So, the reviewers at Dengeki went through and gave the Dissidia characters grades. Since this was of great interest at Chaotic Cosmos I sat down and translated all of the scores. The writing in this was really casual so I was okay being a little looser in my translations and had fun getting across some of the humor in this.
Okay, everyone is posted now!
Warrior of Light - 78.3 overall
"Wait, it's a trap!?" - 95
Even though he's the character you want to play as first he still has a high degree of difficulty. You do get used to him after playing. His strongest techniques are actually for when he's directly above or below his opponent.
"Recommended for Advanced Players" - 60
His attacks often move in lines, and because they move slowly, it is hard to land hits on opponents. Advanced players are the only ones who can accurately predict enemy movements often enough to land hits.
"Isn't he the leading man?" - 80
What is up with his EX-Mode only changing the direction of his horns? Seriously. While he might be at the heart of the story, the magic and physics of the other characters seem godly in comparison to his.
Firion - 63.3 overall
"Just like the original game, isn't he kinda bland?" - 55
Because he was almost silent in the original, people find him to be a strange character who is kinda out of it. Furthermore, you can see why other characters call the poor guy "Wild Rose."
"He's strong on the right map!" - 60
Drawing a character near and keeping him close for a sword combo rocks! Since he isn't user-friendly in the air, maps without a lot of open space are hard fights.
"You should be able to fight from a distance!" - 75
His "Blizzard" Brave attack is useful. It has a long range, and some auto-targeting. After that you need to get closer for his HP attacks, and that takes practice.
Onion Knight - 85 overall
"They made him even cuter than the original" - 99
While the NES version had four young heroes, only one could represent them. Still with the job changes and the inclusion of Luneth, doesn't he get treated well?
"It's worth it to collect EX-Cores!" - 80
Since he's so fast it's easy to collect EX-Cores, making earning EX-bursts easy. Plus when it comes to aerial HP attacks, his automatically seek out his opponent.
"'Petit Meteo'" is awesome!" - 85
It can quickly cover distances in a blink of an eye. It is great to watch all the meteors pelting your opponent with the HP attack "Petit Meteo." You can even control the direction with the analog pad.
Cecil Harvey - 86.7 overall
"He's good for beginners" - 85
He's one character, but being both a Paladin and a Dark Knight let you use two different styles. Its simple to switch between styles, letting you use both easily.
"I can master transforming!" - 90
It is fun to transform back and forth between Paladin and Dark Knight. With that ease of use, it easy to keep enemies at bay from mid-range. So beginner friendly!
"Cecil is strong!" - 85
He has that aura as if he had just climbed Mt. Ordeals and found his true strength. And he does have techniques with auto-targeting. Which makes it easy for beginners.
Bartz Klauser - 88.3 overall
"Take the fight to the air!" - 90
He fights like a petal upon the breeze. With his aerial Brave attack "Storm Shoot" and his HP attack "Whirlwind Slash" he spins with both power and grace. Not to mention his wide attack range.
"He is so much fun!" - 80
When you first get in the air, it's handy to draw enemies to you. And he can use the attacks of other Cosmos characters, which is good if you like variety.
"His EX-Burst moved me" - 95
The way that he uses all of the other character's weapons is so cool! I am so happy that the strongest attack in FF5 is his EX-Burst.
Terra Branford - 85 overall
"She's good on the approach!" - 90
Since her ground HP attack has her sliding in right below the enemy's reach. Plus she is also the type to knock her opponent away from her, making her formidable at long distances too.
"She doesn't fit my image of magic" - 85
With Tornado, it's more like Terra is attacking her surroundings, making defense and offense difficult. Someone who uses magic, they need to be vanguards of magic and dreams and romance!
"Is she more delicate than in the original game?" - 80
In the original game, it was surprising but I liked how on top of using magic she could also equip swords and armor and be a powerful fighter, but the image of her in this game as a delicate mage didn't sit right with me.
Cloud Strife - 86.7 overall
"He has so many easy attacks!" - 90
Since there are few oddities with his attacks, he's easy to use and recommended for beginners. With techniques that send characters flying, the real aim is to pile on damage from map collision.
