dragon wandering through space and time”; this dragon, of course, was Shinryu.

For its part, Dissidia 012 outright refers to Cid of the Lufaine as the Great Will in his in-game profile under the Museum, and Cosmos addresses him as such in the cutscene from Report 20 (Japanese version only):
だから 大いなる意思
あなたも自分の道を歩んでください
さようなら シド.

(In the official English translation, Cosmos’s use of “Great Will” is replaced with “my divine creator.”)

• What are Chaos & Cosmos?
KOS-MOS is a powerful, armored gynoid, developed by the interstellar conglomerate Vector Industries, while chaos is the failsafe of the universe, the human incarnation of the power of Anima.

… Wait, wrong game.

[Note: The following information in this and the next question’s response either come straight from or are a synthesis of information in the Cosmos Reports, Chaos Reports, Shade Impulse, Inward Chaos storyline and Secret Ending of the first Dissidia, and the Museum Character Files, text-only portions of the Reports and Confessions of the Creator elements of Dissidia 012]

Chaos is both an anthropomorphic entity embodying the concept of discord, and a successful manikin created by Cid of the Lufaine and scientists of the Onrac nation from the memories of 10 or more unidentified individuals.

Who these people were or whether they were unusual in any way is unknown, though it is known that they were executed afterward for confidentiality purposes.

Cosmos, meanwhile, is both an anthropomorphic cosmic entity embodying harmony, and a successful manikin created by Onrac scientists from the memories of the manikin that would become Chaos.

Following his creation by the Onrac scientists, the military recognized Chaos’s magnificent magic potential and intended to use him as a weapon to defend itself from other nations, one of which commanded summon creatures as well as the robot Omega from Final Fantasy V. While preparing him for his introduction to the battlefield, Chaos — who had a beastly but nonetheless childlike form — was raised by Cid and his wife.

For reasons I will elaborate upon a couple of responses further down in this Q&A, Chaos had no interest in destroying anything unnecessarily, so once the military called upon him, they ordered Cid’s wife — whom the creature viewed as its mother — to command him to destroy the nation in command of the summons and Omega.

Despite its own immense power, Omega was banished to the Interdimensional Rift along with the summons, and the nation they served was reduced to what Report 2 calls “hell itself.”

Afterward, Cid’s wife was plagued by guilt and refused to be party to further violence. Consequently, she and Cid were locked up, branded traitors, and a new manikin was created — this one a similitude of Cid’s wife, formed with Chaos’s memories of her as the basis. They named this clone Cosmos.

• How did the war of Dissidia begin?
Not long after their imprisonment by the Onrac military (covered in the previous response of this Q&A), Cid and his wife learned of the similitude’s existence and the military’s intention to use her as a means of controlling Chaos. Unwilling to allow this, they escaped from their prison and infiltrated the lab where Chaos and Cosmos were being kept.

As they prepared to escape with Chaos, a guard shot Cid’s wife, injuring her. Seeing his mother so wounded, Chaos was filled with rage and lashed out with the power of discord, opening a gate to the Interdimensional Rift in the process. The facility was destroyed, and Cid, Chaos and Cosmos were all lost to the Rift.

Some time later, they encountered Garland, as well as the cosmic dragon Shinryu, a traveler of time and space via the Rift.

Seeking revenge against the Onrac military, Cid entered into a bargain with Shinryu: Cosmos and Chaos would be pitted against one another in war, utilizing pawns summoned from many worlds. As the pawns battled, they would accumulate experiences — memories — that would then be harvested by Shinryu once one side had lost. The condition of losing would be met when either all warriors on one side died or their respective deity was felled.

Shinryu would then reset the pieces on the board, reviving whichever god had died along with any dead warriors on either side.

After absorbing the memories of the combatants to gain more power, Shinryu would share some of the newly accumulated power with Chaos, and, thus, both would become more powerful with each cycle. In this way, Shinryu received payment for his involvement in Cid’s war.

In addition, Cid asked that Shinryu give him immortality by taking his body and allowing him to reside in the realm as a disembodied consciousness observing all developments of the war.

Though Chaos initially had no interest in fighting against Cosmos, as she was his mother’s clone, Cid was able to get Garland to convince him to fight. Garland was also the one to give Chaos his name, which he did at this time.