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Old 05/19/2018   #241
InterfaceLeader
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So we have Johnny, a man in his prime and who grew up in the slums of Midgar -- in Sector 7 no less, right on the edge of the train graveyard. As we all know kids like to sneak into places they aren't allowed, Johnny was probably fighting ghosts and cripshays from the age of eight or so. He clearly has the advantage of being on home ground.

On top of that, he's close friends with Tifa, who no doubt gave him a few tips on self defence in her time.

And he's taking on an old guy who drives a truck? Whose only claim to fame is that he unwittingly delivered Zack to his tragic end?

I think we have a clear and obvious champion here, and it is definitely not the old guy who will spook at the first ghost he sees.






Bring it, Moogles!
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Old 05/19/2018   #242
f a n c y
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YOOOOOO YOU JUST GOT CALLED OUT, MOOGLE!


Let the record show that the battle phase of Round 1-5 was initiated by Team Chocobo on 19th May, 17:58 GMT.

All players have until...
21th May, 17:58 GMT
...to sway their spectators.

Here's a link to a time zone converter in case anyone needs it.

Best of luck!

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Old 05/19/2018   #243
f a n c y
Default Reasons Why Johnny Sucks

InterfaceLeader wrote: So we have Johnny, a man in his prime and who grew up in the slums of Midgar -- in Sector 7 no less, right on the edge of the train graveyard. As we all know kids like to sneak into places they aren't allowed, Johnny was probably fighting ghosts and cripshays from the age of eight or so. He clearly has the advantage of being on home ground.
I’ll admit it, my heart’s beating a little fast right now because I hadn’t expected folks to jump into this battle so quickly, lmfao, BUT GAT’DAMN I LOVE IT!

Too bad this is the start of your demise ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yo, so let’s talk about my main man over here ‘Old Guy’.

A man so mysterious, no one even utters his real name..

You know someone who had the same reputation?



Just another day of being a nameless badass, I guess.

But lemme address this point that my opponent’s made about Johnny being on his home turf. Yeah, Johnny’s managed to live all this time in the Midgar Slums and not meet an untimely death, whether it be by the monsters or a desperate slum dweller. But is that by skill? Or by luck



Let’s take a look at my opponent here. ‘Johnny’ so he calls himself. Here are some direct quotes from Johnny and his cousin, Johnny’s Cousin:

Johnny’s Cousin wrote: I was jes sittin' here drinkin', watchin' the news by myself.
'n' all of a sudden I get kicked outta the &*%$ store. What's up with that!?
I wasn't even done with my drink. I didn't even pay my bill...
Johnny wrote: Woo...... ah geez, I'm blitzed. I jes love them homemade cocktails. But they sure do creep up on ya.
So Johnny boy likes to drink, eh? And that ain’t no thang but a chicken wang! I like to take a sip sip myself every now and then, hey? But how far does Johnny take his debauchery??

Observe this conversation that takes place shortly after the first.
Johnny’s Cousin wrote: There’s a TV in there, but my cheap aunt won’t let me in the house. Look for yourself.
Johnny’s Mom wrote: I’m not opening up. Go away!!
Johnny wrote: Hey!! Open up! C'mon baby!!
It's me! Johnny! Mom!!
Now what kind of mother won’t let her own son inside of the house? Who, in fact, demands that he go away? The kind of mother who is sick and tired of putting up with her grown son’s bullshit!! Clearly this isn’t the first time that poor Mrs Johnny has had to deal with this. Goodness knows how often this has to have happened for her to refuse entry to her drunken, wayward son!

InterfaceLeader wrote: On top of that, he's close friends with Tifa, who no doubt gave him a few tips on self defence in her time.
Does he though?? Or is he too busy getting “blitzed”?

Surely if Tifa, member of AVALANCHE and stout believer in the cause, has suspect that Johnny had any talent in the art of fighting, she’d recruit him immediately? But no. All Miss Lockhart sees in Johnny is a steady customer. Someone’s gotta drink all that alcohol, huh?