"I almost started with him" - 70
Okay, something about the thwack of an enemy hitting a wall is completely exhilarating. But there are more than a few quirks in his techniques, and even with practice you might not iron them out.
"Here we have the potential of a Wanna-Be SOLDIER" - 100
Just the ease of slamming an opponent into the wall, it is truly exhilarating. His EX-Burst is so charmingly over-the-top that it'll make fans of the original proud.
Squall Leonhart - 83.3
"Is he intended for more intermediate players?" - 80
If you can land the first hit, the the combos you can follow up with are fun. But, you have to get close to your opponent, something that takes work.
"Surprise aerial assaults" - 90
The aerial Brave attack "Heel Crash," is really good for surprising opponents from a mid-range distance. But without practice it is hard to build up your attacks around that.
"Does he just use close-range attacks?" - 80
Really the only HP attack from the start is a close range one. Sometimes it feels like "Lionheart" is the only attack that is really worth it.
Zidane Tribal - 86.7 overall
"First pace in the race!" - 85
Since he is the fastest overall, he can play "Hit & Run" with heavier opponents. Since his defense is kind of low though, you have to be careful while using him.
"He's got a good looking and invigorating set of attacks" - 80
He is just the king of the quick attack. His reach is short, and that seems like such a shallow weakness, especially when you're completely dominating. It's all about how you approach your opponent.
"The O Button Barrage" - 95
Rush in with Brave attacks like "Rumble Rush" and "Swift Attack," because those O button attacks with their auto-target are so user-friendly.
Tidus - 90 overall
"Go Acrobatic!" - 90
But remember that many attacks are hard to predict exactly! Like with Blitzball hits that bounce off the walls. Still he's a character you're likely to master.
"Surprise attacks are so much fun" - 90
Though a beginner player like me won't always guard right, Tidus is still quick enough to make avoiding attacks easy. And his own surprise attacks are easy to pull off.
"The merits of athleticism!" - 90
He is so energetic while running about the field, and his strength while facing opponents makes me think of the original game. And every time you avoid an attack is fulfilling.
Garland - 71.1 overall
"The hand is quick but the legs are slow" - 70
His attacks require a lot of memorization, and you need both initiative and creativity for him. Just swinging wildly is last thing you want to do! And it should be noted that the targeting on his HP attacks are user-friendly.
"He's got slow feet..." - 65
I was so uneasy while playing as him - whatever you want to call it, he's still damn slow. Should I really feel like hiding behind a column when I have a character gliding over me?
"Even hardcore players are puzzled" - 80
He is so heavy with his armor and transforming sword, he moves slowly. But on the other side of things, I would recommend him for hardcore players. The way he drags that sword along is like poetry in motion.
Emperor - 76.3 overall
"Blood Sword users* need not apply" - 69
I guess he's the same guy who tormented Firion. His role as a trap maker in battle is very peculiar though. But, hearing "Ungaahhhh!"** set me at ease.
* Using the Blood Sword is considered to be the cheap way to kill Mateus, so some fans look down on those who followed that strategy.
** Here's something else to know about the FFII Japanese fandom - they love Mateus' death cry. It's like their "spoony bard" line. It's the name of his online fanclub. And it helps that it's far funny than the English version, essentially being romanticized as "Uboar."
"Watch that Flare" - 80
You find that when you have a Flare spell following after an opponent, they're not so bold in attack you. When playing as the Emperor, what some people would call mean instead feels so satisfying.
"For those with the blood of a strategist!" - 80
He has an interesting passive strategy with how he lays out traps behind him. His degree of difficult is top class, but he has his own type of fun. Opponents who try to run away will be slaughtered...
Cloud of Darkness - 85 overall
"Can you get drunk on sexy?" - 100
With that body and Ikeda Masako's voice, she is certainly a sexy character. From the green skin to the tentacles, and how she shoots her wave cannons, she has a high fidelity to the original.
"She's Number 1 in looking erotic" - 80
I really lept at her performance. She was the first one I started really leveling. And when she wins, it's fun to watch her tentacles make that zigzagging motion.
"You notice that wiggle..." - 85
(Sorry, first sentence is eligible) Her techniques change depending upon the timing of your button presses, and it is sometimes hard to find the right rhythm, so practice with her is required. She is for advanced players.
