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A dragon and a merchant met in a bar. "GAAAAHHHH!" said the dragon and belched out a flame. The merchant drew himself to his full height - which wasn't much. "Love!" the merchant said. "Love vanquishes the dragon! Quick, find me a girl to kiss!" The only two women in the bar looked at each...

That was my typo. Should've been 'he bears no loyalty to Shinra'. Deputy Mayor Hart, on the other hand, doesn't make typos :awesome:

The next president? The only person who thinks he's a contender is the Shinra Manager himself - demonstrating his delusions of grandeur. And that's the Shinra Manager all over. Always overestimating himself and his importance. Nope, he lives in the slums and rides the train to work, he's put...

I think we're forgetting one very important fact here. This fight is taking place in icicle inn. This match doesn't go to whoever can fight, it goes to whoever can fight in the snow. Shinra Manager is a Midgar man through and though. Yes, he does go to Junon, but let's be honest, even that is...

I don't know if this useful, but when comparing software options at work we usually create a spreadsheet with functionality/features requirements and then score the software options out of 5. This gives you a fairly non opinionated winner (as long as you get the functionality list right). So...

I would probably prefer Xenforo. It looks more like forums. Discourse is somewhat confusing and whilst I could probably get used to it, I'd rather not have to.

Have you ever had a fight with a scrappy 12 year old boy? They are quick, they bite, they have sharp knees and elbows, and an inexhaustible supply of energy. Sure, Ester is a bit taller, but even if she does have better coaching skills than we see, coaching hardly translates into physical...

Ester doesn't 'deal with criminals'. She's the pretty face that represents a well-oiled machine. Dyne/Mr Coates is the one who decides who gets to go up to race. And the Chocobo Races themselves are well managed by Dio and his crew (with a little help from Shinra themselves). Ester is the...

Is it Ester who gives out these rewards, or is the Gold Saucer? I think you'll find Ester wouldn't wear Sprint Shoes - they wouldn't match her ensemble. An idiot savant? He runs the vegetable store, selling a wide variety of greens and nuts -- and that means he has a great skill in...

In the left corner...! Choco Billy: the scrappy, farm-hardened, all weather, extremely bright young man who is at the forefront of running the famous Chocobo Farm! Used to wrangling chocobo, seeing off chocobo rustlers, and generally kicking ass. In the right corner...! Ester: the flirty...

It was a slow round (I was on a plane and then jetlagged to death, sorry!) but I think your posting the clip from Rocky Horror Picture Show was a stroke of genius :)

If Noppo was dumb enough to accept a squat-off as the terms of the competition then sure, his love of dancing through time rather than repetitively performing a mediocre bodyweight exercise would put him at a disadvantage. But he isn't dumb, and he'd definitely just step forward a few decades...

No transferable life skills? Have you ever tried to run a hotel? Noppo's dealt with everything from drunk and unruly guests to thieving employees, all without allowing a single moment of stress to interfere with the charming and unruffled service he provides to his treasured guests. We all know...

Let's be honest: Big Bro cares much more about being cute than about winning. All Noppo needs to is offer up a free make-over and access to the Ghost Hotel's extensive collection of wigs, and Big Bro would forfeit in a heart beat. Big Bro wants nothing to do with your testosterone fuelled death...

Right! How can you kill that which has no life? Noppo's not going to be troubled by anything on this realm of existence.

Gratz Moogles :D

Thank you all for letting me join in! I was excited and then I read Fancy's first post and was like .... eeeeeep. Thanks Ergo for your awesome 'Johnny of Bel Air' rap. And to everyone for a very entertaining round of posting.

What is this mad speculation that old guy drove a truck for Shinra? You think Zack is going to hitch a ride on a SOLDIER transport whilst on the run? No way - Zack is no fool. He picked a broken down farm truck, whose driver reeked of desperation. Let's look at Old Guy, shall we? A 'bit...

Pfft. You talk a good game, but your argument is as flimsy as Old Guys arthritic bones. Ahh, except 'He Who Should Not Be Named' doesn't go around being referred to as 'bald guy' now does he? 'Old guy' is not what you call a nameless badass, 'old guy' is what you call the doddery old dude you...

So we have Johnny, a man in his prime and who grew up in the slums of Midgar -- in Sector 7 no less, right on the edge of the train graveyard. As we all know kids like to sneak into places they aren't allowed, Johnny was probably fighting ghosts and cripshays from the age of eight or so. He...