namakemono
Rawr
Does anyone have any?
I remember this:
What do you call a green blob of genocidal space pathogen.
A: Sephiroth's mom.
I remember this:
What do you call a green blob of genocidal space pathogen.
A: Sephiroth's mom.
FFVII jokes?
- Thread starter namakemono
- Start date
DrakeClawfang
The Wanderer of Time
"FF7's plot has been remixed more than One-Winged Angel" - Me
"The Compilation's full of more holes than Zack. Let's all just be honest about that" - Not Me
"The Compilation's full of more holes than Zack. Let's all just be honest about that" - Not Me
Celes Chere
Banned
- AKA
- Noctis
That depresses me... and yet, I can't stop laughing.
And, I got nothin'. =P
Ravynne Nevyrmore
that one Lucrecia fangirl
- AKA
- Ravynne
"Is it because he's black?"
Josh Kitsune
Lord of Foxes
- AKA
- Josh Strife, Black Kyuubi, White Kyuubi
I found these two on the internet somewhere. It's been awhile though so sorry if this is your work
[FONT="][/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]Victim #1: Vincent Valentine[FONT="] [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT="]1. Constantly bug him about his complexion, saying that he should have more sunlight.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2. Talk about Yuffie...for hours...and hours...and hours...[/FONT]
[FONT="]3. Tug on his red cape/cloak and cause him to trip over because of it.[/FONT]
[FONT="]4. Ask him what colour he'd like his hair to be dyed...and not taking "I don't want it to be dyed" as an answer.[/FONT]
[FONT="]5. Continuously poke him with a stick, yet when he asks you to stop reply with "Stop what Vinnie?" in your most innocent voice.[/FONT]
[FONT="]6. Ask him why his shoes are pointy and if he got it from a witch’s covenant[/FONT]
[FONT="]7. Imitate him (his walk, how he stands, and every move he makes) and when asked why say "I'm a Yuffie supporter"...then carry on with the imitation.[/FONT]
[FONT="]8. Ask him where he got his contacts from. When he denies wearing contacts, stare at his face constantly.[/FONT]
[FONT="]9. Ask him if he knows where Yuffie is, repeatedly, until he asks why you want to know. Then go silent until he decides to give up and start again, but asking for a different person.[/FONT]
[FONT="]10. Take away all of his guns. When he asks for them back, just insist that toy guns are for babies.[/FONT]
[FONT="]11. Superglue an oven-mitt to his claw and don't let him remove it, insisting that sharp objects are dangerous and should be covered up at all times.[/FONT]
[FONT="]12. Hand him a phone. Then have Barret call him from another phone.[/FONT]
[FONT="]13. Tell him that Yuffie wants her materia back. Ignore him when he denies ever having any.[/FONT]
[FONT="]14. Photoshop an image of him to make him seem like Dracula, then post it over the web and show him...[/FONT]
[FONT="]15.Ask him were he got his makeup done, when he says he doesn’t wear makeup you say...then what skin product do you use...[/FONT]
[FONT="]11. Ask if you can use his phone... .[/FONT]
[FONT="]17. Tie-dye (sp?) his clothes[/FONT]
[FONT="]18. Keep saying "Knock-Knock" to him.[/FONT]
[FONT="]19. Yell "The Demon wants to eat my baby!" whenever he folds his arms...hehe...[/FONT]
[FONT="]Final Vincent Valentine torment #20!![/FONT]
[FONT="]Have a sign put on his back, saying "Point and stare at me". Then tell him that Reeve needs to speak with him in Kalm.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Victim #5: The Great General Sephiroth[FONT="] [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT="]1. Show him a cosplay convention for FFVII and ask the people there what they think of his "costume". Laugh when they call it a botch job and say that they've seen better.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2. ask him how long it took for him to grow his hair...when he doesnt answer or if he does...take out a pair of huge sissors and cut off his hair in one quick cut...lol...and then run for your life..[/FONT]
[FONT="]3. Ask him where he stashes his Masamune. When he tells you that it just appears, ask "why?". Continue to say "why?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]4. Go up to him and show him your sword and then keep on repeating 'my sword is bigger than yours'...over and over again...until he gets mad and then run for your life..[/FONT]