Golbez - 66.7 overall
"Attack rapidly!" - 90
Since he casts off short and long distance attacks at the same time, you can attack without worrying about where your opponent is. He looks tough, but beginners can use him.
"Aim to make fireworks!" - 60
His body his so big it takes up a lot of your field of vision. As it is, his attacks resemble fireworks soaring towards his enemies and bursting in the air, and that is exhilarating. It's just launching them in the right direction that's the problem.
"He's strong when you understand him?" - 50
With so many warping skills and combos, he is a very technical character. Entering his EX-Burst commands can be hard. But, Takeshi Kaga's voice does have that aura of refined masculinity.
Exdeath - 53.3 overall
"Nerve-wracking, totally nerve-wracking" - 50
I was so worried, I had no idea how to fight with him. As far as walking goes, he is so super slow that his skills feel like they're all defensive. If you want to test if you've mastered this game, then use him.
"Walk gracefully dammit!" - 30
His motions are so painful slow. You mainly have to rely upon his countering attacks, so it takes a maniac fan to use him. But he is strong if you master him. ...surely...
"Use him after the second-half of the game" - 80
Yes, he walks slowly, and its difficult to guard, so he is really hard for beginners to use. But, in comparison to the other characters, his EX-Burst is the best.
Kefka Palazzo - 93.3 overall
"He is my character!" - 100
He's so fantastic! How he treats everyone with contempt with his words and actions, I was even floored by the names of his techniques. He's not only funny, but is also a very effective character.
"Surprising and easy to use!" - 90
The paths the attacks take are unique, so you need to have tracking skills to be able to attack easily. I completely adore Chiba's performance, and you should try him out at least once!
"Such a great sense of the character" - 90
Since the same joking manner and techniques from the original game are faithfully recreated here, Kefka fans would be bereft not to use him! He even skips while fighting.
Sephiroth - 85 overall
"Slash, slash, slash some more!" - 80
With his long reach, you need to judge the right distance when approaching your opponent. Though the HP attack "Prison Gate"* is not exactly user-friendly, it does inflict a great deal of damage.
*If you don't remember, this is the official name for the attack he killed Aerith with. Somehow, that made this comment funnier to me because I have a sick sense of humor sometimes.
"He was awkward when I played with him..." - 80
Isn't that long reach unfair!? I guess the attack lag makes up for it. He is a real threat when you're fighting against him, but using him is a different story. He takes a lot of skill.
"For those FF7 lovers!" - 95
In fact just using Sephiroth gives me butterflies in my stomach. Even if it is unavoidable that some people will consider the super-long reach of the Masamune an unfair advantage.
Ultimecia - 76.7 overall
"Even without obstacles..." -75
On a complicated map, her magic tends to run uselessly into walls, and she's not the easiest character to approach your opponent with. She is one that requires elaborate tactics.
"Attacks with a long reach?" -70
Her appearance is glamorous. Her rapid fire attacks feel like a rain of bullets, and I would recommend her for people who want to level a character. She is comparatively easy to use then.
"But she can't beat the Cloud of Darkness' boobs" - 85
She has a lot of long-distance attacks, so she can easily attack an enemy without approaching. However, she is weak in close quarters combat. And yah, she has a great rack.
Kuja - 83.3 overall
"Lots of indecent magic attacks" - 70
Since his magic changes depending upon his distance to the opponent, so you need to be flexible. Since he moves differently than other characters, getting used to him could be a problem?
"He's basically an escape artist?" - 85
He's a character that walks his own path. Since he is always flying around there is no reason to care about "falling." But with a character like this, don't call him chicken.
"Here comes the narcissist" - 95
When a character's voice matches them perfectly it pumps me up while fighting. "Ultima" and "Flare Star" and other techniques from the original game look great here.
Jecht - 91.7 overall
"Charge attacks take courage" - 85
Rushing into close-quarters combat is the heart of his techniques. I want to him to check people into walls. And charge attacks are hot. And you can stop and fight in the air.
"What a mighty good man!" - 100
He's so proactive on the attack - Brave attacks, HP attacks, all do well by him, but you win or lose depending on timing. And incurring explosive amounts of damage feels so good.
