Lex
Administrator
This is a big ask, but please read and share your thoughts if you have time. Some of this is deeply personal so I'm sorry in advance for the inevitable melodrama (some of this stuff would make 2012 me proud I think).
I would also like to apologise for the length of this post, I understand it may not be accessible to everyone due to its length. I'm happy to discuss any of this over DM/ IM on Discord if anyone has anything they'd like to ask.
INTRO
Hi folks,
I need to make this post as a kind of "state of affairs" as well as a call to our community, because it's no secret that we've been in a bit of a content slump for the last while.
That's partly due to the people (myself included) who were taking on the work either leaving the community or not having time to contribute as much as they would like. For my own part, I am active here every single day but as everyone here will be aware I do not post as frequently as I used to, and I lament that I'm less in touch with the community than I used to be. Looking at the admin logs, I'm probably the most active when it comes to dealing with spambots etc but in real terms this is meaningless when it comes to the health of the community. I daresay there are now members here that I don't even know/ who don't know me very well, and once upon a time that was pretty unthinkable (wild though it sounds, I felt I at least had a read on the majority of consistent posters for the past decade or so).
PERSONAL OPINIONS/ CONTEXT (skip this if you wanna)
Realistically, and in the interest of full transparency, there are a bunch of reasons for this.
SUMMARY
There is an ebb and flow to a community like this and there are patterns you see emerging over time. This was all a very long way of fully explaining my position, and so that the people who don't know me can understand who I am and why I care about the place. It's also to re-affirm to those who DO know me and have noticed by dip in activity that I always have TLS on the brain and will never stop caring about it.
Which brings me to my resolution: I've been doing a shit job of that recently and I'm sorry. I am committed to staying with our community, to help guide our content creation and to bring back things like community livestreams and whatever else people want to do. But crucially, I cannot do this alone. I can act in an editorial capacity, bring stuff to me, ask me questions and I'll point people in the right direction. But I can only drive so much by myself, and right now I'm technically de-facto in charge of *everything*, including the YouTube, the front page, all social media channels, the board and discord. It's just analysis paralysis, and I need to acknowledge that I was asked to write an article about a month ago by someone on Discord, said I'd get it done then didn't have time and forgot. I can do these small things sure, but I need support.
Randomly, someone has reached out to me on our FB page to discuss content creation (admin of a Remake group who has brought together other creators) and I've lead them to our community - would be interesting to hear some fresh perspectives.
WHERE WE ARE NOW
Content is obviously in a hell of a drought, and that's OK if there's no one willing to make it at the moment. What I absolutely want to avoid is setting targets for people when I've already stipulated here that only people who are passionate about doing it for the sake of doing it should actually want to. It can be disheartening to put work into something and then seemingly get nothing back, but the motivation for creating something shouldn't be the potential clout, and with a fansite like this you're almost always going to end up disappointed. When I used to (regularly) write articles for the site, the buzz I got from it was seeing my name on something on the front page.
WHAT WE NEED
OK I've officially run out of steam. There's almost definitely more I want to say but I think I've said enough until I hear from other people. Blessed be
I would also like to apologise for the length of this post, I understand it may not be accessible to everyone due to its length. I'm happy to discuss any of this over DM/ IM on Discord if anyone has anything they'd like to ask.
INTRO
Hi folks,
I need to make this post as a kind of "state of affairs" as well as a call to our community, because it's no secret that we've been in a bit of a content slump for the last while.
That's partly due to the people (myself included) who were taking on the work either leaving the community or not having time to contribute as much as they would like. For my own part, I am active here every single day but as everyone here will be aware I do not post as frequently as I used to, and I lament that I'm less in touch with the community than I used to be. Looking at the admin logs, I'm probably the most active when it comes to dealing with spambots etc but in real terms this is meaningless when it comes to the health of the community. I daresay there are now members here that I don't even know/ who don't know me very well, and once upon a time that was pretty unthinkable (wild though it sounds, I felt I at least had a read on the majority of consistent posters for the past decade or so).
PERSONAL OPINIONS/ CONTEXT (skip this if you wanna)
Realistically, and in the interest of full transparency, there are a bunch of reasons for this.
