Munatik
Beacause I am a puppet
...it all started when I went ahead and claimed my reserved appointment for an early Rapture. Seriously. I paid a lot in virgin flesh and blood to get an early spot, so that I could enjoy the afterlife before all the annoying fanatics started showing up. I then mailed Time Warner a smear of shit on a check for my last month of service, switched off my computer, went outside and opened my arms wide.
Up and up I went on the divine escalator, right up into Heaven's VIP loft. I was having a grand timeless time, but after an incident involving a mangy German Shepherd and a pocketwatch, Heaven shat me right back out, with my ass hitting Navy Seals Team Six's helicopter on the way down.
Despite my shit luck and being very, very far away from home, ironically and inexplicably, the will to live surged through me. Thus I climbed over the Himalayas, swam across the Pacific, and turned tricks for bus fare in LA before I was able to dragging my weary, battered carcass by my bloody fingertips across my welcome mat and back into my desk chair.
Then came the task of expertly downplaying the biohazard I intentionally exposed TWC to. That took at least a month, and that was mostly just waiting for the tech to show up.
Anyway, how have you guys been?
Up and up I went on the divine escalator, right up into Heaven's VIP loft. I was having a grand timeless time, but after an incident involving a mangy German Shepherd and a pocketwatch, Heaven shat me right back out, with my ass hitting Navy Seals Team Six's helicopter on the way down.
Despite my shit luck and being very, very far away from home, ironically and inexplicably, the will to live surged through me. Thus I climbed over the Himalayas, swam across the Pacific, and turned tricks for bus fare in LA before I was able to dragging my weary, battered carcass by my bloody fingertips across my welcome mat and back into my desk chair.
Then came the task of expertly downplaying the biohazard I intentionally exposed TWC to. That took at least a month, and that was mostly just waiting for the tech to show up.
Anyway, how have you guys been?
