Staff Related BS and Discussions split from FFOF

[The Twilight Mexican]

Well, shit. Sorry to everybody for coming into this so late. I was honestly blindsided by all this. I had been at work when the site died a few days ago, then was at work again when it came back up.

Mako did tell me in a text that a situation with Ryu had been what overloaded the database, but I didn't know the specifics and assumed everything was cool when I logged on a couple of hours ago. I went to the LTD thread first, as is my usual behavior when it has new posts, and I get a PM from Mako telling me to weigh in on all this.

It's taken me a couple of hours of reading up on what's happened, but, yeah, I'm starting to feel like I can offer some halfway valuable input.

Okay, first thing: Ryu, what you did was unebelievably stupid, man. I know you've heard that plenty in the past 24 hours, but, shit, I wouldn't expect anyone to pull punches with me on something like this. Everyone needs to offer their honest opinion, and that's mine. You fucked up big time, bro.

Do I think you did it with malicious intent? No. I think I know you pretty well. I only really got to know you starting a couple years back, but we've been familiar with each other for the better part of 10 years from GameFAQs and other places besides.

Anyway, intent counts for a lot with me. Hell, it counts for a lot in our country's legal system too, for that matter. But there's consequences for manslaughter, same as there is for homicide. And somehow that seems like a terribly inappropriate comparison all of a sudden, but I think you'll get the point I'm making.

Again, anyway: while I'd bet every dime in my bank account that you meant nothing malicious, there's no denying what Mog has pointed out. You do have a terribly awkward way of speaking with people, women especially. And I say that fully aware of the irony that I'm possibly the worst perv up in this motherfucker.

But, yeah, to begin with, you have a sense of humor most people don't get in the first place (not gonna lie, I rarely get your jokes either; or, at least, not why they're funny), and you do come off as terribly aloof most of the time, even when you're not arguing with someone or trying to defend yourself. At that point, you just tend to get really condescending.

Your post in this thread (which I'm glad you stepped up to post) is the closest to the common man's lingo I've seen you post, like ... ever. And even then you managed to fuck it up somehow, dude. Kind of like the whole apology with Bex, followed up by the comment about not posting shit to the Internet you don't want seen.

This was the moment you needed to humble yourself like you never had in your Interwebs life, and I feel like you blew it. Again, I know you're not a malicious dickhead. You're just terribly awkward, and this was sort of a moment-of-truth kind of thing.

Not saying you can't recover (that's up to the community), but you really need to keep up a dialogue with everyone. That one post isn't going to cut it. You need to keep talking to everybody and you really, really, really, really (hope the point is getting through) need to man up and take your lumps on this, and they're going to be harsh. And you need to take them gracefully.

As far as consequences go, shit, I don't know. There's got to be some. Not for being awkward, or for being aloof, or even for making anyone uncomfortable. But you did cross a line in good judgement, for which there must be consequences -- and it's not unreasonable that anyone here would feel uncomfortable with you being in your current position.

Do I think you abuse your abilities as a moderator? No. I don't know of any occasion where you have, so I don't have a reason to think so. You've done a lot for this site and continue to, and I do think that should be taken into account to some degree. But I can understand why there's some folks concerned right about now.

It's not up to me to call for what the consequences are, but I can feel Road's sentiments that there's been a break in trust here in the eyes of the community. As he and Mog have expressed, it should be up to them where we go from here.

And I, too, submit myself to their mercy if a public audit is decided upon in the future.

 

[Dashell]

But, yeah, to begin with, you have a sense of humor most people don't get in the first place (not gonna lie, I rarely get your jokes either; or, at least, not why they're funny), and you do come off as terribly aloof most of the time, even when you're not arguing with someone or trying to defend yourself. At that point, you just tend to get really condescending.

I just want to highlight this. I've been on the receiving end of this before and I can never tell if you're honestly angry or just... being Ryu. It gets confusing and I seem to remember once pissing you off because you had always told me you weren't angry when you were yelling and swearing, so I was just joking around with you and that was the time you really were angry

But really great post by Tres there. I think that sums up everything nicely.

 

[Ⓐaron]

I'm still kind of sleep deprived, so I'm hoping that this post will be tactful. I can't always tell, especially when I'm sleep deprived, so if something I say offends you, sorry in advance; I didn't even realise it was insensitive. I know these are extremely sensitive issues.

I think Ryu's post was a good first step, but it wasn't perfect. Obviously we're all going to need to put some, or more likely a lot of, work into this.

