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Don't know where to put this.

Kobato

Pro Adventurer
Since being here, I've never felt like I'm getting along, or fitting in with everybody here. Expect for Serah and Tiff. Instead of making a swan song thread and leaving, I thought it would be better and more mature to ask , what am I doing wrong ? Is there anything I need to do ? Or am I just being paranoid and everything is fine.

My posts rarely get thanked and I see that is a extremely bad thing, because what I'm posting is not up to standard, I see it like getting a F in a test. Also I feel like the more you're liked, the more you're likely to get a thankyou, so I also feel like I'm not that welcome.

So yeah, I came in here looking for some advice on what to do. I know I've screwed up badly on that FF VII topic I made, but is what I'm posting weird or strange ?

Also I suffer from depression, and just posting jokes here will just make me feel worse, so I ask the mods to watch this thread and make sure that nobody teases me on this. Or I'll just feel like worthless shit.

Maybe this place isn't made for me, maybe there's somewhere else that's much better, but I don't know. I can't help shake off these feelings that I'm having right now.

Also if this is in the wrong place mods, I'm sorry and please move it to where you think is correct.
 

Super Mario

IT'S A ME!
AKA
Jesse McCree. I feel like a New Man
WELL for starters I'm not sure how to get along with you, but I'm always an open door for anyone.


Yeah and you're always welcome anytime and anyplace here, its just breaking the ice that's got to be on your part.
 

Alex Strife

Ex-SOLDIER
Try to stop caring about getting thanked. I'm not saying this as a way to attack you; but I think you're missing the point here. You don't want to be thanked, you just want to fit, right?

Then try to just say interesting things! Don't get too obsessed with getting thanked. As long as I'm concerned, I never felt you're not getting along with me, or others in general.

By the way, I used to care about receiving thanks from other users, and I went through a stage where I was worried about it. In the end, I stopped caring. I'm here to enjoy what people write and to add my little something. What if they don't like it? I'll still write what I think can be interesting. Someone's bound to like it, even if they don't click on "thanks", right? So after that, everything became easier for me :D

And to make my point valid, you have my "thanks" here. Hang in there, baby.
 

Octo

KULT OF KERMITU
AKA
Octo, Octorawk, Clarky Cat, Kissmammal2000
Yeah the thanks thing is new to me too. Personally I could do without it, as it kind of lets people be lazy - myself included- so I can just thank a post instead of typing out a proper response.

I understand where you are coming from, and at one point I was a bit obsessed about the thanking thing as some form of validation, but now I don't give a shit.

I don't think anyone should have to try to fit in, who are you trying to impress? We're just a bunch of internet losers :lol: Seriously though try not to worry so much about this.

Does make me wonder about the 'thanks' thing, ACF never had it. I wonder how important it is to people here?
 
Yeah the thanks thing is new to me too. Personally I could do without it, as it kind of lets people be lazy - myself included- so I can just thank a post instead of typing out a proper response.

That's part of the point though. So threads aren't covered in "Ya you're right!" or "That's hilarious!" and "I agree!" type of posts. You can show these things by just thanking the post.
 

Octo

KULT OF KERMITU
AKA
Octo, Octorawk, Clarky Cat, Kissmammal2000
I guess so, but a lot of the time a post is thanked and then there are also responses too. I guess theres a balance to be struck.

Thanks Alex. I was joking about the 'internet losers' thing, just in case anybody was in doubt. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I am a loser. I have proof! :monster:

The thing is, this isn't high school, and we shouldn't be worrying about all that popularity bullshit. ;)
 

Joker

We have come to terms
AKA
Godot
UH OH TIME FOR A CONTROVERSIAL POST

Um...people like you just fine. =/ if people didn't like you, or felt you weren't welcome, then you would KNOW - you wouldn't FEEL that way, you would simply know. Most people here have no problems with making their feelings about other members known - it's not like there's a lot of whispering behind the scenes about who they do and don't like. Granted, there IS a fair bit of discussion about things at the forums, and a lot of the time, it's based on a member's actions - but all of it is things that they have no problem saying to the person themselves.

With that said, the members do tend to cluster together in bands or cliques of friends. While it may seem daunting to make new friends and become part of a group, it's something that happens in the day to day lives of everyone on the planet - nothing new there, then. You just have to out yourself out there. Be yourself, and you'll make friends. Sounds stupid, but it's true.

Lastly, how many thanks you get mean nothing at all. Absolutely nothing. It's not a popularity indicator. It's usually for posts that people find funny, or agree with, or sometimes it's a game relates post with new scans or something. At the end of the day, thanks don't mean anything. If you can believe it, one of the people with the highest number of thanks once left the forum because their posts weren't getting thanked enough :monster:

In the nicest way possible...you're being silly.

PERSONALLY speaking, I like you just fine, though I would like you better if you didn't worry about things like this so much (ironyyy).