"Tough guy motions!" - 90
Powerful attacks are what he is all about, and he is hard for beginners to face off against. But, those manly motions of his are so cool!
Okay, everyone is posted now!
The Warriors of Cosmos
Warrior of Light - 78.3 overall
"Wait, it's a trap!?" - 95
Even though he's the character you want to play as first he still has a high degree of difficulty. You do get used to him after playing. His strongest techniques are actually for when he's directly above or below his opponent.
"Recommended for Advanced Players" - 60
His attacks often move in lines, and because they move slowly, it is hard to land hits on opponents. Advanced players are the only ones who can accurately predict enemy movements often enough to land hits.
"Isn't he the leading man?" - 80
What is up with his EX-Mode only changing the direction of his horns? Seriously. While he might be at the heart of the story, the magic and physics of the other characters seem godly in comparison to his.
Firion - 63.3 overall
"Just like the original game, isn't he kinda bland?" - 55
Because he was almost silent in the original, people find him to be a strange character who is kinda out of it. Furthermore, you can see why other characters call the poor guy "Wild Rose."
"He's strong on the right map!" - 60
Drawing a character near and keeping him close for a sword combo rocks! Since he isn't user-friendly in the air, maps without a lot of open space are hard fights.
"You should be able to fight from a distance!" - 75
His "Blizzard" Brave attack is useful. It has a long range, and some auto-targeting. After that you need to get closer for his HP attacks, and that takes practice.
Onion Knight - 85 overall
"They made him even cuter than the original" - 99
While the NES version had four young heroes, only one could represent them. Still with the job changes and the inclusion of Luneth, doesn't he get treated well?
"It's worth it to collect EX-Cores!" - 80
Since he's so fast it's easy to collect EX-Cores, making earning EX-bursts easy. Plus when it comes to aerial HP attacks, his automatically seek out his opponent.
"'Petit Meteo'" is awesome!" - 85
It can quickly cover distances in a blink of an eye. It is great to watch all the meteors pelting your opponent with the HP attack "Petit Meteo." You can even control the direction with the analog pad.
Cecil Harvey - 86.7 overall
"He's good for beginners" - 85
He's one character, but being both a Paladin and a Dark Knight let you use two different styles. Its simple to switch between styles, letting you use both easily.
"I can master transforming!" - 90
It is fun to transform back and forth between Paladin and Dark Knight. With that ease of use, it easy to keep enemies at bay from mid-range. So beginner friendly!
"Cecil is strong!" - 85
He has that aura as if he had just climbed Mt. Ordeals and found his true strength. And he does have techniques with auto-targeting. Which makes it easy for beginners.
Bartz Klauser - 88.3 overall
"Take the fight to the air!" - 90
He fights like a petal upon the breeze. With his aerial Brave attack "Storm Shoot" and his HP attack "Whirlwind Slash" he spins with both power and grace. Not to mention his wide attack range.
"He is so much fun!" - 80
When you first get in the air, it's handy to draw enemies to you. And he can use the attacks of other Cosmos characters, which is good if you like variety.
"His EX-Burst moved me" - 95
The way that he uses all of the other character's weapons is so cool! I am so happy that the strongest attack in FF5 is his EX-Burst.
Terra Branford - 85 overall
"She's good on the approach!" - 90
Since her ground HP attack has her sliding in right below the enemy's reach. Plus she is also the type to knock her opponent away from her, making her formidable at long distances too.
"She doesn't fit my image of magic" - 85
With Tornado, it's more like Terra is attacking her surroundings, making defense and offense difficult. Someone who uses magic, they need to be vanguards of magic and dreams and romance!
"Is she more delicate than in the original game?" - 80
In the original game, it was surprising but I liked how on top of using magic she could also equip swords and armor and be a powerful fighter, but the image of her in this game as a delicate mage didn't sit right with me.
Cloud Strife - 86.7 overall
"He has so many easy attacks!" - 90
Since there are few oddities with his attacks, he's easy to use and recommended for beginners. With techniques that send characters flying, the real aim is to pile on damage from map collision.
"I almost started with him" - 70
Okay, something about the thwack of an enemy hitting a wall is completely exhilarating. But there are more than a few quirks in his techniques, and even with practice you might not iron them out.
