Member Spotlight #5: Ask Cab anything

[The Man]

This is a new thing we're doing where we give a specific member a thread for a week in which they can share whatever information they want about themselves, then answer whatever questions the public asks them. It's sort of an expansion on the "Let's get to know each other" thread by, well, giving one member the spotlight. More information on the concept can be found here.

This week's participant is Cab, who has elected to share the following information:

Family: Divorced parents whom I suspect are mad. My Mum told me they had divorced over a dinner with my whole school welcoming her to China. An older sister and 2 kids who I try to avoid cos there's a lotta bad blood between us.

Sexuality: Bisexual, mostly lesbian. It changes depending on my needs and the people I meet

Employment: Teacher extraordinaire of English as a Foreign and Second Language. I'm teaching online atm in Britain, but started in China, then Indonesia, Italy, London, Martinique, Cardiff and now online. Also studying a masters in TEFL, due to finish this Sept - I'm kinda proud of this cos I got no degree, it's my first time in uni and so far I've survived

Metaphysical views: Atheist. 100% Go shake your witch doctor bone elsewhere. After one lifetime I need to put my feet up, eternity sounds like a nice break.

Political alignment: I want to say liberal but this is meaning something very different these days. I'm all about the state working together to give everyone a fair shot. I reckon that riches should be capped cos srsly, how much money does a person need?! Sooo, socialist? A lazy one no doubt! And I'm a big ol hippy so any kind of green agenda is cool by me.

Goals in life: Jeez I dunno! Mostly trying to stay sane and have a good time.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a cowboy, but then I did long distance horse riding, which got that out my system.
When I got older I wanted to be a musician and famous and shit, then I was in Indonesia.
Then I wanted to have my own school, did that for a bit in the Caribbean with a friend and did it online with a co-op of teachers. I also took a franchise of 4 schools in Indonesia to a franchise of 6 and did the whole corporate manager thing for a bit

Life goals are overrated; right now I'm working towards getting my PHD in a couple of years for lulz and opening my own online school, my way etc. so I can work from home. Beyond that I'd quite like to do a parachute jump, but fear I lack the cahoonies. Oh I'd also quite like to write a book or something.

(SPOILER) I would really really like to meet someone and lavish all my love on them, but that's complicated eh.

Miscellaneous:
- Excessive tea drinker
- Lazy ass harmonica player
- Recently confirmed diagnosis of bipolar, been 2 years gettin that and still working towards stability.
- Left home at 16/17 but didn't go to uni, I went to Edinburgh at 18 and worked in the sex industry for about 4 years (after that I went to China to teach)
- Have bounced on and off drugs and various addictions, mostly cocaine. But that's all long in the past now.
- I'm good with horses, grew up on a farm.
- I've had many accidents, broke my back, broke my arms 5 times, wrecked the ligaments in my knee, scars, burns, bruises etc I currently have a bruise on my leg from fighting a wheelbarrow - I won.
- I go to London a lot mostly to go ballroom dancing and muck about with my best mate.
- This all makes my life seem a lot more interesting than it really is.
- I'm shit with money and negotiating a good deal for myself at work
- I'm allergic to coffee, gluten & dairy. Also possibly jelly fish.

So yeah, come at me people.

Feel free to ask whatever you'd like. This thread will be up for approximately a week before we move onto our next participant.

[Shademp]

What theme do you think our wedding should have?

What are your 8-bit theme tunes for when you are happy versus when you are sad?

When you say that you'd like to write a book, what type of book do you have in mind?

[Octo]

Can I get in on this wedding please?

Do you have a welsh accent?

Have you ever been to Aberystwyth (sp?) - it's where we got our dogs from.

Top 5 bands and why you love them?

First single/album bought?

Can think of loads more but on my phone atm.

[AvecAloes]

If you had to choose one foreign country to live in for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?

[LicoriceAllsorts]

I am interested in the practicalities.

How did you get a teaching gig in China without a degree?

How can one enroll in a Master's course without a BA?

Was going into the sex industry a conscious decision or was it something you kind of slid into?

How do you feel about non-Welsh speakers moving into Wales? (I really, really love Wales. I have some Welsh ancestors, but too long ago to count).

Feel free to answer any or none of these.

[Joe]

If you were Captain of your own ship, what would you name her?

