FanFiction discussion (split from the LTD thread)

[Octo]

"angsty pole dancing"? I have to read this

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

"A deed once done, cannot be undone."
--Dinobot

 

[jazzflower92]

"A deed once done, cannot be undone."
--Dinobot

BeastWars fan?

You know the next season of Transformer Prime will be based on Beast Wars.

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

I did not know that. Thanks for the info. =) I really need to watch that show. "Beast Wars" is one of the best programs ever.

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

So does anyone have a Clack leaning? I'm asking for a friend.

I predict Mei-chan popping in here all excited and shouting "CLACK!" if she should happen to see this post

 

[Lex]

no seriously, no one has epic clack fics. my friend will be very disappointed.

 

[jazzflower92]

I did not know that. Thanks for the info. =) I really need to watch that show. "Beast Wars" is one of the best programs ever.

The irony is I was four years old when that show came out.I know a lot about it from TV Tropes.I think anyone who is a fan of Beast Wars will like Transformers Prime mainly because of the same dark tone it shares with the earlier show.I still can't believe half the things they have gotten away with on that show.A lot of characters get killed off and it really seems like a deconstruction of tropes regurarly used in many Transformers series.

Plus it has Steve Blum voicing Starscream.Yes,the Steve Blum.Plus Peter Cullens is voicing Optimus Prime again and Frank Welker voices Megatron again.I can say this series really acts a lot more like a war story than other Transformers series to the point you feel it should be aimed more at a college aimed crowd.

 

[Unlucky]

"angsty pole dancing"? I have to read this

"Get over here, Mr. Porn Star..." - actual quote from the fic

Currently looking for that pole dancing part

edit: found eet xD You know..

Spoiler

Cloud has a very... interesting means of coping in this fic. If Twig had written Advent Children, Cloud wouldn't be found in Aerith's church

 

[Ryushikaze]

So, I don't have any good FF7 fanfic to suggest- most of my good fanfic reading came from other fandoms of mine, like Ranma and Star Wars- but for bad fanfic suggestions, Lian-Hua just finished up the MSTing of the ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE Shinra High/Shinra SOLDIER fanfic. 150 some chapters of pure unadulterated writing, canon, and sanity fail, folks.

http://lian-hua.livejournal.com/1979.html

Enjoy.

 

[Unlucky]

^Oooh it's finished now? Will read.

Which reminds me, didn't we have a thread for this where there's also a Star Trekx Shinra High crossover that anyone can update

Whatever happened to that, I love that fic

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

Speaking of bad fanfics, does anyone else remember "Deus ex Jenova" by Max Zhang? Memorable for its annoying use of "Planet" in exclamations that would normally use "God," and most memorable for its final two chapters, in which an illiterate Cloud marries both Tifa and a resurrected Aerith (both of whom become traditional housewives), gets jealous when they have relations with each other, and ultimately grows a second penis to accommodate both women simultaneously.

Seriously, you can't make up this kind of shit:

http://www.asstr.org/~loquat/

 

[Octo]

Cloud's mind wandered over to his left arm. It was still there. He had no need to touch it. He knew it was where it was supposed to be. A ribbon. He had taken it from Aeris when he let her go at the edge of the pool. The young man kept it underneath his shoulder guard. A clandestine reminder of a woman lost.

Later on while Tifa slept contentedly beside him, he had slipped the ribbon back on and wept; he muffled his sobs by running his palms along the his sword until they bled. That agony hardly surpassed the turmoil which dwelled deep inside.

First published: 1999

Holy shit

EDIT: I have to say I prefer my badfics to be short and terrible like Cloud Mows the Lawn. Or long and awful like Shinra Soldier. This one is bad, but I think the author was well meaning y'know?

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

Yeah, that's what makes this so bad. The author seemed to have no idea how terrible it was. Though the ribbon thing you pointed out is quite funny. People have always said parts of Advent Children sounded like a bad fanfic.

But I guess there were so many of them, Square really couldn't have come up with something completely fresh and unique. Hell, Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz weren't even that original -- I remember reading a fanfic or two where Seph managed to escape the Lifestream by sheer force of will, but in a diminished state.

By the way, if you just can't get enough of "Deus ex Jenova," Max Zhang actually wrote two different versions of the bonus chapter. The other is at IcyBrian:

http://www.icybrian.com/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=1117&textsize=0&chapter=6

I really can't decide what the worst thing about this fic is. One of the things I mentioned in my previous post? Shy, introverted Tifa being so sexually forward when her "Words aren't the only thing" line was as close to it as she could muster in the original game? The way she constantly calls Cloud "Tiger"?

There's so much suck here.

