BAWW

[Alex]

That sounds like a quick and painless way to do it, go for it man!

 

[Belmat]

Well she's in work until 12 and I have a friend coming round to my house at 2... So last thing I need is her crying in the corner while I'm trying to watch Spaced and drink beer.

/harsh

 

[Alex]

Spaced is good crack tbf, I certainly wouldn't like to be distracted from it.

 

[Joker]

I know, Mumble! I mean, one week out of four will be fucking agony, but the rest should be sweet.

I hope they're all at the same time. Otherwise shit could suck

Also - welcome! Can't believe I missed this thread before. You seem pretty awesum an' shit, so welcome

 

[Belmat]

Spaced is good crack tbf, I certainly wouldn't like to be distracted from it.

Exactly.

And cheers, Omega

 

[Deleted member 546]

Cohabiting girls always start their periods at around the same time. It's the only downside to lesbianism.
You're giving it an hour to dump her? You getting trashed first?

 

[Alex]

An hour's an awful long time, I'd start feeling icky and awkward after 5 minutes.

 

[Belmat]

Well I intend to dump her in the first 5/10 minutes. The rest of the time is in case I'm feeling generous and decide to comfort her.

Honestly though, I've never broken up with somebody who's quite so fragile before. And she's a really nice girl and all, kind of sucks she's going to feel like shit, but hey ho.

 

[Alex]

Reassure yourself that she'll feel better that you're being honest and not just lying about how you feel about her imho

 

[Belmat]

Well that's the hope. But probably won't feel that way for at least a week, she's got it bad for me
Hell, she put a picture of us up playing darts on Facebook... And commented on it saying:

i may not be good at darts but i was struck by cupids arrow!!

... That is NOT my type of thing.

 

[Alex]

I just steer so completely clear of Facebook its ridiculous

 

[Deleted member 546]

Holy fuck, ditch her before she starts practising her signature with your surname.

AT 24, she should know how much men are bastards. Break her in roughly.

 

[Belmat]

But she's just so fucking INNOCENT. I swear to god. Her username on various places was "Rainbow Showers" and didn't even get any kind of sexual innuendo from it, even after people pointed it out. She even wanted to change her name legally to Rainbow... So her full name would be Rainbow Alcock.
I shit you not. Rainbow Alcock. And she didn't fucking see it!

 

[Deleted member 546]

So she's a lousy shag then?

 

[Belmat]

... Well yeah, she was a virgin before me. Awkward as hell.

 

[Deleted member 546]

I don't know why there's such a hubbub about bonking virgins. Frankly I'd rather have the experienced bed partner. If it's shit then you don't feel bad about saying so.

 

[X-SOLDIER]

Sounds like you've got quite the bumpy little day planned.. :\
First sex & first relationship breakup for her eh?
Best of luck mate.


X

 

[Belmat]

Agreed. It's like Billy Connelly said when he was talking about suicide bombers... "To hell with 72 virgins! Give me two fire-breathing whores any day of the week!"

And cheers Pierce

 

[X-SOLDIER]

I will also look into getting a 360 when I'm not so damned broke, since you'll be having more time on your hands


X

 

[Belmat]

Most excellent. You can be my girlfriend

 

[Joker]

Whoa. How long have you been dating this girl?

And it's her first relationship/boyfriend/whatever?

Damn. I do not envy you your position, sir.

 

[X-SOLDIER]

Olz. You gonna tell her you're breaking up, so that you'll have more time play video games with a guy you met online.


X

 

[Belmat]

Omega: Around three months I think.

X: She'd probably understand that more than the truth with me...

 

[Joker]

If you wanted to be super harsh, you could buy her a copy of He's Just Not That Into You

It'd be one thing if you were like that with her, too...but if she's the only one who's really mushy and all like that, then...yeah, that could be a problem.

 

[Belmat]

I tried to tell her early on that I don't do the whole mushy thing. She said something along the lines of, "That's okay I'll do enough for both of us!"

I should have known then.