New forum for member feedback

[Cookie Monster]

 

[Zee]

 

[Octo]

Ok people, infract me for pseudo modding here if you have to. but can we just cool our jets and draw a line under this for now? Were waiting for the relevant details to be revealed so until then we should go and eat some toast or something.

And probably separate this discussion from the thread.

 

[Hisako]

Um, shouldn't this latest discussion be split out?

this

This thread was originally for everyone to weigh their opinions into the new section, and then when after everyone pitched in a thought it turned into something else entirely

Were waiting for the relevant details to be revealed so until then we should go and eat some toast or something.

and also, sleep.

 

[Dashell]

this

This thread was originally for everyone to weigh their opinions into the new section, and then when after everyone pitched in a thought it turned into something else entirely

Welcome to TLS

 

[looneymoon]

How dare I point out hypocrisy to a hypocrite. I should know how badly that tends to go over.

Are you saying no one asked for my opinion or

I feel that rishi needs to weigh in on this

GASP!!!!

 

[Zee]

Next time I'll just start posting before I catch up on the thread and understand what is going on then, shall I?

my bad i just figured if you had time to post about avatar you could at least pop in and say hey guys i'm gonna play catch up i'll post here later

 

[Hisako]

Welcome to TLS

oh you

my bad i just figured if you had time to post about avatar you could at least pop in and say hey guys i'm gonna play catch up i'll post here later

iirc somewhere very early on in the thread she did?

 

[Fangu]

Ok so this turned into another novel. Please excuse the wall of text.

Since I do spend a lot of time with Ryu I just have to weight in on this. I like you, Rishi, I think you are the voice of reason regarding a lot of stuff on TLS, and if you didn't have trust issues with certain members you can't take a step forward to solve, I would have suggested you as mod in a heartbeat.

I think it's sad you won't even try to get to know Ryu. I mean I can understand why, please don't get me wrong - I totally understand if you can't.

Ryu has creeped out female members in the past. Yes he has. He creeped me out a couple of times at first. I don't know if it's the not using smileys or not thanking posts or just the way he types, but I had to get to know Ryu before I could proper understand (and enjoy!) Ryu's posts.

Ryu isn't some creep, he's just a normal dude who just types very pedantic - however he does have a heart. Problematically, because of said heart, he also gets offended and hurt, and when he does get hurt (from being misunderstood or writing weird posts nobody really gets, ending up in him getting snarky replies), he tends to take a few jokes extra far. I'm not sure if he does this on purpose - I sure hope not, but if he did, it wouldn't make him less human that any of us. It's not okay, of course; both because he can offend people, but also because it puts himself in trouble and it makes the mod team look bad.

Before I make Ryu sound like a bad apple, let me just add that he's one of the most genuinely helpful people I've ever met online. He's kind, and he doesn't deserve the 'reputation' he's picked up here. Is some of it his own fault? Yeah sure, probably. I believe there is always 2 sides to a conflict.

You have to give and take. Rishi had you talked to Ryu a few times and you'd learned to trust each other, this creeping out thing wouldn't happen anymore. This is my personal opinion and of course everyone who wants to are free to disagree. But I think getting creeped out by an avatar, a user name and a few lines of text is because we really have no idea who the person behind the 'mask' is. Chat, Skype, whatever, and you'll see behind the mask. Contrary to,say, Sylvie, Ryu has never withheld information about who he is, where he lives etc. He's not trying to hide in the bushes.

Getting offended IS serious business, but you can't expect everyone to understand where you're coming from, or even sympathize with you. Remember that little thread called "Anti-thanks?" Several members addressed an issue that's been bothering them - offending them. The topic was debated - there was NO Staff discussion about the topic in the Staff section - the only mod responses that was given was Road saying "people get the fuck over yourselves, this system has lasted for years and it's not gonna change. This is ridiculous gtfo", and then Aaron closing the thread, right after Octo and I said 'all right, fine. We don't agree, but we're gonna leave it with the agreeing to disagree'.

And you know what? We got the fuck over ourselves. (At least Octo and I did ) I don't like the way that system works because of how it can look (and have looked) to new members, but fine. It's there, and it is what it is, and it's staying. The majority wants it that way.

However, what I wanted was not to get rid of the thanks system. It was to at least have debated the issue, and for people to at least consider that what they're doing are hurting other people. The replies I got back in that thread wasn't even near 'ok I see your point', it was straight to - nope, not gonna happen, you are ridiculous, 'JUST STOP IT'. Even so, I as the offended party decided to accept it, and move on. Did I feel alienate from TLS because of it? Sure. It made me stop posting in a little while. It made me trust Staff less as all I got was a 'gtfo' and a closed thread closed by the decision of 1 mod alone. But in the end I saw the situation from bird's view. No, I chose to see the situation from bird's view. Anyone can do this, but it does require stepping out of your own shell for a while and it's super hard and some days I just can't do it because I feel small and hurt and I'd rather have my friends yell 'stupid people' along with me than actually trying to understand the situation as a whole. We have to move forward and not be stuck in old tracks. But to do that, we have to accept there are different opinions - and stating your opinions in a civil manner always helps. If you don't agree with the member, at least acknowledge they see something as a problem.

