VOTE FOR ME

[Atticus]

I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! I HAD A DREAM! LAST NIGHT! IN IT MICHAEL JACKSON SANG TO ME. HE SANG "JUST GO FOR IT! GO FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN!"

NO! WHY STOP THERE... I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD!!!

MY CAMPAIGN:

MY POINTS OF RECKONING:

1. All people will pay Atticus $1 for the right to breath and an additional $2 for the right to pee. I give them these rights. All they owe me is $3. Annually. Isn't that fair? I think even the poor people in Africa could afford that.

2. All people with over $1,000,000 in net worth or an annual salary of over $200,000 will be forced to pay the poor children of third world countries.

3. Bill Gates will be my butler.

4. When I say so, Gravity will work in the opposite direction.

5. After I am voted into office, there will be no more votes. People don't have the right to vote. Actually there will be a vote. It will be between me and my dog and it will be once every 10 years. Just to be fair. Can't have idiots getting in to office can we?

6. the world flag will be:

7. There will be no army. Because if we are to be unified, then what the hell would we need an army for... until the aliens come then I'm running for a higher office.

8. Abortion will be aloud, but only if you are willing to pay my dog all your assets, hand over your job, and afford your own right of free agency to my butler. You will be his butler.

9. We will have computer chips that can be inserted into our brains that make it so we don't need further education. We will begin careers at the age of 9.

10. Football in the US will be referring to Soccer. There will be no more 'soccer' it is from henceforth known as football. What was previously known as football will be a sport for swine. Swine will play quarterback. Swine will play runningback. Swine will watch swine play football.

11. Country music will be banned. Its illegal. Its one of the few things that are illegal.

Any questions about the Atticus Presidency?

VOTE NOW!


edit: and if you are really interested in helping us fight the good fight. You can support us by donating money or simply by wearing this signature property of Russel:

 

[Makoeyes987]

You know, sometimes I wonder what your motivation is, making all of these bizarre threads....

 

[Splintered]

I'd never vote for anything that supports Lady Gaga.

I'm going to run your smear campaigns.

 

[CK]

You know, sometimes I wonder what your motivation is, making all of these bizarre threads....

He's atticus he doesn't need motivation.

 

[Cthulhu]

A vote for Atticus is a vote for chicks with dicks, .

 

[Atticus]

But they're hot chicks with hot dicks.

 

[Super Mario]

sure I'll vote for you if you make whatever I do legal.

 

[Atticus]

As long as it doesn't involve killing me. done.

What sorts of things just out of curiosity?

I'm going to run your smear campaigns.

When I get elected, I am going to put you in a room. And in that room there will be a dvd player and a tv. And in that dvd player will be a dvd. And that dvd will be Legally Blonde. And you will have to watch it over and over and over and over and over and over again. Until my term is up. Don't fuck with me.

He's atticus he doesn't need motivation.

And you will get to watch whatever you want and never have to work another day of your life again... if you want.

 

[Russell]

Killing random people wouild be my guess.


I'll vote for you only if you ban all reality TV and have everyone that's ever been on reality TV executed, slowly and painfully.

 

[Atticus]

I'll vote for you only if you ban all reality TV and have everyone that's ever been on reality TV executed, slowly and painfully.

Wow. I can't believe this wasn't on my list. You and I think alike. You will also be head of my analysts if you want the job.

Reality tv is the worst thing since country music. I think the creators of country made reality tv.

In my presidency tv will all have good normal natural plots written in to them. And not idiots doing something on tv that I could do myself.

That and news won't be an hour. Most of news is useless. There will be 5 minute news updates every two hours on important issues.

 

[Alessa Gillespie]

I'd vote for that thing that seemed to be eating Lady Gaga.

 

[Carlos]

I voted for myself to become God of Everything.

 

[Atticus]

I voted for myself to become God of Everything.

And look where that got you.

 

[Russell]

You will also be head of my analysts if you want the job.

I'm in.

 

[Atticus]

You are now my campaign manager and financial advisor. And matchmaker.

 

[Carlos]

can I trim your bushes and maintain your lawn?

 

[DNA]

You have my sword.

 

[Atticus]

can I trim your bushes and maintain your lawn?

Hold on. I'm going to need Russel's say on the matter. He's my advisor.

You have my sword.

Why thank you for doing what you should be doing anyway. You are the best. And what kind of favor do you want after I make the presidency?

 

[Carlos]

 

[Russell]

Hold on. I'm going to need Russel's say on the matter. He's my advisor.

I approve.

Expendable employees can be very useful.

 

[Max Payne]

I miss when Atticus wasn't batshit crazy and annoying.

 

[Atticus]

When was that?

and no soup for you batman.

 

[Max Payne]

Batman is dead.

And you used to be less maniacal.

 

[Atticus]

In your dreams.

Seriously the last time I was serious was when I went by the alias Lone Valentine.

 

[Super Mario]

I miss your old ways...