Summary: When the ex-SOLDIER sought forgiveness, he found the flower girl. When the martial artist was at her breaking point, the SOLDIER found her.
You Find me Here
The church flowers never stopped blooming. Gold laced with white and green, they reached towards the sky where the sun poured down through the broken rooftop. Resilient to change, they seemed to be, much like the rest of the abandoned church. Sure, there were signs of wear and tear and the weakened wood had an extra creak or two now but, overall, it amazed the girl at how sturdy it was after all these years.
The dust sparkled in the rays of light that managed to sneak in, glittering like little jewels as they floated about, ever so slowly. She looked around, taking in every detail, ensuring that the ruins were indeed abandoned. The place had become a tad bit too popular for her liking after the latest incidents with geostigma. Nonetheless, things had died down now and the church was once again nothing more but a remnant; a part of the past.
She walked down the aisle, light footsteps echoing throughout the eerie silence. She knew she was retracing his steps, knew he had frequented the church often in the past. It was, after all, a place of peace. At the time, it had hurt to know this truth. But now...well, now things were different.
Now,
he didn't know where she was or why she had gone. Now, it was she that found this...
memory, calming and quiet. It was charming how such a small place held so many fond memories, all of them seemingly insignificant and yet, played a crucial part in everything that followed. At first, she hadn't understood. At first, she was jealous and hurt that she was losing him to these memories. But when she had made her visit alone, out of pure coincidence and nothing else, she began to see it.
It was as if the place was untouchable, stable when everything else wasn't. If she had to describe it in a single word, Tifa Lockheart would label the ruins of this church as simply ethereal. Every time she'd step inside, she'd forget what had troubled her so, the very things that had led her there in the first place slipped from her mind. Every time she came inside, the scenery never ceased to take her breath away. And the next breath was always somehow fresher, cleaner. Pure.
She smiled to herself as she reached the mass of flowers that seemed to be thriving joyfully on their own with nothing but the tender sun warming their leaves. She sat down next to them, underneath the soft glow of the sunlight, enjoying the way it kissed her skin. She leaned back against a stone pillar and closed her eyes, clearing her mind of all her troubles, thoughts and worries. There was a sated smile on her face even though she was unaware of it. Here, she needn't worry about the kids; she needn't worry about the man she shared a home with. They were all fine without her at this point in time.
The only thing that mattered now was her-only her. And even herself, she didn't need to fret about; here, Tifa Lockheart was happy. And it was all thanks to
him. As if on cue, her thoughts and memories shifted towards him, the image of his face clear in her mind. She felt his presence before he even spoke.
"Had a feeling you'd come back."
Her eyes remained closed, but her smile grew. Normally, she'd have been annoyed by any interruption but, he had the opposite effect on her. If anything, his spirit seemed to bring out the beauty of the church and add to its peaceful environment.
"Hey, Tifa?"
"Hmm..." She murmured in response, her mind obviously elsewhere.
"What brought you here this time?"
The question was enough to shatter her calm state of mind. The walls he had placed for her were easily breached by his words, causing them to tumble down. All the worries and fears that she had temporarily forgotten came crashing back and Tifa's smile faltered in response. She opened her eyes and now the sunlight became bothersome rather than warming. She squinted and sat up, rubbing at her eyes in an effort to get rid of the black spots she was seeing.
He was behind her now, back to her back, sitting down. His feet hit the pillar but his gloved hands fiddled with a bright yellow flower that he had plucked from the sea of gold, white and green. Tifa didn't speak; she simply stared down at her feet, where the sun no longer reached her form. She was in the shadow of the pillar now and she shivered from the sudden chills and goose bumps that broke out over her flesh.
Even though she hadn't spoken, the man didn't urge her on or push her forward; he let her take her time. Patiently, he waited, mako infused cerulean eyes staring into the bud of the flower he had picked. He knew she'd speak as soon as she had gathered her thoughts.
Deep brown tresses obscured her face, hiding the hurt in her eyes as well as the frown she had been so accustomed to covering up with a smile. But she didn't need to hide here; he already knew. He only asked out of politeness, knowing it would help her to get it out.
"I...I yelled at him today." She mumbled.
"Ah." The SOLDIER relaxed his legs, stretching them out, long and muscular.
He waited for her to continue, knowing there was more. There was always more whenever Tifa Lockheart decided to pay him a visit.
"We fought. When the kids tried to interfere...I, I yelled at them, too. Now they're angry with me. Marlene is giving me the cold shoulder and Denzel...he won't even look at me."
The tears came; she was unable to hold them off any longer. She buried her face into her hands, soft sobs wracking her fragile body. The SOLDIER shifted behind her and she knew he was standing now. His fists sat at his hips in his infamous pose while he waited for her to cry whatever tears there were left. But even he had his limits. He hated it when she'd cry; it reminded him of a certain flower girl who had once dwelled in the church as well.
"Tifa!" He cried, his voice energetic and full of life, something she found deceptive.
