That's the scariest part of it all. KIDS read it. Kids read about a guy gnawing at his teenage wife's uterus.
Although this might help with the issue of overpopulation somewhat...
But the fact that this series promotes so many crap that kids shouldn't even be aware of is frightening.
10. Twilight promotes the following:
Teen pregnancy
Anti-humanism (throw away your humanity because you don't want to grow old in front of your pretty boyfriend? Suuuuure...)
Teen marriage
Necrophilia (ugh)
Pedophilia (eww)
Stalking
Everything I've read about the Twilight series makes me heave. I haven't read it, but after hearing about it I read about it, and it really does sound horrible. The characters sound hopelessly idealized, the plots thin and full of melodrama, and anti-climaxes, and while vampires are supposed to be demonic and evil monsters, it sounds like they're made out to be beautiful demi-gods. The whole series sounds like badly written fanfiction.
Another shattering crack inside her body, the loudest yet... Her legs, which had been curled up in agony, now went limp, sprawling out in an unnatural way. "Her spine," he choked in horror.
I read the first book back in the eighth grade and it still wasn't good. This was before it was revealed the series would be more than a one-shot. The prose is stilted and juvenile at best, and the characters have all of one dimension. Most people older than age 10 should be able to see how badly it's written.
Found a post of mine from another forum about the series.
Edward and Bella strike me as Mary-Sues. Bella basically gives up her family, her humanity and her life - while still in high school no less - to pursue her relationship with him. Maybe I'm outta the loop, but who here really finds their true love at 17? She gets two guys to fall in love with her, and she apparently becomes very popular at her school. Classic signs of an idealized character.
No offense to the guy, but if the actor who played Edward in the movie is what he's supposed to look like, then Eddie ain't attractive, and he certainly isn't beautiful. I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to say when I think a guy is attractive - he isn't. He seems to be idealized, based on how (according to what I've read) he's constantly raised on a pedestal based on his looks. Yeah, he's dark and brooding, we've never seen *that* before. And he doesn't sound much more appealing than Bella personality wise either, seems to continually push Bella away and argue with her and try and control her.
Vampires who are peaceful, vs vampires who aren't? Boring, that's so overdone. Really, anything with vampires is overdone anymore, you can't pull any surprises with this genre so why bother? Oh, and this uh, Jacob guy, falls in love with their kid because he senses she's his soul mate? Didn't Jacob love Bella like, the book before? Does no one find it weird that the daughter of a high-school student is the soul mate of one of her mother's former suitors? This is the kind of stuff you describe to a psychiatrist. And again, the timeframe here - Bella's not even in college and she's married with a kid and turned into a vampire? Like, WTF? Seems an over romanticizing of life.
I was interested in the books when I heard they were popular, but after reading about them I'm really put off. The books sound like bad fanfiction, to be honest. Uninspired plotlines and lousy characters, bleh.
You want to be entertained by a hot high-school girl falling in love with brooding vampires? Watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sure, Buffy's relationships with Angel and Spike are unhealthy and destructive, but their characters are actually cool.
Ah, the series is filled with massive lawls.
To think I thought there was nothing worse than going at it with a Popsicle, until I got that THAT part.
Bella's delivery was nothing compared to Jacob imprinting on the half-dead/half-alive baby.
I think there's a different word for deciding that a newborn is your soulmate, but I can't decide between "disgusting" and "ohgod pass the barf bucket".
srsly now, that's plain sick. The artist's impression is lulzy though, . But yeah, is that stuff aimed at kids? That's no goth teen love flick anymore, that's just plain tasteless gory horror. Like Saw, only then with
I think there's a different word for deciding that a newborn is your soulmate, but I can't decide between "disgusting" and "ohgod pass the barf bucket".
ITP: EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH TWILIGHT AND STEPHANIE MEYER
- What I find ironic about the birthing scene is Smeyer's reasonings. She didn't want to give a full blown sex scene because of her Mormonism, and it would be tacky. Yet she puts her reader's through the most abstract birthing process ever that has to include pelvis snapping, hip breaking, pretty much getting down on the floor but with blood.
- VampirexHuman is nothing new. It's probably one of my favourite pairings to read about because it can get so hot IF DONE RIGHT. I remember reading a creative fanfic (that didn't include pre-existing characters) about all the sexual desires Vampire's feel. Their blood lust goes hand in hand with their vagina lust. And if done right, it's really good.
You know, when it's not written for 14 year old girls and pretty much censored every good bit.
- Smeyer is an amateur. If you read her writing, actually read passages from the book, it's not good writing. It's all fluff. And she reuses several words throughout the books. Every character at least twice feels 'chagrined'. I kid you not. Everyone's chagrined, everyone murmurs, and vampire's dazzle. This pretty much encompasses Smeyer's books. You'd think for a rich bitch she'd invest in a thesaurus, or at least have a better choice of words than the vocabulary of a 15 year old. nowait, that's her target audience.