I'm not uncomfortable demoting anyone simply for violations of "common sense". Many of us have been down that road before and it's a recipe for drama. "Common sense" is a subjective term. When most people use it, they seem to mean "things I think everyone should know." The problem is, everyone has their own idea of what constitute "things I think everyone should know." If we demote someone for violations of "common sense", this will open the door to continued arguments over what is in essence a completely subjective term. I don't think most of us would want to go down that road.

That said, it's obvious some people simply will not feel comfortable with Ryu not receiving a very large punishment. I was going to suggest putting him on probation - giving him a final warning not to fuck up again or lose his staff position - but after reading everyone's post on the revived TLS, I'm no longer completely convinced that will be enough to resolve everyone's issues. This puts me in a bit of a quandary.

The problem is, as I see it, there was always a culture of insensitive jokes on TLS. I mean, the tentacle rape jokes have already been mentioned. (I just changed the title of the chit chat thread, btw). They're not the only rape jokes that have been made; there was even one in someone's signature for awhile (and may still be, idk). There have been racism jokes all over the place, and people have complained about at least some of them. They were effectively told by most of the rest of the members and even some of the staff to brush them off because they were not meant as actual racism. I cannot see this to have been drastically different in form from Ryu's joke, which does not appear to have been meant as sexual harassment. The impact of Ryu's joke was much more severe, yes, and it was much more hurtful. But I cannot see how it is fundamentally different in intent from any of the jokes that had been made on TLS previously. And that indicates that it grew out of the culture we allowed to flourish on this board for a long time, and that means the culture here needs to change.

If people want to change the rules going forward, that's great. Obviously they need changing. But we need to be consistent about them. I know some people hate making things too dependent on rules, but I've seen communities where everything is open to subjective interpretation. I've even staffed at least three of them. We do not want TLS to turn into one of those. It's a path that will lead us to endless arguments over, well, subjective interpretation.

Anyway, if it turns out that Ryu being removed from forum staff (temporarily or otherwise) is the only thing that will hold this community together, then I will concede it's what we will have to do, regardless of what he has contributed in the past. But I will not support it unless it is done for some reason other than "common sense," because trust me, that opens the door to a road I don't think any of us want to go down, and it would be likely to hold the community together only in the short term.

I feel like there was more I was going to add, but I'm not really sure how to phrase it right now. I thought I might know last night, but I'm fairly sure what I came up with wasn't good enough, and I don't even remember most of it anyway.

 

[Rumpelstiltskin]

At the risk of "inciting more drama" I would just like to say mog's posts gave me a definite hard on.

That is all.

 

[The Doctor]

ffs

 

[Super Mario]

is it over ?

 

[CK]

ffs

called it.

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

The problem is, as I see it, there was always a culture of insensitive jokes on TLS. I mean, the tentacle rape jokes have already been mentioned. (I just changed the title of the chit chat thread, btw). They're not the only rape jokes that have been made; there was even one in someone's signature for awhile (and may still be, idk). There have been racism jokes all over the place, and people have complained about at least some of them. They were effectively told by most of the rest of the members and even some of the staff to brush them off because they were not meant as actual racism. I cannot see this to have been drastically different in form from Ryu's joke, which does not appear to have been meant as sexual harassment. The impact of Ryu's joke was much more severe, yes, and it was much more hurtful. But I cannot see how it is fundamentally different in intent from any of the jokes that had been made on TLS previously. And that indicates that it grew out of the culture we allowed to flourish on this board for a long time, and that means the culture here needs to change.

I don't know about the culture as a whole needing to change, but I will say that I can see this as fundamentally different. I hate how frighteningly close to a "common sense"-type of appeal this must sound, but it is fundamentally different. It just is.

Maybe it's the personal nature of it that makes it seem so obvious to me. I mean, yeah, we've got racism jokes out the ass, and plenty of people might belong to the groups stereotyped, but this is more personal than that. I mean ... a picture of someone is more personally referential than their race.

It's just different, man.

If people want to change the rules going forward, that's great. Obviously they need changing. But we need to be consistent about them. I know some people hate making things too dependent on rules, but I've seen communities where everything is open to subjective interpretation. I've even staffed at least three of them. We do not want TLS to turn into one of those. It's a path that will lead us to endless arguments over, well, subjective interpretation.

I do agree with this, though.