Even Johnny’s Cousin will admit to you that Johnny’s got a problem. After Johnny drunkenly slurs on about ‘Goin’ faraway!’ and being a better man before running off, Johnny’s Cousin confides in Cloud saying,

Johnny’s Cousin wrote: I hope he doesn't get hurt.
That worries me the most.
Why is that the first thing that pops into the cousin’s mind? Does this Johnny have a history of getting hurt in his drunken escapades? It isn’t, ‘Oh, that Johnny!’ Or ‘There he goes again!’ It’s ‘Aw, shit, I hope this idiot doesn’t get hurt...’

We see Johnny again later on on the Midgar train, still going on about leaving Midgar.

Johnny wrote: Later... Goodbye... Adios, Midgar!!
Maybe you wanna believe him, dear Spectators. Mayhaps you’re thinking, ‘Johnny’s gonna change. Johnny’s gonna leave that life behind. Johnny is gonna make a new man of himself, just as he said.’

Only you see dude again….HANGING OUT THE FRONT OF THE HONEY BEE INN. Which, for all who don’t know, IS IN THE SECTOR 6 SLUMS! Yup, hmm, still in Midgar!!


He’s the redhead bowing his head in the left half of the picture

Now what does this all demonstrate? A man who dedicates his life to the pursuit of pleasure. The last thing on his mind would be fighting anyone—he’s sooner run up his tab at Seventh Heaven or visit a Honey Inn Bee Girl. It’s comes to no surprise at all that he would choose to live in Costa del Sol, where he can have a permanent holiday. Johnny would see the ‘Old Guy’, sense he was itching for a fight, and, using his knowledge of Midgar’s terrain, duck and weave out of the train graveyard to the actual train station and haul ass out of there!!! Why fight to the death when you can live for pleasure?

InterfaceLeader wrote: And he's taking on an old guy who drives a truck? Whose only claim to fame is that he unwittingly delivered Zack to his tragic end?
Ah! But that exactly demonstrates one of my opponents strengths.

We’ve all seen Zack Fair, right? Tall, muscular, freaky glowing eyes, big ass sword. If you didn’t know that the guy was a sweetie, most folks would be pretty intimidated by him right? Not this ‘Old Guy!’

Indeed, when Zack has the gall to ask, presumably after the umpteenth time, whether or not they’ve reached Midgar, the ‘Old Guy’ replies:

Old Guy wrote: Shaddap! You’re lucky I even gave you a ride!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????

Now this Old Guy is either blind, crazy, or one of the bravest sonavuguns this planet has ever known to be mouthing off to a First Class SOLDIER.

Now we know he ain’t blind because he’s driving the truck, so that leaves either crazy or brave. Either way, this trait will surely be enough to carry him through a fight with scrawny ol’ Johnny and straight to victory so he may continue nonchalantly giving rides to dangerous men. Cuz he. Just. Don't. GIVE A FUCK.


InterfaceLeader wrote: I think we have a clear and obvious champion here, and it is definitely not the old guy who will spook at the first ghost he sees.
Nope! I think I’ve demonstrated quite clearly who the real victor is.

Now I don’t normally like sinking to this level, but I guess that’s the consequence of the age of social media. Nothing is secret anymore.
Just another day at the slum’s police department.

What Johnny likes doing most.

What he does on his days off (not training to fight, obvs).

So much enthusiasm and for the wrong things.

This one just hurts


Last edited by f a n c y; 05/19/2018 at 08:29 PM.
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Old 05/19/2018   #244
LicoriceAllsorts
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Yeah! What they said!
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Old 05/19/2018   #245
InterfaceLeader
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Pfft. You talk a good game, but your argument is as flimsy as Old Guys arthritic bones.

FancySycamoreTree wrote:
Yo, so let’s talk about my main man over here ‘Old Guy’.

A man so mysterious, no one even utters his real name..

You know someone who had the same reputation?



Just another day of being a nameless badass, I guess.
Ahh, except 'He Who Should Not Be Named' doesn't go around being referred to as 'bald guy' now does he? 'Old guy' is not what you call a nameless badass, 'old guy' is what you call the doddery old dude you secretly think should be pensioned off to enjoy his few remaining years in peace.

