Sporking FFVII Badfic!!

[wander]

You know what would be a hilariously bad fic?

Star Trek x FFVII.

Captain Kirk battles the war criminal known as Sephiroth OKOKOU in order to establish a federation trust with the planet designated Midgar.

Our planet... the first frontier. These are the brief travels of the city train 003. Its purpose: to revisit the same stations on its given route each day; to drop off existing life at already discovered pockets of civilization; to quietly meander where many people commute on a regular basis.

 

[Unlucky]

You know what would be a hilariously bad fic?

Star Trek x FFVII.

Captain Kirk battles the war criminal known as Sephiroth OKOKOU in order to establish a federation trust with the planet designated Midgar.

Our planet... the first frontier. These are the brief travels of the city train 003. Its purpose: to revisit the same stations on its given route each day; to drop off existing life at already discovered pockets of civilization; to quietly meander where many people commute on a regular basis.

It's a shame sephirothslave is too butthurt to write any more Sephiroth OKOKOU fics.. but if Mumble and Wander should collaborate for this then I promise I'll read

 

[Super Mario]

Spock attuned his device that he uses to scout various planets with. They have been beamed down into this strange world inhabited by a lifeform of unknown origin, where they literally can sense the planet's lifelines through the systems of The Enterprise.


Kirk wandered around with his phasers set to stun, should any foolish local lifeform dare impede in the paths of these explorers.

"Captain, I am picking up a particular lifesign 2 clicks from our current position. It is logical we investigate the odd disturbances," Spock concluded.

"Yes, Mr. Spock...It is a marvelous find, this planet...What with billions of others clustered about ... Yet this one remains, seemingly untouched and teeming with life...It would be wise to establish a federation post here won't you say?"


"Indeed so, sir. We are ready whenever you are," Spock indicated.


"Captain's log Stardate 4-2281, we have been ordered by Admiral Archer to investigate this rouge planet recently discovered in the rifts of the galaxy. Mr. Spock and a few of my men have decided to conduct a thorough observation. Mr. Spock has discovered a lifesign of sorts and we are proceeding steadfast. I can't imagine what potential this planet has, as Mr. Spock indicated that it is somewhat like a lifeform of sorts...A Lifestream flows from within the crust of this planet."


Kirk's crew came to an abrupt stop at a destroyed facility, now reeking with fungi and other disgusting life from within. A post indicates that this was a laboratory, designated ShinRa. Kirk beckoned his men and Spock to move forward as they prepare to venture to within this wrecked abode's inner halls to find this lifeform Spock claims to still be breathing.

The half Vulcan spots a file at the counter of the derelict, reaching out, he began reading and scanning the anomaly.


"Fascinating..."

"What is this place, Spock?"

"It appears to be an old energy providing plant of some sort. It appears they have been using this...Lifestream to power everyday tools, most likely this planet's own electricity supply. Not only that, old records indicate that they've used some substance called Mako to power their soldiers," Spock explained.

"What you mean like Khan?"

"Precisely. And it appears they have a champion amongst these super soldiers."

Kirk gulped in terror as to who might this individual be.


"He appears to be a former war criminal known as Sephiroth...Okokou..."

All men suddenly burst into laughter, filling the derelict with hilarious cries of uncontrollable humour.



Beneath the bowels of the Shinra facility, their worst adversary, Sephiroth Okokou awakened at the noise of laughter.



<to be continued>

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Scotty and Reeve would get on well together. Very well, if you catch my drift.
Rufus/Kirk (you know you want this pairing. Just think about it. Go on.)
Sulu/Tseng
Uhura/Barret
Bones/Hojo/Lucretia
Red Shirt guy/Vincent (inevitable death/tragic angsting and self-blame)
Spock/Aerith
These are the voyagers of my ship.

You know what would also be awesome? Kirk/Tifa.

Oh, and I found this:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5163994/1/Harvest_Moon

 

[Unlucky]

They must get away quickly from the Gary Stu powers of the Okokou!

Rufus/Kirk (you know you want this pairing. Just think about it. Go on.)

How about a RufusxKirkxTseng LT? I want.

 

[Tsunami Shijo]

AWESOME BEGINNING OF FANFIC

This is awesome and it must continue

They must get away quickly from the Gary Stu powers of the Okokou!




How about a RufusxKirkxTseng LT? I want.

For Juliaverse!Rufus this would work, since she made him flamboyantly gay. Like REALLY flaming like Ifrit's Hellfire gay. And he hits on Sephiroth in an elevator and this is irrelevant but I know there's a doujinshi out there where this happens.

 

[Kai Schulen]

That would be HUMAZING.