 

[Ⓐaron]

Using "it's more personal" seems fair enough, I guess. Because that's not anywhere near as subjective as "common sense." It's easy to draw up consistent standards for that.

 

[Ⓐaron]

One other thing: This seems to me like it would be a retroactive punishment, which was something I would have been completely against without a good enough reason. I have been convinced by people's responses that there's good enough reason, but I don't want to set a precedent that would lead us to retroactively punishing every single thing, nor do I want arguments about what deserves retroactive punishment because we left the boundary too subjective. There needs to be a clear definition of what kinds of offences not mentioned by the rules can be punished.

 

[Hisako]

The problem is, as I see it, there was always a culture of insensitive jokes on TLS. I mean, the tentacle rape jokes have already been mentioned. (I just changed the title of the chit chat thread, btw). They're not the only rape jokes that have been made; there was even one in someone's signature for awhile (and may still be, idk). There have been racism jokes all over the place, and people have complained about at least some of them. They were effectively told by most of the rest of the members and even some of the staff to brush them off because they were not meant as actual racism. I cannot see this to have been drastically different in form from Ryu's joke, which does not appear to have been meant as sexual harassment. The impact of Ryu's joke was much more severe, yes, and it was much more hurtful. But I cannot see how it is fundamentally different in intent from any of the jokes that had been made on TLS previously. And that indicates that it grew out of the culture we allowed to flourish on this board for a long time, and that means the culture here needs to change.

A thousand times this (I sort of hinted at it a few pages back). I mean, obviously we know what the fuck up is, but does everyone here actually realise how it came to be?
It's all of us, guys. Like most things in life one thing leads to another thing leads to another thing and suddenly everyone's coming onto each other and throwing sexual jibes around like candy and now we're finding ourselves stepping on each other's toes more and more as we keep poking into genuinely taboo areas and going "woah let's pump the brakes here".

There has to be something to keep us from ending up cutting each others' feet off.

 

[Fangu]

First of all: Guys, thank you for the civil tone in this thread. It made me so happy reading all of the carefully typed out posts of your views.

I said in my post in FFOF that was the only thing I would ever write on the topic, but now that the matter is being addressed with such carefulness, I want to add my 2 cents, for whatever they're worth.

Have you ever felt uncomfortable by posts he has made about you/your friends?

Some stuff has been over the top. As in jokes that are in poor taste, or snappy comments that could be taken as slightly offensive.

Other than that, no really. But then again, I haven't been here that long. Also, see comment below next quote.

Do you feel that he is abusing his powers when it suits him?

No.

I'll write this to you, Ryu. I feel like I understand you better after the post you wrote in this thread. First of all, thank you for it. And also, Ariadne, thank you for the post that came after.

Now forgive me if I'm jumping into conclusions, but I have a bit of Ryu in me. (Now don't start on the jokes... ) As in I'm a nerd, and I can be socially awkward as well. I've been like that from birth. Certain jokes and sarcasm goes straight over my head. I usually blame it on being an only child, but I just know that it's just some trait about me (or lack of trait, rather). On this forum, there's also the language barrier, and then there is the fact that text (and even emoticons) can be misinterpreted. Communication has both a sender and a receiver, and there is something lost when you don't have the aspect of audio.

What I'm getting to is that while being a bit like that at times, I have friends like you, Ryu. Friends I sometimes I have to hit in the head with a shovel because they have poor taste and go too far. And it's particularly with women. When it comes to my friends, at least, they have this love/ hate relationship with women, and has had it since they were teens and all of the girls were constantly bitching them and humiliating them. Sometimes when they're in a different setting than "everyday" (like you said in your post), like when they've been drinking, they slip up. They make tasteless, sometimes cruel jokes, to say, my female friends, who don't know them or their humor (to my female friends those insults are NOT humor!) and then there is drama.

The reason people probably don't address you directly when they get upset is probably because they don't know how to address it, if especially, like people say in this thread, you reply with cold logic. (Which I also recognize in my friends.)

The solution to this is: Say sorry, or at least take responsibility that you as a sender might have offended the receiver, regardless of fault. As I said earlier, communication is a term for what goes on between both parties. Admit at least one little think you've done wrong (even if you feel you did nothing wrong.)

It's the bitch of life, in order to keep relationships calm, we have to give a little. Just, you know. Play it down a little. It doesn't make you a pussy.

