LTD, round 3: This time, we settle it with Jello Wrestling

[Isabella]

I was speaking from my heart. You clotis are so mean.

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

It's a weird dog/cat-thing eat weird dog/cat-thing world Isabella.

 

[Ryushikaze]

What what what? I wasn't talking about anyone.

Nor was I. Just noting that there being no canon and the canon being Clerith not five minutes apart happens more often than one might expect.

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

Isn't it kind of ridiculous, even without the insane double standards, to claim there is no canon? I mean, leave off the "Clerith is canon" that brackets the statement that there is no canon, and it still sounds wrong.

 

[Dashell]

a lot of them will tell you there is no canon, but the evidence is in favor of Clerith

 

[Vendel]

I always found it funny. FFVII does not have multiple endings. And any ambiguity was erased with the compilation.

Even games with multiple endings have canon ones. I like to use KORTOR as an example. Four possible ways to finish the game. But only 1 canon version.

 

[OneWingedDemon]

No couple is canon, but the "true and intended" one is Cleris. That's bullpoop, Q. You can't claim something's inconclusive and then conclude it points SOMEWHERE. That'd make it conclusive.

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

Vendel makes two excellent points. FFVII did not have multiple endings, and even if it did, as some games do, the portions of the Compilation that come after it, chronologically, would still establish canon. Hence why I feel it is ridiculous to argue that there is no canon, even if you don't claim in the next breath that there is but only if it's what you wanted to hear.

Edit: OWD, do note that Quex only said "a lot of them will tell you" not "I will tell you".

 

[Dashell]

No couple is canon, but the "true and intended" one is Cleris. That's bullpoop, Q. You can't claim something's inconclusive and then conclude it points SOMEWHERE. That'd make it conclusive.

I know it's bullpoop but considering years ago it was "CLERITH IS CANON!" and now it's "NO CANON COUPLE"... well that tells you something.

Vendel makes two excellent points. FFVII did not have multiple endings, and even if it did, as some games do, the portions of the Compilation that come after it, chronologically, would still establish canon.

There's that totally stupid interview that someone did with Nomura BEFORE Advent Children came out, like years before, the thing wasn't even FINISHED yet... where Nomura said he didn't know if CxT became a couple after FFVII. They constantly use this to prove there's no canon couple, never mind when it was done or that Nomura is a man who said Kairi and Namine weren't related to avoid spoiling people.

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

It's just the way the LTD has developed over the years. What once could possibly be ambiguous is now very clear. Thus, the less sensible Cleriths change tactics from "Clerith is canon" to "No canon exists" cause otherwise they'd just have to accept they were wrong from the beginning. And actually, that makes more sense than some other arguments we see from them.

Still makes very little sense though.

 

[Isabella]

Nomura doesn't give a shit about pairings because he's too busy drawing zippers on everything and fapping over fight scenes and explosions. Nojima is the one who controls the story for the most part.

 

[Vendel]

Nomura doesn't give a shit about pairings because he's too busy drawing zippers on everything and fapping over fight scenes and explosions. Nojima is the one who controls the story for the most part.

And belts. Don't forget belts.

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

Zippers and belts are high fashion on Gaia apparently. Remember Yuffie's belt that serves no purpose but to bare her midriff a bit more?

Aerith had no fashion sense, her clothes had gasp buttons instead.

 

[Ryushikaze]

a lot of them will tell you there is no canon, but the evidence is in favor of Clerith

A few will tell you there's no canon version of the Highwind scene, but Aerith's is canon because you get it 'normally' even though Tifa's date far more thematically fits the music.

 

[Dashell]

A few will tell you there's no canon version of the Highwind scene, but Aerith's is canon because you get it 'normally' even though Tifa's date far more thematically fits the music.

I guess I did something wrong the first time I played because I got Tifa

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

I can't even remember who I got the first time I played, that was a long ass time ago. But is it really easier to get Aerith's date scene than Tifa's? I thought it was closer to 50/50.