[FONT="]5. Pink barettes and superglue[/FONT]
[FONT="]6) cover him in chocolate body paint and lock him in a pink room with 10 Sephiroth fangirls!!![/FONT]
[FONT="]7) Put hot pink hair dye in his shampoo... proceed then to post pictures on the internet[/FONT]
[FONT="]8. Sing "THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS"[/FONT]
[FONT="]9. Replace Masamune with a toy sword that is made to look exactly like it.[/FONT]
[FONT="]10. Throw him in the midst of a throng of Cloud/Sephiroth fangirls![/FONT]
[FONT="]11. Inform him that his "grey" hair makes him look old. When he tells you it's silver, look at him critically and then say in a calm, serious voice, "You poor guy. Now you're losing your eye-sight too. Old age can do that to you."[/FONT]
[FONT="]12. give him an indestructable furby that won't leave him alone[/FONT]
[FONT="]13.Stalk him in a BARNEY outift and when he looks at you just wave...then keep on stalking him...if this starts to backfire run like hell...[/FONT]
[FONT="]14. Tie his materia to the end of his sword like it was a fishing pole. Proceed to watch him walk endlessly, trying to get to it. (assuming he just holds it at the hilt, could he ever reach it?!)[/FONT]
[FONT="]15.Go up to him and tell him that you know his secret...even though he might not have one or you don't even know it...then keep on saying it over and over again...just repeat 'i know your secret' and if he gets annoyed you know it has worked then run...[/FONT]
[FONT="]16. Tie a pink ribbon in his hair while he sleeps. Take a picture of the evidence. Post picture all over web.[/FONT]
[FONT="]17.cut his hair with pinking shears that are rrreeeeaallllly jagged[/FONT]
[FONT="]18. Continue to tell him that Cloud defeated him when he first went crazy. In that reactor in Nibelheim. And Cloud was just a basic Shinra soldier.[/FONT]
[FONT="]19. Set his hair on fire...[/FONT]
[FONT="]20.Play "One Winged Angel" everytime Seph mentions something about 'MOTHER'. When he stops talking, pause music and act innocent.[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]Victim #1: Vincent Valentine[FONT="] [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT="]1. Constantly bug him about his complexion, saying that he should have more sunlight.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2. Talk about Yuffie...for hours...and hours...and hours...[/FONT]
[FONT="]3. Tug on his red cape/cloak and cause him to trip over because of it.[/FONT]
[FONT="]4. Ask him what colour he'd like his hair to be dyed...and not taking "I don't want it to be dyed" as an answer.[/FONT]
[FONT="]5. Continuously poke him with a stick, yet when he asks you to stop reply with "Stop what Vinnie?" in your most innocent voice.[/FONT]
[FONT="]6. Ask him why his shoes are pointy and if he got it from a witch’s covenant[/FONT]
[FONT="]7. Imitate him (his walk, how he stands, and every move he makes) and when asked why say "I'm a Yuffie supporter"...then carry on with the imitation.[/FONT]
[FONT="]8. Ask him where he got his contacts from. When he denies wearing contacts, stare at his face constantly.[/FONT]
[FONT="]9. Ask him if he knows where Yuffie is, repeatedly, until he asks why you want to know. Then go silent until he decides to give up and start again, but asking for a different person.[/FONT]
[FONT="]10. Take away all of his guns. When he asks for them back, just insist that toy guns are for babies.[/FONT]
[FONT="]11. Superglue an oven-mitt to his claw and don't let him remove it, insisting that sharp objects are dangerous and should be covered up at all times.[/FONT]
[FONT="]12. Hand him a phone. Then have Barret call him from another phone.[/FONT]
[FONT="]13. Tell him that Yuffie wants her materia back. Ignore him when he denies ever having any.[/FONT]
[FONT="]14. Photoshop an image of him to make him seem like Dracula, then post it over the web and show him...[/FONT]
[FONT="]15.Ask him were he got his makeup done, when he says he doesn’t wear makeup you say...then what skin product do you use...[/FONT]
[FONT="]11. Ask if you can use his phone... .[/FONT]