You're in luck, I had the guy do not one, but TWO recordings!

http://www.mediafire.com/?setolwhr707lu6f,w23nhdkusuqzicp

Though said recordings are that of Sephislave's astral thing with Seph, and not the fic. I also thought that one of them had a short animation to go with on youtube, but I guess not!

 

[Super Mario]

This is awesome and it must continue .

Lol you imagine what happens next. I only lit the candle, someone needs to throw the fuel and wax to make it burn brighter.

 

[Octo]

Sulu/Tseng

No, Sulu, Tseng and Spock!

Uhura/Barret

But Star Trek was famous for breaking the interacial kiss boundary!

Bones/Hojo/Lucretia

"Damn it man! I'm a Doctor not a psychopath!" I actually think Cid/Bones would be a good match. Or even Cid/Scotty.

Oh, and I found this:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5163994/1/Harvest_Moon

OMG!

 

[Ryushikaze]

It's from the same author, squirrelking, who was said to be a troll. I don't know if that's true but it's funnier if he isn't.

^made me laugh more than "Sephiroth OKOKOU"

He's IIRC, Russian, and just writes fanfics to learn/ practice English. I heard he loves the videos people made for for life consequences.

You know what would be a hilariously bad fic?

Star Trek x FFVII.

Captain Kirk battles the war criminal known as Sephiroth OKOKOU in order to establish a federation trust with the planet designated Midgar.

I am suddenly reminded of the Ranma 1/2 Star Trek TNG/DS9 fanfic I MSTed way back when.

She did begin Shinra High when she was 12, but by the time chapter 27 or so rolls around, she was already 18 years old. So she began the fanfic when she was 12 but continued working on it until she was 19 and tried to do a rewrite (only got 9 chapters in, which have also been sporked) when she was maybe 21 or 22.

She can't seem to decide what kind of fanfic it is... it's definitely AU, but she tries to make things fit in with canon, which just DOESN'T WORK when you have disregarded so much of it in the first place.

If it was completely written when she was 12, as she seems to be claiming now... well.... I think I mentioned the torture, rape, genocide, suicide, incest, murder, infanticide, and that's just scratching the surface.

The first one sounds familiar. The second one sounds terrifying. Also Hyperbole and a Half ftw.

THIS SOUNDS AMAZING.

I MSTed the second one. Would you like to see?

Spock attuned his device that he uses to scout various planets with. They have been beamed down into this strange world inhabited by a lifeform of unknown origin, where they literally can sense the planet's lifelines through the systems of The Enterprise.


Kirk wandered around with his phasers set to stun, should any foolish local lifeform dare impede in the paths of these explorers.

"Captain, I am picking up a particular lifesign 2 clicks from our current position. It is logical we investigate the odd disturbances," Spock concluded.

"Yes, Mr. Spock...It is a marvelous find, this planet...What with billions of others clustered about ... Yet this one remains, seemingly untouched and teeming with life...It would be wise to establish a federation post here won't you say?"


"Indeed so, sir. We are ready whenever you are," Spock indicated.


"Captain's log Stardate 4-2281, we have been ordered by Admiral Archer to investigate this rouge planet recently discovered in the rifts of the galaxy. Mr. Spock and a few of my men have decided to conduct a thorough observation. Mr. Spock has discovered a lifesign of sorts and we are proceeding steadfast. I can't imagine what potential this planet has, as Mr. Spock indicated that it is somewhat like a lifeform of sorts...A Lifestream flows from within the crust of this planet."


Kirk's crew came to an abrupt stop at a destroyed facility, now reeking with fungi and other disgusting life from within. A post indicates that this was a laboratory, designated ShinRa. Kirk beckoned his men and Spock to move forward as they prepare to venture to within this wrecked abode's inner halls to find this lifeform Spock claims to still be breathing.

The half Vulcan spots a file at the counter of the derelict, reaching out, he began reading and scanning the anomaly.


"Fascinating..."

"What is this place, Spock?"

"It appears to be an old energy providing plant of some sort. It appears they have been using this...Lifestream to power everyday tools, most likely this planet's own electricity supply. Not only that, old records indicate that they've used some substance called Mako to power their soldiers," Spock explained.

"What you mean like Khan?"

"Precisely. And it appears they have a champion amongst these super soldiers."

Kirk gulped in terror as to who might this individual be.


"He appears to be a former war criminal known as Sephiroth...Okokou..."

All men suddenly burst into laughter, filling the derelict with hilarious cries of uncontrollable humour.



Beneath the bowels of the Shinra facility, their worst adversary, Sephiroth Okokou awakened at the noise of laughter.



<to be continued>

They have roused the wrath of Chickenroth!

No, Sulu, Tseng and Spock!

But Star Trek was famous for breaking the interacial kiss boundary!