It's basically any Vampire love story, dumbed down and fluffed up to appeal to a pre-teen audience. And THAT is how she sells so much. Because pre-teen girls is pretty much the biggest audience you can ever sell to.
- Smeyer is conceited and afraid of critics. She didn't take creative writing as a course in college, AND she admitted to never having read any other Vampire book. Ever. She's said she'll 'get around to it' but she's afraid that 'other people's works will be too close to mine or too far away'.
Yes. Because yours is truly the work of art that all comparisons must revolve around.
- The second book probably has the least content to it, I don't know how they're doing the movie. It actually gets to a point where Bella's life is so dull since Edward's gone that it goes blank page "November" blank page "December". Yes, blank page after blank page telling us months are going by, and nothing's happening without Edward.
It's the single most sexist, anti-feminist series while just being short of Edward telling Bella to go back to the kitchen, bitch. Nowait, her dad does enough of that. Congrats Meyer.
I now leave you with my favourite literary work. A full on summary of the series
Once upon a time in a land known as Sporks there lived a musical Dazzle Sparkle and a sarcastic Dull Girl. When Dazzle Sparkle met Dull Girl there was an immediate spark of chemistry.
Dazzle Sparkle: Hi. Umm, you smell good.
Dull Girl: Hi. You're purty.
Dazzle Sparkle and Dull Girl spent much time debating - a passion that they both shared. *foreshadow*
Dazzle Sparkle: Guess what I am.
Dull Girl: I dunno.
Dazzle Sparkle: C'mon. Whaddya think I am?
Dull Girl: Comic book character?
Dazzle Sparkle: I has a secret. *chuckles*
One sunny day Dull Girl meets Stinky Boy on a beach.
Stinky Boy: I fix cars.
Dull Girl: Why is Sparkle family not allowed on beach?
Stinky Boy: Sparkle family is Meyerpires. The same Meyerpires.
Dull Girl decides she does not care.
Dull Girl: I knows your secret.
Dazzle Sparkle: Crap. *eyes narrow*
Dull Girl: Does not matter. I lurves you!
Dazzle Sparkle: Me Lion. You Lamb. Together we Limb.
Dazzle Sparkle introduced Dull Girl to his family.
Dr. Sparkle: Welcome.
Mrs. Sparkle: You are brave to come here. We will not harm you.
Jazz Sparkle: Speak for yourself. I will stand over here by this ever present and much talked about staircase and keep my distance.
One day along came a big, bad Meyerpire named Jimmy Sparkle.
Jimmy Sparkle: I bite you.
Dull Girl: Ouch! That hurts! Srsly, my hand is on fire.
Dazzle Sparkle: I saves you!
Em Sparkle: Jimmy tastes good! *high keening sound whatever that is*
Jazz Sparkle: I has a match.
Dazzle Sparkle and Dull Girl attend prom and are very happy. Sparkle Dance. Sparkle Dance. Twirl. Sparkle Dance. Sparkle Dance. Twirl.
Dull Girl: Make me a Meyerpire.
Dazzle Sparkle: No. Never.
Then one day Dull Girl gets a paper cut.
Dazzle Sparkle: Yeah. I don't want you.
Dull Girl: Oh. Okay.
Dull Girl is sad. She finds Stinky Boy and they open up a monster garage.
Stinky Boy: These cycles rule! Oh, BTW - I lurve you!
Dull Girl: Uh, okay. But my heart still belongs to Dazzle Sparkle. But I don't mind leading you on.
Stinky Boy: I must have low self-esteem because I'll take it.
Dull Girl: Hey, my sarcasm is back since Dazzle Sparkle left. Is that a cowinky dink?
BillyBob Onyx: You look weird.
Stinky Boy's heart & uh, everything else furslpodes.
Stinky Boy: I no longer want you Dull Girl. I too has a secret.
Dull Girl throws self off cliff.
Dull Girl: Extreme sports rule! Goodbye...world...angel...*gurgle*
Crazy Sparkle: Snap out of it Dull Girl! We must go save Dazzle Sparkle!
Dull Girl: Okay.
Dull Girl slams into Dazzle Sparkle.
Dazzle Sparkle: Dr. Sparkle was right! Amazing! *chiseled chest planes, cheek bones*
Up in a castle turret far away from the maddening crowd enjoying St. Rock Sparkle Day the fate of our three friends is being decided.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: Should we kill you? No, we can't. Such a waste! But we must! No, please join us young friends.
Angry Sparkle: No! The Meyerpire laws claim them!
Rock Sparkle: I don't care.
Crazy Sparkle: I will make Dull Girl a Meyerpire.
They exit the Vulture Sparkle Debate Team city walls.
Crazy Sparkle: I'm sure glad we talked our way out of that. I bet that never happens again. *foreshadow*
Dull Girl: Make me a Meyerpire.
Dazzle Sparkle: No. Never.
So all the Sparkles and Dull Girl return to Sporks to live happily ever after. Until...
Psycho Grudge Sparkle: I will kill you Dull Girl! Your Dazzle Sparkle killed my Jimmy Sparkle. *tosses orange bozo clown hair*
Dazzle Sparkle: I will not let you hurt Dull Girl.
