Resident Evil: Afterlife

[Tetsujin]

RE5 certainly didn't live up to the expectations after the 4th, but I don't think it was necessarily bad. It certainly should've been a much better game though. Like seriously.

I like Wesker, he's one of my favorite characters. I'm glad they finally tied his ass up with one epic showdown with Chris.

Now hopefully he will stay dead and can die a badass and not turn in the RE equivalent of Bowser, with Chris as Mario.

Well, at least they have the balls to kill off a fan favorite.

But it was still "meh". And the movies are beyond "meh". The first one isn't too bad though. At least it's still about "survival", and not about "LOL AWESOEM POWAHZ". Seriously.

The movies are called "Resident Evil" but I think Alice is actually playing Devil May Cry or something.

 

[Max Payne]

This film looks terrible right down to the special effects.

RE5 was a terrible game that made Wesker even more of a terrible character, with a terrible story even for an RE game. The only good thing about that piece of shit in Mercenaries, oh and Jill and Execella's character models.

 

[Tetsujin]

The only good thing about that piece of shit in Mercenaries, oh and Jill and Execella's character models.

But they made Jill blonde.

She's still hot in the flashbacks though.

 

[Max Payne]

But they made Jill blonde.

She's still hot in the flashbacks though.

I didn't like the blonde shit either, but I take bigger issue with the series' baddest female character being turned into a goddamn damsel in distress and her having to be "saved".

The game also had a really shitty selection of enemies. Remember when RE had zombies, then OMFG Crimson heads, and then OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT monsters that could kill you in one hit? RE5 has no real memorable monsters or sequences. It's all generic action movie shit, and tentacles.

 

[Celes Chere]

but I take bigger issue with the series' baddest female character being turned into a goddamn damsel in distress and her having to be "saved".

AGREED. I was fine with her being saved, but afterwards, she did NOTHING and it pissed me the fuck off. >=( I thought we'd get to ditch Sheva and her inane comments, but that was too much to hope for apparently.

 

[Max Payne]

Sheva was literally only there to look pretty and get killed by everything(unless you're playing co-op or on the easiest difficulty, but even then can fuck up royally).

 

[Makoeyes987]

That's what Desperate Escape is for.

And no memorable monsters? I have to disagree. The Executioner, Reaper, U-8, and the huge ass Uroboros Aheri are pretty damn memorable. And that's of course not including Wesker himself.

 

[Max Payne]

That's what Desperate Escape is for.

And no memorable monsters? I have to disagree. The Executioner, Reaper, U-8, and the huge ass Uroboros Aheri are pretty damn memorable. And that's of course not including Wesker himself.

Desperate Escape is ok at best.

Wow, a fat guy with a bag on his head, a giant bug, and a giant Spider. I haven't seen those before! Shit's generic as hell, and the encounters are so laughably easy to overcome. SHOOT THE GLOWING SHIT DERP.

All of the Wesker boss fights are poorly designed at that. Dozens of people couldn't get through them without an assload of trouble shooting, and even then got throw them without ever realising some of the shit you could do in them.

RE5 is a mediocre action game, you know this, stop defending it.

 

[Makoeyes987]

Desperate Escape is ok at best.

I was kidding about that part, to be honest. I much preferred Lost in Nightmares.

Wow, a fat guy with a bag on his head, a giant bug, and a giant Spider. I haven't seen those before! Shit's generic as hell, and the encounters are so laughably easy to overcome. SHOOT THE GLOWING SHIT DERP.

Hey, RE5 is probably the weakest in the series, you don't have to tell me that. But we don't have to sell it short. It did have some awesome monster designs, and I definitely think the Executioner was one of them. Not as nightmare inducing as the Garrador or Verdugo, but still pretty damn badass. The hooks, nails, piercisings, and blood coupled with that huge ass..axe thing is pretty damn itimidating.

Fuck whatever you say about the Reapers, they're fucking horrible. I HATE roaches. That's something out of a nightmare to me. Giant fucking roaches that tear you apart is pretty fucking horrifying in my eyes.

U-8 is more than just a spider. It's...a lot of different things.

