New forum for member feedback

[Dashell]

that was kind of my point before

it was

and look what happened

the same thing as last time

True, true... I just don't understand why this has become a problem again and I don't think we should have to go through great lengths to make this right... why can't he just be infracted... is there a problem with that? I don't get why he's getting such super special treatment or why we should have to go through something like "you can reply to so and so but not so and so" tactics to make this right. Treat him like a normal member... is that... a problem?

 

[Makoeyes987]

True, true... I just don't understand why this has become a problem again and I don't think we should have to go through great lengths to make this right... why can't he just be infracted... is there a problem with that?

...Because he didn't break any rules?? Usually a rule of some sort has to be broken to warrant an infraction.

So either we need to clear the air, because I honestly don't think there is any malice intended.

I think this would be the best and most mature option to go by. At least in terms of us (staff) being able to help. Because this is clearly a personal issue here, that isn't going to get solved by just infractions, VBulletin hacks, and bureaucratic amending of rules.

 

[Ⓐaron]

True, true... I just don't understand why this has become a problem again and I don't think we should have to go through great lengths to make this right... why can't he just be infracted... is there a problem with that? I don't get why he's getting such super special treatment or why we should have to go through something like "you can reply to so and so but not so and so" tactics to make this right. Treat him like a normal member... is that... a problem?

Well, that's the thing. A normal member wouldn't get infracted over this. There is no rule to cover this kind of conduct. That is, from what I can tell, exactly why this became such a giant problem to begin with.

 

[Dashell]

But... you guys went on and on about how Omega was infracted for something similar... I thought...


god damn I'm confused again.

 

[Ⓐaron]

We thought Omega was threatening Rishi (albeit jokingly), which is why his post was considered actionable. Turns out that's not what it was at all, so the infraction was reversed. Ryu's post is directed at Jennifer Lawrence, who, as far as any of us know, isn't a member here.

 

[Dashell]

Okay... I guess I get it... sorta... it just seems like... this is one of those problems that isn't going to be solved any time soon.


Okay w/e, do what you gotta do, I'll let you guys figure it out, sorry if I rubbed anyone the wrong way

 

[looneymoon]

You know, trying to paint Ryu's comment as "oh well it's not exactly a rape joke" is getting me really pissed off.

Not to mention questioning people's intelligence.

The joke was condoning of abusive behaviour in reference to something sexual in nature. Sorry but that is fucking rape even if it doesn't explicitly use the word/refer to sexual penetration (which fyi, you don't need to be sexually penetrated to be raped either!!!)

Wow.

Just wow.

 

[looneymoon]

sorry for the double post but

Also what I'm getting from this thread is that previously we were encouraged to report posts that bother us now
we're only supposed to report if it's something the mods give a shit about??? wow

so if a member genuinely creeps me out and i'm uncomfortable talking to him it's still on me to confront him myself and tell him to stop

isn't that just doing the mods job for them????

i just dont kno.

 

[Octo]

Rishi, you know I like you and I hope this doesn't change anything between us.

Yes I think it was tasteless and it did condone abusive behavior but no I don't think it was intended as a rape joke. You wanted Jeniffer Lawerence to be your girlfriend implying love/a relationship. So although you could infer from that that someone being brainwashed could constitute rape it wasn't explicit, and personally I don't want to see people being infracted for stuff they didn't really say because that would set a precedent and there would be no end to it.

Thats not to say you have no right to be offended by post.

 

[Zee]

Stop saying the post was about jennifer lawrence. It was a noncon/rape joke that did involve rishi (arguing over the recipient of the treatment is fucking stupid).

You dont make offensive triggering jokes towards someone you know isn't comfortable with you and don't defend it when they get offended.

 

[looneymoon]

Sorry Octo but no, it WAS rape joke. It is very clearly a rape joke. Hell, by trying to paint is as a Clockwork Orange reference makes it that much more rapey.

I think you're going to have to reasses what the meaning of rape is because psychological torturing someone into a romantic relationship DEFINITELY falls under the "rape" category.

 

[Octo]

I'm not arguing over the recipient of the treatment. I'm arguing over saying you want to make someone to be your girlfriend vs wanting to make someone have sex with you. There is a subtle difference. If it had been about sex and then Ryu had made the same response then yes, that would be a rape joke. But context changes things.

 

[looneymoon]

Arguing semantics doesn't change the underlying meaning or offense. And frankly, it's shifting the rape implication onto me by doing so. Which is entirely fucked up.

 

[Strangelove]

i think the context of being someone's girlfriend normally carries with it the implication that you'll be having sex

 

[looneymoon]

Yeah I mean, typically you're not referring to an non-physical relationship when you say you want someone to be their girlfriend.

Unless I made a wrong turn in my browser and I somehow ended up on tumblr.

 

[Strangelove]

Yeah I mean, typically you're not referring to an non-physical relationship when you say you want someone to be their girlfriend.

Unless I made a wrong turn in my browser and I somehow ended up on tumblr.

get your semantics right rish

you meant to say 'homoromantic asexual diafamous coupling of two beings'


i kind of want to say, whatever the intentions were or others interpretations, offence happened and that's that

but i think i already said that

 

[Cookie Monster]

Also what I'm getting from this thread is that previously we were encouraged to report posts that bother us now
we're only supposed to report if it's something the mods give a shit about??? wow

No, report everything that bothers you. No one is suggesting you do one over the other. But, it would greatly benefit both parties involved if there was an attempt to speak things over. But, that's entirely up to you.

 

[Octo]

I'm not trying to shift anything onto you Rishi and I'm sorry if I came off that way. I asked before in this thread if the post had been reported as a rape joke and was told it hadn't (by Tennyo iirc) I was under the impression that the rape thing came up because of the comparisons with Omega's post.

