I wrote a really nasty review about this book...let me find it...
Here it is...well...okay, it's more like an essay.
The little tidbits…
I’m actually a little bit confused after reading some of the customer reviews for this quadrilogy…I tend to research my books before I buy them so I know what I’m getting myself into; because, in fact, I’m one of those people who finds it unbearable to sit a book down without any intent of reaching the last page.
To begin with, I noticed that a lot of the 5 star-star reviews involve customers:
A) Bragging that they’re over 30 and still reading teen fantasy.
B) Commenting on the quality of the cardboard casing.
C) Commenting on the quality of the audio tapes.
I haven’t ever heard the audio tapes for this or any other book...that’s not my personal taste; if you’re going to read a book, don’t be lazy about it. I will note that the cardboard casing is not that great, and I hope it didn’t have any incentive towards the forty-something dollars that I spent on the collection. I only just took the plastic off of the casing last week so I could read the books, and it’s already dinged up around the edges from being slid across my book shelf.
Now, my opinion on audio books and cardboard sleeves won’t have any inclination towards the number of stars that I give; I’ll save my rating for the meat n’ potatoes of the books. =]
Intro
The first major pro value of this series is that the author certainly had an idea that was fueled by good motivation. Unfortunately, the negative qualities of the book seem to far outweigh the few perks. Let’s start with the bad and the ugly and work our way towards the good. I like to save the best things for last. =]
The Bad
· Little Annoyances
o Overuse of certain words
o Snide remarks
o Lack of meaning for love
· Book 2 not necessary
Little Annoyances
Word Usage
The first little annoyance that I couldn’t manage to cast aside was the overuse of the words “liquid” and “amber” which Bella uses to describe Edward’s eyes, and the words “marble” and “sparkly” to describe the appearance and texture of his skin. Half of the time that Bella is in Edwards presence between books 1, 3, and the first half of book 4, every other page must have at least one of these words scribbled in because we must not forget that Edward has liquid amber eyes, and his skin is cold like marble and sparkles in the sunlight. Do not forget it. =]
Certain Snide Remarks
Other little annoyances include comments made by Bella towards other prettier characters in the book. There is one example towards the beginning of book three when Bella is in Edward’s company. Edward mentioned to Bella that a vampire from another clan, (a blonde vampire at that), made a pass at him once. Bella’s comment on the remark was something along the lines of “figures she was a blonde”.
I was born with blonde hair, and I resent that remark, Bella Swan. <__<
Depthless Values
The most frustrating quality of this book is that Edward and Bella are supposedly in love with one another, yet even after reading all four books, I still have yet to find some form of rationality or meaning behind their “love”. (Even though I’ve labeled this aspect as a “little annoyance”, it’s actually much more negative quality in a book that revolves around love. Therefore, I’ll be commenting more on this point further along in my review…)
Book 2
I believe, after skimming over her website, SM was originally intended to summarize the series in just three books instead of four; that idea might have been very much the wiser decision after all was said and done. The entire premise of book 2 could have been summarized in just a few short chapters. Heck…I can summarize the meat n’ potatoes in one paragraph.
Edward deems himself too unsafe to be in Bella’s presence because of his compelling urge to suck her blood every time he’s in her company. He leaves without saying goodbye, causing Bella to fall into an unhealthy state of depression. In said state, Bella takes up the companionship of Jacob Black as a sort of “filler” for the hole in her heart that’s caused by Edward’s absence. She resumes life by placing herself in dangerous situations such as riding moterbikes and cliffdiving during rain-storms so she can fuel other unhealthy conditions such as schizophrenia; ergo hearing Edward’s voice in the back of her mind.
See? No sarcasm…I didn’t mockingly throw together a few sentences; you really can sum up the majority of this book in a single paragraph. Did I miss anything? The only part of this book that actually involves progression is in the last few chapters when Bella pursues Edward before he snuffs out his own life. I’d say that at least 300 pages of book 2 were not necessary.
The Ugly
· Character Flaws and Development
o Author Can’t Stay in Character
o Mary-Sue Complex
· Unhealthy Relationships
· Bad Rip on a Popular Lore
Character Flaws and Development
Staying In Character
There’s so much misdirection in this book when it comes to characterization. Okay, people do change on impulse, especially in uncommon situations involving vampires and shape-shifters…but when a character makes a radical change in personality for the worse…it’s just utterly frustrating.
Jacob Black
My first beef is with the character Jacob Black. I found him to be a tremendous form of relief after book 1, in which Edward displays minute characteristics of a psychopathic stalker. Jacob Black is a breath of fresh air; a good friend and a good influence for Bella after her entanglement with an over-possessive vampire.
The sadness ensues when, after a certain physical change takes place, Jacob’s personality completely changes. He’s no longer respectful, or logical, or fun. All of the aforementioned traits that made him a likeable, believable character simply vanish without a trace. This character makes a complete 360; from being a personal favorite with an adorable personality to being a disrespectful, obnoxious ass.
Edward Cullen
My second beef is with Edward. Aside from the fact that he’s territorial and possessive towards Bella, he also makes a drastic personality flip between books 1, 3, and 4.
In book 1, as I said, he portrays himself as a weirdo who likes to stalk Bella around town and watch her snore and fart and drool in her sleep at night. (Hey…she’s only human.) In book 3, he makes a complete turn over regarding his feelings toward Bella and Jacob. At the beginning of the book, he actually goes so far as to disable Bella’s car and seclude her in his own house so that she won’t find herself in Jacob’s presence. Not soon after, he decides that it’s completely fine for her to be with her friend, so he sets up “appointments” for Bella and Jacob to spend time together.
Finally, after book 4 rolls around, Edward takes a seat on the backburner…that’s right…throughout the second half of the book, I hardly knew he was there.