[Octo]

Last meal?

What was it like doing standup? Did you die on your arse? Or give no fucks? Would you do it again?

How'd you get to be so awesome?

EDIT: If you ever open your online school......giz a job? Go on, giz?

[Ami]

Why are you obsessed with me?

Do you have any words of advice for me you could've needed ten years ago?

How did you get into teaching your students?

Are you ever coming to my flat?

What's the attraction to Yop? Elaborate, I don't see it.

[Omega]

If you were a superpower, which would you be?

Banana or grapefruit?

Do you feel that green is or is not a creative color?

Favorite card in a deck of cards?

What are the odds that you are actually a mummy come back to life for the purpose of finding your lost love/taking over the world with plagues and mummy powers? Who would your Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz be in this scenario?

Do you have a particularly favorite game?

Zombie apocalypse - die, zombie, or survive? If the latter, which survivor are you?

[The Man]

Have you finished the second season of Orphan Black yet?

[Cabaret]

Quotes are gonna drive me nuts!

What theme do you think our wedding should have?

I'd like to say it would be a negotiated thing and compromise would be involved... but I think we both know who's gonna have the last say here.

Ok so money spent on a big wedding is kinda a waste of money imo and I think you'd agree that our love is worth more than blowin it all on one day. So the theme would be 'fear me fabulous' cos people will when we get married and there has to be a hint of evil. We'd pretend to visit the Tate Modern and get married in the Mark Ruthko room. Then scamper off into London to cause mischief. Job done, with free art experienced and a really beautiful place to get married.

Mark Ruthko was my first experience of trippy modern art on a school trip to the Tate. I couldn't figure out why people were looking at the pics then sat down, stared and had a Strawberry fields magical mystery tour moment.
http://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/mark-rothko-1875

What are your 8-bit theme tunes for when you are happy versus when you are sad?

I don't wish to admit that I Googled 8-bit theme tunes. Stop asking me difficult questions!
If I must use this type of 'music' then in the Nokia 3310 tunez:
Happy - Mexican Hat Dance or A Team (ok I programmed those in )
Sad - Tick Tick or Rocket

When you say that you'd like to write a book, what type of book do you have in mind?

I've got a very cool futurey 3 part book in mind where life is very twisted and cruel but the characters in it brilliant. I wrote about 700 pages before the penny dropped that I was giving myself therapy in a big ol metaphor with it! But yeah, future fantasy I s'pose. Something far from the confines of reality.

Can I get in on this wedding please?

Of course, you gotta distract the security with your wiles long enough for the 'I do's'

Do you have a welsh accent?

Nah. I do after I've spoken Welsh, but generally I'm very RP with Welsh intonation. My parents aren't Welsh (Irish and Scottish with a NZ accent) and I guess teaching or travelling killed off what might have been there. But when I get angry/excited/drunk it can slip out.

Have you ever been to Aberystwyth (sp?) - it's where we got our dogs from.

It's my local town. Went to college there, first job there, lived there 16-18.
If you're local you can call it 'Aber' or just 'to town'.

Top 5 bands and why you love them?

Shit I only get 5?

Rancid (and anything any of them have ever done) - Cos, c'mon, every song is gold!! Um I identify with a lot of what they sing about, even though we gots nothing in common

Alabama 3 Sweet Pretty Acid House country music all night long mutha fuckers!! I met these guys, did a song with the guitarist, watched them live tons of times and hung out with them a lot. Conclusion: Don't meet your heroes, they make good music, but the fans are more fun.

Son of Dave - I play the harmonica, this guy does thing to the harmonica that should be illegal. nuff said. I've also met him and partied with him a couple of weeks ago. He's a cool guy, but aside from talking about obscure music, we got nothing in common.

The Cure I dunno why, they play good music and have done forever. And I went to school with Robert Smith's Nephew. And the first coolest boy in the world in my school was into the Cure. And after a billion years they're still fab to listen to.

Love/Hate If you don't know why this is on my list the gtfo. (Here's a hint, they kick assssssss!)


I'm sad that this is all there is. Pls let me add more bands.
Special mention to Skid Row -who I loved like only a teenager can love

First single/album bought?

Europe - Final Countdown. Yeah and it's still a good... ok 'Prisoners Paradise' was far superior and yes I still know all the words to all the songs on that album.

