It's Not About The Nail

X-SOLDIER

Harbinger O Great Justice
AKA
X
1 minute and 41 seconds of pure perfection about the differences of the same discussion between males & females.





X :neo:
 

Cthulhu

Administrator
AKA
Yop
I have heard the "Men want to find a solution while women just want them to listen" thing several times before, :monster:.
 

The Twilight Mexican

Ex-SeeD-ingly good
AKA
TresDias
As have I. Pretty sure it's a load of crap, though. My wife won't even listen to someone if a) she doesn't think she can provide a solution or b) they've ignored her advice previously and continue to whine about the same subject.
 
I don't want to believe that this thing exists as a "difference between men and women".

Some people take comfort in their self-pity, whining etc and will feel compromised if somebody even suggests that there might be a simple, practical solution to end whatever is bothering them. This is a human thing that exists across genders. Many of these theories about "how women function" are just constructs invented to calm ourselves with the belief that "we got it all figured out".
 

X-SOLDIER

Harbinger O Great Justice
AKA
X
Stepping aside from the social observation that the short film is making and focusing more on Shademp's comment: Strictly speaking, there really is a fundamental difference in the physiological, biological, and biochemical makeup between the brains of males and females. You see it in things like spatial awareness for example. This isn't directly related to the more social commentary that the film is making, and certainly doesn't mean that you can't be a male/female with those strengths or attributes, but there is most certainly, "a difference between males and females" that extends beyond just visible physical characteristics.



X :neo:
 

Fangu

Great Old One
Hahaha! Funny video.

I don't think it's THAT black and white - I mean I can see that this is usually what it looks like from a guy's point of view, but talking about shit can help you sort shit out, and any support you get from those around you can help you justify any decision you're making. I mean if you have a nail stuck in your head, the obvious thing to do is to take it out, hello. But usually there isn't just ONE solution to a problem, there are multiple, and you want help to figure out which choice to make. As you talk, things become clearer.

Over the last years I haven't spend that much time with females, and I've sort of adapted the male approach more - as in, you think about stuff, then come up with a solution, because thinking about it too much never helps, plus sometimes you just have to make a choice - doesn't really matter which one you make, as long as you just decide on something. Before I would definitely talk more about stuff, and say things more clearly out of emotion, which was on collision course with my bf ("you can't be serious!") But now our conversation are much more... less. As in, we talk and sort shit out but it's not the hours of him listening to me anymore. And I find that incredibly liberating. I come from a family of people who leave the tags on THEIR FUCKING SOFA on, because, you know, maybe they'd want to take it back. >_> I tear of tags right away when I get home now, because I've realized that the power of being able to say "oh well, fuck that, moving on" is incredibly good for you. And I think men is much better at this than women.

So why are we like that? I think it's related to women being perfectionists, because we (sadly) have the ability to have more than 1 thought in our head at the same time. (Most women, that is. I can only have 2. After that my brain explodes.) We want to Do Well. We don't relax; relaxing is a sin in the female world. We're scared of making bad choices, because we're scared of criticism. Which is also why I believe some females have, to a certain degree, to learn to think a bit more like men to make good leaders. If you can combine The Best of Both Worlds, you can be an awesome leader. But you can't be a leader if you're a perfectionists, you have to know how to prioritize, and managing to (and having the ambition to) do EVERYTHING on the list is not prioritizing.

/rant
 
It's kind of clever but also kind of patronizing - and not only for gender related reasons. The nail metaphor falls apart in instances where the issue isn't clear-cut and then the communication failure becomes completely opposite from what the video presents it as. That is, instead of Person B being completely 100% right, Person B doesn't really understand Person A's problem before trying to offer solutions. I mean, yeah it's annoying when someone just goes on endlessly when there's an obvious solution, but when it's more complicated it's also obnoxious when people offer simple solutions without really considering the situation from a perspective other than their own. Like, I was kind of reminded of this comic
tumblr_lt6b2pMRJx1qgosl1o1_500.jpg
, not that it's a counterpoint or anything since the two are about different things, but it uses a somewhat similar metaphor from a different perspective.
 

Ite

Save your valediction (she/her)
AKA
Ite
I had this exact conversation with my girlfriend last night. Except... the genders were reversed.
 
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