Mary-Sue Complex
The number one downfall of this book is that the main character suffers from an immense case of Mary-Sue Complex. If you’ve ever had to put up with a book that has an excruciatingly perfect protagonist; one that you know you’ll never have any chance of relating to, then you’ve been already been acquainted with Mary-Sue.
I found it so difficult to relate to Bella Swan because she says and does things that I have never done/ would never say, even if I were just a few years younger, and in her situation.
1) I can’t recall one time, while growing up with my father, that I ever, ever stepped foot in the kitchen and prepared dinner for him after a long day’s work. And my father actually had a laborious job that didn’t include riding around all day in a patrol car in a city that doesn’t have a lick of crime to be dealt with.
2) I can’t recall a time in high school that I ever made near-perfect grades. There was always some reason, some excuse for not turning in my homework, or even for not actually attending class. Highschool was not fun for me, and I was an outcast like Bella is supposed to be.
3) Carrying on from number 2…Bella is not an outcast. Considering that half of the boys that she associates herself with: have crushes on her, offer to carry her books around school, vie for a chance to take her to prom, or carry an unusual death wish for her that involves sucking her blood, it’s easy to propose that she’s not an outcast.
Well, I’m not the vast majority of teenagers, but I was a teenager once, (not long ago actually). So I can’t say this for all people, but I did find it difficult to relate with Bella Swan’s character.
Moving swiftly along, Bella has this…bothersome tendency of always finding herself in life-threatening situations, from which she’s always rescued with just moments to spare. I can list three, just off the top of my head:
1) Saved from a car skidding across ice in the parking lot by Edward, who just happened to be lurking (stalking) Bella around school.
2) Saved from the Vampire Laurent just moments before he can sink his teeth into her by a pack of strange, giant wolves.
3) Saved from death by jumping off a cliff and drowning by Jacob, who just happened to be there in the middle of the ocean in the nick of time.
Relationship Status
Let’s face it, Twilight fans: Edward and Bella do not have a healthy relationship, even considering that they are both somewhat young and immature. There’s an ongoing joke between Bella and her Mother that Bella is a middle aged woman in a teenager’s body; that she’s too mature for her age. Well…no, she’s not. In fact, Bella’s personality is the perfect classification of “17 years old”.
Bella is just fascinated by Edward…she’s constantly praising every aspect of his existence…portraying him as some kind of god with divine “runway model” beauty. Oh…let’s not forget that he has liquid amber eyes, and his skin is cold like marble and sparkles in the sunlight. How could we forget?
I may have been borderline immature as a teenager, and I have thought highly of others before, but I never referred to my significant other as a “sparkling Adonis”, not even in my deep, dark, personal illusions. Even if I did by chance ever date the most glorious boy in school; one that resembled a runway model no less, it’s still plausible to say that beauty is only skin deep. And Edward does not have a beautiful personality…
Why not? Well I know that my own boyfriend and I are somewhat possessive of one another, but if he ever locked me up in the house for three days and told me not to spend time with someone that I wanted to be with, I’d have a lot more to say than just “I love you”. Right…right? And as far as having someone stalking me around town, watching me sleep, and eat, and breath…that’s not love. That’s not even remotely romantic; that’s just bursting my privacy-bubble!
Vampire Lore
Vampires are a pre-existing mythology, e.g., they existed long before SM decided to write the Twilight series. SM states that she’s never read much into other works of Vampire fiction, and if she is indeed telling the truth, well…it shows. Any keen reader of vampire fiction has a pretty good grasp on what Vampires are and aren’t capable of, and SM does a good job at contradicting an idea that is already battered up and served well-done.
Example A) Vampires and Sunlight
This is a minute example because vampires and sunlight have been mixed, and it has been done neatly. But the fact is that it has been done, and it’s no longer interesting. Adding sparkles to the mix doesn’t make it any more entertaining unless you’re a fish.
Example B) Vampires can’t reproduce.
That’s right; the ultimate spoiler, but I did warn you before you started reading. Vampires don’t have bodily fluids; save for blood. A dead person can’t make babies, and that’s what Vampires are: animated corpses.
Note that it’s not a bad thing to read into a subject that you yourself wish to personalize. In fact, I would recommend it. Don’t teach math if you can’t add and subtract. If you’re writing a story about Vampires, and you haven’t yet added up the facts and discovered that vampires can’t reproduce, then you need to do some more research.
In conclusion…
I think it’s about time to nail the coffin shut here…
One of my major conflicts with this story was the love between Bella and Edward. Even if they actually did share some fundamental connection; some…truly great reason for loving one another…it’s never actually mentioned in these books. I read a lot of “I love you” and “I can’t live without you”, and other such baseless statements, but even after reading the whole series from beginning to end, I still can’t figure out why they love each other.
If Edward wasn’t perfectly indestructible, and he happened to have his face ripped off by a bear, or if he got a sunburn and lost his “sparkle”, or maybe even if he developed elephant-man syndrome, I make you a freaking bet that Bella would run out of things to say about him after just two sentences…
Geez…I think I may even be beginning to develop an underlying resentment towards my own boyfriend because he doesn’t sparkle in the sunlight or lose himself in my eyes while he talks to me…
Last Remarks…
I personally love vampire fantasy; I’m not one of those people who’s read all there is to offer in this category, but I might get there one day. Based on what I know, vampirism is as popular a subject as it ever will be…it’s one of those things that you like enough as it is. It’s kind of annoying to buy a book regarding one of your favorite subjects, only to discover that the already-perfect idea has been warped to the point of idiocracy.
If you’re going to write a book about a subject that’s been done to death; one that already has an unyielding background in fiction…then stick to the facts. Otherwise, make your own fiction without the use of a pre-existing one