FancySycamoreTree wrote: But lemme address this point that my opponent’s made about Johnny being on his home turf. Yeah, Johnny’s managed to live all this time in the Midgar Slums and not meet an untimely death, whether it be by the monsters or a desperate slum dweller. But is that by skill? Or by luck
Skill. 😎


Ahh, but perhaps you're looking for evidence? Take this:

Johnny survives the slums. He survives a trip to Wall Market -- presumably battling Hell Houses along the way. And then he takes off to... Costa Del Sol.

He's a poor kid from the slums, there's no way he's getting a helicopter ride, which means he battles his way across the plains, through the swamps -- demonstrating either the patient and skill to catch a chocobo or the badassery to defeat a Midgar Zolom -- all the way through the Mythrill Mines... do I need to go on?

(SPOILER)



Johnny has fought a wide variety of monsters in his time. Let's be honest, one guy two days away from retiring is not going to bother him.

FancySycamoreTree wrote: Now what kind of mother won’t let her own son inside of the house? Who, in fact, demnands that he go away? The kind of mother who is sick and tired of putting up with her grown son’s bullshit!! Clearly this isn’t the first time that poor Mrs Johnny has had to deal with this.
Yep, Johnny likes a drink and he's a bit of a trouble maker - nobody is denying that. But let's look at what his parents say later on:

(SPOILER)



He's high-spirited, yep, and probably not a stranger to the odd bar fight or two -- but he's no alcoholic. He successfully forges a new life in Costa Del Sol, and then starts his own business in Edge - and is successful enough to make a living, despite sending half his customers on to Tifa's place. He could hardly do that if he was drinking his stock now, could he?

No, Johnny likes a drink, but no more than the average high-spirited slum-dwelling teenager. He'll draw on his experience of bar fights, nut the old guy, throw him to a ghost and head home to crack open a well earned beer.




FancySycamoreTree wrote: We’ve all seen Zack Fair, right? Tall, muscular, freaky glowing eyes, big ass sword. If you didn’t know that the guy was a sweetie, most folks would be pretty intimidated by him right? Not this ‘Old Guy!’

Indeed, when Zack has the gall to ask, presumably after the umpteenth time, whether or not they’ve reached Midgar, the ‘Old Guy’ replies:

Old Guy wrote: Shaddap! You’re lucky I even gave you a ride!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????

Now this Old Guy is either blind, crazy, or one of the bravest sonavuguns this planet has ever known to be mouthing off to a SOLDIER.

Now we know he ain’t blind because he’s driving the truck, so that leaves either crazy or brave. Either way, this trait will surely be enough to carry him through a fight with scrawny ol’ Johnny and straight to victory so he may continue nonchalantly giving rides to dangerous men. Cuz he. Just. Don't. GIVE A FUCK.
Or he's wondering why the heck this scrawny SOLDIER whose just rolled out of an experiment tube hasn't called for help from Shinra, noticed the basically comatose 'friend' that he's lugging about, and has only given them a ride because he's too much of a coward to say no. He probably called it into Shinra the first chance he could - after all, he drops them off that cliff and then high tails it out of there, right?

Yup, old guy is a coward and a liar -- and he hides it all below a show of bravado.


FancySycamoreTree wrote: (SPOILER)
This one just hurts

Are you trying to tell me that Johnny, close confidante of Tifa -- who far from tolerating him as a patron, whiles away an entire evening in Costa Del Sol reminiscing over the good times she's had with Johnny to the point that she pointedly asks Cloud to leave her alone with Johnny -- would be friends with someone who wears a 'Make Midgar Great Again' hat?

No, these pictures are FAKE NEWS of the worst and most defamatory kind.

Johnny is a loyal friend, a cheerful and good natured soul who Tifa rates highly and who charmed Aeris (who is an excellent judge of character as we know) into giving him a flower. And more than that, he's a competent fighter, traveller and business owner, with through knowledge of the area -- whereas old guy?

Old guy drives a truck.

