Holy shit. Apparently Billy Mayes died because he had been hittin' the nose candy too much.
HI TLS, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR COCAINE. I'M IN HELL NOW AND I'VE HEARD A LOT OF SHIT ABOUT MY COKE HABIT, AND I'M HERE TO CLEAR ALL THAT UP. YOU FUCKING NIGGERS DON'T KNOW SHIT ACTING LIKE COCAINE WILL TALE THE HAIR RIGHT OFF YOUR BROTHER'S BALLS OR SOME SHIT. STEP THE FUCK OFF. QUIT SEARCHING MY PRIVATE LIFE AND CORPSE AND I'LL USE MY OXY-CLEAN TO FIX THE OZONE. HOW? FUCK YOU, THAT'S HOW. COCAINE MAKES UGLY BITCHES DO-ABLE, AND I PERSONALLY PUT TWO SCOOPS IN MY COFFEE EVERY MORNING. IN CONCLUSION, FUCK YOU. FUCK HEART DISEASE. FUCK NOSE CANDY. AND THE NY DAILY NEWS.
IN A FEW MINUTES, THERE WILL BE A GODDAMN NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN. CALL THAT SHIT AND TELL THE MEDIA TO BACK OFF AND I'LL THROW IN A SAMURAI SHARK AND SOME GODDAMN ZORBEEZ.CALL ME NOW AND I'LL STOP YELLING. NEVERMIND, I'M IN HELL AND I CAN'T STOP SO FUCK YOU. I'M GONNA GO JACK OFF WITH SOME ORANGE-GLO BEFORE SATAN COMES AND USES THE PINEAPPLE ON MY ASS AGAIN.
SO CALL 1-800-781-7529 NOW AND TELL THEM BILLY MAYS SENT YOU.