Look I don't think theres anything I can really say here. I'd like to see the situation resolved in a permanent way but theres little I can do about that personally. So I'm going to bow out of this discussion because I really don't want to upset anyone further, I'm really sorry I did.

 

[Alessa Gillespie]

this whole thing seems to be

'well no one ever DIRECTLY said rape therefore it's okay that rape is pretty much implied by the post'. which makes me almost want to give up the fact i don't drink except my liver would pretty much explode as soon as i got a cosmopolitan to my lips.

 

[looneymoon]

I originally reported the post because I found it something creepy and weird to say to someone, regardless of the rape connotations. I reported it less for the fact that I was offended and more the fact I was creeped out.

I don't think it really should be expected of anyone to confront someone that creeps them out. Hence I made the report in hopes of someone on staff could at least tell him to cut it out. At least when directing posts at me.

If the post was never directed at me in the first place, I probably wouldn't have reported it. I'm not really into butting into matters that concern others, unless my opinion is asked for (that isn't meant to be an attack on anyone - i'm just trying to explain my mental process in sending the report).

Anyways there's no bad blood between us, and I don't intend there to be any. I honestly just feel a lot of the blame in this situation has been shifted onto me for various reasons (such as "double standards" "prejudice" "being over sensitive" and "not getting it").

So I'm sorry if I come off defensive, but if the authority in this situation made a quip about you "crying while watching Silence of the Lambs" amongst other things (sorry to single you out Mako oh wait no I'm not) then I wouldn't blame you either. Usually I'm a pretty laid-back person and would let those kinds of things slide, but the fact that they're being said behind closed doors where I can't defend myself - that is completely ridiculous.

and yes I do acknowledge that Tennyo stood up for me in regards to that particular comment, but that does not denote the fact that it was made as well as the overall mocking tone of the thread in staff.

 

[Flintlock]

I don't think there was anything wrong with Ryu's post. I just want to say that.

I should add the caveats that everybody has the right to get offended, everybody has the right to make a report, everybody has the right to expect the report to be dealt with in a professional manner, and everybody has the right to air their grievances with the process if they are unsatisfied with it. I'm not going to comment on the specifics of this case because I still don't know the full story. Nor do I need to know.

I haven't made this post because I think my opinion should matter a great deal to anyone, but because I hope that this incident does not lead to any new restrictions on what kinds of humour can and can't be posted on the forum. If the report system worked as it should - and for what it's worth, I think the new private forum is a good idea that I know has worked elsewhere - we definitely wouldn't need them.

Sorry for interrupting the conversation with this; I know the timing is a little out.

 

[Cookie Monster]

Tbh, at this point, whether or not it was a rape joke is kinda irrelevant. No one is shifting the blame on Rishi. It was offensive, everyone understands this. Move on to solutions. This isn't a simple issue where an infraction will solve the problem. We've said several times we're not entirely sure what to do here. Work with us, make some suggestions. Let's help each other instead arguing for the next ten pages.

 

[Cookie Monster]

I don't think it really should be expected of anyone to confront someone that creeps them out. Hence I made the report in hopes of someone on staff could at least tell him to cut it out. At least when directing posts at me.

No one is expecting or forcing you to do this. We're just suggesting it. If you don't want to do it, then don't. I already understand why you wouldn't want to contact him, Rishi. If you can put those issues to the side, try speaking with him. But, if you're uncomfortable with it, then don't. No one is judging or saying if you refuse to speak with him, then it's your fault. We're just trying to provide more avenues of communication that can help settle this. No one is forcing you, or anyone for that matter to use them.

 

[looneymoon]

A word from Ryu would be nice I suppose. Though frankly I am uninterested in the verbal acrobatics he construes after the simple "I'm sorry, I'll take care not to direct those comments to you in the future."

You know, kind of like how he did for another member straight away

Then again because this has become a needlessly big deal that doesn't seem like it's enough to rectify the situation. Personally, I've already stated my faith in the staff has completely vanished. The only reason I'm still posting with my input is due the time I've spent on this site over the past 4 years, as well as for the people I still have respect for that will continue to frequent the site.

 

[Sprites]

Ok I don't normally get involved in stuff like this and what I'm about to say is probably going to get backlash but you know what I don't care because some of the stuff I'm reading in this thread makes me feel really uncomfortable, so here we go.

I honestly didn't connect what Ryu said to a rape joke I know you've already said it's irrelevant at this point Thor but the fact it was being argued about just one page ago kinda tells me it still is quite raw for some people.

On the subject of Ryu, a lot of what's being said about him as a person is making me really uncomfortable because it's really horrible. People saying things to the extent of finding him creepy and so on and so forth and bringing up old stuff about him it's actually quite slanderous. I've talked to Ryu loads, through skype chats, the IRC and so forth and the person some people are painting him to be is not the same person I've known and I've also known him since the ACF days.

Some of the stuff he might have done before may have been offensive to some people but really are you guys any better? I know if the barrage of insults he seems to be getting were directed at me I'd be extremely hurt and upset.

Octo: the way you've been commenting on this well I don't think it's been appreciated the way it should and to be honest I think some people are taking it a bit personally because she's giving a different perspective on it when all she was trying to do was explain where she felt the situation was coming from.

I'm preparing myself for a backlash with that post but that's fine. I've never got myself involved in anything like this really before and I normally stay on the passive front for this but I just wanted to speak up in defence of Ryu and the way I feel he's being treated by some people who while I understand clearly don't get on well with him, there still should be some air of civility and respect there because I believe he didn't mean any offence in what was said and was running along with the jokey way in which the thread was going and he's genuinely not a bad person.

In regards to what this thread was originally about I like the idea of this new section. I for one feel happier knowing I may get a quicker response if I ever have a query as opposed to hearing back from one person.