So long, and thanks for all the fish

[Ⓐaron]

No, you're right, I don't understand. I don't understand at all how cleaning up my public posts, as I was specifically asked to do, is "trying to remove my culpability". I did what I was asked to do, and moreover I specifically admitted that many of my past posts had been unacceptable. That to me sounds like accepting one's culpability. My defences of myself in our most recent staff disagreement occurred mainly because, as I have said, I was being outright accused of inciting someone else to flame me repeatedly, and I don't see how that's acceptable. I find it difficult to believe anyone else, in the same position, wouldn't also have spoken up in their defence. I accept that I am culpable for many things, but I do not see how anyone can believe I'm culpable when someone else flames me repeatedly just because of a much less severe argument that had been resolved a month earlier.

 

[Cat Rage Room]

Aaron, I think this argument could potentially go on forever.

The question is; what do you want to do from here?

The site community will support you in whatever you choose.

 

[Starling]

From what's being said, it's pretty clear that communication issues have occurred, and that it led to an issue that feels like it could've been either avoided or at least turned out better than it is now. Before anything regrettable is said by anyone, it'd probably be a good idea for everyone to take a deep breath, look over the past year or so's worth of discussion and, with the power of hindsight, ask yourselves what was made clear and what wasn't. I don't see anything good coming from continuing the discussion until then and worry about what will happen otherwise.

 

[Hisako]

As someone who isn't staff, the fuck has been going on?

 

[Geostigma]

As someone who isn't staff, the fuck has been going on?

http://thelifestream.net/forums/showthread.php?t=17414

 

[Hisako]

Huh. That's certainly news to me.

I've always thought on occasion that "maybe Aaron needs to chill out for this one" but I'm having difficulty finding outright hostility like in the baaaad old days, and I mean like, the days where we were airing the fuck out of our disagreements. It's just seemed outwardly quite civil?

It's a bit of a shock, to be honest. Despite having some pretty deep ideological differences, I haven't generally found issue with anything in particular these days. Of course, these days I'm a filthy casual poster, so maybe I just haven't been browsing deep enough to find it

 

[Fangu]

RIP TLS Awards

On a more serious note, I don't know what to say Aaron, so what I'll say is: Thank you for all the work you've done on TLS. I know you've been in a rough spot for several years now and I hope stuff starts working out for you soon because you deserve some happiness. I know you feel like quitting TLS entirely is your only option right now but I do hope you decide to stick around in one way or another. You've been a part of this place for so long a part of you will always belong here. I feel odd writing a post like this, saying you'll be welcome and all, because you've been here since dinosaurs walked the earth. Yeah it'll definitely be strange without you.

Take care.

 

[Starling]

Huh. That's certainly news to me.

I've always thought on occasion that "maybe Aaron needs to chill out for this one" but I'm having difficulty finding outright hostility like in the baaaad old days, and I mean like, the days where we were airing the fuck out of our disagreements. It's just seemed outwardly quite civil?

It's a bit of a shock, to be honest. Despite having some pretty deep ideological differences, I haven't generally found issue with anything in particular these days. Of course, these days I'm a filthy casual poster, so maybe I just haven't been browsing deep enough to find it

I've looked at some old threads on occasion and found everyone to be somewhat rude back then compared to today. The announcement came as a surprise to me, as I've found Aaron quite civil during the time I've known him.

 

[Ⓐaron]

Aaron, I think this argument could potentially go on forever.

The question is; what do you want to do from here?

The site community will support you in whatever you choose.

I don't honestly have any idea. I was ready to leave for good after the way I was fired, but the way some people have spoken out for me is making me reconsider coming back eventually. I definitely don't think I'm going to be able to hang around here for awhile, though. I feel legitimately hurt at the way this was handled. I don't care so much that I was removed from staff because, as I said in my opening post, I was considering leaving anyway; I care how it was done. I feel like my trust has been betrayed in a way I find extremely difficult to forgive and it definitely won't be helpful for my mental health to stay around here in the near future, because I'll just be reminded of it, and I need to move past it.

I certainly have some past actions to think about further, but I honestly don't see what, in recent months, I could realistically have been expected to do differently in the position I was in, given the knowledge I had at the time and my psychological issues.

At any rate, thank you to everyone who has spoken out in support of me.

I can't say how long it will be before I return, if it happens. It will probably be at the bare minimum several months, if not a year or more. I will miss most of the people here, though.

 

[Channy]

Aaron, I've known you since I was a smallfry. A little tadpole swimming in the big forum waters and you've always made me feel welcome right from day one, nearly 10 years ago. Granted, there have been bumps in the road, and as we got older, our differences started to pull us apart. But you and I were once really close and shared a lot of secrets with each other. And it's strange, because it'll be the instances like this, when someone leaves, that makes you stop and look back on some of those friendships.

Going off of the thread, you're definitely hurt with how things were handled and you need time to yourself. That's fine. But as someone who's come and gone for 6 years because of space, I know that you wouldn't want to put that large of a gap or a "never coming back" because you might lose some of those friendships on your path of solitude.

