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Old 06/25/2018   #421
f a n c y
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b b cummings AT IT AGAIN o_O

Let the record show that the battle phase of Round 1-11 was initiated by Team Moogle on 25 June, 09:54 GMT.

All players have until...
27 June, 09:54 GMT
...to sway their spectators.

Here's a link to a time zone converter in case anyone needs it.

Best of luck!

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Old 06/26/2018   #422
f a n c y
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Slander and lies!

If Domino was as grubby as my opponent implies, Cloud and crew would’ve been knocked flat on their asses after their first meeting from the smell. He works for the Shinra company, so you know he’s making a decent wage and can more than afford some soap and deodorant. Besides, no one would tolerate him inhabiting the 62nd floor and funking up the place.

Why did my opponent feel compelled to come up with this ridiculous slander?!

Because she knows that the Chocobo Sage is a hopeless case. He’s a decrepit old man heaving in his last lungfuls of breath with an ailing mind and failing health. His beady little eyes aren’t glowing with the wisdom or wit—that’s just jaundice. According to the wiki,

ff wiki wrote: His memory often fails him, to the point where he even forgets who he is or what he is saying.
This is all within the comfort of his own home. Imagine how he would he react if, little by little, he realises that he’s not in his house anymore, but the stuffy, dark, rank interior of one of Shinra’s cargo ships?

This wouldn’t ail him for long! ye cry, For he would eventually forget that he wasn’t home!

Ah, yes… except… he would eventually remember. Then he would experience the terrifying shock all over again, only to forget, and then remember, throwing himself into an endless loop of shock and recovery and shock and recovery until his heart gave out.

And Mayor Domino would be sat across him on the other side of the cargo ship with his arms crossed, annoyed that he’s been dragged away from his office but unphased by Shinra’s heedlessness at this point. He wouldn’t even have to do anything—he’d just stare dead-eyed at the cooky old man in purple stuck in a perpetual loop of shock and heart attacks till the purple stranger stopped moving altogether. Domino would regret that another life has been lost due to Shinra’s tactic, but he’d shrug it off, for it’s the way of the world.

Last edited by f a n c y; 06/26/2018 at 03:56 AM.
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Old 06/26/2018   #423
LicoriceAllsorts
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Who is the Chocobo Sage, what is he? He has a rounded bottom with no legs, seems to float like Bugenhagen, and bears a passing resemblance to the purple creature from the Temple of the Ancients. Is he human? Is he a Cetra? Nobody knows. The secret of his true identity has been closely guarded for many centuries, but I can now exclusively reveal that he is, in fact, a Weeble. And as we all know, weebles wobble, but they don't fall down.

YouTube Video


Yes, the Chocobo Sage has a memory as wobbly as his body, but he won't fall down. Do you think he has lived to be 2,873 years old by being nervous and easily frightened? This - entity - lives all alone in a hut in an isolated, vlakrados-infested valley, his only companion a green chocobo, on whom, presumably, he travels the mountains of the Northern Continent whenever he isn't handing out breeding tips to any rare sojourners who make the effort to seek him out. Such a life is not for the weak or the easily disheartened.

The Chocobo Sage may wobble, but he won't fall down.

We know two things for certain about Mayor Domino
1. He is willing to trade company secrets with random hoodlums:
"You want to get upstairs? I tell you what, if you can guess the password, I'll give you my keycard. Yes, that's it. Guess the password and I'll give you my keycard!"
I mean, the Shinra Manager could tell at a glance that Cloud & Co were hoodlums, but maybe Mayor Domino doesn't get out enough. Maybe he's just not familiar with the mean streets of Midgar.
2. He relies on other people to fight his battles:
"Why would I do something like this, you ask? To mess with them, of course! Shinra's been torturing me forever. That's why I was a little rough on you all just now. Now go up there and really make them suffer."

One could argue that Mayor Domino doesn't fall down either, and that's true. You can't fall down if you never stand up for yourself in the first place.
__________________



<img src=http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx25/licoriceallsorts/smallerfiftyshadesofTseng-1.jpg border=0 alt= />

FIFTY SHADES OF TSENG
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Old 06/26/2018   #424
Ergo
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Doooomino

Doooomino

When the Mayor’s in the crib ma
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
When the ShinRa try to get at you
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot
And if a SOLDIER get a attitude
Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot
I got the Rolly on my arm and I'm pouring Chandon
And I gots the best mako 'cause I got it going on

Uh! I'm a nice dude, with some nice dreams
See these ice cubes, see these ice creams?
Eligible bachelor, million dollar boat
That's whiter than what's spilling down your throat
The Mayor, exterior like a f*cking slayer
The interior like midgar zolom dead red
I can exercise you, this can be your Phys. Ed
Cheat on your man ma, that's how you get ahizzead
Mayor wit the beat, I know AVALANCHE in the street
Wit' the steel that'll make you feel like Chinchilla in the heat
So don't try to run up on my ear talking all that raspy shit
Trying to ask me shit
When the ShinRa fill ya vest they ain't gon pass me shit
You should think about it, take a second
Matter fact, you should take four B!
And think before you fuck wit Mayor Dominooooooooo

When the Mayor’s in the crib ma
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
When the ShinRa try to get at you
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot
And if a SOLDIER get a attitude
Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot
__________________



Deep into that darkness peering,
long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting,
dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
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Old 06/26/2018   #425
BforBrigitta
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cloud and
company
were just being
polite(the chocobo sage may
not be the best
but he is good enough to
not fall down)unlike
mayor domino
both a coward
and unshowered

- b b
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Old 06/27/2018   #426
f a n c y
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If the Chocobo Sage is, indeed, A Weeble, then surely his bones are made of same cheap, flimsy plastic that has broken the heart of baby Fancy many a time *shakea fists*. He lives in his solitude because partaking in regular society is not an option. He’d fall apart. The purple getup he has on now can barely hold his brittle self together even now.