 

[JayM]

...If we're talking badfic now, has anyone else ever encountered "Immortality in Fickle Affection," aka the Kooshball penis thing? KH-verse, but there's a lot of, er - well - there's someone named Cloud, at least.

Link for the curious. I would advise not drinking anything while reading this fic. I can't honestly remember HOW I stumbled across it, only that certain mental images burned themselves into my brain forever.

 

[Octo]

XD oh holy fuck that is priceless! Every sentence is laugh out loud funny. It's a fucking work of art!

 

[JayM]

Right? It's terrible but in such an over-the-top way it kind of comes back around to amazing. XD

 

[Jiro]

I think likening Advent Children to fanfiction is pretty accurate. Just because the same folks were the brains behind both doesn't mean it's not just their fun continuation with a much larger price tag (and production cost) than the average fic. Nearly everything in it can be prefaced with "Wouldn't it be cool if..." But I enjoy watching it every damn time, so I guess they did something right.

I read a lot of bad FF7 fanfiction back in the day, but only "one" is really memorable and it was a (retrospectively - I looked it up a while back because I was curious to see what quality of fanfiction I'd been reading) poorly written series that put Aeris and Tifa in the same cell in Shinra HQ and paired them. Although it did some interesting things with alternate storylines and whatnot (and there was potential for a lot more of interest), it was in the end exactly what you'd expect from a series whose primary focus was getting two popular video game chicks to go at it. And, like Advent Children, despite its flaws, still great fun

 

[Pixel]

...If we're talking badfic now, has anyone else ever encountered "Immortality in Fickle Affection," aka the Kooshball penis thing? KH-verse, but there's a lot of, er - well - there's someone named Cloud, at least.

Link for the curious. I would advise not drinking anything while reading this fic. I can't honestly remember HOW I stumbled across it, only that certain mental images burned themselves into my brain forever.

lol I just clicked on that link without reading your post. :/

Reading the first line, I thought it was Sephiroth impaling Cloud with his sword.... then I read on lol

Was like brokeback mountain all over again

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

I try to avoid mocking fanfiction, because you just never know if the author is some little thirteen uyear old who cannot be expected to know or write any better, and who is really trying her hardest.

But this one made me laugh: http://archiveofourown.org/works/687425

Because of "Inside the room were the men. One was behind the oak desk. He was about 5'11 with long black hair. He had almond shape eyes and hazel eyes."

OMG Tseng has four eyes!! Who knew?

 

[Pixel]

I try to avoid mocking fanfiction, because you just never know if the author is some little thirteen uyear old who cannot be expected to know or write any better, and who is really trying her hardest.

But this one made me laugh: http://archiveofourown.org/works/687425

Because of "Inside the room were the men. One was behind the oak desk. He was about 5'11 with long black hair. He had almond shape eyes and hazel eyes."

OMG Tseng has four eyes!! Who knew?

He has a 3rd eye on his forehead, and one... somewhere else

Dunno about almond shaped though.

 

[Octo]

Almonds and hazel.....nuts.... And a pistachio for a nose.

 

[Unlucky]

...If we're talking badfic now, has anyone else ever encountered "Immortality in Fickle Affection," aka the Kooshball penis thing? KH-verse, but there's a lot of, er - well - there's someone named Cloud, at least.

Link for the curious. I would advise not drinking anything while reading this fic. I can't honestly remember HOW I stumbled across it, only that certain mental images burned themselves into my brain forever.

 

[Edley]

Deus ex Jenova ...

