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Old 05/24/2018   #286
BforBrigitta
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FancySycamoreTree wrote: This bullshit

Disgusting
HEY GRANDPA, THE 1850s TELEGRAMMED; THEY WANT SLUT-SHAMING BACK. Trčs uncool. The opposite of a gentleman that respects women, like Joe. Unworthy of being Joe's opponent.

Last edited by BforBrigitta; 05/25/2018 at 12:51 AM.
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Old 05/24/2018   #287
Ergo
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Bforbrigitta wrote: As completely relevant (read: not at all) as the content of the Kalm Traveller's character, curiosity and knowledge are in a physical fight, the sagely old geezer is frail enough to be totally uninterested in a fight.

Look at this face


Spiritless. Dead inside. Old AF. He couldn't give a toot about who wins this fight. He simply knows he wouldn't win, so he wouldn't bother.

Now look at this fiery young lad!


Spunky. Fearless. Determination in his eyes. This is the look of someone who knows how to win, and wins often. If Joe has the physicality to wrangle a Chocobo and ride it into victory, then he sure as hell would know how to wrangle a drooping, limp, flaccid old man. He'd tie that rope right around the old man's arms and secure him tightly in place the way he'd secure a wild Chocobo to its post. Boom. Cornered.

Did you just incinuate that Joe wants to put a saddle on our old man and .......ride him?

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Old 05/24/2018   #288
BforBrigitta
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Ergo wrote:
Bforbrigitta wrote: As completely relevant (read: not at all) as the content of the Kalm Traveller's character, curiosity and knowledge are in a physical fight, the sagely old geezer is frail enough to be totally uninterested in a fight.

Look at this face


Spiritless. Dead inside. Old AF. He couldn't give a toot about who wins this fight. He simply knows he wouldn't win, so he wouldn't bother.

Now look at this fiery young lad!


Spunky. Fearless. Determination in his eyes. This is the look of someone who knows how to win, and wins often. If Joe has the physicality to wrangle a Chocobo and ride it into victory, then he sure as hell would know how to wrangle a drooping, limp, flaccid old man. He'd tie that rope right around the old man's arms and secure him tightly in place the way he'd secure a wild Chocobo to its post. Boom. Cornered.

Did you just incinuate that Joe wants to put a saddle on our old man and .......ride him?

Nothing wrong with wanting what the heart wants. Joe isn't afraid to be himself. He isn't afraid of anything at all, unlike some old geezers out there that don't even know how to be true to themselves. If one can't even be true to themselves, how are they supposed to be a master fighter of Wu-Fu? Just yet another example of fake news. Sad!
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Old 05/24/2018   #289
LicoriceAllsorts
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In fact, our Joe is such a gentleman that in his free time he volunteers his services for the protection of the community... as a firefighter.

He rescues kittens:



He rescues wombats:



Here he is with his heroic firefighting mates. What a team!



How could anyone fail to love this guy?
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Old 05/24/2018   #290
f a n c y
Default just bury me

LicoriceAllsorts wrote: Wow! If this was a fake news smackdown, there's no denying Kalm Traveller would win easy. He sure knows how to doctor photos. Too bad he can't conjure up an elixir of youth for himself. There's nothing sadder than the old geezer who moans, as he's hitting the mat for the third time, "You know, sonny, in my day I could have taken you on with one hand tied behind my back." Yeah, but your day was somewhere in the middle ages, grandpa.
^Speaking of doctored photos! The colour of his face doesn't even match the rest of his body!! Joe wouldn't happen to be friends with Johnny, would he? Riding on the backs of stronger men as always-- or at least, putting his face over them! FAKE NEWS!!


Fancy wrote: Unlike our Joe here….

LicoriceAllsorts is right—Joe is one of the worlds finest athletes. And boy does he know it. He wants *you* to know it, too.

Look at him.


Is all that get-up necessary? A total peacock this one!
LicoriceAllsorts wrote: Jockeys don't get to choose what they wear. They have to wear the colours of their mount's owner. That's their job, just like footballers have to wear their team's kit. Because - that's right - Joe is a pro athlete.

Gold Saucer is the Grand National and the Kentucky Derby of chocobo racing. When you're competing at this level, the quality of the rider matters as much as the quality of the bird.
Who owns Teioh though? According to Teioh's wiki:

wiki, yo wrote: Teioh is the Chocobo belonging to the jockey Joe.
And are we sure that the whole, 'You wear what the mount owner wants you to.' counts here? Why is it that every other rider is indistinguishable from each other except Joe and Cloud?




So it seems he chooses to ride his bird with a loud coat and a friggin' top hat becuse he's nuts and has convinced himself that he looks good in that get-up.