But this ain't a truck driving contest now, is it?
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Old 05/19/2018   #246
LicoriceAllsorts
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Is it mere coincidence that Johnny is found in Costa del Sol at the same time as Mukki? The last time we saw him, he was outside the Honey Bee Inn, working up the courage to go inside. I put it to you that Johnny has joined the Young Bubbies club, and that far from battling his way to Junon and across the ocean, he was whisked away there by Mukki. Or are we to suppose that every single person who travels from the biggest city in the world to the biggest beach resort in the world can only do by battling their way across plains and mountains and through Mythril Mines, tackling Zoloms and all manner of monsters?
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Old 05/19/2018   #247
BforBrigitta
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InterfaceLeader wrote: On top of that, he's close friends with Tifa, who no doubt gave him a few tips on self defence in her time.
HAH!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE. Does being close friends with a lounge singer automatically make one the second coming of Frank Sinatra? Does being close friends with Cait Sith automatically make one a smart-talkin' animatronic cat? Being friends with Tifa doesn't mean squat, except that she just tolerates Johnny's unworthy, pathetic ass because she has a thing for broken people. Bet his breath stank too.

You talk smack about the Old Guy but you don't know what his life's been like, you ain't know what he's been through. Those eyes have seen some shit, that body has weathered through physical and emotional hardships. The Old Guy was toughened on the streets and he didn't turn to the bottle like Johnny did; he battled through street fights and moseyed his way into becoming a defending champion of an underground fighting ring, his hardass reputation getting him recruited into the murky waters of Shinra's backend operations and eventually to the position of most trusted transporter for the best of Shinra's SOLDIER First Class. They don't give this position to just any old scrub. They drive the truck but they gotta defend it too—you say that's what the SOLDIER are for, but when they've been transported and all that's left is a truck and all this expensive Shinra equipment, you bet your ass it's the Old Guy that steps up.

InterfaceLeader wrote: Ahh, except 'He Who Should Not Be Named' doesn't go around being referred to as 'bald guy' now does he? 'Old guy' is not what you call a nameless badass, 'old guy' is what you call the doddery old dude you secretly think should be pensioned off to enjoy his few remaining years in peace.
Speaking of bald guys, The Old Guy is, in fact, a veteran of the most respected faction of a legion of badass bald guys.


This mf ain't even bald and they still begged him to join their troupe.




Oh yes daddy! Look at those defined, huge, muscular arms compared to Johnny's skinny chicken bone limbs. Dude's got a bit of a belly on him now but he still keeps that strength workout routine tight; the roads are long and tough.

Face it, Chocolosers, the Old Guy would pummel Johnny and he could do it with his eyes closed. Johnny's drunk ass just insulted his mother and the Old Guy ain't standing for that bullshit. Johnny wouldn't be able to make it up a single ladder or navigate his way out of the train graveyard. He drunk and confused and shit. He'll be left to face what's in front of him, and when the Old Guy's done with Johnny, the boy'll be a sentient puddle of stale beer, smelling of cheap hookers, burnout dreams and mediocre entrepreneurship.

Last edited by BforBrigitta; 05/20/2018 at 03:37 AM.
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Old 05/20/2018   #248
f a n c y
Default Reasons Why Johnny Still Sucks

InterfaceLeader wrote: Ahh, except 'He Who Should Not Be Named' doesn't go around being referred to as 'bald guy' now does he? 'Old guy' is not what you call a nameless badass, 'old guy' is what you call the doddery old dude you secretly think should be pensioned off to enjoy his few remaining years in peace.
Oi, but in my opponent's case, it derives from the impression he makes! He leaves folks so shook, so in awe, that when they are later asked to recall, ‘that big-muscled but extra cuddly bloke who is part of an esteemed club of badass baldies despite not being bald?’

‘I dunno.’ they say, dazed, struggling for the words to capture the sheer aura he emits, forcing them to fall back on easily obtained, simple vocabulary, ‘An Old Guy.’

You know who else was an Old Guy? Mahatma Gandhi. NEXT!

InterfaceLeader wrote: Johnny survives the slums. He survives a trip to Wall Market -- presumably battling Hell Houses along the way. And then he takes off to... Costa Del Sol.

He's a poor kid from the slums, there's no way he's getting a helicopter ride, which means he battles his way across the plains, through the swamps -- demonstrating either the patient and skill to catch a chocobo or the badassery to defeat a Midgar Zolom -- all the way through the Mythrill Mines... do I need to go on?