"Here we have the potential of a Wanna-Be SOLDIER" - 100
Just the ease of slamming an opponent into the wall, it is truly exhilarating. His EX-Burst is so charmingly over-the-top that it'll make fans of the original proud.
Squall Leonhart - 83.3
"Is he intended for more intermediate players?" - 80
If you can land the first hit, the the combos you can follow up with are fun. But, you have to get close to your opponent, something that takes work.
"Surprise aerial assaults" - 90
The aerial Brave attack "Heel Crash," is really good for surprising opponents from a mid-range distance. But without practice it is hard to build up your attacks around that.
"Does he just use close-range attacks?" - 80
Really the only HP attack from the start is a close range one. Sometimes it feels like "Lionheart" is the only attack that is really worth it.
Zidane Tribal - 86.7 overall
"First pace in the race!" - 85
Since he is the fastest overall, he can play "Hit & Run" with heavier opponents. Since his defense is kind of low though, you have to be careful while using him.
"He's got a good looking and invigorating set of attacks" - 80
He is just the king of the quick attack. His reach is short, and that seems like such a shallow weakness, especially when you're completely dominating. It's all about how you approach your opponent.
"The O Button Barrage" - 95
Rush in with Brave attacks like "Rumble Rush" and "Swift Attack," because those O button attacks with their auto-target are so user-friendly.
Tidus - 90 overall
"Go Acrobatic!" - 90
But remember that many attacks are hard to predict exactly! Like with Blitzball hits that bounce off the walls. Still he's a character you're likely to master.
"Surprise attacks are so much fun" - 90
Though a beginner player like me won't always guard right, Tidus is still quick enough to make avoiding attacks easy. And his own surprise attacks are easy to pull off.
"The merits of athleticism!" - 90
He is so energetic while running about the field, and his strength while facing opponents makes me think of the original game. And every time you avoid an attack is fulfilling.
The Warriors of Chaos
Garland - 71.1 overall
"The hand is quick but the legs are slow" - 70
His attacks require a lot of memorization, and you need both initiative and creativity for him. Just swinging wildly is last thing you want to do! And it should be noted that the targeting on his HP attacks are user-friendly.
"He's got slow feet..." - 65
I was so uneasy while playing as him - whatever you want to call it, he's still damn slow. Should I really feel like hiding behind a column when I have a character gliding over me?
"Even hardcore players are puzzled" - 80
He is so heavy with his armor and transforming sword, he moves slowly. But on the other side of things, I would recommend him for hardcore players. The way he drags that sword along is like poetry in motion.
Emperor - 76.3 overall
"Blood Sword users* need not apply" - 69
I guess he's the same guy who tormented Firion. His role as a trap maker in battle is very peculiar though. But, hearing "Ungaahhhh!"** set me at ease.
* Using the Blood Sword is considered to be the cheap way to kill Mateus, so some fans look down on those who followed that strategy.
** Here's something else to know about the FFII Japanese fandom - they love Mateus' death cry. It's like their "spoony bard" line. It's the name of his online fanclub. And it helps that it's far funny than the English version, essentially being romanticized as "Uboar."
"Watch that Flare" - 80
You find that when you have a Flare spell following after an opponent, they're not so bold in attack you. When playing as the Emperor, what some people would call mean instead feels so satisfying.
"For those with the blood of a strategist!" - 80
He has an interesting passive strategy with how he lays out traps behind him. His degree of difficult is top class, but he has his own type of fun. Opponents who try to run away will be slaughtered...
Cloud of Darkness - 85 overall
"Can you get drunk on sexy?" - 100
With that body and Ikeda Masako's voice, she is certainly a sexy character. From the green skin to the tentacles, and how she shoots her wave cannons, she has a high fidelity to the original.
"She's Number 1 in looking erotic" - 80
I really lept at her performance. She was the first one I started really leveling. And when she wins, it's fun to watch her tentacles make that zigzagging motion.
"You notice that wiggle..." - 85
(Sorry, first sentence is eligible) Her techniques change depending upon the timing of your button presses, and it is sometimes hard to find the right rhythm, so practice with her is required. She is for advanced players.
Golbez - 66.7 overall
"Attack rapidly!" - 90
Since he casts off short and long distance attacks at the same time, you can attack without worrying about where your opponent is. He looks tough, but beginners can use him.
