Y'all act like you never seen a time traveler before
Jaws all on the floor like Nero and Genesis burst in the door
And started retconning shit worse than before
We think they're ignored, but then again, it's Nomura (Agh!)
It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just burn down what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Gast said... nothing, you idiots!
Dr. Gast's dead, he's in Hojo's basement (ha ha!)
Feminist women love Sephiroth
"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Sephy, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
Flippin' the ma-sa-mune," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's goin' on in my mother's holdin' tubes
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But can't, but it's cool for Palmer to drink rocket juice
"My mako's on your lips, my mako's on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a REEEUUUUNNNIIOOONN is
Of course they're gonna know what black materia is
By the time they hit the fourth disc
They start callin' it a Remake now, don't they?
We ain't nothin' but tired tropes—well, some of us, misanthropes
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can beat dead horses and fan's hopes
Then there's no reason that me and another me can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes
I'm Slim Sephy, yes I'm the real Sephy
All you other Slim Sephys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Sephy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Sephy in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up!