Happy Birthday, Lord Noctis. May you enjoy this birthday message as much as I did not in writing it, because you know it is painful for me. I struggle to be sincere. Truth is, if no one posted birthday threads, I wouldn't know a person was having their birthday. There are only three people in my family that could memorise birthdays, and 2 of them are dead now. You may have guessed I'm not the one remaining. I didn't get that gene. So with that in mind, may you enjoy your day.
May it also be without first world problems, let alone those of the third world variety. If you happen to suffer from either on your birthday, may you not feel that I let you down in making such unfulfilled wishes... because wishes - and I'm sorry to tell you this - they have no power over the universe. There, I said it! I didn't mean to spoil it for you, but I don't think it would've been healthy for you to continue believing in them; if you did, of course. If you did, you may have had the suspicion that people were talking about you behind your back and be the butt of all jokes, and you would've been right. Fear not for it shall happen no longer, at least in regard to wishes.