"Aim to make fireworks!" - 60
His body his so big it takes up a lot of your field of vision. As it is, his attacks resemble fireworks soaring towards his enemies and bursting in the air, and that is exhilarating. It's just launching them in the right direction that's the problem.
"He's strong when you understand him?" - 50
With so many warping skills and combos, he is a very technical character. Entering his EX-Burst commands can be hard. But, Takeshi Kaga's voice does have that aura of refined masculinity.
Exdeath - 53.3 overall
"Nerve-wracking, totally nerve-wracking" - 50
I was so worried, I had no idea how to fight with him. As far as walking goes, he is so super slow that his skills feel like they're all defensive. If you want to test if you've mastered this game, then use him.
"Walk gracefully dammit!" - 30
His motions are so painful slow. You mainly have to rely upon his countering attacks, so it takes a maniac fan to use him. But he is strong if you master him. ...surely...
"Use him after the second-half of the game" - 80
Yes, he walks slowly, and its difficult to guard, so he is really hard for beginners to use. But, in comparison to the other characters, his EX-Burst is the best.
Kefka Palazzo - 93.3 overall
"He is my character!" - 100
He's so fantastic! How he treats everyone with contempt with his words and actions, I was even floored by the names of his techniques. He's not only funny, but is also a very effective character.
"Surprising and easy to use!" - 90
The paths the attacks take are unique, so you need to have tracking skills to be able to attack easily. I completely adore Chiba's performance, and you should try him out at least once!
"Such a great sense of the character" - 90
Since the same joking manner and techniques from the original game are faithfully recreated here, Kefka fans would be bereft not to use him! He even skips while fighting.
Sephiroth - 85 overall
"Slash, slash, slash some more!" - 80
With his long reach, you need to judge the right distance when approaching your opponent. Though the HP attack "Prison Gate"* is not exactly user-friendly, it does inflict a great deal of damage.
*If you don't remember, this is the official name for the attack he killed Aerith with. Somehow, that made this comment funnier to me because I have a sick sense of humor sometimes.
"He was awkward when I played with him..." - 80
Isn't that long reach unfair!? I guess the attack lag makes up for it. He is a real threat when you're fighting against him, but using him is a different story. He takes a lot of skill.
"For those FF7 lovers!" - 95
In fact just using Sephiroth gives me butterflies in my stomach. Even if it is unavoidable that some people will consider the super-long reach of the Masamune an unfair advantage.
Ultimecia - 76.7 overall
"Even without obstacles..." -75
On a complicated map, her magic tends to run uselessly into walls, and she's not the easiest character to approach your opponent with. She is one that requires elaborate tactics.
"Attacks with a long reach?" -70
Her appearance is glamorous. Her rapid fire attacks feel like a rain of bullets, and I would recommend her for people who want to level a character. She is comparatively easy to use then.
"But she can't beat the Cloud of Darkness' boobs" - 85
She has a lot of long-distance attacks, so she can easily attack an enemy without approaching. However, she is weak in close quarters combat. And yah, she has a great rack.
Kuja - 83.3 overall
"Lots of indecent magic attacks" - 70
Since his magic changes depending upon his distance to the opponent, so you need to be flexible. Since he moves differently than other characters, getting used to him could be a problem?
"He's basically an escape artist?" - 85
He's a character that walks his own path. Since he is always flying around there is no reason to care about "falling." But with a character like this, don't call him chicken.
"Here comes the narcissist" - 95
When a character's voice matches them perfectly it pumps me up while fighting. "Ultima" and "Flare Star" and other techniques from the original game look great here.
Jecht - 91.7 overall
"Charge attacks take courage" - 85
Rushing into close-quarters combat is the heart of his techniques. I want to him to check people into walls. And charge attacks are hot. And you can stop and fight in the air.
"What a mighty good man!" - 100
He's so proactive on the attack - Brave attacks, HP attacks, all do well by him, but you win or lose depending on timing. And incurring explosive amounts of damage feels so good.
"Tough guy motions!" - 90
Powerful attacks are what he is all about, and he is hard for beginners to face off against. But, those manly motions of his are so cool!
I'll enjoy playing as him.