Nonetheless, her sobs slowed down at the cry of her name. Her tear streaked face turned in his direction, staring up at him as best as she could through blurry, ruby-tinted eyes. The sunlight was bright and it was difficult to get a good look at him. But she didn't need to see his face to recall the familiar and handsome features.
Hair as black as midnight to his shoulders, eyes so blue that anyone could tell they were unnatural but beautiful nonetheless, a strong jaw line, a straight nose and a small scar that rested on his cheek. Not even death could erase the scars, it seemed.
When he shifted a little out of the light, she noted he was wearing his trademark smile, something she considered to be his most attractive feature. Despite everything, despite losing his very life, Zack Fair would always have one of the most enigmatic smiles she would ever see. If there was to be an embodiment of optimism, it would be him. She could only learn from him, never win against him.
"Remember the first time I found you?" He was still smiling when he spoke, but this time, his ghost like steps ventured into the flowers, not crushing a single one of them.
Tifa sniffled in response but her eyes followed his every move and focused on his strong back in the uniform she was so used to seeing. It was so familiar and reminded her of home and safety; she took comfort in it.
"Yes..."
She remembered. How would she ever forget?
"Aaaaaand what happened then?" Zack asked playfully, still giving her his back.
Tifa looked to the floor again, recalling the time when Zack Fair, deceased SOLDIER, had come to her aid when she was least expecting it. When she needed it most.
"You...you saved me, Zack."
This caused him to finally turn around and look at her, a puzzled expression on his face, dark brows arched in question.
"No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't do anything." He smiled then, shrugging his shoulders, and then continued, "I just gave you a little bit of advice!"
Tifa sat up straighter, her tears officially dried but her sadness still not entirely vanquished.
"But, things were so bad back then. I wasn't...myself. I was giving up and you know it. Nothing was going to change my mind." Tifa argued, once again tormenting herself by recalling old memories buried in the past.
Zack sighed and placed his gloved fingers on his temple, eyes shut in contemplation. He shook his head in a negative fashion but Tifa was no longer paying attention. She was yet again, lost in the misery of it all.
"Tifa, Tifa. Don't you see? Nothing's really changed. You and Cloud are a lot more similar than you think. My advice stays the same every time you come here, Teef. Haven't you noticed?" Zack chided, stepping closer to where Tifa was seated on the wooden floor in shadow.
She didn't meet his eyes even though she knew he was looking at her, desperate to see a reaction of some kind that would maybe help
him help her out of this slump.
"You see, that time, I didn't know why I was supposed to be the one to help you. We weren't exactly close and you didn't typically like me after our brief meeting. Now, don't feel bad about that! I don't blame you for it; your anger was justified." He scratched the back of his head while grinning.
"But, I think I get it now. After all these little meetings we've been having lately, I've finally noticed it...," He paused then, turning around to stare at the buster sword stabbed into the ground nearby before he continued in a softer tone, "They all concern Cloud. And I'm always here to tell you to forgive his spikey-ass because he can be stupid sometimes, too."
Tifa was looking at him now, eyes wide and listening to his every word, taking it all in. She admired this man and had regretted the way she had treated him while he was alive. But she hadn't known back then and he was right; it had made no sense at all when he had appeared to her, claiming to be her guide through this life she was barely trudging on through.
He turned around then, smile gone and eyes more serious as he spoke, "I know it's tough, Tifa. I know that back then, you almost left him. I know he was at his worst breaking point then, too. But you almost left behind everything. And every time you come here, you're looking for me to tell you that it's okay if you stay. That things'll change if you wait it out." He shook his head again and then proceeded to walk towards the buster sword with the flowers strewn around it.
"Thing is, Tifa, I think you can understand it now, too," his masculine features softened as he spoke next, while turning back to look at her again, "Cloud
needs you. If you ever decide to leave him for good, he'd never be the same. And that's why I'm here; to make sure it doesn't happen. To help you see this. Basically, my purpose is to protect Cloud."
Tifa said nothing. She didn't know what to say. Every word that he spoke sounded right, felt right but...she still couldn't grasp it all. It was true that she'd come to him more often after the first time he had visited her, asking for his advice regarding the man who was, after all, his friend. Each time, he'd find a way of cheering her up and making her believe in Cloud again. She'd then go home and things would somehow find a way of returning to normal. She found so much solace in his company, such utter peace, that she began to think she had been simply looking for an excuse to visit
him.
And maybe, he was picking up on it, too.
But back when Cloud had started to alienate himself, Tifa had truly reached a point where she couldn't take it anymore. They would fight all the time but Cloud would remain passive, ignorant of her feelings or the children's. Having been fed up with his attitude, Tifa had contemplated permanently telling Cloud to leave the family if he hated them so much. When that argument began, it seemed there wasn't to be an end in sight, with Cloud storming out of the house and both children crying after him.
Tifa had remained strong in front of them but, when her bedroom door had closed, she had broken down.