This applies to mods a lot. It appears that some of the staff was unprofessional in the way they addressed this particular issue being debated in this thread. It doesn't matter if you can't understand the conflict - if you can't, leave it to someone who can.

Conflicts can be complex, and it's important that any underlying reason is dealt with or at least explained when filing a report. The mod team tries to act by rules. They try to line up a report with a rule, and yes they might get lost in the technicalities, but that's because they're trying to be fair. It's very hard to be fair in cases based almost purely on human relations. I remember this from when I was modding so some of it might not apply to TLS, but if there's an emotional conflict, the best way (as in real life!) is to sit down the parties and have them fight/ talk it out.

People want to be heard. It's amazing how much conflict you can solve with a bit of human compassion. In that anti-thanks conflict, I wasn't looking for people to agree with me, or do as I told them, or get my way. I was looking for addressing my views and at least been heard. I believe the core of some members not trusting the staff doesn't come from not anything being done, but they feel that their problems aren't being taken serious. I think most of the time, your problems are being taken serious, it's just that in a lot of the cases it's hard to come up with a solution, and the mods tries to think of possible solutions (heck they're mostly men! /sexistjoke) whereas the problem in hand here isn't that there is a problem that needs to be solved, but that the persons needs to be heard.

I'm not saying the mod team is perfect. Watching from behind the curtains, I see flaws. But overall they intend to do good.

I have to say, Road, you understand this forum better than anyway and I trust you 100%. Even when I don't seem to agree with what you say at a specific moment, in hindsight it turns out you're almost always right.

I'm driving north today btw so I might be afk for the next 10 hours.

 

[Tetsujin]

my bad i just figured if you had time to post about avatar you could at least pop in and say hey guys i'm gonna play catch up i'll post here later

Like this?
http://thelifestream.net/forums/showpost.php?p=448123&postcount=81

 

[Hisako]

fangu please marry me before you leave

;3;

 

[Zee]

iirc somewhere very early on in the thread she did?

23 hours ago

.................................

Rishi had you talked to Ryu a few times and you'd learned to trust each other, this creeping out thing wouldn't happen anymore.

wow i cant with this post wow

as though rishi hasn't been a member of the forums for a good while and can't form a judgement about a person through that period of time

because it's impossible to get a sense of someone through their posts right

It's amazing how much conflict you can solve with a bit of human compassion. In that anti-thanks conflict, I wasn't looking for people to agree with me, or do as I told them, or get my way.

 

[Celes Chere]

I think it's sad you won't even try to get to know Ryu. I mean I can understand why, please don't get me wrong - I totally understand if you can't.

That's not true, she has known Ryu since FFF, dunno if you guys were on ACF at all but yeah. Also interacted over at the Cloti Forums too. If Rishi doesn't get along with someone than she simply doesn't get along with them and that's that. Some people don't connect.... that's life.

You have to give and take. Rishi had you talked to Ryu a few times and you'd learned to trust each other, this creeping out thing wouldn't happen anymore.

Lol that's not how life works. If you don't trust someone and they creep you out then uh.. what can you do seriously. You can't just LEARN to trust someone.

at least consider that what they're doing are hurting other people.

Saying thank you = hurting people
what I can't even

http://thelifestream.net/forums/show...3&postcount=81

posted 23 hours ago
you can read a harry potter book in under that amount of time

 

[Vendel]

The new section doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Not sure if it is a good idea or even needed. But it can't hurt to have it around for a bit.

 

[Hisako]

posted 23 hours ago
you can read a harry potter book in under that amount of time

Harry Potter is brainless entertainment.
This is serios bizness.

 

[Zee]

You can't just LEARN to trust someone.

To add to this, trust is earned. mods like Mog and Road earn trust when they handle situations and forum drama like fucking adults. Ryu running behind Rishi's back isn't adult, much less mod, behavior.

 

[looneymoon]

Fangu

So it's on me to get to know and sympathize with someone I find creepy, and has consistently shown creepy behaviour for a very long time.

GOOD TO KNOW!

You know if I were planning on staying on this forum I for sure will never report a post ever again because
fuck
wow

HAHAHA NOPE I SHOULDN'T REPORT SHIT I FIND CREEPY I SHOULD MAKE FRIENDS INSTEAD EVEN IF THAT PERSON CLEARLY MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.

No. That is a really fucking stupid thing to say and shouldn't be expected of anybody ever.

 

[Tetsujin]

posted 23 hours ago
you can read a harry potter book in under that amount of time

yeah

if you have no life

Sometimes you need to take your time with issues like these and reading everything carefully.

And that is in your free time, after work and dealing with whatever real life stuff you have to deal with. Of course a quick response is favorable but ultimately you don't know *what* is keeping someone from posting.

No one is obliged to respond to an issue right away. Let people take their time, even if it the wait is annoying. Modding isn't anyone's full time job.

 

[looneymoon]

Hey guys

you shouldn't get mad at people like DLPB or Wander or Sylvie

you have to get to know them and be their friend before your offense to them can be taken as legitimate.

