Retranslating/Rewriting Case of Nanaki

Oh, Gilligan, please begone. Just what are you?

Nanaki, also known as Red XIII, howled at the moon as he tried to rid himself of the darkness that had taken root in his heart. His howl echoed in the cold night on the plateau far in the distance. The red fur which covered his entire body was illuminated in the darkness by the blazing flame at the end of his agile tail.

Nanaki received no response. It had always been the same, but this time the silence of the world seemed to him like a sign. It seemed that he had to resolve this problem alone, because Gilligan was within him, and was his enemy alone. He hadn't become aware of its existence until a few days ago. He tried to remember how Gilligan was born, that is, when it had taken up residence within him.

* * *

At the end of their journey with Cloud and the others to defeat Sephiroth and save the planet, Nanaki returned to his homeland, Cosmo Canyon. The people of the valley welcomed him with open arms after the epic battle, and listened intently to the account of his adventures. Nanaki was proud of himself, and everything they had achieved.

After that, he went to see his father. Long ago, the brave warrior, Seto valiantly fought against the Gi Tribe, and now stood petrified, watching over the valley.

“Father, you and mother were great warriors who defended this valley. That is why I made it my mission to protect it, just as you did. And I think that I have succeeded. That is why I will be traveling again, father. But this time I would prefer not to battle. I will look at life around the world. Chocobos being born, trees withering, and hmmm— well, I will look at as much as I can, and learn to understand life around the world.

Grandfather always told me... He told me that it is my duty to see everything, to remember it all and pass on my knowledge to future generations. Oh and—”

Nanaki paused briefly and gazed over at his father, looking at his petrified eyes and ears before continuing,

“And I will tell you everything too, father. You can count on it.”

He then announced his decision to the inhabitants of the valley. He would obey the last words of his late grandfather, Bugenhagen, and make it his new mission to embark on a long journey to record the world. They all encouraged him, reassuring him that his accumulated knowledge would certainly be of significant importance for future generations. And that they would always be there for him.

Leaving the village through the rugged terrain of the canyon, Nanaki followed the arduous path down for a while, and finally looked back. The people were still standing there, waving him goodbye. In response, he sat on his hind legs, stretched out his back, head up, and let out a loud howl.

"I will be back, until then I bid you farewell!"

With that, he ran down the rest of the path in a single breathe. Before long he arrived at a crag.
There, he would usually stop to look back at the village before leaving Cosmo Canyon. Once he passed this point, the village would finally disappear beyond the horizon. Nanaki was not about to break with this tradition. He looked up toward the village, but it was nowhere to be seen. A huge boulder that he was sure wasn’t there before blocked his view.

Ah yes, it finally dawned on Nanaki.

The lifestream had come through here and had brought the rock from somewhere. Since he had last been here, he noticed that shape of the land had changed here and there.

On his way back, he had noticed
"The lifestream passed through here. That must have caused the boulder to fall. When I made my way back here, I noticed the geography had changed in many places. "

He looked around carefully again, and realized that parts of the canyon that had once protruded had been eroded away.

"Well, it can’t be helped", thought Nanaki.

"The changes aren’t troubling anyone. Compared to cities like Midgar, where the extent of the destruction made the reconstruction much more difficult, they were lucky. "

Nanaki leapt off a small boulder and continued his journey, paying close attention to the ground under his feet as he walked. Then, at some point he noticed a change. However, it wasn't a change in the landscape, but a change in him, in his body, in his mind. Nanaki stood still and closed his eyes. He looked deep into his heart.

There it is... but, what is it? How do I describe it, thought Nanaki.

Nanaki wanted to be able to describe it with words. For him, words were the best way to capture a situation and understand it. It was pitch black. It was as though a gaping hole had suddenly opened in his heart. No, not a hole. It was like a black lump. It was hard and dense. Suddenly, he began to shake. He felt like it had changed it's form.

I wonder what it's changing into—
Nanaki wondered as he trembled with fear.

“—” He wanted to make a sound, but the fear rendered him mute. Nanaki grit his teeth and tried to resist it, but he couldn't. He took a deep breath and ran back up the slope toward the village.

The villagers were surprised to see him running back. Soon, a crowd had gathered around him.

“What’s wrong, Nanaki?”

“Hmmm—” he started. He could feel the black lump was no longer there.

“Don’t tell us you were already getting homesick,” someone jeered. The others laughed.

“... maybe."

“Nanaki, pull yourself together! You're supposed to be a brave warrior!"

“Yes, you’re right.”

For a while, Nanaki spoke with the poeple of the village, before saying his goodbyes once again and heading on his way. He could have taken a different route, but he conciously decided to take the same path. He wanted find out whether it was the place itself which had caused the sudden fear, but this time nothing happened.

* * *

“Gilligan”. That was the name Nanaki gave to the thing that had suddenly appeared in his heart and struck him with fear. The word 'Gilligan' had no deeper meaning, but by giving it a name, Nanaki would surely not forget it. Names helped him certain events. And so, Nanaki continued on his journey with Gilligan as an unwelcomed dark passenger in his heart. Sometimes when he remembered it, he tried to fathom it's true face, but each time he was gripped with fear. As long as he was unable to keep it under control, he would rather just keep Gilligan out of his consciousness.


* * *

When Nanaki left Cosmo Canyon, he had a rough plan in mind. First, he would travel West, to the western continent, a narrow island which ran north to south, to visit Wutai, Yuffies hometown. After exploring there, his journey would take him back east. He would travel the vast continent, starting with Cid's hometown Rocket Town, then onto Corel, Barret's hometown, then Nibelheim, where Cloud and Tifa grew up. Then he would head north. He wanted to not only visit the villages, but also explore the remote, uninhabited areas. He had no idea how long all of this would take, but he wasn't worried. The life expectancy of his race was between five hundred and a thousand years. And in that lifetime, which surpassed any human life many times over, he wanted to ensure that he left a lasting legacy to the world.

