Hi everyone. I hope it's alright to necro my own thread. I didn't feel like making a new one.
I often wondered when I would come back to TLS. I thought about it at the start of this year but it was too soon. Then I told myself I'd wait until I had some good news to share with you but there hasn't been any. Finally, I thought I'd wait for the Remake to get a release date, but after stopping by to watch your E3 restream in the early hours of this morning, it still doesn't feel right.
This past year has been the hardest of my life. After I left, I realised I just don't know how to interact with other people properly. I thought the best way to avoid conflict was to stay emotionally distant and treat everyone the same. I was wrong. I acted that way through selfishness, not to avoid problems but to avoid blame. Despite recognising that behaviour in myself, I didn't know how to replace it, and I still don't.
This thread is titled "leave of absence" but I've come to decide I should leave TLS for good. There are a few loose ends to tie up: I still have full access to the front page via Wordpress; I'm still able to manage the TLS Twitch channel through my own account; and I probably still have FTP/SCP credentials, though if I do, I've long since forgotten them and they're not saved on my computer. I haven't and never would abuse those powers but it's still best from a security standpoint that you remove them. Regarding the front page, I had planned to rewrite part of it so the first three articles don't need Javascript to be displayed - a feature inherited from the base Fraction theme - but I obviously won't be doing that now. I still think it would be a worthwhile thing to do if you can find someone with basic PHP knowledge and a bit of time on their hands.
I feel I should mention FFXIV. I left the TLS Free Company a couple of months ago because I wanted to take advantage of the free world transfer period to sell my small private house in Shirogane. When I came back to Cerberus, I was without an FC for a while as I considered what to do. It didn't feel appropriate to rejoin the TLS FC - or at least ask to be reinvited - when I no longer had much of a connection to the community, so I ended up starting an FC from scratch instead. There are no hard feelings on my end; I haven't removed any of you from my friends list and I'll happily /wave to you when I see you in Shadowbringers. FFXIV is pretty much the only social interaction I get these days so I hope it won't be weird.
I still remember the giddy sense of excitement I felt to be part of this community when the Remake was announced. It's hard to believe that was four years ago. I miss that feeling. You've grown and improved since I left, and while I'd never try to take the credit, I'm proud that I helped lay the groundwork. You're going to soar even higher next year, I'm sure.
I miss all of you, too. I'm sorry if I treated you badly. If you ever want or need to contact me, my Discord tag is in the original post of this thread. Flintlock out.
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