LicoriceAllsorts wrote:
Fancy wrote: Oh, yes, he can be a gentleman—when he wants to be.
How exactly has the old man long learned to keep his cool?
See the above post with that bit about wufu.

LicoriceAllsorts wrote:
Fancy wrote: Joe would demand to know who he is, what are they doing here, and where by the Planet is his assistant?? The older man would look around, shrug, and resume smiling.

Joe would puff once and continue to ramble on trivial shit that annoys him, treating each problem as though it could mean the end of his world. The old man is unphased—he’s lived a long, full life. An overgrown brat isn’t going to shake him now. He’d turn around, observing his environment. Joe would notice…

H-how dare he?? Does the old bastard even know who he is???? He’s J O E.

The young jockey would march right up to him to throw a punch with the old man’s back turned because that’s what bullies and cowards do. Ah, but the old man would sense this and side-step, and scuff Joe’s shoes immediately afterwards.

“HEY!” Joe would exclaim, more outraged at the damage to his new cleats (??) than the fact that he missed his punch. He’d try to hit the Kalm Traveller again and the Traveller remains….wait for it…..Kalm. (badum-tsh). He side-steps and dodges Joes advances until the young man has worn himself out.

“S-stand still and fight like a man, you bastard!” he’d cry, panting for breath. That’s when the Kalm Traveller would raise a brow and decide that enough is enough. He would take a deep breath, bend his knees, ready his hands and WHACK, WHACK. He’d strike his windpipe and the side of Joe’s head, knocking him to the ground. And Joe would be too breathless to stand up and the Traveller would place a single foot on Joe’s head.

Joe would, between gasps, that demand that the bastard gets off of him.

“Admit defeat, and I’ll let you free.” he’d say kalmly.

“Never!” Joe would cry and the Traveller would dig in his heel just a little more.

“Ow! OW! Okay, you bastard! You win! Let me up!”

The Traveller would do just that and, just as he suspected, Joe would try to fight dirty and take another swing at the Traveller again. The Traveller would knock him out, look at him briefly, sniff, then walk away.

DON’T VOTE FOR JOE, JOE! HE’S NOT AS JOEY AS YOU! THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!!
Considering the fact that Joe is widely known as a gentleman, and considering the calm and polite way he handled finding Cloud in the weighing room with his lady-love Ester, one can only applaud the above as a fantastical work of total fiction.

Joe is consulting his lawyer about the slander. Bully, indeed!
He keeps his cool, till he realises he's losin'!

wiki wrote: If the player has a chocobo with less than 120 max speed and less than 450 stamina and enters in a Rank S race, Teioh will be worse than the other computer players. If Joe finishes 3rd, 4th, or 5th, Teioh will hang his head down and Joe will get angry.
Sounds a bit ominous....

Bforbrigitta wrote: Nothing wrong with wanting what the heart wants. Joe isn't afraid to be himself. He isn't afraid of anything at all, unlike some old geezers out there that don't even know how to be true to themselves. If one can't even be true to themselves, how are they supposed to be a master fighter of Wu-Fu? Just yet another example of fake news. Sad!
What proof do you have of the Kalm Traveller being unsure of himself? He was certainly confident in listing what items he’d like retrieved!

Last edited by f a n c y; 05/25/2018 at 03:30 AM.
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Old 05/24/2018   #291
Clement Rage
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You don't just wake up one morning and think. You know what I would love to trade this super rare materia for?? A very specific rose! I don't know where it is or who holds it but I'm certain someone in the world will find this one item I have no background information on.

He asks for these items because he knows what and where they are and who holds them!
If they were all on the most dangerous monsters, you might have a point, but the guidebook is held by a much weaker one. If he knew where they were and wanted them so badly, he'd just give directions.

I contend that the Desert Rose is just a Rose that grows in the Corel Desert -rare and difficult to find, yes, but by not in the possession of Ruby Weapon so much as uprooted by it by chance. The other two items are underwater, likely dropped by the traveller when swimming around somewhere in his youth using his Underwater materia.

In spite of Fancy's photography skills, (Joe did not give permission for use of his image btw), she has found largely footage of Traveller standing in the background. The one fight he's in, he's losing, and clearly about to be flipped over by that overextended arm.

Teioh is mountain Chocobo, and the fight is in a mountain. Home ground.

I feel like it's likely to be a cavalry engagement, at which point Teioh has the Traveller's Chocobo's stats, plus bonuses. No martial arts skills can save you from 800kgs of prime racing bird at full speed.

Edit: Re costuming, obviously the costumes are handicaps. He's so good that he needs to give the others a fighting chance by order of Dio. And CLoud's just not a good enough jockey to understand proper safety gear.
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Last edited by Clement Rage; 05/24/2018 at 09:54 PM.
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Old 05/25/2018   #292
Ergo
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The battle is between Joe and the kalm traveller not Joe his chocobo and the kalm traveller. Of were bringing in mounts I see your chocobo and raise you the kalm traveller actually rides into battle atop ruby weapon.