I love and understand my friends, that's why I liked your post so much. I felt like I could relate to you now. Because I think you have come off as a cock a few times, I must admit. Now I'll know what kind of person you are, and how I should relate to you. So thank you

 

[Tifabelle]

ok now that I've had some time to think about it, I'd like to reply to Ryu's post. Tres really hit the nail on the head, I think, and so I echo his sentiments.

First off, I do want to say that, Ryu, your post here is quite possibly the most human I've seen you since I've known you. That's not meant to be an insult, but I feel like you were more down-to-earth than I have ever seen you be. And I hope that's not your only post on the matter, but that you continue to discuss things. I do actually have some sympathy for you because I would be hurt to have pretty much an entire group of people hating on me.

Also, I'd like to say for the most part I've never felt like Ryu abused his mod-hood. However, as a mod, certain behavior is expected of you that you have shown in the past and more recently to fail to live up to. Are mods held to a higher standard of behavior? Yes, I think they are. It might suck, but imo it comes with the job. And for what it may be worth, I don't think Ryu is the worst mod, soooooo yeah. Ryu is extremely helpful when you need something done or have a question. And he's a smart dude. The past couple days though, I've literally found myself going, "wtf is Ryu doing, what is he thinking".

And for the record, I've spoken to Ryu outside the forum on the IRC and we've done LPs together, so like... idk. I don't have any personal vendettas against him or w/e if people think that. I've had plenty of conversations with him (some of them awkward ). I think he's an ok dude who is just weird and perhaps occassionally misunderstood.

That all being said - poor judgment has been poor, man. I certainly don't think you were being malicious, as I very rarely do. But seriously man, what were you thinking. I just couldn't grasp how at all you thought this would be a good idea. Like, you're a smart guy, even if you're awkward.

You tend to have bad timing, or make jokes with the wrong person, or don't know when a joke ends, etc. Your humor is extreeeemely dry, and you know very well that sometimes people don't get your humor, or even know you're joking. I mean, I've seen you explain your jokes and people still don't understand them. At the very least, I think I have a good grasp on when you're joking, but they still come off as weird and misplaced.

And as a person who is like, the second biggest pervert (surpassed only by Tres ), I make sexual jokes all the time, and am good-natured enough to enjoy such jokes in return. But like... idk I'm more comfortable making jokes like that with certain people over others. (I never mean to offend or creep anyone out, and if I do I'm sorry ;.; ). But even so, sometimes when you joke... it's awkward. And I don't always know how to respond when that happens, lol.

As for your apology to Bex, idk it seemed ok to me, but that's between the two of you. Just wanted to let you know that. But then you make that comment on FFOF and I am like.... are you serious. Everyone is mad at you, and tempers are flying over there and you say something so stupid that undoes any attempts you may have made at making amends. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw that. Just take responsibility for your stupidity and move on. And don't make condescending comments on a sensitive subject.

In regards to how Ryu was treated before all this - sometimes I also feel uncomfortable with him being called a pedophile. I just don't think that's funny, and it's not very nice. I know about the reasoning behind it and all, and yeah such a thing is disturbing, but idk. I just kind of think it creates awkward tension when it's brought up and used against him for no reason. I mean, if he did something like that again and you want to say it, I guess go ahead? But like... it's not really cool to say it over an incident in the LTD or other dissimilar situation.

Some of my anger over at FFOF was more placed toward aaron and mako. I mean, I didn't agree with your actions, but the anger was in regards to their reactions. I don't hate you or anything, I just think you've failed to use your brain.

In regards to Shademp's post -idk I guess I've never seen it done before? I feel like there's a lack of respect in your actions in both cases. I didn't even know Shademp was upset about it, and I did make a comment in the thread, but it went unnoticed. Was Shademp's post a big deal? No, and actually I found it kind of funny. But that's completely beside the point. What you did to him and to Bex was so out-of-line disrespectful, you know? And yeah, even though I am neither of those people, it made me uncomfortable and concerned. If in the future you feel like something isn't a big deal and it would be better to share than hide, then share that thought with the member and let them decide.

What do I think the repurcussions should be? I don't know. I mean, part of me thinks this behavior is unbecoming of a mod, but then I'm also afraid of being too harsh. Maybe temporarily de-modding him and then re-evaluating at a future date how everyone feels? I kind of like mog's idea of evaluating the staff as a whole where we can all express our concerns, and maybe letting yop being the mediator since, yaknow, it's his forum and he's shown to be sensible and equal and I, for one, trust his judgment.