"But I must not behave recklessly. After all, I will be living on much longer than everyone else"


* * *

Nanaki was on his way to Wutai. If possible, he wanted to see Yuffie again. She was always playful, and treated him as if he was her pet, but Nanaki just accepted it as her way of being friendly, and learned to appreciate it.

"Yuffie is easy to understand", thought Nanaki.

Even though she was surrounded by older companions, she had always tried to battle on par with them. Almost as if she wanted to show everyone that her age didn't matter at all when they stood together on the battlefield. Nanaki could understood that completely. Perhaps her intellectual age was comparable to his? He was now almost fifty, and had always wondered why he only had the understanding of a sixteen year old. However, the intellectual development of his race anyway differed from that of humans, and at some point he had given up thinking about it.

As Nanaki approached Wutai, completely by chance, he spotted Yuffie in the distance. He really wanted to sneak up behind her and give her a fright, but somehow, as he watched her from a hill, he lost his nerve. She was walking backwards, dragging a boy her age by the ankles behind her, toward the town. How far had they traveled already? The boy's body had certainly left a long trail in the grass. Nanaki couldn't see whether the boy was alive or not, but he could see that Yuffie was trying to speak to him. A moment later, she suddenly stopped. At first he thought that she was taking a break, but far from it; instead, she lifted the boy up and tried to carry him on her shoulder. However, Yuffie was exhausted, and it looked like she was having some difficulty.

“Guess it can’t be helped,” Nanaki muttered to himself, and headed in their direction. He was always happy to help, especially when others aren't expecting it. He quietly approached the completely unsuspecting Yuffie, walking softly, and out of nowhere asked,

“Would you like some help?”

It turned out that Yuri - Yuffie's friend - had become a victim of a disease that had recently become rampant in Midgar. This disease, whose most obvious symptom was a viscous black liquid that literally ran one out of every pore of the body, spread fear and terror, because it inevitably ended with death. In Midgar, it was an even bigger bigger problem than the difficult reconstruction. On his travels, Nanaki had heard rumors that the disease spreads by contact with infected, but Yuffie didn't seem the least bit concerned. However, Nanaki was concerned and wondered whether he should tell her from the rumors. But when he heard Yuffie and Yuri speaking, he quickly realized that she was aware of the rumors about the risk of infection.

Maybe she should have thought about that. What’s with this carelessness? No wait, realized Nanaki. It’s not carelessness. It’s kindness. Yuffie...I don’t know how close they are, but— she couldn’t just give up on her friend.

His thoughts turned to suspicion toward Yuri.

How could he take advantage of her kindness like that. What if she gets infected?

Nanaki was really angry, but of course he had to accept the situation as it was, after all it was Yuffie friend, and her decision alone. When the conversation turned to Materia, which could surely cure the disease, he said - presumably to give vent to his annoyance - that such materia doesn't exist. Yuffie reacted angrily, but Nanaki had counted on it. What he had not expected, however, was the sadness he saw in her eyes. Nanaki deeply regretted the contemptible words he had just said to her.

Finally they reached Wutai, and Nanaki spent a few days there. Yuffie took care of all of the patients that had now been placed under quarantine in isolation. Nanaki helped her with smaller tasks, if she explicitly asked him, otherwise he tried to keep his distance, and observed the disease. He was convinced that this was an event that he had to remember in order to preserve it for posterity. This was another facet of the great game of life.

“... um hey, is it true... you can speak?” asked one of the patients.

"Yes"

"...this is unfathomable. Why would a being like you be created? Your soul must have been mistakenly put in the wrong body. You must always wish to be human, right?"

“Hmmm—” Those words confounded Nanaki, but a realization came to him. Having the same thoughts and emotions as humans allowed him to observe and understand them. And it was his duty to pass on this knowledge of the evolution of the human race to future human generations. Nanaki was glad that he now understood his duty a little better.

Now I’ve learnt another thing, thought Nanaki.

* * *

Nanaki would have had no objection to staying in Wutai for a while, to observe the patient, and to spend time with Yuffie, but she ordered him to collect more information about the disease, and so he left. He was about to enter the lowlands, and turned back one last time to look at Wutai in the distance, before it disappeared from his sight. He was sure that from here he would still be able to see Yuffie at the work in the makeshift hospital, but the whole place was suddenly no longer visible. Apparently he had already entered the lowlands without noticing, and because of the land sink, Wutai had now disappeared from view.

Oh well. I’ll just have to come again sometime,

Nanaki was about to continue on his journey, when suddenly he was gripped with fear. It was Gilligan. It had resurfaced. Nanaki focused his whole consciousness on Gilligan, trying to find out once and for all what it had to do with him. The black lump trembled and suddenly something came to the surface. They were the faces of the people at Cosmo Canyon. Their friendly faces appeared, only to be immediately swallowed up by the darkness.

Those faces just now - who...?

When he realised he couldn’t remember their names, his whole body began to tremble. The shaking was so intense that he was unable to stand, and had to sit down on his hind legs.

Come on, remember their names, Nanaki encouraged himself.

Another face appeared from the darkness. It was Gilligan. It had a peaceful expression, one that Nanakí had never seen before. Then it started to sink back into the black sea. Suddenly, thoughts of death shot through Nanaki's mind.

Are the people of the valley going to die? Yuffie too?

Once again, Nanaki felt the crippling fear.

“Help me!”

He cowered on the ground, his whole body trembled as he called out for the Planet's protection. Inspired by misplaced hope that it could hear him, he wanted to shout out again, but Gilligan suddenly disappeared once again. Nanaki slowly stood up and looked round. He ran up the Valley and saw Wutai on the horizon. He saw Yuffie hard at work.

Some day Yuffie, too, would grow old and die. And most of the people of the Valley were already quite old. They would all die even sooner. Just the thought of it made Nanaki sad.

Certainly, he would cry with grief, and would be depressed for a long time. But why had Gilligan caused him to panic at the thought of the deaths of people he knew?

Is that Gilligan’s true form? The fear I feel when the time came when my friends die?

Nanaki shook the head to rid himself of these detrimental thoughts.