So far the opposition has revealed startling revelations around their famous chocobo racer.

1. He's a narcissist who's obviously peacocking - it was claimed jockeys can't choose their outfit yet we know first hand that cloud can participate whenever he wants wearing his token purple boiler suit and as my esteemed partner in crime also shown, no other athlete wears a tophat.



2) Joe may in fact be a brony
If Joe has the physicality to wrangle a Chocobo and ride it into victory, then he sure as hell would know how to wrangle a drooping, limp, flaccid old man. He'd tie that rope right around the old man's arms and secure him tightly in place the way he'd secure a wild Chocobo to its post. Boom. Cornered.
What more can we say to that eh?
Kinda speaks to the true value of the man that he looks at an old man and thinks to himself. "You know what he would look great on all 4's with a saddle on his back and a gag in his mouth"




This is hardly indicative to the noble man our opposition previously tried to depict.
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long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting,
dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
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Old 05/25/2018   #293
f a n c y
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THAT’S IT, BETTER QUIT!!

This marks the end of round 1-6!

Spectators (and the audience!*) have 24 hours to cast their votes (either by posting in this thread or messaging me privately) for the champion that they have been swayed to stand behind. Our esteemed spectators this round are...



solo player sab

At this time, spectators and audience members are allowed to post their thoughts on the match. Players are NOT ALLOWED to counter any of these comments with new arguments or to continue ‘battling’ in general. Any attempt to do so will count as an automatic loss for your team. Players are free, however, to pay compliments to your opponents and such. ^^

Players!

If you’d like to opt out of participating in the next round, tell me so now.. Otherwise, I’m going to assume you’re still playing and you’re going to be reshuffled into a new team.

In General

If anyone (players, spectators, audience, anyone) has any feedback, questions, or concerns regarding the rules, please post that in the master thread here. It’ll be easier for me to keep track of/find your feedback this way for future reference. Thank you!

Any non-participant who’d like to be shuffled into a team, please say so now.




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Old 05/25/2018   #294
f a n c y
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Can I just say?

LicoriceAllsorts wrote: In fact, our Joe is such a gentleman that in his free time he volunteers his services for the protection of the community... as a firefighter.

He rescues kittens:



He rescues wombats:



Here he is with his heroic firefighting mates. What a team!



How could anyone fail to love this guy?
This made my day LOL!!!!
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Old 05/25/2018   #295
LicoriceAllsorts
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I love this kind of no-holds barred debating. I particularly enjoy the use of photoshopped fake news images as an argument.
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Old 05/25/2018   #296
f a n c y
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It’s hilarious!! And it’s all you can do, methinks, what with a good chunk of these characters having so little information on them (some don’t even have so much as an article stub). So folks might as well go for it if they believe their ‘fake news’ is plausible enough, haha!
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Old 05/25/2018   #297
BforBrigitta
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Lic's fireman pics made my day too, but for an entirely different reason
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Old 05/26/2018   #298
f a n c y
Default ROUND 1-6: WINNER

The votes are in!

Round 1-6’s Winner is…



VICTORY GOES TO TEAM CHOCOBO


Spectator’s MVP

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*LicoriceAllsorts*:・゚✧*:・゚✧


For the 3rd time! Congrats!



The ‘pool’ that we’re drawing team players from
  1. BforBrigitta
  2. Channy
  3. Clement Rage
  4. Ergo Proxy
  5. Fancy (will spectate or play if neccesary)
  6. Joe - spectating (when he has the time)
  7. InterfaceLeader (on weekends)
  8. LicoriceAllsorts
  9. solo player sab - spectating


We have three more rounds to play before we take a fortnight-long break. Look forward to the next battle post and reroll!
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Old 05/26/2018   #299
LicoriceAllsorts
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The brony videos made me laugh out loud (but at the same time I kind of respected their total disregard for what anybody else would think).

I really think Team Chocobo had the easier job this round. It was a lot harder to argue the Old Traveller's case.

Fancy, I love your arguments! They're so wild and random.
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Old 05/26/2018   #300
f a n c y
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LicoriceAllsorts wrote: I really think Team Chocobo had the easier job this round. It was a lot harder to argue the Old Traveller's case.
Right!? That’s why I tried so hard to assassinate Joe’s character and discredit him as this spoilt jerk. It’s essentially what I did with Johnny, except Johnny actually had some canonical evidence set against him that made the pitch easier to sell.

I might’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for the Joe the Firemen pictures LOL! After that it was like


Clearly, I’m the rando in white.

Bwahahaha but I loved it.

Thanks for the compliment by the way. ^^ Hahaha, no one can say that I don’t try!
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