- One of them is that in July I'll have been a member here for 14 years, and in that time I've seen countless groups come and go, the website transform numerous times, the community change. We go through peaks and troughs like any other community and I know activity will explode the minute a new Rebirth trailer drops/ the game comes out. Activity isn't really what I'm worried about.
- The advent of Discord has moved a lot of our activity to that and away from the board. I still believe there's a place for the board and the forum for long-form conversations, but if we're being honest most of us use Discord in the day-to-day. However, even there I'm not actively participating in discussion too often, though again, I am there every single day doing staff-ey stuff or just reading.
- From a personal point of view, in the 14 years I've been here I've gone from full time work, to student, to unemployed, to student+working, to professional career. I have work/ life balance now in a way I've never had it before, so realistically I should now have time to contribute because I know when I'm available. Sometimes life gets in the way.
- My feelings toward TLS have been challenged and changed over the years. The one thing that has never waivered is my desire to do right by the community and my love for the place. There are times when I've been surrounded by people with an acerbic or negative opinion of the site and to this day I still feel like this place is a part of who I am so I will always take action based on feedback and so that I can feel confident in defending this place to the people who spread misinformation and want to see it crumble. I took a mental step back a few years ago to examine whether or not this was healthy, which on one hand allowed me to develop an objectivity I didn't have before. On the other, it took me out of touch with the community and I then had to rely on others for feedback which I have since learned I can't trust.
- The period we had our most active participation across our various channels (YouTube, podcasting etc) was a period where people joined and were excited to dip a toe in the pool. Realistically people aren't going to want to do this forever, but when that activity fell away I felt like a failure as though this is something I was solely responsible for. In actuality, some (not all) of the people who drove that content at the time - while it was welcome - were doing it for the wrong reasons. TLS is never going to be IGN. We are a fan-site, and even if what we publish gets no clout, or gets 3 views, if you're contributing something you have to want to contribute it because you're passionate about what you're doing, not because of the positive feedback/ clout/ power you may or may not get after it's finished.
- Some of the people stopped being active because they felt they weren't being valued, as though being given admin rights on the board was a thing being withheld from them that they felt they deserved. I do not regret the stance I took at the time and wholeheartedly believe that the less people with the power to see the entire backend and blow this place up is the right call. It is also completely meaningless. Unless you're proficient in messing with the technical aspects of the site it's not something you should have access to. I totally understand that to some it's a bit of a status symbol, but I took way more pride over having the moniker "Site Director" than I ever have "Admin", because "Admin" is just a necessary technical role. I will acknowledge that there is a lack of diversity on the staff though, particularly at the moment.
- While I'm on that subject of clout and respect, I will forever hold people like Pixel and Shademp in the highest esteem when it comes to contributions to the FFVII fandom, regardless of any kind of meta surrounding it (Pixel is no longer with the community and he famously doesn't like me, for example). Shademp's Unused Text Series and other work is referenced in the videos of YouTubers with 6-figure subscriber counts on a regular basis. Even his most recent DoC stuff gets attention in lore videos. THAT is the clout that actually matters to me in this fandom, and that's why we should hold that kind of contribution in the highest esteem. Next to that, the title of "Admin" on the board is meaningless IMO and it always will be.
- When that flurry of activity in the lead-up to Remake stopped, I also took a step back from my participation on the media creation side. I recorded my entire playthrough, including my reactions, and never posted it on the YT. I still have the VOD's and am toying with the idea of cutting something together for the channel (3 years later). I don't think it helped that I wasn't keen on the direction of the story at the end, but that's beside the point (I reckon I'll get ripped to shreds because at one point I said "how do I let these ghost things win" or something along those lines).
- My willingness to take everyone's opinion into account has at times been a hindrance. There is a part of me that accepts that what is truth to someone is truth to them for a reason, because that is of course true. For example, we were too slow to call out/ deal with transphobia. This is partly because it was coming from well known members and the assumption was initially good faith. It was also partly because it wasn't initially overt. But it should never have gotten to the stage it did, and that's on me as well as other staff.