Stinky Boy: Yeah! I has a werewolf now! I won't let you hurt Dull Girl either!
Fight. Fight. Em Sparkle enjoys himself. Fight. Fight.
* Since the mythical residents of Sporks will never see another fight again I'll indulge a little more here reader.*
Fight. Fight. Rip. Tear. Fire. Incense.
Stinky Boy: *slobbers all over Dull Girl* Stay with me Dull Girl. I lurves you.
Dull Girl: Yeah, no can do. Dazzle Sparkle is back and the fairy tale nightmare is back on. I mean, can't you tell? My sarcasm is gone again.
Dazzle Sparkle: I will lurves Dull Girl forever. Every single day of forever.
Dull Girl: Make me a Meyerpire.
Dazzle Sparkle: No. Never.
Wedding Gown. Crazy Sparkle decorations. Music. Vows. Sparkle Dance. Twirl. Isle Esme.
Dull Girl: If you don't make sweet salt water taffy lurve to me right now I will die!
Dazzle Sparkle: Okay.
Bitten pillow. Or two. Feathers. Bruises. Broken Headboard. Ripped Lingerie. *fade to black*
Dull Girl: I don't feel so good. *vomit fried chicken*
Dazzle Sparkle: Uh, we better get you home to Sporks. Me thinks you has a demon spawn.
Airport. Dull Girl runs to Barbie Sparkle.
Dr. Sparkle: We must get rid of demon spawn.
Dazzle Sparkle: Agreed. I'll just loan Dull Girl out to Stinky Boy and that will take care of the problem.
Dull Dirl: No! I keeps the baby! I lurve him!!!
Barbie Sparkle: I'll help you Dull Girl. Think of some utterly ridiculous names to name our, I mean your baby while I get you a sippy cup full of O negative goodness.
Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. Bones breaking. Vomit. Eyes bursting. Spine cracking.
Dull Girl: Make me a Meyerpire.
Dazzle Sparkle: Huh? Sure, why not. I was just messing around all those other times. I cares not for your soul. It's not like you'll have to sacrifice anything anyways.
TWO DAY BLACKOUT NOT CAUSED BY MEYERPIRE SEXIN.
Dull Girl Sparkle: OMG! I am a super Mary Sue Meyerpire. I don't care about human blood. *yawn* I am in control of all of my emotions instantly. Watch me hunt for dinosaurs in my pale blue designer dress. Grrr.
Jazz Sparkle: *hangs head in shame* I is a failure at tofu lifestyle.
Mrs. Sparkle: *presses hands to face*
Crazy Sparkle: Wait! I made you a closet! I want to recommend a lawyer to you!
Dull Girl Sparkle returns from hunt in ripped dress and missing her Manolo Blahnik's.
Dull Girl Sparkle: Where is my Sparkle baby?
Loch Ness Sparkle: I am here momma! I just finished reading War & Peace by Tolstoy. Let me show you. *presses hands to Dull Girl Sparkle face*
Dull Girl Sparkle: Okay, enough of that. I need me some more Meyerpire sexin. *fade to black*
Dull Girl Sparkle: Okay I am back. Give me my Sparkle baby Barbie sparkle. (Say that five times fast)
Stinky Boy: Guess what Dull Girl Sparkle? I lurve Loch Ness Sparkle! We will be together in seven years.
Dull Girl Sparkle: Noooo!!!!
Bing Bong
Dr. Sparkle: Someone's at the door. I'll get it. Why, it's the Vulture Sparkle Debate Team. Come on in.
Crazy Sparkle and Jazz Sparkle run away.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: We have come to kill the Tofu Sparkle Family Unit. You has a child ripped off from an Anne Rice novel.
Angry Sparkle: Yes, my precious! Kill them all!
Rock Sparkle: I don't care.
Dull Girl Sparkle: Don't worry. I'll protect us with my Mary Sue love shield.
Dazzle Sparkle: That won't be necessary. I can hear that they only want to debate us.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: We have decided to kill you.
Dazzle Sparkle: No.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: But, we just decided. C'mon.
Dazzle Sparkle: No.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: But -
Dazzle Sparkle No.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: Okay, we leave. Sorry to bother you.
Crazy Sparkle and Jazz Sparkle return.
Dull Girl Sparkle: Oh Dazzle Sparkle. Listen to my thoughts.
Dazzle Sparkle: Ewww! All you think about is Meyerpire sexin. Oh well. I guess it will be something to do for the next couple of centuries.
And so all the Sparkles lived happily ever after. The End. *fade to black*
I'm pretty sure this was said with some sarcasm, but I'm just going to reply to this: Fuck no, . Write a good book, and you'll have an audience ranging from kids that start to appreciate a good read, to 100-year-olds. That's the biggest audience. You know, like the Wii .
Of all the general single age groups you can market a product to, pre teen girls is by far the largest. And it wasn't even just them, stay at home mothers read this shit and fantasize about it too.
I demand marriage.
