So long, and thanks for all the fish

I've spent a lot of time at this forum, and I've enjoyed most of it. I found myself increasingly not enjoying it as much as I had over the past couple of months, and people may have noticed my activity declining. These things happen, and I was seriously thinking of quitting my position. It's not the first time I had doubts about continuing here, but it was unquestionably the most severe.

However, the choice was unceremoniously taken away from me in perhaps the most insulting manner I can think of - a number of people I thought were close friends shit-talking me behind my back, complaining about aspects of my behaviour about which, in many cases, they did not actually have the courtesy to confront me personally. Some of them did not discuss their concerns with my behaviour with me at all; I only found out they even had concerns yesterday. Similarly, while I had been made aware of other complaints that I was taking steps to address, I only became aware of most of the complaints that allegedly were the last straw in getting me fired roughly two days ago. I wasn't even given the courtesy of being informed in advance that my time as administrator was coming to an end; I was simply demoted without notice (leaving me to wonder why rather large portions of the admin control panel had disappeared without warning), then informed my position had been terminated.

Apparently the decision was unanimous, which means that since these people are in charge of the forum without opposition, I no longer feel welcome posting here. I don't expect I'll be back; a forum administration that treats former colleagues in this fashion is not a community in which I have any desire to participate. I'm sure many of you will understand.

Those of you who still enjoy my company can contact me on Skype or AIM or MSN. I also have an IRC room: #fools-gold on irc.calindora.com:6667, and I remain active on last.fm. I'll have an abundance of free time over the next few weeks until school starts again, so I'm sure I'll be fairly responsive.

Those of you who actually were my friends, thanks. I had a lot of good times here, once upon a time.

I'm sorry to see you go, I particularly found your debate posts a really good read. Good luck to you in the future and everything you do.

Your work on the Lifestream Member Spotlight (as well as its inception) and the TLS Awards will be remembered. Thank you for having handled these.

May good fortune and peace come your way.

I've quite enjoyed the threads and discussions you've taken part in. Things won't be the same without you around.

What the fuck???

Aaron I can't believe you're going!!!

For what it's worth I feel we're loosing a very valuable member of the community you've been an amazing member and poster and I'm very sorry to see you leave

I really wish you all the best for the future, you deserve it xxx

For what it's worth Aaron, I'm sorry to see you go. Take care and good luck with everything.

Sad to see you go; this place won't be the same without you. All the best.

I'm sorry you feel that way Aaron, you'll always be welcome here. The place really won't feel the same without you around. All the best.

Octo said:

For what it's worth Aaron, I'm sorry to see you go. Take care and good luck with everything.

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This basically. I hope you take care of yourself, that the shit your going through in real life gets better. I hope that after some time you decide to come back because while it wasn't working with staff you're still a member of the TLS family.

This actually comes as a surprise to me =(

Take care, dude.

Gosh! I'm really sorry to see you go, Aaron. You've done good work here and you've started some very interesting conversations. TLS won't be the same without you.

I wish you all the best.

I'm really sad to see such a Great Old One depart. Best of luck Ⓐaron. Who knows what this place will look like when the remake actually comes out. If your friends are still here, we'd love to hear from you. Until then, take care.

Wow, I logged in at last, come to make a 'sup bitches' poast and see this?

Are you leaving leaving or just having an epic bitchfit at being destaffed leaving? Let's face it, your attitude before RL swallowed me was being intensely douche for a long time, even when I was on staff I thought some of your comments were dangerously on the border of Summoner Yuna territory and the way you handled debates in the News and Debate section was frankly appalling. I distinctly recall the use of the phrase 'that's bad and you should feel bad for posting it', never mind the sheer amount of 'fuck you's' that were bandied about (that swearing award is mine even with the absence). I digress, nice use of debate technique there, I also recall mentioning your Stalinesque attitude previously, only to have it dismissed like I was overreacting, so I'm not at all surprised to see you've been booted, I'm only surprised it hasn't happened sooner.
Seriously, if you didn't see that coming then you need to take a long look at yourself.

Take my advice, remove yourself from the internet, learn how to not be a cunt and stop blaming others for your problems.

One upon a time I actually enjoyed your company online, in the past year or so my heart sank when I saw PMs from you. Your contributions to TLS have been very worthwhile, but your attitude has been in the gutter for a long time.

