FFVII CHARACTER SMACKDOWN - The Neutrals Championship

f a n c y

s y c a m o r e t r e e
AKA
Fancy
#1
Sup? Are you ready for...?


If this is your first time hearing about 'Character Smackdown', feel free to refer to this thread here.

In short, it's my pet project where I'm attempting to put a spin on character battles done in the past in a fun and engaging way. All members are free to join and drop out at any point after a round.

The Rules
The gist of the game is this: you, the player, are going to be assigned to a team at random and then given a character at random. Then, using your creativity, you, along with your teammates, will present arguments as to why the character you were given would win in a theoretical fight against the opposing character.

There are going to be 55 champions, but only one can win.

For each round of the game, we're using a randomiser to pull two champions, one location (which will be the 'arena'), and split the participants into three groups: Team Chocobo, Team Moogle, and The Spectators.

Rules for Team Players
  1. Be Persuasive
    Your job is to use your creativity and argumentative skills to persuade the Spectators why the champion you were given would win in a theoretical fight—even if you happen to dislike this character. The cleverer (and funnier) the reasoning, the better.
  2. Be Creative
    Again, this is all about creativity. Take the character you were given and the character you’re up against and really consider their profession, their surroundings, how they behaved in-game, what they’re wearing—everything! Don’t be afraid to think outside of the box!
  3. Be Cooperative
    You're typically working in teams, so do try to bounce off what your teammates are saying and build on each other's arguments. If your teammate makes a totally ridiculous statement, just roll with the silliness. DO NOT bully your teammates or try to dictate their arguments.
  4. Be Reliable
    Once you've decided to be a participant, you are making a commitment to your teammates. Don't just up and disappear and leave a teammate to fend for themselves. If you want out of the game, let me know after a round is over (best time to say something is whilst the 'Spectator Voting' period is happening).

    Participants who fail to participate after 1 round will be asked if they want to remain in the game. If they say no, they will be taken out of the pool but are free to be put back in in the future if they ask. If I get no response at all from them, they will be removed from the pool, but are free to be put back in in the future if they ask. If they say yes and fail to show up the round immediately following the one they were absent in, they will be taken out of the ‘pool’, no questions asked, but are free to be put back in in the future if they ask.

  5. Be Active (or not :P)
    Every round lasts 48 hours and you can make as many posts as you'd like in this span of time in order to drive home your advocacy for your champion. Any posts made after the time limit won't be considered.
  6. Be Communicative
    After a round (during the Spectator's voting period), you can choose to opt out by clearly stating to me that you'd like to be out of the 'Pool'. Otherwise, I'll give you another role. You can jump back into the 'Pool' at any time by, again, stating that you'd like in and I'll assign you a role in the next round.
  7. Be Adaptable
    Again, after a round, you will be reshuffled into a new group and, thus, might be given new teammates.
  8. DO NOT Be A Jerk
    This is a smackdown, but the forum rules still apply. Be respectful to other members (including your teammates—don't lambast anybody for not forming an argument in the way that you'd like), don't threaten Spectators, don't use hate speech in attacking the other champion, and just, you know, don't be a dick. (I know this won't be a problem because you're all such a cool bunch but... formalities :P).


Rules for Spectators
  1. Spectate
    During the 48 hours in which a round is going on, you can watch, but...
  2. Don't Partake
    Spectators aren't allowed to make suggestions, arguments, or post anything to dictate or 'help' one team or another. You can, however, feel free to express your appreciation for a good post.
  3. Appreciate
    Which side is making the more persuasive argument? Which side has you rolling with laughter? Which side needs to get their shit together? Take it all in.
  4. Don't Hate
    Try to keep the atmosphere lighthearted and chill and don't start tearing down people in the middle of the game for making what you perceive to be a 'weak' argument. Just Don't Be That Person™. Again, at the end of the day, this is all about fun, fun, community fun.
  5. On Voting
    After the 48 hour period of the team players making their cases, Spectators are given 24 hours to cast a vote for either Team Chocobo or Team Moogle. Any vote cast after that period of time will be discounted. If all Spectators fail to vote, I'll decide the winner. If 2 of 3 Spectators fail to vote, the one spectator who did vote will decide the winner. If 1 of 3 Spectators fail to vote (assuming the 2 voting don't come to the same conclusion) I'll step in and be the third spectator.