 

[Octo]

Ok people, infract me for pseudo modding here if you have to. but can we just cool our jets and draw a line under this for now?

No Octo you stupid cunt why would you even say such a thing?

 

[Cookie Monster]

I was just reading that Anti-thanks thread. It should be marked as a classic. There were some solid macros and gifs there, and Alex was just gold.

 

[Celes Chere]

yeah

if you have no life

wow fuck you maybe i read at a decent pace

Hey guys

you shouldn't get mad at people like DLPB or Wander or Sylvie

you have to get to know them and be their friend before your offense to them can be taken as legitimate.

don't worry you can learn to trust them just read the manual

 

[Tennyo]

my bad i just figured if you had time to post about avatar you could at least pop in and say hey guys i'm gonna play catch up i'll post here later

But what would be the point in adding a one liner post where I wasn't really saying anything?

Maybe you just need to be patient.

I was thinking about it, but I was too preoccupied crying while watching Silence of the Lambs.

Anyways, I'm just going to post the PMs I've sent Road. This will hopefully be the only thing I will need to say on the issue.

Spoiler: pm1 in response to this thread

Considering I know for a fact I have personally been bitched about BY A MOD and POSSIBLY SERVERAL simply for the fact that I did nothing more than reporting an offensive post

well

I'm sorry if that doesn't inspire much confidence in the current team :')

and I don't know if it was actually on the mod forum, or through pm, or outside of the forum completely but the fact that the forum does have private outlet for mods to do this, and has been CONFIRMED BY DACON IN THE THREAD THAT THEY DO

that is completley unacceptable.

Sure I can maybe air my grievances in a private forum where all the mods can respond to me. I'm sure that would work fine if I had an issue with the normal trolls we get here. But if I ever have an issue with a mod? No apparently I'm not allowed to be fucking offended, and it'd be so much fun having the mod in question as well as a good portion of the rest of the team dogpiling me to shut up and get over it. Even if they do something that a regular member would get infracted or even banned for.

Sorry but this bullshit secularism is keeping the management of this forum away from the memberbase and completely in the hands of moderation. Since a lot of the problems here are caused by the fact that members don't trust the mods... this just seems like more bullshit where nothing actually changes.

and yes i am fucking mad because i wasn't the only person who reported the offending post. Yet for some reason while another member was issued an apology, I was bitched about in a private forum/in a pm/msn/irc/whatever. How funny! That sure does make it super comfortable to pm any of you privately to sort shit out. Real great job you're doing here guys.

An infraction would have been fine and I would've just moved on. An apology would've been nice, but not expected. But no, instead this whole fucking investigation has to be launched and I get fucking called out in an area where I can't even fucking defend myself.

That's fucked up Road. That is REALLY fucked up. At this point I just really wish I had never reported it in the first place because this whole thing has caused a lot of anxiety to flare up.

I have honestly lost a lot of faith in the handling of shit here. I feel incredibly alienated and disrespected. It makes me not want to be part of this community at all to be honest.

Spoiler: pm 2

I strongly disagree with the first sentence [about the lack of mocking people in the staff thread] but I'm not going to comment on that again for now because it's caused me enough stress for one day.

Anyways I think this is ridiculous over the fact I made a report over something that I found legitimately very problematic. I don't think it's within anyone's right - staff or otherwise - to tell people what to be offended by and why. Also the fact that [MEMBER NAME REDACTED], who also reported the post and received an apology, was discouraged from reporting posts altogether [by Ryu].

Spoiler: on why i don't want to post here anymore, and why i was hesitant airing this out on the boards

I'm in a corner where if I feel creeped out/uncomfortable with the person I have the issue with, and therefore have no desire to confront him about it.

The mod team has been no help and a good portion of the active ones have done nothing but mock me in a private forum. Not to mention the lot of you are lying to the faces of the members about that kind of shit not happening in there.

If I were to express my grievances publicly, then that will only fuel the mocking. I don't want to be accused of shit-stirring or drama-whoring or whatever.

So I'm officially stuck in a corner. I'm out. I've let the people I do actually trust on this forum know what my grievances are and why, and if they want to take it up with you guys then that's fine. But as for me, I'm out. I don't need to deal with bullshit and mockery all because I did something I was encouraged to do in the first place - report a post that I found creepy.

[as for making the report public] Go for it. Though tbh some of the talk was taken off-site as well. Not to mention I don't put it past anyone to go back and mass edit their posts, if they already haven't.

IMHO I have no problem making it public. I already shared how I felt about it in there.

I'd be willing to go copy/paste or move the thread right now if all parties be willing.

 

[Lord Noctis]

No Octo you stupid cunt why would you even say such a thing?

If its any consolation that post of your was one of the most intelligent things that has been said in this thread for a long time IMO.

 

[looneymoon]

Octo I already stated I don't intend to post here anymore after this situation.

I am mad and have no intention of dealing with this baby high school bullshit with civility.

In fact I am waiting for the infractions I very sorely deserve and am really surprised and disappointed the mods haven't done that yet.