IN REPLY TO AARON-

I don't think we need to change the general culture and say that jokes can't be made. I think the majority of us are mature enough to make jokes and take jokes, etc. I mean, you're saying you don't want to go overboard with your punishment with Ryu, then you say stuff like that and it's like... I mean... you don't have to buy a whole new car just because your blinker is broken.

Also, I think you said it but now I'm not sure, about how Ryu's post is what caused TLS to go down. uuuhh, I really don't think that was it, lol. TLS was being glitchy before that, I think it was just a coincidence really. But idk.

Hopefully I remembered everything I wanted to say

 

[Alessa Gillespie]

i feel like the underlying problem is that ryu doesn't seem to realize when he's close enough to a person to make silly jokes at them. with rishi, i am very close friends with her, and when she posts a nice photo in the member pix thread, i will ask to have her babies or something equally silly. i do this with her because i'm friends with her and i have achieved a level of closeness so that we can both laugh about it. ryu, on the other hand, is not very close to either of us. a while back ryu posted a comment on one of her pics regarding eating her jello or something, due to a topic within the discussion thread itself. due to the fact he's not very close to her, this wasn't brushed aside as a joke as it would have been for me, but viewed as something altogether creepy. it wasn't bad enough anyone chose to report it, but still, it was a bit creepy!

the thing seems to be is that i believe ryu tends to assume enough people are close to him to be able to understand when he's joking and when he isn't. this can be especially difficult when to a lot of onlookers, his apparent sarcasm looks the same as when he always posts: wordy and slightly robotic. the fact seems to be that the threads that he jokes around in aren't apparent to everyone on the forums that he is joking around.

and i understand, nerds are socially awkward! i have absolutely no friends nearby irl because idk how to approach people and start up conversations. but i think a lot of this could have been reconciled if ryu realized which members he's close to, and therefore close enough to make silly jokes with, and the ones he's not very close with.

 

[Octo]

the thing seems to be is that i believe ryu tends to assume enough people are close to him to be able to understand when he's joking and when he isn't. this can be especially difficult when to a lot of onlookers, his apparent sarcasm looks the same as when he always posts: wordy and slightly robotic. the fact seems to be that the threads that he jokes around in aren't apparent to everyone on the forums that he is joking around.

Ryu isn't the only person who does that here.

I have trouble knowing when Mumble and Dac are being serious or not, and there are a few other people where I have to wait and see how a thread develops before deciding if its a joke or not.

And I agree, I have made similar remarks about wanting to marry people or kidnap them etc. Can I say for sure that my remarks would be taken in jest? No. Can I say for sure that I am as close to certain people here as I think I am. No.

I'm always busting Masas chops about his liking for teh bewbs. I can't 100% say that he's not going to be offended by that but its a chance I take. We're dealing with subtleties here and some people are better at it than others.

There is no point in a developing friendship where people say to each other 'hey, its ok to make sexual/racial/offensive jokes about me now'

So if someone makes a comment that makes you uncomfortable at least say so, and if the person doesn't back off then get the staff involved because that would be harrasment.

Most of the time there is no malice involved, it is usually just an effort to fit in. And its pretty sad to me that it boils down to such highschool bullshit but there it is.

 

[Joker]

I'm at work right now, and can't post with my work comp (site blockng =/), but I fully intend to write a rather lengthy post in regards to things - what has been said since the board came back up in particular. I echo Rishi's request that the thread remain open until then.

I also will be making a post in the staff misconduct thread later, as well, and I rather agree with the idea of a sort of staff evaluation taking place.

With what little time I have left on my break, though, I would like to thank everyone for their participation in the discussion, with their honest feelings being put forth, including and especially Ryu. It took a lot of balls to make that post, given the circumstances, and I absolutely respect the shit out of that fact.

 

[Bex]

With what little time I have left on my break, though, I would like to thank everyone for their participation in the discussion, with their honest feelings being put forth, including and especially Ryu. It took a lot of balls to make that post, given the circumstances, and I absolutely respect the shit out of that fact.

This. So much.

I similarly am unable to post ATM, being in the back of a car on my iPhone.

Rest assured, I'll post up my two cents as soon as I get home.

 

[Dana Scully]

I just want to make a suggestion to Ryu -

use smileys.