One day the time will surely come, but now is not the time to think about my friends' deaths, he thought.

Nanaki changed his plans and decided to investigate the “Midgar disease” as Yuffie and the people of Wutai called it. And where else could he learn more about this disease than in Midgar itself? On one hand, the more information there was, the more contradictory things would probably get. On the other hand, the pensive Cloud and the clever Tifa were in Midgar. Nanaki was therefore quite sure that he would gain valuable insights if he stayed there for a while.

* * *

Nanaki went south around Mount Nibel to continue on his journey east, but got lost in a forest he had never been in before. At first he relied completely on his animal instincts for orientation, but soon, it turned out that the forest was much deeper than he had initially assumed, and looked for a way out.

Even so, he continued to look for a way out, thinking it was nothing to be worried about. Even though the forest was deep, he could still tell which direction he was going in from the position of the sun in the sky. So, he continued his march onward, using the knowledge he had gained from humans. Eventually he reached the eastern end of the forest.

Suddenly, Nanaki heard a shot. It echoed through the thicket of the forrest, so it was difficult to tell which direction it came from, but Nanaki instinctively chose a direction and started running. Soon he found a ten year old boy being attacked by a monster. The monster looked like a bear with a long tail. No, perhaps it was a bear. Its whole body was covered with rusty coloured fur, and blood was dripping from one of his front legs. The boy had to have him shot. The wounded animal circled the frightened boy, who had fallen to the ground. The creature seemed to be trying to figure out what the boy would do next. But then, the eyes of the monster facing down on the boy started glowed red, and it began to stride up to the boy. Nanaki, who had stayed hidden in the shadows, leaped out from the undergrowth, biting firmly on his clothes and pulled him out of the way. After he had pulled him to safety behind some bushes, he turned to the bear. It seemed unimpressed with the appearance of this new enemy, and turned on Nanaki, almost as if it had been expecting interference. The claws on its two paws could be seen under its fur.

As if the bear didn’t care about who his new enemy was, it naturally ran towards Nanaki. The dangerous claws on its two front paws, which could be seen under its fur, had a gaping wound in them.

"I’m going to be in trouble if I get slashed by those", thought Nanaki.

“The weak spot of Nibel bears is their neck! Go, Red!” The boy suddenly said.

Nanaki was initially a bit perplexed, but it was true that the weak spot of many beasts were their throats, so he focused his attacks on the Nibel bear’s throat. He gave a typical animalistic roar to intimidate his opponent. It had the desired effect. The Nibel bear froze in its tracks. It examined this new opponents to assess his strength, and the two glared at one another for a while.

“What are you waiting for!? Go Red!”

You speak too easily. What could a human know of a battle between beasts who used nothing but their bodies as weapons. The forest is a wild beast's territory.

That moment, another shot rang out, and blood spurted from the neck of the bear. It's huge body crashed to the ground. That moment, a man emerged from the thicket, dressed unambiguously like a hunter, and fired a finishing shot at the bear. It stopped breathing. Then, the Hunter turned his gun on Nanaki. His posture revealed tension at first glance, he didn’t intend to shoot yet.

“Dad, don’t shoot! He saved me! It's fate! Heaven sent him to me! I want to take Red home with me!”

The young boy moved between the Hunter and Nanaki.

“‘Red?” the hunter asked back.

“Yeah. He’s red, so he’s ‘Red’.”

What a disgraceful name, thought Nanaki.

That name seemed like insults to Nanaki. It reminded him of the mad man who once gave him the same name. Nanaki growled quietly to express his disgust. The hunter and his son seemed alarmed, and took a few steps back.

“You can talk, right?”

The hunter still had his gun aimed at Nanaki.

“It's been a while, but the Shinra Company used to have a premium on your whole clan. Huge wolf-like animals with red fur and a flaming tail. Damn it! If I had caught you just a year ago, I would be a made man now!”

“Red can talk?”

Yes, it’s true that I can talk. And I am most likely wiser than the two of you. But I have no desire to talk to the likes of you. As if I could be friends with someone who points a gun at me and says whatever pops into their head.

Nanaki quickly turned, leaped into the thicket and disappeared into the dense forest.

“Damn it!”

A shot was fired. The bullet whizzed past Nanaki’s head.

See, I knew you would shoot at me. You’re the kind of person who would put me in chains and lock me in a cage. Then treat me like some sort of a pet, hoping that I would like you.

After putting some distance between him and the hunter and his son, Nanaki stopped and listened whether they were following him. This didn't seem to be the case, so he snuck back to where the father and son had been. As expected, they had already started to dissect the Nibel bear’s corpse.

“Dad, I want Red.”

“Yeah, he would probably bring in alot of money. Even with the Shinra Company gone, we could still make an attraction out of him if we take him to the Gold Saucer!"

“But...No! I want to be his friend!”

“Don’t be silly,” the hunter said as he used his knife to cut off the Nibel bear’s tail.
“It’s not a dog or a cat. You can't tame it.”

...Definitely not, thought Nanaki.

“Right, let's go get some helpers.”

“What for?”

"So far we've only been able to use the Nibel bear’s tails. The Shinra Company has always paid well for them, because they could use them to produce a stimulant for their elite soldiers. But now it's the meat that's most valuable to us. It doesn't taste of much, but with the right preparation you can make something tasty out of it!"

“Oh, so we eat it, then?”

“Yeah. There's gonna be global food shortages. Nobody knows how long it'll last, but it is certain that food of any kind can now earn good money! '

The father and son left the dead Nibel Bears and went on their way. It was clear to Nanaki that this hunter was not a thoroughly bad person. In fact, he was only doing his best to survive in these hard times. If from now on Nibel Bears could be part of the foodchain, then they should hunt them. Every living thing has to eat, or it will die.

