Hey it’s looneymoon (aka Kanaya and lots of other cool usernaemz). I cba to make an account here so Brent kindly offered to post up my thoughts for me. I’m gonna try and be as direct and forward as possible, because I think everyone is kind of skirting the real issue of why this whole ordeal is so dramatic as it is. Imo at least.
In response to Fangu
“1. Don’t post your naked body on the Internet if you don’t want it to spread. If you regret it 2 sec later - too late. Damage done.”
I could easily reword this to something along the line of “don’t go out at night wearing skimpy clothing lest you want some dude to stick his dick in you. If you regret it 2 sec later – too late. Damage done.”
Honestly I hate it when people make really dramatic comparisons like that, but honestly; the entire mindset of the people dealing with this issue is very uncomfortable and gives me an awful rape culture vibe. That isn’t only directed at Fangu, but the way the staff is treating the issue as a whole. Sure Ryu apologized to the individual, but what exactly does that do to quell the feeling of discomfort levelled against the entire community? Most of the big name active userbase on the forum is deeply unsettled by the whole thing and yet the mods are brushing that aside.
I honestly do not think the mods comprehend the severity of the wrong that was committed. It’s not a case of numbers of wrong done in this case, it’s about degree. There’s a vast difference between complimenting someone in a tongue-in-cheek manner and deliberately sexually harassing someone (because that’s what it was, it was sexual harassment) after said person made it clear that they did not want that attention anymore. His claiming that he didn’t do anything wrong in subsequent posts and his post in this thread (“Yes. If you’re going to put nudes of yourself on the internet, make damn sure you don’t mind people seeing them”
only makes matters worse and shows that he does not understand what exactly was wrong with what he did. I will say right now that I consider myself an at least decent human being with solid ethics – I am not comfortable with having someone with those kinds of ethics in a staff position. It does not facilitate a comfortable or enjoyable community to me.
And no, it’s not a case of “not getting his humour.” It’s a case of the humour not being funny and downright offensive. That’s coming from someone who appreciates lowbrow humour, but there comes a point where it simply out of line. Ryu’s joking was not JUST out of line. His joking is more like that one racist old relative you have that always makes the uncomfortable jokes at family dinners that makes everyone feels awkward. To call it humour/”a joke” is in itself, sickening and offensive imo. I can give you at least one example in which a similar occurrence has happened to me personally. I didn’t report it then because the severity was not as strong as it was in this case, and the thread in which it happened died pretty quickly after the fact.
As far as the privacy rules are concerned – that is complete bullshit and you know it. TLS is a forum and forums do not operate independently outside the regular universe. It’s not an issue about privacy. It’s about mods treating their userbase with respect, which is something that shouldn’t need to be written down. This is something Ryu very directly defiled and is something the staff has continued to defile in this thread as well.
I think it’s telling when the level of discomfort is so high that some of the most active/most respected members are thinking about leaving the forums as a result (I can give you several names if you wish). And to be perfectly honest – if the staff does not see the problem in how this whole ordeal is being handled, then I’d probably ask for my account to be deleted altogether if that were possible.
