The Love Triangle of FFVII Part IV: A New Hope

[Ryushikaze]

Wasn't the promise listed in an official timeline in an Ultimania somewhere? Thought it was December...

Edited to Add:
Ya, December
http://thelifestream.net/final-fantasy-vii/107/complete-timeline-of-the-compilation-of-ffvii/

So it is. Mild december, but still in the 'come the spring' period.

December in the mountains is apparently really, really nice. O.o

Still gives a few months in the in-between for some 'getting to know you' time.

It is. Cold. Usually snowy. But nice.

 

[DrakeClawfang]

Was in a store earlier today looking around and found Clerith proofz on a plushie shelf. Was tempted to buy it but didn't since it was 25 bucks.

There it is, Clerith proofz. Trufax

 

[Ryushikaze]

Was in a store earlier today looking around and found Clerith proofz on a plushie shelf. Was tempted to buy it but didn't since it was 25 bucks.

There it is, Clerith proofz. Trufax

Yep. Totally unlicensed proofz.
Meanwhile, recent merch S-E had anything to do with, as much as it's worth...
Well, we've been down this fuckdamn road before.

 

[DrakeClawfang]

Yep. Totally unlicensed proofz.
Meanwhile, recent merch S-E had anything to do with, as much as it's worth...
Well, we've been down this fuckdamn road before.

.............................

no u

 

[Fairheartstrife]

Soooo...a plushie of Cloud strangling Aerith is proof of Clerith. Abusive relationships FTW!! **woot**

Also, fuckdamn road is frequently traveled in this thread.

 

[DrakeClawfang]

Soooo...a plushie of Cloud strangling Aerith is proof of Clerith. Abusive relationships FTW!!

Dur. Obviously Aerith is a masochist. Why else do you think she keeps getting paired with Sephy?

 

[Fairheartstrife]

cuz she likes his long sword?

 

[DrakeClawfang]

We've covered this, Aerith prefers thickness over length, hence why she loves Cloud.

 

[Fairheartstrife]

But...but that's ZACK's sword... which was originally Angeal's...so Angith FTW! O.o

 

[DrakeClawfang]

I didn't mean the Buster Sword, I mean the Fusion Swords, which come to think of it split into six each with different sizes and functions...well, variety *is* the spice of life...

 

[Fairheartstrife]

But Aerith didn't know Cloud when he had the fusion sword. By then he was only flashing that bad boy to Kadaj and company.

So, point of fact: Angith is canon and Cloud is gay.

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

So, point of fact: Angith is canon and Cloud is gay.

Breaking news.

 

[Celes Chere]

Tifa's hot. Fine. They'd have fun every night. Great. What they haven't considered is what it'd actually BE like to live with Tifa. What it'd actually feel like to have someone yelling at you all the time the way Tifa yells at Cloud. Sometimes, I think the gents who like this are biting off more then they can chew. Or at least they're willing to submit Cloud to tortures he doesn't need.

 

[Alessa Gillespie]

Tifa's hot. Fine. They'd have fun every night. Great. What they haven't considered is what it'd actually BE like to live with Tifa. What it'd actually feel like to have someone yelling at you all the time the way Tifa yells at Cloud. Sometimes, I think the gents who like this are biting off more then they can chew. Or at least they're willing to submit Cloud to tortures he doesn't need.

because we all know that Cloud never has beat himself up for no reason and doesn't do so for extended periods of time and he clearly needs no one to snap him out of his depression because we all know how well that's worked in the past amirite

 

[Celes Chere]

Yeah, and Tifa is definitely portrayed as a woman that does nothing but bite other people's heads off, as well as torture them. It's not like her words actually helped Cloud move on in AC - o wait.


Also, Cloud is a dumb ass. Living with a woman that does nothing but yell - I guess Cloud must be one of these 'gents'.

 

[Ryushikaze]

Breaking news.

How many times do we have to reveal that Cloud is a Lesbian before people realize?

Tifa's hot. Fine. They'd have fun every night. Great. What they haven't considered is what it'd actually BE like to live with Tifa. What it'd actually feel like to have someone yelling at you all the time the way Tifa yells at Cloud.

Tifa...
Yells?
Shroudy, you need to stop making shit up.

Sometimes, I think the gents who like this are biting off more then they can chew.

Shroudy, I think you need to stop projecting your self insertion bullshit on other people.

Or at least they're willing to submit Cloud to tortures he doesn't need.

Shroudy, what tortures? The tortures of Aerith who lives inside Cloud but waits for two years to go 'stop beating yourself up?'
Seriously, what fucking torture does Tifa subject Cloud to?
Anything?
Anything?
Beuller?

Let me know when you get back to reality, Shroudy. Us denizens thereof need to have a talk with you.

Addendum: Also, we're back to overt Tifa discrimination in support of the Clerith shit.
Also, I forget, does Shroudy hold the Mako parasite hypothesis as true or not?

 

[DrakeClawfang]

Let's see...Tifa yells at Cloud when he's moping and drinking after the flower delivery in CoT, and yells at him in AC/C when trying to get him to save the kids. And...nope, that's it.

Yeah, how dare Tifa yell at Cloud to get off his ass and live a normal life, why can't the mouthy bitch just let him mope and mind her own business? GOD!