(SPOILER)



Johnny has fought a wide variety of monsters in his time. Let's be honest, one guy two days away from retiring is not going to bother him.
Oh, come on now! Even Cloud and Crew, all skilled and trained fighters, initially struggle to take down the Midgar Zolom early on in the game together. Are we really supposed to believe that this shrimp was able to handle this monstrosity all by himself when someone with 1st Class SOLDIER strength and know-how, a bruiser, a guy with a giant ass gun on his arm, a half-Cetra, and a whatever-the-hell-Nanaki-is can barely squeeze by on their own skills? Why the heck didn’t Tifa or Barret take notice if Johnny was this impossibly strong? He could’ve been helping with the AVALANCHE effort! They wouldn’t have needed Cloud at all! Cuz apparently this guy is worth about 10 of him!

Did he just not give a shit and chose to waste away his life drowning in women and booze instead of fighting for the Slums and the common man? No! What’s more likely is that he had company. As my teammate LicoriceAllsorts has pointed out.

LicoriceAllsorts wrote: Is it mere coincidence that Johnny is found in Costa del Sol at the same time as Mukki? The last time we saw him, he was outside the Honey Bee Inn, working up the courage to go inside. I put it to you that Johnny has joined the Young Bubbies club, and that far from battling his way to Junon and across the ocean, he was whisked away there by Mukki.
Absolutely!!!

Dearest Specators, I do hope you are aware of who Mukki is? To give you a brief lowdown, he’s a bodyguard. You know, those folks who are generally trained in guarding a target and kicking copious amounts of ass when said target is threatened?

This is him




This is him with his peers



Remember that bit I said about bodyguards protecting a target? Can you guess the name of the target who probably went with Mukki and Crew to Costa del Sol? I’ll give ya a small hint. It starts with ‘J’ and rhymes with Wrongy!

Shameful! Though I suppose it shouldn’t be too surprising to find that Johnny is a freeloader on top of being a drunkard! Ahem. NEXT!

InterfaceLeader wrote: Yep, Johnny likes a drink and he's a bit of a trouble maker - nobody is denying that. But let's look at what his parents say later on:

(SPOILER)



He's high-spirited, yep, and probably not a stranger to the odd bar fight or two -- but he's no alcoholic. He successfully forges a new life in Costa Del Sol, and then starts his own business in Edge - and is successful enough to make a living, despite sending half his customers on to Tifa's place. He could hardly do that if he was drinking his stock now, could he?
I’m entirely convinced that the nitwit must be getting drunk off his own supply if he fails to see that his boasting of Tifa’s (likely superior) establishment is taking his customers away! And I’d hardly call it success… if you ask me, it looks as though it was all put together on a whim (cuz that’s just the kinda guy Johnny is) with Johnny grabbing a bunch of random furniture, putting a fence around it, and calling it a ‘bar’

Business really looks like it’s booming btw.
, naming it after Tifa’s own bar

Wow much original. So creative.
cuz, well, we’ve already established that Johnny is not exactly the sort of person to stand on his own merit.

InterfaceLeader wrote: Are you trying to tell me that Johnny, close confidante of Tifa -- who far from tolerating him as a patron, whiles away an entire evening in Costa Del Sol reminiscing over the good times she's had with Johnny to the point that she pointedly asks Cloud to leave her alone with Johnny -- would be friends with someone who wears a 'Make Midgar Great Again' hat?

No, these pictures are FAKE NEWS of the worst and most defamatory kind.
We all have dirty secrets! I’m just bringing to light one of the dirtiest!

InterfaceLeader wrote: Johnny is a loyal friend, a cheerful and good natured soul who Tifa rates highly and who charmed Aeris (who is an excellent judge of character as we know) into giving him a flower. And more than that, he's a competent fighter, traveller and business owner, with through knowledge of the area -- whereas old guy?

Old guy drives a truck.

But this ain't a truck driving contest now, is it?
Oh, I do believe that Johnny is charming—how else has he been able to get by doing the bare minimum in life? But charm can only get you so far in a fight! As my teammate Brigitta has pointed out, there is a clear physical advantage between the two AND ‘the Old Guy’ holds the distinction of driving a truck. How many times do we see people in this game driving trucks around (that weren’t stolen from Shin-Ra Headquarters)?? LIKE almost no one.