[Octo]

Ok list all the bands you love and why.

[Chloe Frazer]

Can you go into detail about your fight with the wheelbarrow? It sounds very fascinating.

[Alex Strife]

You are an English teacher, just as I am! (technically I am, and I have the qualifications for it!).

Any language you'd love to learn?

Would you like living on the Moon/Mars/etc.?

Random but I'm bad at coming up with questions! (I'm a journalist so I rely a lot on information to do this!) Also I could get too nosy, which I don't want to... but then again, I know Cab's a great woman and she will forgive my asking too much so what the hey:

What has been the best time of your life and why?

Would you actually change something from your past? Ie. doing something differently, or removing a part of it entirely, etc.

[Ryushikaze]

Hello, TLS. I have been appointed as Cab's official question answerer. The nonsense I am about to spout is nonsense and should not be taken as reflecting on Cab in any way whatsover. Unless it is funny to do so. Then go right ahead.

AvecAloes wrote:

If you had to choose one foreign country to live in for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?

Well, while it doesn't get much more foreign than Wales, I'll say Prussia, Circa 7823. There's a crepe shop to die for 100 stories up on the hovervard.

LicoriceAllsorts wrote:

I am interested in the practicalities.

How did you get a teaching gig in China without a degree?

Welsh secrets. Cannot divulge.

How can one enroll in a Master's course without a BA?

Blackmail and/or drugs.

Was going into the sex industry a conscious decision or was it something you kind of slid into?

Onto. The correct phrasing is onto. (Talk about a straight line)

How do you feel about non-Welsh speakers moving into Wales? (I really, really love Wales. I have some Welsh ancestors, but too long ago to count).

There are no welsh speakers. Welsh is not a spoken language. The sounds you hear us speak are actually just gibberish we use as a smokescreen to hide the fact that we speak telepathically with each other. If you practice, you can revive your latent telepathic talents.

Feel free to answer any or none of these.

I shall do BOTH!

Bronn wrote:

If you were Captain of your own ship, what would you name her?

The M.O.D.S. W3R3 60N4 D13.

Octo wrote:

Last meal?

No, I would like another fairly soon, I suspect.

What was it like doing standup? Did you die on your arse? Or give no fucks? Would you do it again?

Funny you mention arse, because that was most of my routine. As for doing an arse again... try and stop me.

How'd you get to be so awesome?

Blackmail and/or drugs.

EDIT: If you ever open your online school......giz a job? Go on, giz?

You will need to supply the appropriate credential, by which I naturally mean blackmail and/or drugs.

Amizon wrote:

Why are you obsessed with me?

Two words. DAT. ASS.

Do you have any words of advice for me you could've needed ten years ago?

When robbing the bank, make sure to wear a mask.

How did you get into teaching your students?

A little wine, a little Marvine Gay...

Are you ever coming to my flat?

Nope. Your erect, maybe.

What's the attraction to Yop? Elaborate, I don't see it.

In a word... Sausages.

Frog wrote:

If you were a superpower, which would you be?

Sheep whispering.

Banana or grapefruit?

Pineapple.

Do you feel that green is or is not a creative color?

I have no time for this question.

Favorite card in a deck of cards?

Biggest Blackest Dick.

What are the odds that you are actually a mummy come back to life for the purpose of finding your lost love/taking over the world with plagues and mummy powers? Who would your Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz be in this scenario?

Very unlikely, as I am a sexy vampire, not a rotten mummy. Also, I'll take Jennifer Lawrence as my Brendan Fraser, and Eva Longoria as my Rachel Weisz.

Do you have a particularly favorite game?

There is this one where I kidnap people and put them into really dumb survival scenarios.... Jenga, that's what it's called.

Zombie apocalypse - die, zombie, or survive? If the latter, which survivor are you?

Survive. I am the one who bursts into song at all the best times.

Bunny Colvin wrote:

Have you finished the second season of Orphan Black yet?

Yes, the part where Black learned her parents were still alive was a shocker, but I wonder where the show will go from here.

Octo wrote:

Ok list all the bands you love and why.

Rubber, Radio, Wedding, Marching.

Melon Lord wrote:

Can you go into detail about your fight with the wheelbarrow? It sounds very fascinating.

Look, that wheelbarrow had it coming but until the matter is settled in court I can't say anything more.