Also I spent a good half hour typing this from my phone, because my phone sucks, which one would hope would be indicative of sincerity and so forth.

rl;dr: worry less, come out of shell, have more fun, and to hell with what other people think
 
Speaking for myself, I've often been interested by the things you post, but I tend to forget to thank people, or get so caught up in reading the thread that I don't thank until the end.

I've never had depression, but I've cared for several people very close to me, for a long time, who have. For what it's worth, my gut instinct is that spending too much time on the Internet when you're depressed is probably not good for you; there are too many opportunities for that Black Dog at your heels to read more between the lines than people intended to put there.

But I think the real question is not, do other people want you here (although I'm pretty sure they do), but rather, do you want to be here? Like Octo said, we're not in high school, and this isn't a cafeteria table with a limited number of seats. There's room for everyone, of all sorts. So, if you enjoy visiting this site, and enjoy reading posts, and have things to say, then stay.

I hope you feel healthier soon.
 

null

Mr. Thou
AKA
null
I tend to thank posts where people save me a lot of typing. :monster:

Also, your profile says you've been thanked over 1000 times, I wouldn't say that's rare.
 

Lumina

a pokémon.
AKA
Bayleef, Jessica
Lastly, how many thanks you get mean nothing at all. Absolutely nothing. It's not a popularity indicator. It's usually for posts that people find funny, or agree with, or sometimes it's a game relates post with new scans or something.


This is completely true. I for one thank posts that are funny, or that I completely agree with (Mostly because they are funny) but its not because that person is awesome and is my friend etc. I only thank those posts that I totally agree with.


Ok, so I'll try to sort this out since a lot of people have already posted my feelings.


The thing is, before others liking you, you have to like you yourself. You don't need society (In this case the forums) approval to be yourself. In life, as a whole, you'll get ton of people who will like you and another part won't. Sometimes people don't need reasons to not like another...is just chemistry. And that's something you can just evade because it will happen...always. You need to please yourself before pleasing others because what's important is how you feel yourself instead of how you feel about the rest. No forum or person will tell you how you are supposed to be because in the end, the only person that will have to carry with yourself is you.


I for one, suffer depression and I understand what your going through. But hopefully I had someone that taught me that humans are a world apart. They are raised different, they have completely different ideas, and not all the time they are right. You are the only one who can make them right. For example if your mom tells you "Your stupid" is up to you to decide if you are really stupid or not. If you believe it you will be that's the truth. I don't know what happen with the thread you said but...you should just let it go. What happened is already in the past and I can bet that almost everyone forgot what happened there. People say stuff that not all the time are well liked, but you need to move on and keep being yourself. If you said you were sorry already then that's fine. If people are still mad well...duck them. Its their problem anyways not yours.


I'm new here, I don't talk to a lot of people and I barely know anyone. And my posts not all the time get thanked, but that doesn't mean people doesn't like me. Thanking someone is for different reasons other than popularity (I think) and you should'nt take that as a serious thing. I am just myself, yeah I only talk to like three people (Tiff, Samie and Carla, who's from my country) but I don't see it as a bad thing. I just see it as that I haven't given the oportunity to the rest to talk to. But I'm pretty sure that, if I do, they will give me their awesomeness in exchange.


That said, don't get sad about things that already happened. Don't get mad if you don't get thanked. Just be yourself not trying to fit in, and I'm pretty sure things will look brightly for you
;).
 

Max Payne

Banned
AKA
Leon S. Kennedy,Terry Bogard, The Dark Knight, Dacon, John Marston, Teal'c
Ya ain't doing nothing wrong. You just talk, and get on with your day.

Hell for a while there I couldn't stand bex and tiff, lo how things have changed.
 

Octo

KULT OF KERMITU
AKA
Octo, Octorawk, Clarky Cat, Kissmammal2000
For what it's worth, my gut instinct is that spending too much time on the Internet when you're depressed is probably not good for you; there are too many opportunities for that Black Dog at your heels to read more between the lines than people intended to put there.

Really? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

:lol:

Seriously this is true, I have felt it myself, and not just here. When you're feeling depressed everything is shit coloured, so your judgement isn't trustworthy.

Personally I wouldn't avoid coming online though, because when I'm feeling shitty I tend to avoid real life social interaction and if it wasn't for the internet, I'd be alone in a darkened room chewing my hands :monster:
 

Celes Chere

Banned
AKA
Noctis
My posts rarely get thanked and I see that is a extremely bad thing, because what I'm posting is not up to standard, I see it like getting a F in a test. Also I feel like the more you're liked, the more you're likely to get a thankyou, so I also feel like I'm not that welcome.