Then, Zack had appeared. He had helped her pull through and regain the courage she had thought was lost. With his words in her head, she had picked up the pieces and stuck it out, even when Cloud wouldn't return home. The SOLDIER had left such an impression on her that she found she simply couldn't let go. Cloud may have needed her but she found herself
needing Zack. It was all so strange and yet, at the same time, she had grown completely oblivious and comfortable with this.
She'd argue with Cloud. She'd head straight for the church. Zack would find her and talk it out. Everything was better and she'd go home in a completely different mindset.
Tifa stood upright, taking Zack completely off guard by her sudden movement. Determination was set in her features and Zack caught a glimpse of the woman who had dominated most of his friend's thoughts, even to this day. She truly was quite a woman. Under different circumstances, he could have seen himself being envious of Cloud. But life had a funny way of playing out and, it so happened that he was never given a chance to know the buxom brunette.
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, her brows furrowed while she stared Zack down, the gentle sadness that had become a personality trait as of late, seemed to vanish under her new resolve.
When she spoke, her voice was shaky but still certain; "That isn't the case at all! You say that you're here to protect Cloud, but then why did you come for me? Why did you come to my side when things were going badly for
me? Surely, that doesn't have to do with Cloud! This is about me, Zack! Me!"
She pointed at herself, her finger jabbing into her chest right above her heart. Zack watched her, a soft expression settling on his features. He then folded his arms across his broad chest and cocked his head to the side, dark hair spilling over his shoulder, and examining her with his intense, all-seeing cerulean eyes. They were eyes that seemed to be able to read her heart, not just her soul. It made her inadvertently blush; how much could he see of her at this point? All of a sudden, she felt bare and exposed to his penetrating blue gaze, like he could see through her; see right past the wound that Sephiroth had left for her all those years ago.
"Tifa...I can't..." He started, concern evident in his expression and his posture, his tall frame sagging slightly, as if a great weight rested on his shoulders.
It was her turn to give him her back. She was angry now. But she was also completely unaccustomed to what she was feeling for the spirit of a dead man; a spirit that had been there for her when no one else had come through. Not even her childhood hero.
"Wait for him. Go home, call him. Tell him you miss him. It's all he really wants to hear. As for the kids, you of all people know best how to fix that. They do love you dearly, Tifa." When he spoke, his voice was neutral, offering her the resolution she had initially sought when she had come.
He was right; he was always right. It came with the spirit job description, Tifa concluded. But this time, it wasn't enough for her. She wanted to hear something else; something more. But what? She couldn't pinpoint it. It suddenly was no longer just about resolving her issues with Cloud and her family.
Just as she was about to turn around, about to confront him and launch another assault, he spoke first and took her completely off guard, "...For good reason. They'd all be fools not to."
He scratched the back of his head when he said this and now, he couldn't seem to meet her eyes. To say she was shocked by his revelation would have been an understatement. She hadn't known Zack very well when he had lived. Other than stories she heard Cloud share with her, her knowledge of him was very limited. But after the first time she encountered his ghost, she felt like she knew him; like he was now an old friend and she'd start missing him dearly whenever he'd vanish. Sure, a lot of the time, he allowed her to vent about the problems she had but sometimes, she'd get curious and shift the focus to his past.
It hadn't taken her long to discover that his relationship to a flower girl of the slums had been an intimate one. It seemed that Aerith Gainsborough had quite the impact on many SOLDEIRs. She would never admit to it, but it had made her a little bit jealous. Whether her jealousy was of their romance or simply Zack, she couldn't say and quite frankly, was too afraid to do so anyways. She was afraid of the answer it could yield.
"You should go now, before it gets too dark. He worries about you, ya know?" Zack smirked now, but it was half hearted this time, "I can feel it all the way here; he never stops thinking about you or the kids. More of a reason for you to hurry."
Tifa watched as Zack began to disappear; dissolving right before her. His body became transparent until she was left with only a brief glimmer of his haunting blue eyes, smiling at her.
"...And Tifa?" His voice was now nothing but an echo, yet one she could hear loud and clear, much like the beat of her own heart.
"...I don't ever blame you. Your words have never hurt me. Looking back, I only wish...you were able to really know me."
Tifa closed her eyes, listening to his voice fade away into echoes, ricocheting off the walls in the small church. He may have been gone, but she could still feel his presence there, as if the church embodied him now. The buster sword stood proud and still in the center of the flowers, the fading light of the sun causing it to shine.
Her eyes still closed, Tifa thought of one last question for him, hoping it would reach him but secretly doubting his reply;
When will I see you again?
There was a silence for a while longer but then she heard it, as if he was talking only to her this time, his voice concealed within her, like he was a part of her.
You can always find me here.
Tifa smiled, a calmness once again filling her and she instantly knew it was his parting gift to her. She was ready to go back home, now. She was ready to continue living. With her family and with her memories held dearly in her heart.
-Fin
I was expecting you to be first, actually! 