After all the spectators have cast their vote, the winner of the round will be announced along with the new teams and new champions in a post.

Notes
  • All spectators are voluntary. The only incidence in which someone is assigned a spectator role is when no one else is volunteering to be one.
  • There only ever really needs to be 1 Spectator at any given round, but the ideal number is 3.
  • Audience members (those who have not signed up to be spectators but plan on watching anyway) are free to cast their votes in the voting period.
  • DO NOT TRY TO PARTICIPATE IF YOU HAVEN'T VOLUNTEERED TO BE A PLAYER.
  • Picture are provided with locations. I tried to pick only the locations with visible items in them.
  • After each round, everyone’s reshuffled into new groups.



The Participants
This is everyone who’s volunteered to participate! Again, it’s never too late to join in and you always have the option of opting out (after the round is over, please. Don't leave teammates hanging—it's rude :monster:). Just please make it clear to me so I know whether or not to assign you a role after each round.
  • BforBrigitta
  • Channy
  • ChipNoir
  • Clement Rage
  • Elessar
  • Fancy - spectates when necessary
  • Joe - spectating
  • LicoriceAllsorts
  • Minato
  • Ergo Proxy (Moss)
  • Mr. Ite
  • robotwarui - spectating
  • solo player sab

The Bracket

A live bracket of the tournament is being hosted here if you're interested in keeping up with the winners and future matches!

Shoutout to Tel for putting things in the right words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • Round 1-19
  • Round 1-20
  • Round 1-21
  • Round 1-22
  • Round 1-23
  • Round 2-1
  • Round 2-2
  • Round 2-3
  • Round 2-4
 
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f a n c y

s y c a m o r e t r e e
AKA
Fancy
#5
Hahahaha I was just reading through it. I had a similar outcome when I was fiddling with the predictions. Dunno why I hadn't saved it. :okay:

ooooohhh ooooohhh less than 24 hours 'til the first battle post is made. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
 

f a n c y

s y c a m o r e t r e e
AKA
Fancy
#6
Battle Post - ROUND 1-1

Round 1-1

Your Teams...



Minato
ChipNoir
BforBrigitta
Clement Rage
Elessar




LicoriceAllsorts
solo player sab
Ergo Proxy
Mr. Ite
Channy


Your Champions...


VS



The Location...


Cid’s House

Chocobo Carriage Driver - He steers a Chocobo-drawn carriage through the streets of Sector 6, chauffeuring eligible young women to Don Corneo…
Are you ready Team Chocobo?


Luxiere - A 2nd Class SOLDIER and one of Zack Fair’s earliest fanboys…
Are you ready Team Moogle?



The countdown begins when the first team player posts!
 
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ChipNoir

Internet Ghost
AKA
Mister Spooks.
#8
Do not underestimate my capacity for spinning head canon and game theory. I intend to right by Team Chocobo to the bet of my abilities.

But how exactly are we supposed to confer with each other? Forgive me if this is already covered somewhere. Still balancing my last week of school, so I'm gonna be a 'little' helter skelter till after the 9th, but I'll give my input for my team!
 

f a n c y

s y c a m o r e t r e e
AKA
Fancy
#9
I haven’t stated any rules about conferring with teammates! I think it might be easiest now to just message your teammates privately if that’s how you want to go about things :P

Pardon me for the weak answer LOL, this is all still very much an experiment :P :P

By the by, I know I said the countdown starts when a team member posts, but I don’t consider the 48 hour period for the battle to have started since there’s yet to be a post stating any sort of argument. :joy:
 

Channy

Bad Habit
AKA
Channy, Aerith Gainsborough, Ruby Rose, Lucy
#14

--

wooooo go Team Moogle, we got Ite, so I feel like we've already won in any respect. :monster:
 

f a n c y

s y c a m o r e t r e e
AKA
Fancy
#15
Elessar has asked to join the game and, because the battle has not *technically* started, I'm putting him on Team Chocobo for an even number of five players on each team.

I'm excited to see how this turns out! Best of luck to everyone. Again, when the first argument is made, I'll make a post announcing when the 'battle' is going to be over.

Oh, and because I suspect that some folks are confused about this...

For each new round of a game, you will be put on new teams. The teammates that you have now will more than likely not be your teammates for the next battle.

In short, after each round, everyone’s reshuffled into new groups.