Thanking has nothing to do with how liked you are, it's all about if someone sees something you post is:
-helpful
-humorous
-relateable
-inspirational
-etc

As I said before, TLS is not a special club or anything. xD New members show up around here and get along//get thanks a lot of the time without any of us knowing them at first. ( Like Tifabelle or Octo back when they were new ) You're not constantly being judged and we certainly are not grading you. OAO In fact, that whole statement is absurd to me. I'm not sure how TLS has made you feel this way. I mean kay, you made a bad topic one time - oh well. I honestly forgot all about that until you brought it up again now. xD It's not like you outright insulted anyone or anything, and you apologized for the mistake so stop dwelling on it! Because we're not dwelling on it either. xD

And like, if you want to get to know people you have to take the initiative! I really like to get to know new members here, so if I see something I can see we have a common interest in I go to their profile and say something. Or I simply just say "hi, I like your user name" or something like that. Oooor, as an example Catherine is a very new member here, but she showed interest in wanting to watch Tangled so I invited her to Skype with us. Just be more open, don't be so reserved, because unless you're a total jerk you'll find the people you connect with just fine. If you never make the initiative or effort, then you'll never get far! Same applies in real life too. :3

who are you trying to impress? We're just a bunch of internet losers

lol ouch

Hell for a while there I couldn't stand bex and tiff,

I didn't know that had changed. :awesome:
 
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Celes Chere

Banned
AKA
Noctis
^I STILL can't stand you, ugh

Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful~~~

mU9AK.gif
 

Cat Rage Room

Great Old One
AKA
Mog
My grandma always told me that doing your own thing and being honest with yourself while not having any fucks left to give garners you the most respect.

Ya ain't doing nothing wrong. You just talk, and get on with your day.

Hell for a while there I couldn't stand bex and tiff, lo how things have changed.

Case in point; Dacon doesn't give a SHIT what anyone thinks, yet he's one of the most raddest and popular people here.

Aim to be respected, above all else; it's ultimately more important than simply being liked, and that usually comes after respect anyhow.
 

Scias

Pro Adventurer
AKA
Vega, Kyle Hyde
Personally? I think you need to relax a little, I mean, we're here just for fun, to have a good time, really, you don't even need to "fit" in or anything! And actually, the more you worry about it, the most difficult it'll get in the end. In other words, screw all that and be yourself.

From what I can see, you're not doing anything wrong, just think about it: if you were doing something wrong or people here just disliked you then you would know it, one way or another, and that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Thanks aren't that important, not at all. Well, for me they are pretty helpful because I'm learning english and that way I know I'm doing a good job but yeah, don't complicate yourself with that.

TL;DR: You're worrying too much, be yourself.
 

Tennyo

Higher Further Faster
Since being here, I've never felt like I'm getting along, or fitting in with everybody here. Expect for Serah and Tiff. Instead of making a swan song thread and leaving, I thought it would be better and more mature to ask , what am I doing wrong ? Is there anything I need to do ? Or am I just being paranoid and everything is fine.

My posts rarely get thanked and I see that is a extremely bad thing, because what I'm posting is not up to standard, I see it like getting a F in a test. Also I feel like the more you're liked, the more you're likely to get a thankyou, so I also feel like I'm not that welcome.

So yeah, I came in here looking for some advice on what to do. I know I've screwed up badly on that FF VII topic I made, but is what I'm posting weird or strange ?

Also I suffer from depression, and just posting jokes here will just make me feel worse, so I ask the mods to watch this thread and make sure that nobody teases me on this. Or I'll just feel like worthless shit.

Maybe this place isn't made for me, maybe there's somewhere else that's much better, but I don't know. I can't help shake off these feelings that I'm having right now.

Also if this is in the wrong place mods, I'm sorry and please move it to where you think is correct.

Kudos on having the courage to post this. Sharing is the first step to caring. :)

(yes, I know that was lame :P)

Either way, I do have to say that I haven't gotten to know you very well, but that is no indication on you as a person. Maybe come on to IRC for a chat and get to know us all a bit better. IRC can be good times. We'd love to have you there. :)

There's already been a lot of good advice given in this thread. Just don't worry so much. I'm sure no one here dislikes you. :)
 

Alessa Gillespie

a letter to my future self
AKA
Sansa Stark, Sweet Bro, Feferi, tentacleTherapist, Nin, Aki, Catwoman, Shinjiro Aragaki, Terezi, Princess Bubblegum
You know who people hate? People hated Neo Bahamut. People hated DLPB. People hated User Name when he whined and whined for a spam section. You're not in any way hated, it's just that not a lot of people know you that well.
 

Cookie Monster

NOM NOM NOM
We implemented the thanks system to remove the old reputation system which caused problems exactly like this. :monster:

My posts rarely get thanked and I see that is a extremely bad thing
Get this shit out of your head. :monster: It's not a bad thing at all. It all about the content of one's posts. Dacon is consistently posting new material about games, films, and other worldly news. The same goes for Aaron, and many other people here. I wouldn't worry about it.

And by the way, you have 606 thanks with only 476 posts. So, I don't know what you're complaining about. You can't expect to have 15,000 thanks with only 400+ posts. :monster:

Also, your posts per day is 0.93. You're managing less than post a day. You'd probably have more thanks if you were around more often. So, post moar plz. :awesome:
 
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