All of the Wesker boss fights are poorly designed at that. Dozens of people couldn't get through them without an assload of trouble shooting, and even then got throw them without ever realising some of the shit you could do in them.

RE5 is a mediocre action game, you know this, stop defending it.

I'm not defending it, I'm just trying to point out the things it DID do well. It did have awesome visuals at the very least. Wesker's fights were easy but they were still fun and epic. Hell, Wesker in Lost in Nightmares is actually the hardest version of him, too.

 

[Max Payne]

You are a fucking pussy, and no, they're paltry designs. You're just trying to justify your purchase son.

 

[Makoeyes987]

You just can't think of anything good about RE5, you jaded bastard.

 

[Max Payne]

I already mentioned things about this that were good.

 

[looneymoon]

AGREED. I was fine with her being saved, but afterwards, she did NOTHING and it pissed me the fuck off. >=( I thought we'd get to ditch Sheva and her inane comments, but that was too much to hope for apparently.

"COME ON"
"I can't right now"
"COME ON"
"Forget it!"

...yeah, screw you AI Sheva. I always just give her a shit machine gun or hand gun.

and I enjoyed RE5. If I were to criticize it, there'd be a lot to say sure. But sometimes I just want to play something without having to acknowledge the bad. I say this mainly because co-op mode was fun as hell. I really enjoyed that.

 

[Max Payne]

Re5 can be fun with a friend. Even moreso in Mercenaries(i STILL PLAY IT). That doesn't excuse the shitloads wrong with it :/

 

[Celes Chere]

Lol, Looney... why do you waste your bullets? You can't trust that bitch with anything. Not even health, because surprise, SHE FUCKS THAT UP TOO.

*Chris gets hit one time*
Sheva: OMG I'LL HEAL YOU.

It is ONLY fun with friends. Alone, it's kind of hard to tolerate. Mercenaries is hella fun... but no one wants to play anymore. T_T

 

[looneymoon]

Re5 can be fun with a friend. Even moreso in Mercenaries(i STILL PLAY IT). That doesn't excuse the shitloads wrong with it :/

Not saying that it does. I'm just saying that I enjoyed the game is all

Hell, I enjoyed CC and FFXIII while playing them but I'm not blind to the shit wrong with them. I'm just quicker to voice those things out because it makes me feel like I fit in </3

Anyways, the last time I tried to play with a friend of mine it downloaded this add-on that overwrote my previous file. So I'm going through it again to get all my costumes and shit back =\

 

[Tetsujin]

So anyway. Back to the movie.

Hooray for generic matrixy action and mediocre effects.

 

[Interslicery]

it was badass how he threw his sunglasses at the viewer, thats gonna look pimp in 3d!

 

[Tetsujin]

it was badass how he threw his sunglasses at the viewer, thats gonna look pimp in 3d!

I dislike gimmicky 3D effects like that.

I like how 3D gives you the illusion of depth and stuff, I don't need shit thrown out of the screen into my face all the time.
And the trailer gives off the impression that's what they're going for. =/

 

[Hisako]

it was badass how he threw his sunglasses at the viewer

Hell yes

thats gonna look pimp in 3d!

Hell no



3D in film is, and will be, for the forseeable future, either a non-essential film technique or a cheap gimmick.

But Wesker looks very, very badass in this movie. A pity the rest of the movie looks like shit.

 

[Interslicery]

as it seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I shall go to bed at this time

 

[Tetsujin]

I was aware of it actually.

 

[Hisako]

My point still stands either way.

 

[Makoeyes987]

Honestly, I won't lie and deny that I'm probably going to enjoy the moments with Wesker being badass. Like...moments where he throws his sunglasses at you, punches you in the face really hard, and then catches them and puts them back on before they even touch the ground.

You know, since we know Wesker is dead in RE5. Something's occurred to me while playing "Lost in Nightmares." Albert Wesker isn't the only surviving Wesker child. There was another one, Alex Wesker, who was working with Spencer to find a means to immortality. Apparently he found it, pulled a Wesker, and took the results with him, and was never heard from again.

I wonder if another RE game will feature this new Wesker....?

 

[Tetsujin]

Oh Jesus, no.