So take the time, all the time you need. But like everyone else has said, you'll always be welcome here. So don't stay away too long, because sometimes stubbornness and pride can get in the way of you coming back. I should know.

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Aaron, you just do whatever is best for yourself right now. We've had our differences, but I hope you will decide not to leave. You are an institution here. Maybe you could even have more fun on the forum if you're not in an admin position for a while.

 

[X-SOLDIER]

That's 100% understandable Aaron. I think that a hiatus/vacation/whatever is a really good way to just unwind from how everything went down, because yeah. But seriously -- we love ya, d00d and I want nothing but the best for ya, even if that means that I have to go without seeing your well-constructed more type poasts for a while that have become a staple of my internet experience in a huge number of my areas of interest.

Spoiler: Also, I'm still singing it because it's an earworm

X

 

[null]

Don't panic, stay froody, and remember to pack a towel!

 

[Dawnbreaker]

The very fact that so many people have pointed out how shocking this decision is, should itself be a sign of just how messed up this is. I'm a fairly active member and I thought this was a prank. And way this has been done is also extremely questionable.

Honestly, this is so shocking that I can't even express how many things are wrong with it. I dare say my explanations (read: evidence) as to why this is so off-sides would be ignored, so that's why I'm not even bothering to express them.

I'm disappointed with the staff (only those that approve of this decision).

"The North Remembers."

 

[Flare]

I know I'm still pretty new here, and because of that, I've never really gotten a chance to know who you are, Aaron. Probably the only thing I know about you is that we most likely disagree on most political discussions, but politics is only a small part of a person, and I would like to someday get to know you better to be able to talk about other subjects.

I remember the past 3 years I spent as a lurker on this site, and I remember I enjoyed a lot of the posts you made for FF games. You were posting in pretty much every subject I read, and you seem like such a big part of this site. It'll be weird for you to be gone; hope you do return someday, after you take a vacation from here. Sometimes taking a breath away from things helps. I don't know anything about your real life situations, but I hope things work out for you.

 

[X-SOLDIER]

Ok. No more rumor-mill assumptions, passive-aggressive commentary, and second-guessing about why what happened happened based on what you've seen. If you have a grievance or concern about the changes to administration, you can message me about it or one of the other moderative or administrative staff if I'm not to your liking.

In the effort of diffusing this situation before it starts -- yes it's shocking to most of the general TLS member base, because it largely involved things specific to the staff area of the site itself and the inter-management therein. That means we already knew that it's certainly going to be out of the blue for most of you because of that, and yes it was something that was done in relatively short order. There were reasons it was done the way it was done that I'm not going to get into detail beyond Yop's official post on the matter -- which was made explicitly because of how it was done.

The entire situation was less-than-ideal in the first place, but I don't want this thread to spin back down into all that. I want this thread to be specifically about supporting Aaron doing what's best for him from here on out, and being supportive of him now that things are where they are.

Thanks.




X

 

[Kionae]

Damn... I finally find my way back to the FF community and now you're leaving? Well, that sucks. Take care, Aaron. Hope to see you around again in the future.

 

[Arianna]

Please take care...

 

[Alex Strife]

We haven't talked much but even so, it's a shame to see you go as you've done a lot for the community.

I can't say I have had any specific problems with you but it's also true we didn't really appear on the same threads, generally speaking.

However, if the community and the rest of the staff did have a problem with the behaviour, I think it's reasonable. Despite how harsh it may be.

I know you have had some stuff going on in your life. Since you said you're going to have some free time now for a while and you're not going to use it here on TLS, I can only encourage you to put your efforts into trying to fix those problems! You're smart and with the right help, I'm sure you can do it.

Do take the positives out of this situation; this may be a (harsh) wake up call. I'm sure once everything's fine, if you're back and prove your old worth... well, you know. Everyone knows what you're capable of at your best. Fight to get that back.

 

[Joker]

Ah, Aaron. I sat staring at my screen for a good few minutes trying to figure out what to say, and settled on speaking from the heart.

Spoiler: tldr where I talk about our relationship with each other in its various stages

Well, while once upon a time I would say we were fast friends, it's no secret that those days were well and truly over many moons ago. I remember our movement and lobbying for you to get that admin position in the first place. I recall our falling out as well, and I remember everything that came as a result - suffice it to say that those times have had a very permanent effect upon whatever relationship we now have, and that I bear my own share of the blame for everything.

Unfortunately, though - and as anyone who knows me can tell you - I'm pretty stubborn and have always thrived on conflict, going back to my childhood (where my mom and I would argue with each other over the dumbest things, just to argue - we both enjoyed it). The bad blood between us started having a noticeable effect on your attitude and behavior, which swiftly became less and less professional and began to extend to other people, to the point that they started to have issues with you as well. I mean, I have an entire folder of screencaps of these kinds of things on my hard drive.