[FONT="]17. Tie-dye (sp?) his clothes[/FONT]
[FONT="]18. Keep saying "Knock-Knock" to him.[/FONT]
[FONT="]19. Yell "The Demon wants to eat my baby!" whenever he folds his arms...hehe...[/FONT]
[FONT="]Final Vincent Valentine torment #20!![/FONT]
[FONT="]Have a sign put on his back, saying "Point and stare at me". Then tell him that Reeve needs to speak with him in Kalm.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Victim #5: The Great General Sephiroth[FONT="] [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT="]1. Show him a cosplay convention for FFVII and ask the people there what they think of his "costume". Laugh when they call it a botch job and say that they've seen better.[/FONT]
[FONT="]2. ask him how long it took for him to grow his hair...when he doesnt answer or if he does...take out a pair of huge sissors and cut off his hair in one quick cut...lol...and then run for your life..[/FONT]
[FONT="]3. Ask him where he stashes his Masamune. When he tells you that it just appears, ask "why?". Continue to say "why?"[/FONT]
[FONT="]4. Go up to him and show him your sword and then keep on repeating 'my sword is bigger than yours'...over and over again...until he gets mad and then run for your life..[/FONT]
[FONT="]5. Pink barettes and superglue[/FONT]
[FONT="]6) cover him in chocolate body paint and lock him in a pink room with 10 Sephiroth fangirls!!![/FONT]
[FONT="]7) Put hot pink hair dye in his shampoo... proceed then to post pictures on the internet[/FONT]
[FONT="]8. Sing "THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS"[/FONT]
[FONT="]9. Replace Masamune with a toy sword that is made to look exactly like it.[/FONT]
[FONT="]10. Throw him in the midst of a throng of Cloud/Sephiroth fangirls![/FONT]
[FONT="]11. Inform him that his "grey" hair makes him look old. When he tells you it's silver, look at him critically and then say in a calm, serious voice, "You poor guy. Now you're losing your eye-sight too. Old age can do that to you."[/FONT]
[FONT="]12. give him an indestructable furby that won't leave him alone[/FONT]
[FONT="]13.Stalk him in a BARNEY outift and when he looks at you just wave...then keep on stalking him...if this starts to backfire run like hell...[/FONT]
[FONT="]14. Tie his materia to the end of his sword like it was a fishing pole. Proceed to watch him walk endlessly, trying to get to it. (assuming he just holds it at the hilt, could he ever reach it?!)[/FONT]
[FONT="]15.Go up to him and tell him that you know his secret...even though he might not have one or you don't even know it...then keep on saying it over and over again...just repeat 'i know your secret' and if he gets annoyed you know it has worked then run...[/FONT]
[FONT="]16. Tie a pink ribbon in his hair while he sleeps. Take a picture of the evidence. Post picture all over web.[/FONT]
[FONT="]17.cut his hair with pinking shears that are rrreeeeaallllly jagged[/FONT]
[FONT="]18. Continue to tell him that Cloud defeated him when he first went crazy. In that reactor in Nibelheim. And Cloud was just a basic Shinra soldier.[/FONT]
[FONT="]19. Set his hair on fire...[/FONT]
[FONT="]20.Play "One Winged Angel" everytime Seph mentions something about 'MOTHER'. When he stops talking, pause music and act innocent.[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
Mirenheart
Member of Qhimm
Something serious
Terrible, isn't it?
Terrible, isn't it?
Max Caulfield
shaka brah
- AKA
- Chi, Trollzaya, Dean Winchester, Black Widow
Something serious
Terrible, isn't it?
It is terrible... because I can't see anything.
:/
robotwarui
kraplach
- AKA
- badrobot
kinda weak, i will work on strengthening/perfecting these and brainstorming some more 'cuz it's fun ..... BTW, how do I hide the answer under a "click me" without creating a hyperlink to another location?
Why didn’t Cid dump Shera?
--He still needs her to get high
What would Cloud do if Scarlett came after him with the Masamune?
-- Buster sword.
What does Cloud have that Cameron Diaz does not?
-- On-demand lifetime supply of free hair gel.
Why didn’t Cid dump Shera?
--He still needs her to get high
What would Cloud do if Scarlett came after him with the Masamune?
-- Buster sword.
What does Cloud have that Cameron Diaz does not?