Spoiler: Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here

"Tiff," he grabbed her by the arm, "I'm sorry."
Her voice came back subdued, "Sorry doesn't begin to cut it."
Cloud put his hands gently on her shoulders, "We never got to finish
what we started back at the inn."
"What else is there to say?" she half heartedly tried to shrug him off.
"A lot more," he turned her around, "A hell of a lot more."
"You're wasting your time," her eyes dimmed, "Weren't you going to see
her?"
"Oh come off it Tiff," he snapped, "I know I screwed up. Do you have to
rub it in?"
"You lecherous bastard," she hissed, "I ought to rip them off right
now."
"So what's keeping you?" he growled and held her by the wrist.
"Because," she tried to move away, "Because she might need them later
on."
"Th-that's a load of crap," his voice shook, "You suck at lying y'know?"
Her eyes glittered as her hands reached into his pants, "Oh, that's not
all I suck."
"What the hell are you --!" he shut his eyes and suppressed a shudder.
It was only a day, but his body craved her touch already, "Tiff -- aaah."
She pushed him into the room and onto the bed. Cloud opened his eyes
and he released a pent up sigh as her tongue slowly circled and tickled
him. He blinked and got back to his senses.
"Stop," his voice ragged.
Tifa continued her lip service without answering.
"I said stop," he pulled her off him.
"Why? Don't you like it?"
"Not now," Cloud pulled his pants back up, "Why are you doing this?"
"Does it matter?" she smiled, "as long as I am?"
"No. It does matter."
She laughed, "Oh, I get it."
"Get what?"
"You need something fresh to keep you interested."
"You know that's not it," Cloud seethed.
"Really? So how do you want it then?" she turned around slowly, "In my
mouth? Between my legs? Or maybe in the back again?"
Cloud closed his eyes, "No Tiff, it's not --"
"Oh, I know," she snapped her fingers, "You need them all one after
another, hmm? Or maybe you need a new way to do things. You want to be in
charge tiger? To have me lie under you, helpless? I can do that too."
"Tiff, this has gone far enough," his voice stern, "I stayed with you
because I loved you --"
"And do you still love me?"
Cloud paused, "Yes."
"Great," she took off her top, "That's all I wanted to hear."
"But not that way," he said exasperated.
"Take me," her shorts and shoes came off, "Do me now."
"Tiff don't do this."
"Come on fuck me," she lay down and spread her legs, "Anyway you want."
"No way," he backed off, "Get out of my room."
"Didn't you hear what I said!?" she reached up and grabbed him roughly.
"Let go --!" he winced as her nails dug into his crotch.
"Shut up!!"
"I said leggo!" Cloud grabbed her hair.
"Ow, dammit!" she slapped him.
Cloud shoved her roughly to the floor.
"Get the hell out of my room," he fingered his cheek.
"Make me tough guy," her breasts heaved with exertion.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Come on," Tifa got back onto the mattress, "One last time and I'll
promise I'll leave you alone."
"What the hell are you saying?" Cloud looked up.
"I just wanted to see you one last time before -- just one last time."
"What?"
Tifa smiled weakly, "I'm leaving you after this."
Cloud stood stock still, "I'm not letting you go."
"And why's that?"
"Because I need you."
"What in the world do you need me for?" Tifa laughed, "You already set
your sights on a new flesh toy."
"Dammit Tiff, stop bringing her into this."
"Why shouldn't I?" her voice cracked as she flung her arms around him
and pulled him down, "Come on. I bet being alone with her in that nightie
really turned you on, huh? C'mon, you can think about it all you want while
you're in me."
"Stop this," Cloud hissed, "Last night was a damn mistake and you know
it."
She closed her eyes and pulled him closer, "Was it?"
"Don't -- don't do this to me -- to yourself," Cloud said even as he
felt himself stiffen.
Tears fell as she opened her eyes and hissed, "Go ahead. Do it. You
know you want it like this."
Cloud hovered over her and didn't move.
"Do it damn you!" she let out a shriek of pain as she forced him
inside.
"Damn it Tiff!" Cloud tried pushing off, "No more! This has gone far
enough!"
"I'm not letting go until we're finished!" she hissed through ragged
breaths. He tried breaking free, but her leglock was too tight for him to
do anything else.
"Let -- go!" his voice hoarse as her nails dug deep into his back.
"NO!" she screamed again as she urged him to move.
Cloud gritted his teeth and he saw she had her eyes shut tight. Tifa's
face bore a look of excruciating pain. He tried one last time to break free
-- only to have her clamp down even tightter.
"I'm - not - going - through with this," he whispered fiercely.
She glared at him with tear filled eyes.
"You do it," she hissed, "or I turn you into a fucking cripple."
Cloud winced as she applied a stab of pressure to his back.
"Go ahead," he choked, "It'll be better that way, won't it?"
Tifa's face trembled slightly before she pushed him off. He let out a
sigh of relief as he rolled away. When he looked down, he saw he was
smeared with blood.
What the hell?
Cloud risked a glance at Tifa. She was shivering violently but it
wasn't from the cold.
What - have - I - ?
"Tiff?" he hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder, "Are you --?"
"Fuck you!! I don't want your damn pity!"
His hands reached for the phone, but she flung it angrily against the
wall.
"GET OUT!!"
Tifa curled into a ball and cried as the door slammed.

 

[Jiro]

"sexy little gerbil"

... what strange dimension have I wandered into

 

[Splintered]

...If we're talking badfic now, has anyone else ever encountered "Immortality in Fickle Affection," aka the Kooshball penis thing? KH-verse, but there's a lot of, er - well - there's someone named Cloud, at least.


Link for the curious. I would advise not drinking anything while reading this fic. I can't honestly remember HOW I stumbled across it, only that certain
mental images burned themselves into my brain forever.

"Oh, yes, give it to me, big boy!" he yelled, not caring who heard. Hercules grunted in response.

I am three lines into this and it is already my favorite fanfiction of all time.