You’ve tried to paint Domino as a stinky fool, but you should go back to school! This smackdown is a matter of the minds! And who would win in this match? The brittle-plastic boned Sage who literally runs out of things that he remembers and can recall to Cloud and Co. rendering himself useless in the corner, or Domino, who clearly is a sharp man who enjoys mental challenges and games, hence why he came up with his password system in the first place. Domino would only need to trick the old wacko into forfeiting the fight. He’d make him sign a paper agreeing to the defeat—it isn’t as though he’d hold on to his wits long enough to remember the terms and conditions.
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Old 06/27/2018   #427
LicoriceAllsorts
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You simply can't defeat the Chocobo Sage. He will forget that you defeated him and that the battle is over. He keeps bouncing back and re-starting.
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<img src=http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx25/licoriceallsorts/smallerfiftyshadesofTseng-1.jpg border=0 alt= />

FIFTY SHADES OF TSENG
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Old 06/27/2018   #428
Ergo
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Are you implying that chocobo save is a glitch in the matrix or some sort of hairy immortal god?

That said in terms of ability to defeat the other in battle we know the mayor is the epitome of disgruntled employee. Don't know about you guys but anytime I do a run-through his word is always BOMB!
Now what does this mean for our lil hairy weeble?
It means while he's out gathering nuts and herbs the mayor is planting enough c4 under his house to make even ruby weapon regret messing with him.

The mayor albeit a figurehead still has access to funds/items, what does the sage have? Nuts and not even the variety that will help him survive because that hair has totally rendered them useless.
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Deep into that darkness peering,
long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting,
dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
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Old 06/27/2018   #429
f a n c y
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HOLD THAT THOUGHT

This marks the end of round 1-11!

Spectators (and the audience!*) have 24 hours to cast their votes (either by posting in this thread or messaging me privately) for the champion that they have been swayed to stand behind. Your judges are...



Clement Rage
Joe
solo player sab

At this time, spectators and audience members are allowed to post their thoughts on the match. Players are NOT ALLOWED to counter any of these comments with new arguments or to continue ‘battling’ in general. Any attempt to do so will count as an automatic loss for your team. Players are free, however, to pay compliments to your opponents and such. ^^

Players!

If you’d like to opt out of participating in the next round, tell me during the 24 voting period.. Otherwise, I’m going to assume you’re still playing and you’re going to be reshuffled into a new team.

In General

If anyone (players, spectators, audience, anyone) has any feedback, questions, or concerns regarding the rules, please post that in the master thread here. It’ll be easier for me to keep track of/find your feedback this way for future reference. Thank you!

Any non-participant who’d like to be shuffled into a team, please say so now.




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Old 06/27/2018   #430
BforBrigitta
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Wow yes what a fantastic and exciting round I was kept at the edge of my seat and as a true spectator of this round I want to congratulate all on a wonderful round however I will have to reward this round's win to the Chocobo Sage for their deft and well-thought arguments I am thoroughly persuaded but brava to all!
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Old 06/27/2018   #431
Joe
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__________________

Reject common sense to make the impossible possible!

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Old 06/27/2018   #432
f a n c y
Default

LOL these last two rounds have been loads of fun and my only regret is that I haven’t had much time to fight for my champions which is a shame given that these recent champs all had oodles of potential. The counter arguments have been cracking me up though. b b cummings last poems, the WEEBLE video. Kudos to my teammate for Snoop Dog remix lmfao.

OMG I am hyped for the dolphin match tho. Idk when it’s coming up but it’s gonna be with this batch-o-nine.

Last edited by f a n c y; 06/27/2018 at 05:32 PM.
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Old 06/27/2018   #433
Joe
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Absolute banter. Both the poems, the idk rap from Ergo and by god that weebl comparison. Some fairly decent arguments made and countered too. Kudos both sides. If I could vote for you both I would.
But I can't so:

My vote goes to Chocobo Sage!

Honestly the Weebl thing had me in stitches. And not like that fake, soundless laughter. I laughed loud. At work. And hell it's damn accurate too.
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Reject common sense to make the impossible possible!

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Old 06/27/2018   #434
f a n c y
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^oh, that's nice


lmfao I pretty much had the same reaction, too, tho. I was in the midst of watching the weeble video and started howling like a maniac. It was just such an absurd, surreal moment taking in that absurd, surreal argument. XD Brilliant.

Can't wait to see if the other judges agree.....
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Old 06/27/2018   #435
Clement Rage
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I wish I knew enough about poetry to give these entries the analysis they deserve. I feel bad about this, because the other side gave good arguments, but I'm afraid I have to make it unanimous and declare Chocobo Sage victorious.
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Octo, and possibly some other people wrote: You should be able to build your side without tearing another down
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