So hell yeah he drives a truck! Because this dude is the real deal! Johnny probably wishes that he knew him a little better to spare him the headache of finding someone new to freeload off of when he wants to settle yet again to a new place.

Last edited by f a n c y; 05/20/2018 at 04:56 AM. Reason: Needed more ass kicking
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Old 05/20/2018   #249
Channy
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Fancy's got this in the bag.

__________________

So, why do you come here?
Same as you, I think. I've been here a lot...
You must have a lot going on your mind, I suppose.
Yeah, but I'd rather have nothing for a change. How do you do it?
Well, it comes with practice. I can think of nothing.
I do not feel the need to occupy my mind with nonsense, just to avoid thinking about what really matters.

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Old 05/20/2018   #250
InterfaceLeader
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Bforbrigitta wrote: You talk smack about the Old Guy but you don't know what his life's been like, you ain't know what he's been through. Those eyes have seen some shit, that body has weathered through physical and emotional hardships. The Old Guy was toughened on the streets and he didn't turn to the bottle like Johnny did; he battled through street fights and moseyed his way into becoming a defending champion of an underground fighting ring, his hardass reputation getting him recruited into the murky waters of Shinra's backend operations and eventually to the position of most trusted transporter for the best of Shinra's SOLDIER First Class. They don't give this position to just any old scrub. They drive the truck but they gotta defend it too—you say that's what the SOLDIER are for, but when they've been transported and all that's left is a truck and all this expensive Shinra equipment, you bet your ass it's the Old Guy that steps up.
What is this mad speculation that old guy drove a truck for Shinra? You think Zack is going to hitch a ride on a SOLDIER transport whilst on the run? No way - Zack is no fool. He picked a broken down farm truck, whose driver reeked of desperation.


Oh yes daddy! Look at those defined, huge, muscular arms compared to Johnny's skinny chicken bone limbs. Dude's got a bit of a belly on him now but he still keeps that strength workout routine tight; the roads are long and tough.

Let's look at Old Guy, shall we?

(SPOILER)


A 'bit of a belly'? The guy is wider around than he is tall! No, an aged obese truck driver who spends all day sitting on his butt driving around in the sun is hardly going to have what it takes to cope in the dark, creepy, dangerous environment of the train graveyard -- and Johnny knows exactly how to make those trains shift about, where to hide, and what's safe to climb.

And we've spent a lot of time exaggerating the amount Johnny likes to drink - but what about old guys past, huh? We know from that belly that the guy likes his food, but what about the other seven deadly sins?

Well, let's see what he says when Zack asks him what he should do with his life!

Old Guy: Young people should try everything!

(SPOILER)


Yes, this is a guy who likes to experiment - with jobs, and probably with drugs and sex. And the fact he's wound up in a crappy job like driving a truck around is testament to those poor life choices.


And as long as we're making a comparison....


(SPOILER)

LicoriceAllsorts wrote: I put it to you that Johnny has joined the Young Bubbies club, and that far from battling his way to Junon and across the ocean, he was whisked away there by Mukki.
FancySycamoreTree wrote: Remember that bit I said about bodyguards protecting a target? Can you guess the name of the target who probably went with Mukki and Crew to Costa del Sol? I’ll give ya a small hint. It starts with ‘J’ and rhymes with Wrongy!
Your theory that Mukki took him to Costa Del Sol is built on pure conjecture and thin air - look at that picture of Mukki and his companions you shared.

Look closely and consider the type of company Mukki likes to keep. It seems to me that Mukki has a type, and I think we can all agree that Johnny - whom you yourself described as a 'shrimp' - is not that type.

(SPOILER)





No, Mukki likes to travel the world and is not short on cash, but his entourage is made up of sporty, muscular, gym-loving guys with a liking for shorts and neatly trimmed facial hair.

NOT slim-and-wiry guys who wear jean jackets with their sleeves rolled up.





Let's take a few minutes and imagine how this battle might go down, shall we?

Old guy: Huh?! Where am I? What's going on?
Johnny: *leaps aboard a train and sends it speeding forward*
Old guy: NOOOOOOO!!!!




Alas, poor Old Guy. He died as he lived - as a passive bystander. Forgotten and unmourned, with nobody even knowing what name to put on his tomb stone.