 

[Zee]

What you should care about is this:

I think the moral of this story is, "Never leave a love triangle open-ended when one of the characters is far better endowed than the other, even if they're both very beautiful, because the mindless masses will ALWAYS go for the... to paraphrase a certain show from the 90's... 'The chick with big hooters,' regardless of ALL other considerations."

And then there's Vanille x Fang. I don't think I even want to elaborate here.

 

[Splintered]

Tifa's hot. Fine. They'd have fun every night. Great. What they haven't considered is what it'd actually BE like to live with Tifa. What it'd actually feel like to have someone yelling at you all the time the way Tifa yells at Cloud. Sometimes, I think the gents who like this are biting off more then they can chew. Or at least they're willing to submit Cloud to tortures he doesn't need.

Uhhh....

seriously?

Sometimes I wonder if people every decide to see story in context. Tifa handled that business a lot better than most mothers would have. Had that been any other woman, where two children she was raising was in mortal peril and the only person who could help, who happened to be the other person raising the children, was going to run away, she would have flipped out on him. I would have fucking cut a bitch if it meant saving my kids.

Tifa encouraged him to get out of his slump. So much for torture. Sometimes relationships don't mean being an enabler and kissing someone's ass.

 

[Celes Chere]

but it does seem like most guys just pair Vanille and Fang so they can imagine themselves... shall we say... sandwiched between them?

:howno:

Tbh, I'd like to be the one in that sandwich.

 

[Tennyo]

Tifa's hot. Fine. They'd have fun every night. Great. What they haven't considered is what it'd actually BE like to live with Tifa. What it'd actually feel like to have someone yelling at you all the time the way Tifa yells at Cloud. Sometimes, I think the gents who like this are biting off more then they can chew. Or at least they're willing to submit Cloud to tortures he doesn't need.

This is one of the more hilarious things I've read in a very long time. Thank you for making my day, Shroud-man.

But here's a life lesson for you: Just because you make it up doesn't mean it's valid.

 

[Strangelove]

For a second I thought you were quoting someone here and I was like lolz

Then I looked more closelier and I lol'd some more.

What you should care about is this:

What is this shit. Is this from the same thing as the other quote? I don't even.

but it does seem like most guys just pair Vanille and Fang so they can imagine themselves... shall we say... sandwiched between them?

I don't

Does that make me gay?

 

[Fairheartstrife]

Tifa's hot. Fine. They'd have fun every night. Great. What they haven't considered is what it'd actually BE like to live with Tifa. What it'd actually feel like to have someone yelling at you all the time the way Tifa yells at Cloud. Sometimes, I think the gents who like this are biting off more then they can chew. Or at least they're willing to submit Cloud to tortures he doesn't need.

Lemme just translate that for you, Shroudy...

"Tifa's hot. No way could I even come close to getting someone like that. Sure, they would have fun every night--in ways I can only dream about, but let's consider what it means to be with someone that has opinions and a backbone. Sometimes I think the gents that like this are biting off more than I can chew. Without a spine I'd crumble and fall the moment anyone confronted me on my own bullshit. I couldn't submit myself to that kind of relationship because it would require actual manhood and not magic. The reason I don't support Cloti is because women like Tifa scare me. Truthfully, boobs scare me. I'm scared of anything really, which is why I sit in my room and fap to spirit sex."

 

[Alessa Gillespie]

but Shroudy, what are your thoughts on yaoi?

 

[Ryushikaze]

What you should care about is this:

I think the moral of this story is, "Never leave a love triangle open-ended when one of the characters is far better endowed than the other, even if they're both very beautiful, because the mindless masses will ALWAYS go for the... to paraphrase a certain show from the 90's... 'The chick with big hooters,' regardless of ALL other considerations."

Point of order- When a third of the triangle is dead, and the other 2/3 aren't, that's not an open ended triangle. That's a sledgehammer hint.

And then there's Vanille x Fang. I don't think I even want to elaborate here.

Because Lesbians scare you?

but it does seem like most guys just pair Vanille and Fang so they can imagine themselves... shall we say... sandwiched between them?

1. Where the hell are you getting that we 'wanna be sandwiched' between the lesbians? If we wanted to be sandwiched, it would make more sense to pick two hot hetero babes, of which there is no dearth.
2. Really, Fang/ Vanille isn't overly sexual, even if they are Lesbians. It's just too cute.

Tbh, I'd like to be the one in that sandwich.

We know, kiddo. We know. Pervert.

Lemme just translate that for you, Shroudy...

"Tifa's hot. No way could I even come close to getting someone like that. Sure, they would have fun every night--in ways I can only dream about, but let's consider what it means to be with someone that has opinions and a backbone. Sometimes I think the gents that like this are biting off more than I can chew. Without a spine I'd crumble and fall the moment anyone confronted me on my own bullshit. I couldn't submit myself to that kind of relationship because it would require actual manhood and not magic. The reason I don't support Cloti is because women like Tifa scare me. Truthfully, boobs scare me. I'm scared of anything really, which is why I sit in my room and fap to spirit sex."

Trufact- I've shown this quote to a few people, and all the women have said 'He's never had a lady, has he?'
Quite funny.