I certainly didn't help that situation, which was childish of me, I admit. It all kind of spiraled out of control and shit got pretty crazy. But at a certain point I backed away from it all, hoping that maybe some chill time would do some good, and then my activism got the better of me and the big forum blowup happened and just...ugh. You know, that whole thing - the whole thing! - literally started over other people noticing the disparity in treatment I had received versus other people, and them deciding to provoke a reaction from staff. And at that point, there wasn't really anything that could be done to stop it or prevent it or anything else - it was entirely out of my hands and things ran their course. People flipped out, friendships were shattered - some very permanently - and roughly 30 people left TLS, which seemed to be best for everyone, myself included.

And then after a very long while - nearly three years - I got a bit nostalgic and missed the general atmosphere of a forum and decided to poke my head in and my welcome was (very understandably) almost hostile, including from yourself.

But hey we're back to the bread part of the sandwich so it's about to get better as I reach my conclusion. Hang on, I'm almost done yammering.

Over time - the past, what, year and change? - things seem to have gotten better. Maybe it's my more mellow attitude and general not-trying-to-cause-problems-ness, but I feel like things maybe have gotten better? I wouldn't say we've been chummy - I think those day are probably over for the both of us - but I think the fact that you reached out and were supportive of the shit happening in my own life was really fucking commendable and a standup thing to do. I'm the kind of person who just stays silent when they don't really have anything helpful to say in those kinds of times, but even with nothing that can really be said other than "goddamn that shit sucks man, hope it gets better", the fact that someone who, as far as I knew, held nothing but bitter hatred for me was able to make that token gesture was really, really nice.

I can't speak for any of the things going on in your life that may be affecting you, or anything else at all, really. But from what I've seen, you've really grown as a person, and while you may not be suited to a staff position here, I would say that that doesn't really matter, because it's very clear that you've become an important part of the forum and would/will be missed by many, if not most, of its members, which speaks volumes about you and your character.

Maybe the time away from the forum will be good for you; maybe not. I don't know. But I'd like to hope that when you do return (not if - when), you'll have some good news to share about how fucking rad shit's gotten for you.

tldr while things between us have been both good and bad, I wish you nothing but the best with everything, because I know things have been shitty for a while and nobody deserves that and they've gotta get better sometime

 

[Clement Rage]

I don't know exactly what happened, and I'm sure everyone has their side, so I'll just say good luck into the future, whether it takes you back here at some point or not.

 

[Atticus]

I'd hope you'd stick around. It's been fun posting with you occasionally. Forum stuff can be serious business sometimes but don't let it get you down. You're always welcome around me.

 

[Cookie Monster]

I don't think I need to type a long winded post here. Aaron, you've been buddy of mine for 8 years. This situation fucking sucks. All of it.

With it all aside, I'm still in your corner man. I don't want to see you go. I hope the break will at least provide you with some opportunities to sort some things out personally. And, if you need an ear, I'm always around. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best, and as always...

Good luck an' shit.

 

[Elessar]

To the admins: You guys are dicks. You guys unanimously voted him out and didn't tell him shit but are now saying stuff like, "Aww. I'll miss you Aaron. " in this thread.

EDIT 1: Also Aaron, I always thought you were a cool guy. Unless the staff show me proof, I'll continue to think so. You kinda intro'd me to Comics. Hoped to post about my new found hobby when I get the time but oh well...

42.

EDIT 2: Anyone else getting a survivor vibe from this? I wonder if there are secret alliances within the staff. Or maybe I'm just purposely typing this to stir shit up. Who knows?

 

[Dawnbreaker]

I want to thank those who messaged me individually to explain a lot of things. Ghost, Aaron, Lex, Carlie...I appreciate that my opinion on the matter well, matters. Obviously, I'm not particularly involved, but at the same time, this situation was a lot more complicated (read: involved more than what many have seen) than it appeared at first.

For Aaron, I can see how this is upsetting and out of the blue. I was completely shocked by this, too. He recognizes that he's hot-headed at times, but at the same time he's been encouraged to be that way at times. I admire how in-your-face he can be. With Aaron, I always know where I stand.

Aaron also is the top thanked, "best staffer", and one of the most active and contributing members on this entire board. His loss will be keenly felt. He's made it abundantly clear that he doesn't understand exactly why this came about. I feel he is sincere in these feelings.

At the same time, I can see how the rest of the staff feel, too. As several of them explained to me, they found him difficult to deal with. What to Aaron was simply being blunt and straightforward, to them was hostility.

While Aaron's behavior in public was satisfactory to me, I've been told that the staff felt uncomfortable with his behavior in private. Although I am clean amazed at the idea that someone I've known for so long could be so troublesome, at the same time, I cannot believe that the staff, many of which I hold in high regard, could have proceeded so far without there being something.

So, what's the real story? Of course, this lies in the secret-ish staff section which I will never have access to. I've been asked by both parties to believe their side of the story when neither can really produce any proof. So, what how am I to feel about that?

I've decided that it's only prudent to suspend judgement. As far as I can tell, this is one colossal misunderstanding caused by completely different opinions of "being warned"...but who knows? All I know is that I'm really sad to see Aaron no longer on staff and I wish both him and the rest of the staff all the best in this difficult change.