Bugenhagen had once told Nanaki that one can distinguish animals from monsters by how they treat a killed opponent. An animal kills to eat, but a monster kills for no reason, then searches for it's next prey. According to this classification, humans have more in common than with monsters than with animals. If the hunter only wanted the tail of the Nibel Bear, then he truely was a monster. But it was a different story if he depended on the meat from the Nibel bear for food. Though you couldn't exactly call it a fair fight, since the bear had no gun, after all, but that's just how the food chain works. Even though Nanaki didn't particularly agree with the hunter and his son, he didn't feel that he should interfere.

Because Nanaki had spent most of his time with humans since he was very young, he hardly ever had any need to hunt. There were times when he pondered the origins of his species, and had gone hunting to see how it felt. But because he had hunted his prey without any intention of eating it, he had thought of himself as a monster. So he had no right to judge this hunter and his son. Most humans take the lives of other living things to eat, and so to survive, without even thinking about it. Even if they were conscious about it, they would avoid thinking too deeply about it. It was only those who came in direct contact with these animals who were in touch with the reality of it, while the majority of the population who ate meat were blind to it.

Yes, thought Nanaki. I’m not one to judge them. Many humans are unconsciously taking the lives of other animals and eating them to live. Even if they were conscious about it, they would avoid thinking too deeply about it, besides the ones who made a living hunting for food.

Nanaki was no different. What use was there in overthinking it? Even if there were a higher truth and absolutely correct behavior, one way or another, his hands were tied.

On the carcass of the Nibel bear, all kinds of small creatures had already appeared. Nanaki lay down and observed their activity. This was also a part of the eternal cycle of life of the planet. He had to focus to objectively store these memories away, free of any emotion.

“Geeeeee!” Suddenly he heard a high-pitched roar and two small Nibel bears came running toward the corpse. All of the small creatures quickly scurried away. The two cubs approached the carcass of the larger bear - most likely their mother - and nudged her with their paws and noses. They seemed to be trying to wake her up.

They seem to be trying to wake her up.

Nanaki couldn't do much more than just watch them, fascinated. But then he remembered that the Hunter said he was going to bring people back here. That meant danger for the cubs.

That hunter said he was going to bring people back here. Those cubs are in danger.

Suddenly, Nanaki's desire to simply observe the course of things disappeared. Nanaki came out of the bushes and made himself known to the bear's cubs.

“I understand how you feel, but it is not safe for you here. Come with me.”

Nanaki urged the bears to follow him into the undergrowth. But of course, they couldn't understand what he was saying to them, and just stared at him with an expression that he couldn’t understand.

“This isn’t good. The humans will be here soon.”

Nanaki thought for a moment, then leapt towards one of the cubs and gently lifted it by the scruff of it's neck with his teeth.

“Geeeeee!” A little startled, the bear cub reacted to Nanaki's assault with a high-pitched roar, while his brother started to growl loudly.“Geeeeee!”

Nanaki was satisfied by their reaction, and disappeared into the undergrowth with the cub in his mouth, while the other, of coarse, took up pursuit.

“There you go, that’s it.”

Nanaki continued deep into the forest. He paused from time to time, so the other little cub didn't get left behind. And as soon as he caught up, Nanaki would start running again. This went on for a while, until they finally reached a clearing deep in the forest. The ground was covered with a weathered stone paving which was a sign that people must have once been here. As Nanaki looked around a little, he noticed a messy pile of building blocks. Obviously someone had once planned to build something here.

Was someone trying to build something here?

However, that was the only sign that humans had ever been here. Everything suggested that this place had been abandoned long ago.

Nanaki set down the bear cub. At first he was alarmed because it wasn’t moving, but when he listened closely he realized that it was sound asleep, snoring softly.

Such a carefree little creature.

As the second cub finally arrived in the clearing, it let out a single roar out of panic, before it ran to his brother and sniffed. Nanaki's scent on his brother bothered him for a while, but he buried his tiny nose in his fur. Eventually, the little bear was satisfied or just exhausted, either way, he yawned, cuddled up to his brother and promptly fell asleep.

How cute, thought Nanaki. But something troubled him.

What should I do now? Am I responsible for these cubs now?

He lay down on the ground and gazed at the tiny things.

Could they survive without their mother? What do Nibel bears even eat?

At a glance they could be mistaken for ferocious carnivores, however, creatures like these were often omnivores, just like Nanaki himself. In that case, the forest offered a variety of food - and Nanaki had his answer. He wanted to gather a little food for them in a pile and then finally leave this forest. Of course, he was concerned about the cubs, but he couldn't play their surrogate mother, and certainly not indefinitely. It was probably better for both sides to part ways, before they got too accustomed to one another. But for now, Nanaki also wanted to sleep. He yawned quietly and then closed his eyes.

A while had passed before Nanaki opened his eyes again. The two bears were nowhere to be seen.

Oh you have already flown the coop? Oh well... farewell, grow big and strong... huh?

Just then, he felt something warm at his side. Unbelievably, he found the two little cubs had snuggled up to him, and were sleeping soundly.

This isn’t good—Not good at all.

However, Nanaki noticed a feeling in his chest, which he had never felt before. A feeling that was stronger than all reason in his mind. And so he decided to take care of the two cubs until they could survive on their own.


The two bear cubs, whom he had given the names “Bazu” and “Rin", had now bonded with Nanaki and he taught them how to hunt. Nanaki himself wasn't necessarily an expert in the field, but in the end, the practice itself could even be of benefit to himself someday. He had no qualms about taking the lives of other living beings. This was a fair fight for the survival. Sometimes they would encounter other Nibel bears. Every time, Nanaki would try to make it clear that he was not hostile, but the bears simply ignored him. It was moments like those, which he somewhat regretted getting involved with the cubs. Or was it just a sign that they had accepted him as an inhabitant of the forest? All sorts of thoughts went through his mind. Every day there was something new to discover, and new worries, but all in all the days were generally peaceful. Sometimes he wondered if he really had time for this life. Then he would always tell himself that this was all part of his great task, but realistically he had to admit that he had now taken a liking to this lifestyle, and it would probably be very difficult for him to give up when the time came.