No, seriously. All those comments about you coming off as aloof and robotic, it doesn't just come from your peculiar use of syntax but from your complete lack of smiley usage. I don't know why you don't use them, but think of it this way - in real life, when you talk to people, are you completely motionless and without any sort of facial expression? I know people have likened you to a robot in this thread but somehow I doubt that you are in fact an android IRL. Smileys are the body language of the internet and they can really help make it clear when you're joking or being less than serious or being more than serious, whatever the case may be. You don't have to use them after every sentence or anything but I really think that if you used a few more smileys there wouldn't be nearly so many misunderstandings when it comes to your humour.

Oh, and maybe someday you would consider actually thanking a post? It's not like it's a rule that omg you have to thank at least 1 post a day or anything but your refusal to thank anything whatsoever really makes you come across as, well, rather arrogant, tbh. It's like you think yourself better than the rest of us by refusing to play with our toys, ya know?

Also for whatever it's worth I don't think Ryu should be demodded because of this but that maybe a probation period of sorts would be wise, give him a chance to make amends. And, Ryu, I would like to add to the kudos people have thrown out for having the guts to respond to this thread.

 

[Max Payne]

It's all of us, guys. Like most things in life one thing leads to another thing leads to another thing and suddenly everyone's coming onto each other and throwing sexual jibes around like candy and now we're finding ourselves stepping on each other's toes more and more as we keep poking into genuinely taboo areas and going "woah let's pump the brakes here".

No, it not "all of us" and it's silly to even imply it is. This isn't even the result of any one incident. This is the end result of tensions between the same groups of people built up over time and people finally just exploding over them.

The issue come down something pure and simple.

People not communicating.

 

[Ryushikaze]

You know.

Ryu and I used to be bros(for my part) then idfk shit got weird at some point. He started talking all stoically and shit and then we just didn't talk at all.

From my end, it seemed like you were the one getting distant, and I figured if you wanted to reach back out, you would.

I remember him being a pretty cool guy way back when. Iunno man.

Way back when it felt like I could shoot the shit with all and sundry they could do the same to me, and it was all good. Somewhere along the line, that seemed to change. Not only did something happen that pretty much broke my trust in the forum for a good long while- something I'm realizing I am still not over over a year later- but the forum attitude seemed a whole hell of a lot more pointed, and defensive, and less friendly, but no one seemed to pay it any mind, so I figure I'd keep on, try and be proffesional, and work for the good of the forum. Maybe I've stiffened and become robotic with you all as a result, but that's not what I wanted. I really do want to be on good terms with as many of you as possible.


As for smilies, Yac, I've never felt comfortable using them myself. I just haven't. Here, MSN, Skype, AOL, I just don't feel right about it. I understand what you're saying about their use and body language, it's just not for me. Call it a hangup, I guess. And I seemed to get along fine without them for the first two years of the forum.

I'm sort of the same way with the thanks system. I was in favor of the system as a whole, and so I didn't use it. It's not that I think I'm better than you because I don't use it, I just thought it wasn't for me. I thought it was just a running joke that I didn't. That it's seriously causing issue that I don't use it is something of a shock.

I might say more later, but all of this is actually making me feel bad, so I'm gonna stop for now.

 

[Max Payne]

Yeah but man, at some point you just stopped being laid back and turned into a terminator. This is well before any of this TLS shit I think.

A lot of your posts just wound up coming off as arrogant and self absorbed and I just wasn't comfortable talking to you on msn anymore :/

 

[Ryushikaze]

Yeah but man, at some point you just stopped being laid back and turned into a terminator. This is well before any of this TLS shit I think.

A lot of your posts just wound up coming off as arrogant and self absorbed and I just wasn't comfortable talking to you on msn anymore :/

When did you start noticing it? I mean that seriously. I know I make a lot of 'I am the best thing since sliced bread and the hottest thing since hot' jokes, but this sounds like it's not that.

 

[Splintered]

Not sure how much I consider Ryu totally robobtic, I met more stoic people online, but you're definitely some awkward midway between uber professional, and personable. It's a horrible compromise because not only does it feel weird when you make a joke that would be okay between friends, but you also seemed closed off so no one likes to come to you. I'm sure you're a fantastic mod, but I had a problem with the forum, the first I would ask is probably not you.

TBH, if you won't want to change your personality, that's fine by me. I don't think that you should pretend to be someone you're not. That's just dumb. But you need to learn to give a bit too.