-- On-demand lifetime supply of free hair gel.
robotwarui
kraplach
- AKA
- badrobot
Before anybody misinterprets, in my last post I meant to say MY jokes are kinda weak. I want to produce some heavy-hitters!
Maybe y'all can help me.
Take your best shot at answering this question:
Why did the chocobo cross the road?
Maybe y'all can help me.
Take your best shot at answering this question:
Why did the chocobo cross the road?
LicoriceAllsorts
Donator
ForceStealer
Double Growth
Shademp
420
FFVII jokes? Okay. 
*Yuffie after capturing Cloud & Co*
Yuffie
"You want your materia? Then go find it yourself!"
"Yeah that's right. And when you're looking for the materia,
remember you gotta steel it."
"Heh heh... steel... steel! Get it?"
"C ya!"
...Yeah, I think Yuffie's joke got lost in translation. =/
Edit: We need to get the Hito equivalent of the "Bat Signal" for Hito.
*Yuffie after capturing Cloud & Co*
Yuffie
"You want your materia? Then go find it yourself!"
"Yeah that's right. And when you're looking for the materia,
remember you gotta steel it."
"Heh heh... steel... steel! Get it?"
"C ya!"
...Yeah, I think Yuffie's joke got lost in translation. =/
Edit: We need to get the Hito equivalent of the "Bat Signal" for Hito.
Last edited:
ForceStealer
Double Growth
You know...what DOES she say there? Obviously that pun wouldn't exist in Japanese.
Oh hito~~~!
Oh hito~~~!
Shademp
420
(Comedian in Rocket Town)
“Uh, now, let's see,
how did it go?”
[New Box]
“…'He's crude an' a jerk'…[Code: Pause]
I mean,
He's 'Rude of the Turks'!”
...
“'President Rufus, lathers Tantrics'…[Code: Pause]
Uh, I mean…
'President Rufus, gathers mechanics'…”
[New Box]
“'Raunchy meat, a pocket full, at the cafeteria'.
Uh, I mean…
'Launch a beat up rocket full of Materia'.”
[Cid]
“And I thought it might be fun to hear some of
your stupid puns again for old times sake…
my mistake.”
(Comedian)
“Oh, 'crap-again'(oh, captain).”
*Cid punches him*
...
“Uh, now, let's see,
how did it go?”
[New Box]
“…'He's crude an' a jerk'…[Code: Pause]
I mean,
He's 'Rude of the Turks'!”
...
“'President Rufus, lathers Tantrics'…[Code: Pause]
Uh, I mean…
'President Rufus, gathers mechanics'…”
[New Box]
“'Raunchy meat, a pocket full, at the cafeteria'.
Uh, I mean…
'Launch a beat up rocket full of Materia'.”
[Cid]
“And I thought it might be fun to hear some of
your stupid puns again for old times sake…
my mistake.”
(Comedian)
“Oh, 'crap-again'(oh, captain).”
*Cid punches him*
...
Octo
KULT OF KERMITU
- AKA
- Octo, Octorawk, Clarky Cat, Kissmammal2000
FFVII jokes? Okay.
*Yuffie after capturing Cloud & Co*
Yuffie
"You want your materia? Then go find it yourself!"
"Yeah that's right. And when you're looking for the materia,
remember you gotta steel it."
"Heh heh... steel... steel! Get it?"
"C ya!"
...Yeah, I think Yuffie's joke got lost in translation. =/
I think it was supposed to be a reference to the 'steel' cage that she'd just locked the party in. But yeah, it was pretty crap....in Wutai, I guess they have to make their own entertainment.
robotwarui
kraplach
- AKA
- badrobot
OMG that tickled me. I was still on the clock at work when I read your punch line. I had to hold in the laugh in front of my supervisor. It exploded out my mouth and I quickly grabbed a Tissue to make it look like I was horking something.
So glad I asked.
Elysianist
Pro Adventurer
- AKA
- T, Zulo, Thomas
What was written in the books Sephiroth was reading in Nibelheim:
'Jenova was an Ancient'
*Trollface.jpg*
A Wild Nibelheim Appeared
Sephiroth used Firaga
It's Super Effective!
'Jenova was an Ancient'
*Trollface.jpg*
A Wild Nibelheim Appeared
Sephiroth used Firaga
It's Super Effective!
Last edited:
