Yes aaaand yes. One (soft) requirement I have is things like notifications whenever you're mentioned (or keywords if you're into that), as well as a proper mobile version or app. Discourse seems to have all of those; again, it's built with modern software development practices in mind, so, Ruby on Rails back-end, Ember.js front-end, PostgreSQL database, Redis in-memory storage wossname, runs on Docker, fully open source, and probably a good (remotely callable) API for shit like mobile apps or, in our case, the front page. But I'll have to look into that one.
I've tried installing it locally which seemed to work, but I couldn't access it. I think I'll try and get us a cheap / temp server to run it on, so I can fuck up - installing and running it is nontrivial. That might actually be the downside, it's very different in terms of technology than most forum softwares. But I guess in the end it puts its stuff into a database, so that should be convertable to any other software if need be. Let's just assume I won't die
I've got stuff to do in a bit (house watching), but I'll try and get it installed somewhere this weekend.