Before long, Nanaki would see humans coming into the forest to hunt almost every day. It appeared that Nibel bear hunting was becoming regular. They had accepted the bear’s meat into their diet. He knew he would have to teach Bazu and Rin, not only how to hunt, but also how to identify humans and stay away from them.

Nanaki didn't know quite how much time he had spent in the forest now.

Keeping track of time is a characteristic of humans, thought Nanaki.

Although he was able to live as both a human as well as as a beast, but these were clearly the days of the beast. He thought of the promise he had made to Yuffie, but that disease was the concern of humans now, and had nothing to do with the world of beasts.

At first he felt bad for thinking that way, but now he could see things from a different perspective.
them as separate from one another. If one day he would return to the world of humans, he wanted to tell them about his time in the forest as a beast. And that he felt in his heart, how important his feelings as an animal were to him.

Gilligan appeared several times in Nanaki's consciousness. To the familiar faces, soon joined Bazu and Rin’s. As with everyone else, they appeared in the deep darkness, only to sink back again soon after. The disappearance of two bear cubs in the darkness caused Nanaki to tremble with fear again. However, his fear would be vanquished as soon as he felt them snuggling up to him. Nanaki now knew. Gilligans true form was his fear of loss. It was the fear of losing loved ones that made Nanaki tremble. Once Nanaki had realized that, he no longer had to fear Gilligan. One thing became clear to him:

Nothing can ever be achieved through fear of loss.


* * *

The days in the forest came to an abrupt end. Bazu and Rin had at some point grown to the same shoulder height as Nanaki, and both had set up their own small den, so they started going off on their own from time to time. There was nothing in particular that triggered it, but eventually, they got into the habit of sleeping apart from one another, with Nanaki between them.

There goes the end of an era.

That made him a little sad, but mostly, he felt pride at how admirably they had both grown up.

One morning, Nanaki awoke to find that the brothers were no where to be seen. At first, he figure they now not only slept apart from him, but also hunted for food on their own. Suddenly he heard a gunshot, immediately followed by the roar of a Nibel bear.

"That was Bazu."

Nanaki, who could now find his way through the forest blindfolded, immediately ran in the direction of Bazu's roar. When he finally arrived there, he thought he was experiencing déjà-vu.

That day, the boy had fallen to the ground, looking scared as a Nibel bear circled him. It was Bazu. He seemed to be keeping an eye on the thickets nearby, probably waiting for Rin. Bazu stood up on his hind legs, stretched out his paws into the air and roared loudly. Then Rin's roar could be heard in reply from the undergrowth.

The boy had fear in his eyes as he searched the area for an escape route. When he spotted, there was a spark of hope in his eyes.

“Red! It’s me! You still remember me, right? You saved me here in the forest!"

Back then, Nanaki couldn’t just allow the boy to be killed. But today things were different and he knew the words he had to say to him.

“You are here in the forest, so you must abide by the rules of the forest.”

When the boy heard Nanaki's words, a smile crossed his face. The knowledge that Nanaki could really speak filled him with joy.

Quite an intrepid child, thought Nanaki.

“Alright, Red!”

The boy jumped to his feet and ran towards his gun, which Bazu had likely swiped away with his paw.

"I didn't say that to help you", thought Nanaki.

Nanaki was still surprised by the boy's reaction as he reached for the gun. He feared that Bazu could be shot, and wanted to dive out of the undergrowth, when suddenly Rin appeared. With a single swipe, he knocked the boy off his feet. He crashed to the ground, motionless. Nanaki wanted to intervene, but he told himself that the boy had to fight here in the forest under the rules of the forest. If he lost, it was just bad luck. Bazu and Rin circled around the boy. After a while they stood up on their hind legs, and roared into the sky.

"That’s enough!"

Nanakì jumped out of the undergrowth, and stood in front of the boy, shielding his body from the two bears.

Their powerful claws swung down towards the boy, and slashed into Nanaki’s back, tearing through his flesh.

“Geee!” “Geee!” When the two bears realized the situation changed, they immediately withdrew their claws and let out a desperate roar. It reminded Nanaki of the day they first met, when they had found their dead mother.

“Don’t worry about it. Now go!”

The two Nibel bears pulled away and disappeared quickly into the forest.

“Ugh—”

Nanakí heard the quiet groaning of the boy behind him.

"Boy, where are you!? I told you not to run off on your own, damn it!"

"That must be that hunter’s voice", thought Nanaki.

Nanaki quickly hid in the undergrowth.

“Hey, Gordy! What happened!”

As expected, it was the boy's father who came running. But he was followed by another person. Nanaki was shocked at the sight.

“That was a Nibel bear, right?"

It was a young woman dressed in a Turks uniform—Elena took out a small vial, probably a healing potion, from the side pocket of her jacket and began to treat the injured boy.

"What does this mean?", thought Nanaki.

"Does this mean the Shinra Company is still active?"

Nanaki regretted not paying more attention to the affairs of humans. He watched as the hunter carried the boy out of the forest on his back, while Elena took out her cell phone and called someone.

“I found one. I'll try my luck again tomorrow.”

When Nanaki returned to the stone house in the forest clearing, he found Bazu and Rin nervously pacing. No sooner had they perceived Nanaki, they hid themselves in the undergrowth.

"I'm not mad at you!"

Nanaki and slumped to the ground. Although he wasn't really angry, his wounds still hurt. He needed a little rest and recuperation. Tomorrow, the woman from Shinra would return to the forest. It seemed they had it in for Nibel bears. So tomorrow would be a busy day. Nanaki could sense Bazu and Rin approaching him, but he closed his eyes. Soon, he could feel the brothers licking the wounds on the back.

"Thank you, Bazu, Rin."


* * *

Blessed with the fast recovery abilities of a beast, Nanaki slowly stood up. He looked around, but couldn't see any sign of the two bears anywhere. Normally they slept within sight. Nanaki became suspicious and searched the nearby undergrowth, looking for them, with no luck. Nibel bears weren't usually nocturnal. Nanaki started to panic and began his search in the forest.

After a while, Nanaki believed he heard gun shots in the distance, from outside the forest. He thought he heard gunfire somewhere far away. It was outside of the forest. He began to tremble all over. Gilligan, who hadn't shown up for some time appeared again. He cowered on the ground as he trembled with fear. By now, he had forgotten how best to resist against Gilligan's attacks.

"What am I supposed to do again? Ah yes. Bazu and Rin. They can get rid of this fear. But were are they."

Nanaki clenching his teeth and headed for the edge of the forest.

With his head lowered, he hurried on, trying to fight against the trembling. As the scent in the air changed, he knew he had left the forest. Nanaki lifted his head. Before him lay a gently sloping grassy plain. The hunters had trampled a well beaten track through the grass. As Nanaki followed the path with the eyes, he saw several lights in the distance. It was a small village. The largest of the lights flickered in the darkness.


Maybe a campfire? thought Nanaki. Was it being used for cooking?

As Nanaki took in everything in sight, he focused, trying to rid himself of Gilligan, but with no effect. Nanaki walked on with determination towards the lights.

"It is", he thought.

Actually, Nanaki had already guessed it. The campfire illuminated the figures of Bazu and Rin. The two had been tied to huge posts in a familiar pose: with their front paws stretched upwards. Their tails had been cut off. Suddenly, Nanaki felt something take over him. Gilligan was no longer there. Though, he was still scared to look closely at the two bears, so instead looked over his surroundings. There were three small cabins, all lit up. Pricked his ears up, he could hear men and women laughing. Perhaps they were celebrating the successful hunt? In any case, no one seemed to be keeping watch. Nanaki still didn't have the heart to look directly at the brothers.

"Did Bazu and Rin come here to take revenge? Such emotion doesn’t belong to beasts. Humans and Nibel bear might well be natural enemies, but in general, that was nothing personal. Personal feelings play no role between individuals of the two species. If anything, humans are the only species capable of hostility and hatred toward another."

Perhaps it was the air outside of the forest, but Nanaki suddenly felt a desire for revenge in his heart. This wasn't his animalistic side, but his human side.

“Geee”

Suddenly, Nanaki heard a faint roar from the direction of the bears. He was frightened. It sounded like cries of pain. Even though they were big, they were still very young. Dark thoughts spread through Nanaki's consciousness. It wasn’t Gilligan, but these thoughts clouded his mind more and more. Slowly, he was being taking over by the desire for revenge, and it seemed to be gaining the upper hand.

Then he heard the cries of a baby from one of the huts.

So, these people have a small child... It must be very cute. This must be a sign - a sign that I have to control himself. All babies are free from sin.

Nanaki's heart was being torn between human and beast.

Pching!

A bullet hit the ground just a few inches next to Nanaki. He hadn't even heard the shot. Nanaki was torn from his trance. He realized that he was so far gone that he couldn’t even recognise the sound of gunfire. He looked over at Bazu and Rin again. The roar he heard must have just been in his imagination. The two were already long dead. This time, he looked into their eyes. Behind their half-closed eyelids, he could see the flames of the campfire reflected in their red eyes. Nanaki felt like the flames were jumping on him, burning in his eyes. Soon the whole area glowed in a glistening red, and he could see nothing else.

Another gunshot rang through the air. Nanaki heard it this time. He followed the sound and sprinted to one of the cabins. With a single bound, he jumped through the window. The glass shattered with a loud crash. Several armed men stood before him.

I was spurred on by my human ties, but now I stand here before you as a wild animal.

Human faces surrounded Nanaki, but he could no longer distinguish them.

Another shot rang out, and his cheek was flooded with agonizing pain. That was the signal to attack. Nanaki leapt at the man standing closest to him.

He could barely remember what happened after that. He merely had a vague recollections of the pain as the bullet pierced his body, as well as to the cries of a boy.

“I wanted to be your friend!”

When Nanaki opened his eyes, he was lying on a wooden bed, which was covered with blood. He let his gaze wander. In one corner of the room sat a familiar figure dressed in red. The man looked over at him.

“Can you get up?”

Vincent had no concern in his voice.

“Vincent?... Vincent! What are you doing here?”

“I should ask you the sake thing.”

Vincent answered with a disinterested tone in his voice.


* * *

Although Vincent didn't reveal much, apparently he had spent his days aimlessly traveling the world. He said with a little self-deprecation, that he had probably been waiting this whole time for something to finally happen. One day, by chance, he spotted a Shin-Ra helicopter in the sky and followed it, which led him to this village. The helicopter had landed here. Elena of the Turks was probably on the search for something, and had gone into the forest with the hunters. A while later, they returned carrying a wounded boy, and that evening the two bears suddenly showed up here. There had been a terrible uproar, but the hunters finally managed to bring the bears down. Elena had obviously got what she came for, then left with the helicopter. Just as Vincent was about to follow, Nanaki suddenly appeared. Vincent had heard shots and then watched Nanaki jumping into one of the huts.

"When I got here, you had a hunter pinned to the ground, and were about to bite through his throat. And a child was screaming hysterically, that he wanted to be your friend, or something like that. I have no idea what happened, but I didn't see the Nanaki I know. You were like a wild beast attacking people... So I shot you."

After Vincent had shot Nanaki, the hunters had no idea what had happened. And it would have been too dangerous to leave them there with their guns, so he drove them out of the cabin, and even from her village.

“I gave them a little scare, you know? All I had to do was transform.”

After that, Vincent treated the unconscious Nanaki and waited for him to regain consciousness.

Nanaki looked around the cabin. There was blood all over the floor.

“Did I kill someone?”

“No.”

"...That's good."

The two were silent for a while. Nanaki tried to get up to look out the window. Although he was dizzy, he somehow managed to stand on four legs. Vincent said to him, as if it had just occurred to him:

“They took away the bears that were outside. Should I have stopped them?”

“No. They will probably be of use to them. That's the rule of the forest. Or perhaps it’s the rule beyond the forest? Vincent. I just don’t understand anything anymore!”

“Tell me, what happened?"

Vincent silently listened to Nanaki's story. He told him everything, from his first encounter with the two helpless cubs in the forest, to his reunion here with Vincent.

“What should I have done differently?”

Vincent remained silent. Nanaki already suspected that Vincent probably had no answer for him either, but surprisingly, he started to speak.

"If you ask me, if one day you look back on all these events, you will find the answer for yourself. But if you look back again after some time, you may suddenly get a completely different answer. In other words, there isn't just one answer. Just continue living your life, the rest will sort itself out."

What Vincent was trying to say, was as simple as it was true: Never forget.

'Yeah...'

Nanaki thought he understood, but equally he felt that he actually understood nothing. All in all, he was left with a very unsatisfactory feeling.

“Maybe you will understand if I told you this,” Vincent added as if he saw right through Nanaki’s mind.

“One moment, you are 100 percent sure that what you are doing is right, but the next moment it is already wrong. Completely wrong. ''

"...how do I know what is wrong and what isn't? No matter how much I think about it, I just can't come to the right conclusion." figure it out

“That’s just it,”

Vincent stood up, as if to signal the end of the conversation. But he continued, like he just remembered:
“You can also choose not to do anything. I made that choice once.”

“How did it turn out?”

"It was probably a fair punishment."

With a dramatic turn, Vincent's red mantle fluttered as he left the cabin. Nanaki quickly followed him.

Vincent seemed to be traveling east. But before long he left the road and headed into the wilderness.

“Where are you going?”

"Why do you want the know?"

“Can’t I come with you?”

"Why?"

“Well, because—”

"...because I won't be lonely if we're together."

Especially here in the middle of nowhere - walking along the bottom of a cliff, the height of a multi-storey building - he wanted to be with someone. He didn't want to be alone.

“Your answer is one hundred percent wrong.”

Vincent effortlessly jumped up the towering cliff above them.

“Vincent!”

There was no answer. His red mantle had already disappeared.

“Who is to say you're not wrong, Vincent?!”

He suddenly realized something. There was no sense in wondering who was right, or what you could have done differently. You can't change the past, only the future. What was important was to be aware of the past, to never forget it, and to learn from it. Then the answers will come to you, and will be of use to you. That's all there is to it. It's no big deal, compared to living each day as it comes.

"Neither I, nor Bazu or Rin had any worries in the forest. Our days in the forest were happy."

Nanaki leaned against the foot of the cliff, crouched on the ground and reminisce over his time in the forest. He saw the two bear brothers in his mind: how restlessly they had always slept, though they were animals. Bazu, as he played in the stream. Rin, as he fell from the tree. As the two bears caught their first fish and devoured it in one bite. Nanaki laugh out loud, but at the same time he couldn't hold back the tears.

"Farewell. Beast world. "

Nanaki got up and headed east. After a while, he changed his mind and headed north.


* * *

Cid was in Rocket Town, feverishly working on the construction of a new airship. But when he spotted Nanaki covered with fresh scars, he convinced him to take time to let his wounds heal. Nanaki followed this advice, and watched with interest at the construction of the airship, which was close to completion, but was always careful not to get in the way. When Nanaki finally realized that he had spent almost two years in the forest with the two Nibel Bears, he couldn't believe it at first. Cid also seemed to have lost all sense of time due to his work, because even he was surprised that it had already been two years since the last time they had seen eachother. He came to the realization that time must lost all meaning, if one lives a fulfilled life.

"Time must lose all meaning, if one lives a fulfilled life."

Nanaki learned that Barret had also been here relatively recently. He would have liked to have seen him again. He was sure that he would have been greeted just as warmly by Barret as he was by Cid. As though everything happened just yesterday. One day the cheerful Cid invited Nanaki on a small test flight, now that the airship was practically finished. Nanaki accepted the invitation with pleasure.

“If it falls, that’ll be that. Don’t blame me for it, ya hear,” said Cid.

"That’ll be that. Not a bad saying", thought Nanaki.

From the sky, it became apparent just how small the world really was. For Nanaki, who had traveled the world pretty much always on all fours, it was another big realization. He made a mental note to thank Cid for this memorable experience.

"I must thank Cid for giving me the chance to see the world from this point of view", thought Nanaki.

"I will be spending several hundred years on this small world, perhaps even longer. There are still many facets of life, which I do not know. Much of which I have yet to see and learn."

Down on the ground, due to the seemingly infinite wilderness stretching in all directions, he might have lost sight of his goal. But he now knew that the world wasn't quite as big as it seemed. And this knowledge alone gave him the courage to believe that maybe one day he would have seen and experienced everything.

“The world is waiting for me.”

“What do you mean? Quit exaggerating— Huh? Hey, hey! Look over there— “

“What is it?”

“Look. It’s Yuffie. What the hell is she doing out here?”

Nanaki felt a quite guilty reuniting with Yuffie. After all, he had promised her during their farewell, to gather as much information as he could about the Midgar disease, but really, the subject hadn't occupied him much at all. To hide his feelings of guilt, he tried to act cheerful, excited even. Soon, Cid flew off, leaving Nanaki alone with Yuffie. Yuffie said in her usual, unique way, that he should accompany her on her search for Materia. However, Nanaki's opinion hadn't changed since their last meeting. Back then, he was mad at Yuffie's friend Yuri, and told her out of spite, that the materia she was searching for didn't exist. But he felt a little different about it now, he was now even more convinced that there was no Materia to cure the Midgar disease - or “Geostigma” as he had learned it was called back in Rocket Town -

During his time in the forest, Yuffie had been searching in vain for such materia, and that was proof enough for him. Just because he had such a trust in Yuffie's abilities, he thought in such a way. But when he told her this, she looked at him with sadness in her eyes.

If Yuffie had been searching during all that time he was in the forest, and never found any cure, then it really doesn’t exist. When he told Yuffie that’s what he believed, she looked at him with a sad face.

“I’m sorry. Of course I’ll help you look,” promised Nanaki.

Together with Yuffie, he entered a Materia cave which lay in a Snowfield, to the north of Corel. However, their search in the ice-cold cave was unsuccessful.

