TL;DR, read the quotes for the good part, read the story to understand them
So i work at a call center for dish network. I take calls all day and generally deal with idiots who
1) don't know the difference between charges and credits on there bill.
2) confuse the charges glossary in the bill as actual charges (herp derp if your bills 50$ why do you think your getting a charge for 95$ tech visit fee that never happened?).
3) Are retarded and think there satellite dish points straight up and that they have there own satellite in space dedicated to just them.
Anyway, yesterday at work i ran into a new call type. See at work we dont answer phones, its like soviet russia the phones answer us. We hear a beep, get a pop up on the screen and have to say our intro immediately.
Well on that pop up there was something different, rather then saying white glove, CS english tech, or Tech trending. It said VIP RED. Naively i saw vip first and assumed it was a celebrity lol. I messaged my boss and asked him what vip red was, he said its a special customer that has been flagged for being troublesome and or an ass hole. Basically there trolls, they schedule tech visit fees to ask for a lighter and a smoke.
I was advised to immediately transfer to ERT (executive resolution team). Which was lame because i wanted to troll the troll. A few hours pass and my lunch came up, and something told me to check the account notes for that vip red account.
What i found was comedy gold.
I wish i could screen cap it or take a pic of it at work but i could lose my job but heres some excerpts , ill try to quote as closely as i can remember some of them. (these are notes left by ERT agents that were forced to speak to the customer and then forced to take notate the encounter).
Also for reference CCI= Customer called in, Cust= customer, adv= advised., adj= adjusted.
CCI, concerned about WWE royal rumble match. Says its not fair for 6 men to beat on one guy. Wants dish to stop match and save wrestlers life. Adv cust we dont control programming.
CCI, upset that IFC played jaws 1,2 but only showed terminator 1. cust wants refund on time spent thinking they would be able to watch the sequel to terminator as they say it was a waste of time getting interested. Adv cust that we dont control programming, adv to call IFC. No adj issued.
CCI wants us to give guy from king of queens a raise. cust hung up.
CCI, does not like new show on amc called walking dead. Does not like seeing humans shot at. Wants us to remove show from chn. Adv cust we dont control programming. Also adv not humans, they are zombies
Those were some of the funnier ones i could remember, but there litterally notes upon notes of gold in there. And best part, in the dish network employee forum, theres a thread where we trade account numbers for a laugh and its considered ok in the business rules because we get away with saying were just tracking and trending there calls lol.