Aaron said:

Apparently the decision was unanimous, which means that since these people are in charge of the forum without opposition, I no longer feel welcome posting here.

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So the democratic attitude that everyone on TLS strives for counts for nothing? I've long said it ought to be more like FFOF but there are far more even-minded folk than I here who are adamant that there should be regular input from the member base. I honestly found that frustrating as a staffer, but understood the need for consensus of opinion.

See you round, I somehow doubt you'll stay away.

Honestly quite sad to see you taking off, since I've always greatly enjoyed your commentary all 'round various parts of this place, and it just seems very odd to be in an online community that doesn't have you wandering its halls -- since I don't really think that there was a time that that was the case. Hopefully ya still feel open ta checking some things at some point in the future, and saying hello here and there via various wherevers elsewhere, man.

(I do appreciate the thread title especially though and I'll be humming that all day now).




X

All the best, Aaron. I've no clue what your situation is abroad, but don't feel like you're isolated. You're always welcome to chat with me.

Good luck and good health, mo chara...n'shit

Aaron, I'm sad to see you go, and I wish you all the best, but I'm not going to let you act like we aren't your friends with this post. People here have tried helping you with your job searches and dating profile, been supportive about your life obstacles in general, and we've spent the past year trying to get you to improve your attitude in debates while it has only deteriorated further.

You really want to claim you were given no opportunity to improve and not told that you were in danger of losing your position? I can pull up no less than two instances of Yop outright telling you that he was having serious doubts about your role as an admin because of this shit. He will himself admit he let you continue on longer than he should have because of friendship.

I still like you and I want you to come back when you get your shit together, but please include learning some personal accountability in that.

Seriously, though, I wish you the best. Good luck.

The Twilight Mexican said:

Aaron, I'm sad to see you go, and I wish you all the best, but I'm not going to let you act like we aren't your friends with this post. People here have tried helping you with your job searches and dating profile, and we've spent the past year trying to get you to improve your attitude in debates while it has only deteriorated further.

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I don't agree that my attitude in debates has "deteriorated further". I asked specifically how to avoid coming off as so abrasive, and took that advice to heart. When I was repeatedly insulted in a debate two months ago, I almost completely avoided posting anything harsh in response. You even specifically complimented me on how much restraint I displayed. In general, I see no reason to believe I have been any harsher in debates at any point throughout the last couple of months than anyone else whose conduct was considered acceptable. If that is still harsher than staff would have liked, I was not at any point made aware of that. Given that I had actively been praised for my restraint, and no one else directly addressed anything I said as being in violation of any forum rules, I was under the impression that things had improved.

I did not alter my attitude in staff because we had always been encouraged to be blunt in there in the past. I wasn't even aware this was a problem until a couple of days ago.

A friend would speak of concerns he or she had about a person's behaviour with that person directly. Many of the complaints that had apparently been raised with my behaviour were things that I do not remember hearing about from anyone, and many of the people who apparently had complaints did not even bother raising them with me at all. I can name five people on staff from whom I do not remember hearing a single word of criticism about my conduct before I was booted, and at least one more from whom I do not remember hearing anything negative from until roughly two days ago. That is an astonishing number of people who were apparently talking about me behind my back. Mind you, I make no attempts to claim that all of my conduct over the past year or two was exemplary, but I cannot improve myself if I am not aware that something is in need of improvement.

You really want to claim you were given no opportunity to improve and not told that you were in danger of losing your position? I can pull up no less than two instances of Yop outright telling you that he was having serious doubts about your role as an admin because of this shit. He will himself admit he let you continue on longer than he should have because of friendship.

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"Serious doubts" does not equal to "You will shape up or you will lose your position", especially since I took clear steps to improve my behaviour on the issues I was aware were a problem, and especially since I wasn't aware many of the others were problems at all. This does not necessarily mean that no one tried to warn me, but as I have repeatedly noted, I am on the autism spectrum. Subtle hints are not the way to go.

Aaron. Knew you for the better part of a decade and even though we haven't chatted very much at all in the last few years it's still sad to see you go.

It's sadder to see you go out like this of all things.

You say this kind of blind sided you but in the same breath you talk about how knew some people were uncomfortable with the way you represented yourself and Staff on the boards and were looking to correct that. Simply put if people were still uncomfortable with your posting style than you didn't deliver and removing you in that way while not being the most graceful of ways was probably the last option. It's not like you haven't been a bit abrasive over the years every now and again.