 

[Isabella]

What I'm curious about are the odds of getting LA vs. HA.

 

[Loxetta]

For the date, it's easier to get Aerith, the 'base' affection values are like 50/30 or something like that for Aerith and Tifa respectively.

I've never gotten the Aerith date, myself. I thought it was funny to call her the slum drunk in the church and I always had her fight the soldiers in the back room instead of dicking around with pushing barrels, because I wanted to give her more EXP. Among other things.

How does one even control the Highwind scene outcome?

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

Since the Ultimanias seem to confirm the HA as canon by way of not even mentioning the LA (am I remembering that right?) and the creators directly referring to the HA, that didn't seem important to me. On the other hand, the date scene is often kinda left up in the air isn't it?

 

[DrakeClawfang]

Nomura doesn't give a shit about pairings because he's too busy drawing zippers on everything and fapping over fight scenes and explosions. Nojima is the one who controls the story for the most part.

Nomura is the Michael Bay of Japan.

 

[Vendel]

What I'm curious about are the odds of getting LA vs. HA.

For a Clerith? Better than average.

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

For a Clerith? Better than average.

Smartass

 

[Isabella]

I suspect you pretty much have to never have Tifa in your party.

 

[Gym Leader Devil]

Never have Tifa in the party? Blasphemy. Does sound like Clerith behavior though.

"That dirty slut? In my party? Never!"

 

[Dashell]

Okay EG got me thinking, and it took me a while to learn all the terms and what not involved in the LTD, so I decided to do a write up on it. What do you think so far?

Terms used in the Love Triangle Debate of FFVII

Cloud Strife – Yellow spikey haired pimp who, in the original game, is too fucking stupid to realize two hot girls actually want him. He carries around a huge sword, most likely for compensation. He is most likely gay.

Tifa Lockhart – Girl number 1. She's known Cloud her whole life would constantly bully him when he was a child. She doesn't really love Cloud though and any statements that say that Cloud is her ideal love or hero simply means that Tifa loves Zack. This is proven by her constant malicious lies to Cloud in FFVII which were told because she simply could not let go of her ideal vision of Cloud being a first class soldier. Currently she lets Cloud stay with her, but is constantly laughing at him and the retarded things he does and is known to often insert herself into Cloud's life when he doesn't want her to. Cloud, of course, is too much of a pussy to tell her to cut it out.

Aerith Gainsborough – Girl number 2. A manipulative whore who loves Soldiers. She's constantly selling flowers to men at night in dangerous places desperate to get some cock. Cloud crashed into her life, literally by crashing through the roof of her church. She woke him up with a hand job and talked Cloud into being her bodyguard with the promise of more blow jobs and sex. Her manipulation work so well, she actually convinced Cloud to dress up like a woman to satisfy her wet dreams. This and her obsession with flowers and the color pink is telling. In other words, she's probably a raging lesbian. She was also killed by Sephiroth at the end of disc one causing Cloud to cry like a little girl. Massive lulz ensued.

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Aerith's Ribbon – The ultimate indisputable Clerith proofs that no one, and I mean no one, could possibly counter in an argument. This ribbon ties her to Cloud despite Zack being the one who bought it for her. If a Clerith brings this up in a debate, you are to simply lie down and concede, it is just that strong.

Drinking the kool-aid – A term used when someone has either taken up some of the more extraordinary Clerith beliefs or a slang to describe hanging out at CxA forums for a time. It can also be used to tell someone their argument is really fucking stupid.

Flowers – These represent Aerith except when people don't want them to. Then they can be whatever the fuck you want.

Koibito – A word that has had over 9000 meanings in the course of its time. It's true meaning of “desired person” has been used on both sides of the LTD, but of course in both cases proves absolutely nothing except that Aerith is fucking crazy and Tifa is a whore.

Rapid Cloti – Slang term Clotis use for “Rabid Cloti.” Has something to do with a typo.

WacDonalds – A magical restaurant that, upon entering, makes Japanese words change meaning to whatever you like.