Jason Tandro
Banned
- AKA
- Jason Tandro, Doc Brown, Santa Christ, FearAddict, Thibault Stormrunner, RN: Micah Rodney
Okay we've got fans of puns and dumb jokes on this board a plenty, and another awesome club thread would be a place to just share all this great humor. If a joke is ridiculously obscene, maybe Spoiler Tag it but I just assume these days that if I'm going on TLS, I'm gonna see or read some NSFW stuff 
Side note, anybody read those MAD Magazine switch thingies?
i.e. A smoker's favorite thing is a CIG IN THE PACK
Kermit's favorite thin is a PIG IN THE SACK
What would you call those exactly?
Anyways, on to the jokes. I'll start with a silly one my dad told me growing up.
Bangity Bangity Bangity
Note: this joke as I've heard it is a product of Desert Storm.
A middle-eastern general is talking to his men. They are surrounded by US Troops and things are looking grim. They are low on ammo and provisions and have no air support.
"My brothers, I know things look dire," he said. "But Allah is with us. We must all now pick up sticks off the ground and aim them at the enemies like rifles. Simply go 'BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY' and Allah will strike your enemies down dead."
The men share skeptical looks but the general continues.
"If one gets too close, break your stick in half and use the smaller piece like a knife. Go 'STABITY STABITY STABITY' and they will fall down dead!"
Well the US Army arrives and the men decide they have nothing to lose. One intrepid soldier grabs a stick and shouts "BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!" And sure enough an enemy combatant falls over dead. His comrades seem just as stunned as the US soldiers.
Pandemonium ensues, with the middle-eastern soldiers fighting off the initial wave with sticks until all that remains is one single soldier walking slowly towards them.
"BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!" one soldier shouts.
The soldier is unfazed.
"BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!"
Still nothing. The soldier is now right on top of him. He breaks his stick in two.
"STABITY STABITY STABITY!"
He falls back on the ground.
"STABITY STABITY STABITY!"
But it avails him not and the soldier proceeds to walk over him. The last thing he hears before he dies is the US Soldier saying slowly:
"TANKITY TANKITY TANKITY"
Side note, anybody read those MAD Magazine switch thingies?
i.e. A smoker's favorite thing is a CIG IN THE PACK
Kermit's favorite thin is a PIG IN THE SACK
What would you call those exactly?
Anyways, on to the jokes. I'll start with a silly one my dad told me growing up.
Bangity Bangity Bangity
Note: this joke as I've heard it is a product of Desert Storm.
A middle-eastern general is talking to his men. They are surrounded by US Troops and things are looking grim. They are low on ammo and provisions and have no air support.
"My brothers, I know things look dire," he said. "But Allah is with us. We must all now pick up sticks off the ground and aim them at the enemies like rifles. Simply go 'BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY' and Allah will strike your enemies down dead."
The men share skeptical looks but the general continues.
"If one gets too close, break your stick in half and use the smaller piece like a knife. Go 'STABITY STABITY STABITY' and they will fall down dead!"
Well the US Army arrives and the men decide they have nothing to lose. One intrepid soldier grabs a stick and shouts "BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!" And sure enough an enemy combatant falls over dead. His comrades seem just as stunned as the US soldiers.
Pandemonium ensues, with the middle-eastern soldiers fighting off the initial wave with sticks until all that remains is one single soldier walking slowly towards them.
"BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!" one soldier shouts.
The soldier is unfazed.
"BANGITY BANGITY BANGITY!"
Still nothing. The soldier is now right on top of him. He breaks his stick in two.
"STABITY STABITY STABITY!"
He falls back on the ground.
"STABITY STABITY STABITY!"
But it avails him not and the soldier proceeds to walk over him. The last thing he hears before he dies is the US Soldier saying slowly:
"TANKITY TANKITY TANKITY"
I think I've heard that one before, but here it felt like the first time hearing it. I'm in a giddy caffeinated mood - I'm actually still laughing at this as I'm typing. Thank you!