The reasons being:
  1. To keep things new and interesting each round.
  2. To keep teams balanced (say that, hypothetically, 4 of the 5 members on Team Chocobo decide they don't want to play anymore after a round. Welp, we have a problem, don't we? :P).
  3. To make it easier for folks to leave and join at will.
  4. To challenge you to work with different folks and their argumentative styles.
  5. Fancy said so

I don't know if this changes folks' mind about forming private chats and coming up with different strategies since you'll likely not be working with the same exact group of people again and you'd have to make new private groups for every round which seems exhausting, but I ain't about to dictate how you want to tackle this!

Hope this helps and I apologise for the mixup.

also shoutout to tel cuz i stole some of his wording (specifically, about reshuffling folks)
 
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#16
If the chocobo driver isn't the guy from the desert outside Corel prison, who is he? Sorry, just re-read the explanation.

Fancy, let me get this straight. I can kick this off by posting a post explaining why Luxiere would beat chocobo driver in a fight?
 

f a n c y

s y c a m o r e t r e e
AKA
Fancy
#17
He's the guy who steers the Chocobo carriage that Tifa rides to Don's place.



And yes! The moment that a player from either team presents an argument, I consider that the moment the 'round' has officially begun. You can try to upset any planning the other team may have by putting this pressure on them, haha.
 
#18
The thing we must never forget about Luxiere is that he's a SOLDIER 2nd class. Not everybody who tries to get into SOLDIER makes the cut (example: Cloud Strife) and not everybody who makes the cut gets promoted to 2nd. Luxiere is one of a select few.

Seconds are STRONG. I mean really superhuman. Maybe not a match for a 1st in his prime, but a more than a match for a weakened 1st, as Zack's battles with Genesis and Angeal at Modeoheim proved.

Seriously, 50 Shinra Infantrymen can't take a 2nd down, so what chance does this chocobo driver have? He's just one of Corneo's henchmen, his bones soggy from vitamin D deficiency after living so many years under the plate. He isn't even hired muscle. He drives the bird cart, for Shiva's sake! Plus, he was born with no eyes which means he can't see what he's swinging at. He won't last five seconds against the lightning reflexes and enhanced senses of our hero 2nd Class Luxiere!
 

f a n c y

s y c a m o r e t r e e
AKA
Fancy
#19

What's that sound?? Sounds like SHOTS BEING FIRED!!



Let the record show that the battle phase of Round 1-1 was initiated by Team Moogle on 4th May, 15:26 GMT.

All players have until...
6th May, 15:26 GMT
...to make their cases.

Here's a link to a time zone converter in case anyone needs it.

Best of luck!

 
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Minato

Gentleman Adventurer
AKA
Roger
#20
The 50 Shin-RA infantrymen challenge was issued to Zack Fair, who was never just any Second. Zack Fair was being trained to be First by Angeal since well before we begin Crisis Core. The entire reason Zack was issued this challenge in the first place is because he is an exceptionally industrious person who goes out of his way to help others through martial means, takes missions other SOLDIERs are too weak to handle and prides himself as being a protector of Midgar, something the Infantrymen have been given little reason to expect from SOLDIER otherwise.

And Luxiere is undoubtably the prime example of the complacent masses that depreciate the SOLDIER name, the ones that don't deign to exit their floor in Shin-RA HQ unless it is to board a helicopter to be towed to and from their assignments. He is not, as my counterpart would presume to tell you, “your hero”. Every single word out of Luxiere's mouth is either asking for leadership from Zack, expressing his admiration for his betters, lamenting how ill-equipped SOLDIER is too keep going without Lazard, until finally he asks Zack to surrender in his final message, in a last ditch effort to get through the assignment of capturing him without actually ever having to take the sword off his back.

Is this a man you'd trust to pull through when he finds himself in a one on one battle to the death in a strange environment?

Consider what he is up against. Our Chocobo Driver is always on the move as a solo operative, travelling from one corner of the monster-filled Planet to the other tearing three of the most beautiful young women in the world away from their family, friends or lovers away to be delivered as Corneo's would be bride to be every day. He is ruthless and methodical, well versed in how to intimidate someone into passivity for a long ride back to Wall Market without having to raise his hand against a pretty face to blemish it with bruises before presentation time.