(SPOILER)





((Also sorry if the images are HUGE I tried to resize them but not sure if it worked o.o))
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Old 05/20/2018   #251
f a n c y
Default




BRING ON THE MEMES

Friendly reminder to players that as of the 20th May, 17:59 GMT, you have less than 24 hours to sway Spectators.

Here's a link to a time zone converter in case anyone needs it.

Keep on keepin’ on!


Last edited by f a n c y; 05/20/2018 at 11:44 PM.
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Old 05/20/2018   #252
Ergo
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Well this is a story all about how our friend named Johnny had his life turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a moment, just sit right there. I'll tell y'all a lol story of how he's gonna win this war.

In sector seven slums born and raised Jonny spent his time just fighting all day.
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool then Jonny started shooting at a ghoul.
When a couple of Turks who were up to no good, started making trouble in his neighbourhood. He got in several big fights and they blew up the plate so Johnny decided to run before the place devestate.
He listened to his dad and then went away he said ya know what I'm off to costa del sol.

He jumped onto a boat about seven or eight and he yelled to the captain "yo man where's the shitter"
Looked out the window he was finally there sitting with chicks breathing in fresh air.


Ahem my contributions to this battle have been somewhat weak so far but let me reiterate what my teammate has stated so far.

We have on one hand a man who has survived in one.of the worst slums of Midgar, knows the terrain of the battle intimately and is known as a fighter.

On the other hand we have a man who if you stuffed an engine up his ass had enough girth he could have driven Zack and cloud all the way to the northern crater. That is if northern crater had a McDonald's.

In a battle between the two our opponent is more likely to collapse trying to climb the stairs into the ring than to put up any sort of fight.
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Old 05/20/2018   #253
LicoriceAllsorts
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We know one thing for sure about the Old Guy, and that's this: he knows how to drive. No, I'm wrong: we know two things about him. He knows how to drive, and he has the balls to drive alone through the monster-infested badlands around Midgar. Now, I've never driven in the Midgar badlands, but I've driven in lion and hyena infested wildernesses, and I sure as hell would never drive alone unless I had some proper mechanics chops to fix my machine if it broke it down. I once had to change a tyre in the middle of nowhere in the Ruaha Game Park, and I'm not an NPC in a video game, so...

Basically what I'm arguing here is that the circumstantial evidence points to our Old Geezer knowing a little bit about engines and motors and so on.

If anyone is going to get in a train and drive it, it's going to be our Old Man.

Johnny, by your admission, can't drive and had to go by foot to Junon, fighting monsters all the way apparently (although we all know who gave him a lift). So what makes you think he could instantly figure out how to drive a train?
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Old 05/20/2018   #254
Clement Rage
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Y'all are impressive.

are we to suppose that every single person who travels from the biggest city in the world to the biggest beach resort in the world can only do by battling their way across plains and mountains and through Mythril Mines, tackling Zoloms and all manner of monsters?
No. Just poor people.

All the evidence of Johnny's troubled drunkenness just adds to his advantages. He has all the hallmarks of a fighter, including arrests for public order offences. If I'm not mistaken, the mugshot has what appears to be a fresh scar on his right cheek, indicating that that arrest was for fighting. All adding to his experience. Maybe not the guy you bring home for dinner, but certainly the guy you want at your back in a brawl.

Meanwhile, 'Old Guy' drives a truck. Given how bad the terrain is, that probably means he lives somewhere like Kalm. He won't be able to fit his truck in the train graveyard, leavbing him facing a younger, fitter, tougher man that knows the territory. Old Guy's fight experience, as implied by the name, was a long time ago, and he's settled into his truck driving job.
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Old 05/20/2018   #255
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If Johnny's the one getting arrested for public brawling, he's the one too injured to run away when the cops arrive. He's not the old guy, he's the other guy - you know, the one who looks worse. Just because a young man gets himself involved in lots of bar brawls doesn't mean he's any good at it. §

I don't know why everyone thinks Johnny is familiar with the train graveyard. He's known to be of a somewhat nervous disposition, and the train graveyard is supposed to be haunted... and it doesn't offer the lures of booze or women. Johnny wouldn't go in there if his life depended on it.
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