I don't think it was the characters being jerks that turned me off - I was reading Feintuch's
The Still around the same time, and the viewpoint in that is one of the most spoiled, selfish assholes I've ever read, and I loved that book to pieces. It was just that I cared about fewer and fewer of the characters as the books went on, until finally there wasn't a single POV I looked forward to. I couldn't say what it was, exactly; I don't remember it well enough, and haven't given it a ton of thought in the intervening years.
I will say the gender politics is one of the main reasons I've avoided going back. There are things I have a lot of tolerance for in fantasy, but (as you might have gleaned from that Aeris rant in the LTD thread) I really cannot stand...whatever you'd call that. I don't like stories that treat women the way Jordan treats women, and while I don't think it's from any maliciousness on his part, and I don't judge the politics of anyone who enjoys the books, I personally cannot get past it. It's a hot-button thing for me.
That's actually one aspect I'm really interested to see Sanderson's take on, is the characterization and utilization of the female characters in the story. I haven't read much of him (I thought
Elantris was terrible, but enjoyed the spinoff novella
The Emperor's Soul, and I have
Warbreaker sitting on my Nook for after I finish Hobb), but I've heard he writes women better than Jordan does. So, if you do manage to slog through to that point, I'd love to hear your take on it.
Based on what you've said, also, you might enjoy the Liveship books. The first one,
Ship of Magic, is a little slow to start but IMO well worth it; unlike the Farseer books, the Liveship ones are third person restricted from multiple points of view, and she's very good at using this to build up tension, and to paint a detailed picture of the world and the politics. It's in the same world as the Farseer books, but much further south, and the events of the first trilogy are referenced a bit.
Also (without spoilers) I did just finish the last one this morning, and I can say that the ending's much more satisfying than the end of
Assassin's Quest. However, the books are still pretty emotionally wrenching. I don't think you'd find them as depressing as Fitz, but I had tears in my eyes at a few scenes, and I'm mostly a heartless bitch when I read, so.