Like, sometimes during a particularly tense part in the LTD, people will post gifs in response to you. And then you have this unnaturally aggressive analytical, "I see you have only have gifs to respond to my well reasoned argument, QED" Sometimes, gifs are just a way to humorously back off a subject but still communicate what the feel about it. Pursuing how gif posting made them fail or something is just... silly. It makes you look more silly than the poster. Sometimes you just got to let it go. I'm not saying you need to post gifs to make you seem more personable, you have to realize that other people do it because that's the way they want to do it. Not everything has to be straight to point facts and English degrees.

But that's less of a mod problem and more of a "tick that bothers me" thing. If that's who you are, that's who you are. Issues with friendships, that a personal trait. I think the only thing that really needs to be addressed is your issue with criticism. Okay, bear with me here, but the post you just made...

Before I begin, let me say that yes, it was a rude, crass joke. But so's the entirety of our forum humor. Our oldest in joke, which has been repeated since this drama began, is that our owner and admin will tentacle rape you. Asking for noodz is the forum passtime.

oh man, I know I'm just arguing semantics here but this is this is the WORST way you could have opened the post. And I'm just going to say, I think your post has great points, and that I really appreciate what you wrote. And I know that dragging this shit out for everybody to come and pick at you, psychoanalyze your posts, and then tell you how you are doing things wrong- especially since you do seem to care about this forum and work hard on it, makes you feel like shit. I feel bad that all your forum personal drama has been dragged out for everybody to criticize, and that I feel that this was a terrible way to do it. And you should get every opportunity to defend yourself.

But your first few sentences to deal with this situation sets the mood for your whole post. And your first sentence is, "Yeah I know I did something rude BUT" and then a string of defenses that explain the forum culture we already know because we are in. Think about it this way, if Sony went out and started a conference with "I know we got hacked BUT hacking always happens it's not just us!" then they are going to rub people the wrong way.

I see you as a normal member, but you're also a mod, and there are certain things you just need to pick up on. Someone said that they were uncomfortable with a mod that has problems with common sense and boundaries with power over them, you should not start off your apology with saying how you didn't really do anything wrong. Someone was hurt and embarrassed because of an action you did, and that's what needs to be addressed.

There's nothing really different with, "I said something rude, everyone here does. But I'm sorry that you got hurt, that's the way I do things" and "Look, what I did was wrong, I apologize for making you uncomfortable. I wasn't aware what I did have destructive consequences but I'll make sure it never happens again."

But there's a world of difference in confidence. You need to admit your mistakes honestly, without pinning it on other people. I also found your "Things I hate" post of "I hate when people don't talk to me" just a... really bad idea. Little things like this makes it feel like your shifting blame and I know you aren't trying to do it. But you do.

Anyway, I don't think Ryu should get his mod privileges taken away, I don't think he abuses them. And I don't think it's something that a ban or change in powers will change, only him accepting his problems and then making a concerted effort to not be so aggressively analytical/defensive. It's an experience thing, not really a power hungry whatever.

 

[Cthulhu]

I just read the whole thread and, outside of some random unconstructive remarks about very specific posts, I really have nothing to add. Which is a good thing - it means you guys - at least to me - seem to be able to figure things out for yourself without someone with authority and tentacles needing to step in. Thanks everyone for that.

On Ryu's apparent lack of emotion in his posts, can't you guys see past that and accept him for who he is and how he posts? I mean, to each his own. I'm not going to berate anyone for their posting style, unless they can't spell for shit or use a black font.

And... that's about everything I can think of right now. Keep it up, I approve .

 

[Zee]

i'll just say that a mod should be someone the member base really trusts and feels comfortable with. ryu is just not that person right now, and i think all the feelings flying around in this thread need to be settled before he's really an effective mod (and it's hard to be an impartial party when you feel hurt).

honestly i think stepping down (even temporarily) would go a long way to regaining the member's trust and maybe...idk be humbling?

On Ryu's apparent lack of emotion in his posts, can't you guys see past that and accept him for who he is and how he posts? I mean, to each his own. I'm not going to berate anyone for their posting style, unless they can't spell for shit or use a black font.

it's hard to have a "voice" on the internet and i think it's important to remember the way people read your post in their head might not be the way you thought it sounded when you were typing. that's why smilies, gifs, weird tying quirks can come in handy with giving the poster a more personable voice.

and if ryu doesn't feel comfortable using smilies that's fine it's not his thing! but there's ways without smilies to still indicate you aren't completely stoic. idk just give some indication anyone's home (emotionally).