I know I am a little late on thanking you guys for your votes, but Thank You. Its an honor to be next to Fangu in Hottest Female. Didn't I win this award last year too? Nice! Thanks for your votes. Much appreciated.
Nah, the last half of 2013 was tough on me so I didn't exactly spread sunshine - it was general whining over things people might consider to be first world problems, which might have not exactly given off an 'omg I like this person' vibe. Although I must say I have no idea what I did different last year. I was surprised to be on top of that list last year, tbh. The front page, probably.
Also might be a case of 'Fangu had so damn many awards last year she don't need that many this year'.
I have no idea. Would be cool to do statistics, just like I'd like to do statistics on AO3 (what are the chances of getting more Kudos for the x amount you have, what chances are of getting comments if there's comments/ Kudos already, chances of getting hits if there's Kudos etc) because people tend to follow in the direction of the general crowd. (I don't put myself above this in any way, I do it myself.) My mood is cloudy today so I will admit I experimented by trying to sway some of the awards early; vote, and for some them give a good reason as to why, to see if I could sway the vote. Of course I can't compare it to what would happen if I didn't, but for the awards I did, there were more votes. Now it sounds like I didn't think the people I voted for deserved their awards, or that I didn't really want them to win, which is faulty. The only thing I did different was I made sure I advocated for them as soon as the poll was posted instead of wait.
I might sound awfully vicious right now, but I am no more so than Flint. Psychology and human behaviour is super interesting stuffs. That's another reason why people like Arianna shouldn't feel bad about getting awards.
Very cloudy mood indeed, summed up in this:
Is it so unforgivable, Balthier, that I find in you more worth than is contained in the value of a ship?
If you value me, then your awards must mean nothing.
Honestly, though it's nice to get an award or two I probably find it more thrilling than I should ie I should get out more.
I guess what I mean is, if this were RL and we were all together I'd already know if you guys thought I was funny because presumably you would make laughing noises with your faces, but on the internet its a little different and I have trouble reading people online sometimes - one of the reasons this guy is a godsend. So it is nice to have that acknowledgement.
But we should also bear in mind that each of us has our own perception, not everybody is reading every post in every thread, even though it's public its not public public. Eg: For all I know hilarious shit is always going down in X thread, but I wouldn't know if I don't read that thread.
So we shouldn't read too much into it. I myself intended to vote for a few things and never got round to it because of RL shit, and then it was too late. I guess I'll have open a dupe account and double vote next year to compensate
Having said all that, I don't want people feeling like this is a circlejerk or some sort of elitist club and I would be happy to do away with the awards for the sake of inclusivity.
I barely participated in the voting tbh, there were only a few categories I actrually posted and voted in and in the main it's because I didn't have time and I partly felt like there were just too many categories. Having a proper objective think and post about each one would have taken a full day and I just didn't have the time.
I voted in what I would consider "important" categories such as best site contributor, best staff, lifetime achievement etc. for two reasons: non participation felt ungrateful to those who had taken the time to nominate me in other categories, and as Site Director and now a Moderator I'd feel like I was being negligent not to recognise those who have worked hard on the front page and those who have stood out for one reason or another.
As for my own nominations and votes (as in those I received), I simply ended up pleasantly surprised, because last year I think I maybe got one silver and I was nominated in about the same number of categories. I'm not going to be a dick and go "pshah, this means nothing to me" because it does. In the same way that I was pleasantly surprised when I was voted in to staff, I'm kind of delighted that people took the time to vote for me this year - especially in categories like "Most Inspiring" and "Most likely to go the extra mile" because I love this place and it's really fucking awesome to be recognised like that even if I feel like I don't deserve it (not fishing for compliments/ affirmation, just stating how I feel about the whole thing).
So yeah, I can understand the frustration at maybe not being recognised too. I think it's just one of those things, I don't take the awards too seriously, I didn't take them seriously last year either. I was pleased to do considerably better this year, but I really don't think it matters all that much. It's just a fun little annual tradition in our awesome little corner of the internet, and if enough people want to stop it, then let it be stopped - we can always find a new annual tradition to celebrate our members.
Either way, I'm easy (both to get into bed and on this subject).
I'm in a shitty place right now. Since I feel like shit and my self esteem regarding CERTAIN things (not everything) is quite shit, and I feel like I am shit and only spread shit - if you guys value shit, then you're just as shit, meaning if you value the shit that is me, then the awards are pretty valueless since they favour shit.