- I had good friends who seemed to take more pleasure in talking shit about this place and blaming the issues they had with it on everyone else rather than helping me work to improve the culture or change it. It took me a while to parse this out and realise that they're content to shit on it because they themselves do not care about the place - and also, some of the opinions they shared I don't think they realised they were also including me in their aspersions. They'll stick a toe in the pool when it suits them to create whatever main character narrative they're trying to create for themselves, but completely lack the moral fibre it takes to stand up for what's right and actually communicate to affect change. I'm ashamed to say I trusted and respected them enough to hold their views higher than my own (this was in part symptomatic of me taking a step back and relying on others to measure the atmosphere on TLS), and for a while I thought they were right. I've since remembered how *I* feel and it hasn't changed.
- There was an opinion shared by more than one person that "TLS is anti-women". To be honest, we utterly failed in this regard prior to me becoming a staff member, and that is entirely valid. There was some creepy stalker shit happening here before I joined staff in 2013 (and I still don't have entire context for it all), and I can only say it's not something I would ever let happen as long as I'm here (and current staff would agree). Then there was the general incel-like posting in the Forever Alone thread, which is something I started keeping an eye on since it caught my attention. I admit I personally was ignorant because I didn't frequent that place and am a gay man, so if I ever did see something questionable I probably rolled my eyes and wrote it off as breeder nonsense before I actually knew what an incel was. I know more now. The latest contingent to label TLS anti-women are some of the people who were banned for transphobia, and it was all in a very vaguebooking through-someone-else way. I find that particularly insidious because not only is it TERF rehtoric but it does play on valid concerns from the previous complaints that I actually support. The fact of that matter is, we need people here to report and challenge problematic stuff rather than writing it off as the culture of the community, because that isn't who we are now and it never will be as long as I have a say.
SUMMARY
There is an ebb and flow to a community like this and there are patterns you see emerging over time. This was all a very long way of fully explaining my position, and so that the people who don't know me can understand who I am and why I care about the place. It's also to re-affirm to those who DO know me and have noticed by dip in activity that I always have TLS on the brain and will never stop caring about it.
Which brings me to my resolution: I've been doing a shit job of that recently and I'm sorry. I am committed to staying with our community, to help guide our content creation and to bring back things like community livestreams and whatever else people want to do. But crucially, I cannot do this alone. I can act in an editorial capacity, bring stuff to me, ask me questions and I'll point people in the right direction. But I can only drive so much by myself, and right now I'm technically de-facto in charge of *everything*, including the YouTube, the front page, all social media channels, the board and discord. It's just analysis paralysis, and I need to acknowledge that I was asked to write an article about a month ago by someone on Discord, said I'd get it done then didn't have time and forgot. I can do these small things sure, but I need support.
Randomly, someone has reached out to me on our FB page to discuss content creation (admin of a Remake group who has brought together other creators) and I've lead them to our community - would be interesting to hear some fresh perspectives.
WHERE WE ARE NOW
Content is obviously in a hell of a drought, and that's OK if there's no one willing to make it at the moment. What I absolutely want to avoid is setting targets for people when I've already stipulated here that only people who are passionate about doing it for the sake of doing it should actually want to. It can be disheartening to put work into something and then seemingly get nothing back, but the motivation for creating something shouldn't be the potential clout, and with a fansite like this you're almost always going to end up disappointed. When I used to (regularly) write articles for the site, the buzz I got from it was seeing my name on something on the front page.
WHAT WE NEED
- CONTENT: Anyone is welcome to contribute, whether that be writing something for the front page (with help from me of course to learn how it works/ editorialise, fair warning, the backend is jank and there are a number of annoying steps), people who want to create stuff, anyone who wants to podcast or anything. I don't think it's been clear enough especially recently that the site is open for anyone who wants to contribute.
- STAFF: I've said - now 3 times I think, over the past 2 years - that we were going to replace moderators who left. We haven't done this because activity hasn't really warranted it, but it doesn't mean we couldn't do with new mods to better represent the community. Let me know if you all think this is a good idea and I'll get the ball rolling.
OK I've officially run out of steam. There's almost definitely more I want to say but I think I've said enough until I hear from other people. Blessed be
One thing I will say is that I researched and compiled an article about pre-order bonuses for Remake that was never used, which I was bummed out about because it took a fair bit of effort at the time. If I produce something considered not of value, I'd rather be told than feel ignored. That said, it may well have been that there was no-one with publishing access around at the time. If that's the case then I am willing to learn how to do this, I'm just wary of bosting the frontpage. 