"Damn it man! I'm a Doctor not a psychopath!" I actually think Cid/Bones would be a good match. Or even Cid/Scotty.

Cid and Scotty would be an interesting pair, even entirely devoid of the shipping nonsense, especially since one's an engineer, one's an engineer captain.

 

[Super Mario]

God I'm really tempted to continue that one. I envision an ending where Aerith joins the Enterprise and Okokou's remains scatter throughout the Galaxy where Q and him enter a final battle. Cloud gets rejected outright from joining the Enterprise due to mental issues.

 

[Unlucky]

Please do!

And if I may suggest, can you include Julia Nakahomou (sephirothslave's Sue) as Okokou's minion?

 

[Rumpelstiltskin]

The geek level on this forum is close to exploding.

 

[Super Mario]

Who in crickey fuck is this character!? D:


Send some snippets or samples of this character plz. I need to shadow-move their personalities like Kirk's use of ellipses, Spock's super logic, etc etc.

 

[Ryushikaze]

God I'm really tempted to continue that one. I envision an ending where Aerith joins the Enterprise and Okokou's remains scatter throughout the Galaxy where Q and him enter a final battle. Cloud gets rejected outright from joining the Enterprise due to mental issues.

I'm sorry, but Admiral 'Duchess' Archer and Captain 'Killing's too good for 'em I say' Janeway say this one doesn't fly.

Also, Neelix.

Or Barclay, for a more positive look at why Cloud's mental issues wouldn't keep him off ship.

 

[Unlucky]

Who in crickey fuck is this character!? D:


Send some snippets or samples of this character plz. I need to shadow-move their personalities like Kirk's use of ellipses, Spock's super logic, etc etc.

Unfortunately you have to read sephirothslave's horrible fic (link is provided in the first post). She happens to be the main character

In case you don't want to go through that shit, here's a brief description: she is a blonde goth who has no trouble killing people (but is against animal violence), is in love with Sephiroth Okokou and is the epitome of Maru Sue-ness.

Here's a pic I found from the sporking site:

 

[Octo]

The geek level on this forum is close to exploding.

These are the voyages of the Crackship Enterprise. It's mission: To seek out strange new pairings, to trip balls, to boldy go where no geek has gone before.....

 

[Super Mario]

We will look into that tl;dr later. I do not intend to take this seriously

Although I am interest to see how Archer would inquire about Kirk's request to bring forth Aerith. (in aversion to her death from OKOKOU)

 

[Super Mario]

Unfortunately you have to read sephirothslave's horrible fic (link is provided in the first post). She happens to be the main character

In case you don't want to go through that shit, here's a brief description: she is a blonde goth who has no trouble killing people (but is against animal violence), is in love with Sephiroth Okokou and is the epitome of Maru Sue-ness.

Here's a pic I found from the sporking site:

Jesus christ I think I should not have asked and just saw the Resident Evil films with Alice as basis. Well at least I now know how this shit's gonna roll, she gets taken out by Kirk and Spock at every turn and is a sufferer to Spock's Nerve Pinch whenever she thinks she can do shit like Alice does in RE.

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Could we split off the Shinra High/Star Trek crossover into a new thread and continue it as a round robin, with anyone who feels like it adding another chapter whenever they feel like it?

 

[Super Mario]

I vote yes, it is a free update where anyone may freely add whatever they want to complete the epic saga of boldly going to the lifestream.

 

[Octo]

Could we split off the Shinra High/Star Trek crossover into a new thread and continue it as a round robin, with anyone who feels like it adding another chapter whenever they feel like it?

Yes! This way it can be like an epic game of consequences! And it doesn't even have to make sense

 

[Super Mario]

Once my shift is over, prepare for the startling revelation that Sephiroth Okokou is being guarded by a dastardly individual. Can Kirk, Spock and the crew survive this terrifying encounter? Or will hope smile upon them in the form of a well endowed woman with the strength far greater than the crew of the Enterprise? Tune in soon to find out!

 

[Tsunami Shijo]

You're in luck, I had the guy do not one, but TWO recordings!

http://www.mediafire.com/?setolwhr707lu6f,w23nhdkusuqzicp

Though said recordings are that of Sephislave's astral thing with Seph, and not the fic. I also thought that one of them had a short animation to go with on youtube, but I guess not!

It DID have an animation on Youtube, but it was sadly deleted. I would love to recover the animation, it was hilarious.

 

[Unlucky]

Could we split off the Shinra High/Star Trek crossover into a new thread and continue it as a round robin, with anyone who feels like it adding another chapter whenever they feel like it?

Agreed Have you guys thought about the title yet?

And Lic.. something tells me you're planning to bring your story-telling talents into this fic..