This encounter places them in a stranger's home in a sudden desperate fight against an unknown assailant. This is a situation the chocobo driver has placed himself in hundreds if not thousands of time in his pursuit to find Corneo a worthy bride. Everything we know of Luxiere tells us he is a boy, who never expected to have to take care of himself in a grown-ups world.

Cid's home does not offer the standard supply of Materia that Luxiere can expect to be placed in his lunchbox at the onset of every trip out of HQ. It does however house an assault rifle and if it isn't locked and loaded already, surely ammo is stuffed somewhere in this home of a former fighter pilot. The most likely outcome of this encounter is the Chocobo Driver gunning down Luxiere who freezes up, finding himself alone and unequipped to deal with the harsh realities of what life on the Planet can be like for the unprivileged for the first time.
 

BforBrigitta

Too Angry™
AKA
B
#21
The thing we must never forget about Luxiere is that he's a SOLDIER 2nd class. Not everybody who tries to get into SOLDIER makes the cut (example: Cloud Strife) and not everybody who makes the cut gets promoted to 2nd. Luxiere is one of a select few.

Seconds are STRONG. I mean really superhuman. Maybe not a match for a 1st in his prime, but a more than a match for a weakened 1st, as Zack's battles with Genesis and Angeal at Modeoheim proved.

Seriously, 50 Shinra Infantrymen can't take a 2nd down, so what chance does this chocobo driver have? He's just one of Corneo's henchmen, his bones soggy from vitamin D deficiency after living so many years under the plate. He isn't even hired muscle. He drives the bird cart, for Shiva's sake! Plus, he was born with no eyes which means he can't see what he's swinging at. He won't last five seconds against the lightning reflexes and enhanced senses of our hero 2nd Class Luxiere!
Chocobo Driver may not have eyes, but he has charisma. So much charisma, in fact, that he's become a well-connected and highly respected figure in the slums. This motherfucker, ruthless and methodical, owns the hobo network in Midgar. He knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy.

He clubs his polygonal hands together and an army of street-hardened hobos are ready to fight for him, and they do.

You cry, they ain't even in Midgar! LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, that carriage is the original tardis and can transport his minions to rock humble old Rocket Town in a jiff. The hobos swarm Luxiere, grabbing chairs, tables, the rifles in Cid's room, gas tanks, pots and pans and lunge at him with their all. The Chocobo Driver opens the door to reveal his Chocobo and it spits in Luxiere's mouth, disarming him. While he's distracted by the foul taste of masticated gysal greens and saliva in his mouth, the hobos grab him. More hobos from the midgar slum appear out of the tardis!carriage and march through the door, angry at capitalism and angry at Shinra, and Luxiere is the perfect representative. Luxiere is supremely outnumbered!

Finally, Luxiere gets his bearings for long enough to remove his helmet, spitting out the last of the Chocobo muck from his mouth. As his vision returns, his acute claustrophobia stemming from a childhood trauma that his military training couldn't quite shake off, returns as he realises the tight space he's in amongst all the clamour from the crowd of hobos that surround him and he becomes paralysed with fear as the hobos enclose on him...

*fade to black*

Background SFX: BOOM BOOM POW POW POW
 
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Channy

Bad Habit
AKA
Channy, Aerith Gainsborough, Ruby Rose, Lucy
#25
“I’m following you until the end!”

Those are the words of a loyal SOLDIER, not just any SOLDIER, but a 2nd Class, good friend of the legendary Zack Fair. SOLDIER are more than just corporate dogs, they’re human, born and bred on ththe battlefield and with that comes undying comroderie, fealty to your fellow man whether he is above or below you in Class. Luxiere looked up to Zack, admired him without a shred of jealousy or ulterior motive to throw him under the bus.

“.....”

These are the words... wait, are there words? Oh right, this is a charismaticless shell of a character who isn’t even worth one word. The Chocobo Driver. A man not even worth a name. A man from the seedy underbelly of the slums whose sole purpose in life is to find and deliver whores to a deplorable man where they will be a one-time bride and if they don’t make the cut, get fed to his dogs with greedy fingers. “Time travel” is nothing if your job is to take women away from potential loved ones to a man who will pump em and dump em. He may be travelling across the cosmos of the time space continuum but he’s snatching women from their beds to deliver them to Don Corneo’s. A man truly without morals. A man without a name.
 
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