With some of the terms and way you worded your outro I get the impression your taking the board to seriously. Back that ass up and remove yourself from the situation and the net and come back when you and your IRL situation is on the up and up

I hope to see you around these parts again one day. Take care buddy.


edit:

FFS You ninja posted right before me. God damn it now I'm gonna have to read a long post.
TY AARON JEEZE.

Gabriel said:

Aaron. Knew you for the better part of a decade and even though we haven't chatted very much at all in the last few years it's still sad to see you go.

It's sadder to see you go out like this of all things.

You say this kind of blind sided you but in the same breath you talk about how knew some people were uncomfortable with the way you represented yourself and Staff on the boards and were looking to correct that. Simply put if people were still uncomfortable with your posting style than you didn't deliver and removing you in that way while not being the most graceful of ways was probably the last option. It's not like you haven't been a bit abrasive over the years every now and again.

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Were being the operative word here. I was not aware that my behaviour was still an issue with anyone until two days ago, because no one told me.

I don't have anything mre to say about this, Aaron, but, really, be well. I wish nothing but good things for you.

I was going to post something akin to what Tres wrote but as I mentioned numerous times before it doesn't penetrate. These arguments are circular. I mentioned in staff numerous times that your behaviour was out of order and specifically that members had contacted me on a number of occasions to say that you were being too intense. I joined six years ago and I had a huge amount of respect for you, but you have really let your ass hang out for the past couple of years and it's only gotten worse. Yop specifically told you at least twice to reconsider your position as a staff member because your behaviour was out of line. And we have all at one point or another told you straight up to sort it out. I can understand you feeling like this is coming out of nowhere only because as I said previously - this stuff doesn't penetrate when we try to explain it to you. You'll latch on to a tiny bit of a post, try to debunk it, and disregard the overall point, which is that your behaviour has been flat out unacceptable. It's too intense for anyone to deal with anymore.

I really really hoped that you would improve after the last time we had this discussion, but the crap you dragged up the other day proves that nothing came from that. You claim to have improved in public but you haven't actually taken anything we said in, you've just found a way to remove your own culpability by claiming we're all cold hearted monsters. All of us agonised over this decision. All of us like you. But it's not fair to the members who complained or to other staff to keep you on when you've shown time and time again that you're in denial about your own culpability. I REALLY hope you can start to see things from the other side, because this was not an easy choice for anyone.

I meant what I said in my previous post. If you're choosing to leave - and you're not being forced out here, you're just not fit for staff with your current attitude - that's up to you. But I'd love it if you stuck around. I want old Aaron back. I haven't seen him in a very long time.

I flat-out admitted that quite a lot of my conduct was unacceptable (to name two examples, quite recently I admitted I was dismissive on multiple occasions and a few months ago I explicitly asked how to avoid being so abrasive in debates, which afterwards I tried to the best of my ability to do in public, the only place anyone made me aware it was a problem), and took steps to change the conduct that I was made aware was unacceptable (i.e., my public persona). I'm not sure how much more responsibility anyone can be expected to take. I don't find it possible to avoid going on the defensive, though, when I'm being told that the reason I was flamed seven or more times in a debate two months ago is because I wouldn't watch a YouTube video whose title fundamentally offended me the month before. That came across awfully like I was being told I deserved to be flamed.

Well this is unexpected.

Take care.

The Man said:

I flat-out admitted that quite a lot of my conduct was unacceptable (for example, quite recently I admitted I was dismissive on multiple occasions and a few months ago I explicitly asked how to avoid being so abrasive in debates, which afterwards I tried to the best of my ability to do in public, the only place anyone made me aware it was a problem), and took steps to change the conduct that I was made aware was unacceptable (i.e., my public persona). I'm not sure how much more responsibility anyone can be expected to take. I don't find it possible to avoid going on the defensive, though, when I'm being told that the reason I was flamed seven or more times in a debate two months ago is because I wouldn't watch a YouTube video whose title fundamentally offended me the month before. That came across awfully like I was being told I deserved to be flamed.

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It's fine Aaron, you don't understand and that's kind of just the way it is. That's the reason we're in this situation. As I said before, you're more than welcome to stick around and nobody holds a grudge against you.