“Damn! There really isn’t any here! I’m done!” said Yuffie.

“You're giving up?”

“No, I'm going to keep looking. Their hopes rest with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“This is the last materia cave I know about. But, I'll go through them one more time, because I might have missed a something—You know. But something is clear to me now. While I'm here, so much time passes for them."

Yuffie looked off into the distance. She had taught the patients in Wutai martial arts. At first, it was just the children, but then, the adult patients started coming to her to consult her about their physical condition, and to excercise under her guidance.

“You see. This disease really is contagious. But it doesn’t spread to just anyone. It nests in your heart if you're in doubt, carry around painful memories or have lost the joy in life. But martial arts and movement help to focus on positives and expel negative thoughts. If you're busy every day, and in the evening go to bed totally tired, you have no time to dwell on things. I'd like to continue my work back home as soon as possible."

Yuffie looked at Nanaki and smiled.

“What do you think?”

“I completely agree with you.”

“Of course you do!”

Yuffie wrapped her arms around Nanaki’s neck and pulled him up, so he had to stand on his hind legs.

“Stop it!”

“Huh? You're covered with scars. What happened?”

Nanaki thought about how he was going to explain to her.

“I am on a journey to record all forms of life to memory."

He actually presented it differently, but he had plunged into the cycle of life and lived it to the fullest. And he remembered each and every detail. He had experienced things, which he, as an outsider and uninvolved observer, would never have understood. It had, however, come at a price, and had left scars on body and soul.

“Stop acting cool, you silly thing.”

Yuffie once again wrapped her arms firmly around his neck, but this time she loosened her grip again.

“Keep at it, Nanaki.”

* * *

After separating from Yuffie, Nanaki wandered rather aimlessly around the world. Whenever he encountered animals, he wondered whether he could somehow live with them. When he met people, he spoke to them without fear. From everything, whether right or wrong, you could learn the truth, it seemed to him. And thus many new names crept into Nanakis memory: Glitter, dream thief, Kai, spinning power, love, cries of the trees - he gave all the important people and events names, including those with which he connected painful experiences. But there was always invaluable knowledge to be gained.

Nanaki lived every day to the fullest, but a constant fear plagued him. No sooner had he spent his days alone again, even Gilligan reappeared and seemed to become stronger with each passing day. The more experiences he collected on his journey, the more he had to lose.

"This must be the reason that Gilligan is growing more and more."

Gilligan's true face was the fear of loss. Now that Nanaki knew what it was, the unknown had lost its terror, and he didn't have fear it anymore. Regardless, he still found himself trembling, and each time he needed longer to recover from the attacks.

The question of why came to Nanaki, so much so that he feared he might be mistaken about Gilligan's true face. So he thought all over again, about what Gilligan really was. But the only thing that came to him was the absolutely paralyzing fear. There was no doubt about it, that was what it was.


* * *

"Gilligan, you say?"

After a long time, Nanaki ran into Vincent again near the lake in the Forgotten City. Vincent listened patiently to Nanakis story... theory.

"I have an idea what it's all about."

“What? Tell me!”

Nanaki excitedly urged Vincent, as if he was about to jump at him, to get a response from him.

"Losses are inevitable, there is no way out of it. Loss leads to sadness, and just the thought of it leads to fear. However - and this is the strange thing - eventually you get used to it. "

“Hmmm—maybe.”

“Gilligan comes from a distant future. A future that you subconsciously fear.”

“Huh?”

"All of the people you know. All events, phenomena, everything. Try to imagine a future in which everything exists only in your memories. If there is no one left to share everything with."

“Hmmm—”

Nanaki tried to imagine it. That moment, Gilligan began to stir in him. Nanaki endured the trembling and remained focused. He imagined himself running up a hill that overlooked Midgar. But when he finally got to the top, an incredible sight confronted him: Midgar was completely overgrown by plants, which he didn’t even know the names of. However, he could also distinguish people.

However, among them there was nobody he knew. Nevertheless, if he went and spoke to the people, perhaps someone would show interest and would listen to his story. But then there would probably be no one who would give a knowing nod, and offer their own little anecdotes.

“I’m all alone.”

Nanaki trembled.

“I have such a long lifespan, that one day I will experience loneliness—And my fear of loneliness. Is that Gilligan?”

"To me, these are unnecessary worries about the future."
“I call it exhaustion from over-anxiety.”

“Don’t make fun of me!”

Vincent acknowledged Nanaki's little outburst with just a smirk.

“Then imagine this. You'll never be lonely. Maybe you'll even have children someday.”

“Me... have children? I just can’t imagine that. When I try, I just think of the two Nibel bears..”

“Then how about this: You visit Midgar once a year. There, I will be waiting. And I will be listening to your banal stories as if I have no interest at all.”

Nanaki tried to imagine what Vincent had just told him. He couldn't see Vincent's disinterested expression before him and his trembling passed. Gilligan seemed to have disappeared.

“Looks like you’ve stopped trembling.”

“Yes. But Vincent, one day you too will—”

“That day will never come. I am immortal, and I do not age. Whether that is fortunate or misfortunate for me.”

“I see—”

Nanaki thought about the loneliness that Vincent would one day face.

"I may indeed live a long time, but certainly not forever. But Vincent, he -"

“Hey. While I’m still alive, we should meet from time to time.”

Vincent looked less than enthusiastic at the idea, but looked at Nanaki for a while

“Just once a year. It doesn't need to be any more often than that."

"Why not?"

"Well you're an annoying fellow."

No sooner had he said that, Vincent lowered his eyes, and hid his face behind the collar of his mantle. It was apparent that his shoulders were shaking slightly. That was probably the first time that Nanaki saw Vincent laugh.

“Gilligan. Gilligan did you say?”

“Heh. Laugh all you want.”

“If you’ll excuse me.”

Vincent no longer held back, and laughed out loud. At first, Nanaki tried to suppress it, but before long he too burst out in laughed.

It was the first time since the days of the Cetra, that laughter could be heard in the Forgotten City.