Discreet Affections - TsengxAerith
- Thread starter Madame Mayor
- Start date
Madame Mayor
Banned
There are no apologies needed for double posting Tserith. <3
ForceStealer
Double Growth
We never did get to see what Tseng's reaction was to learning of her death.
LicoriceAllsorts
Donator
I will give you a serious answer.
I think he would have been expecting it. She was always someone whose days were numbered. He and Veld, I guess, or whoever it was making the decisions, contrived to give her something approximating a normal life, or at least a degree of spurious freedom, but they couldn't have gone on like that forever. If Cloud hadn't come along, eventually she would either have been brought in to Hojo, or Tseng would have killed her to save her from that fate, or he would have run away with her and they would have died like Gast and Ifalna did, or - the option that actually happened - she would have gone on the run with someone else. If Sephiroth hadn't killed her and if she'd survived summoning Holy and defeating Meteor and battling Sephiroth, she might have had a chance at a truly normal life - but that wasn't something Tseng could forsee. So I would think her death had an inevitability for him. If Rufus were to die on his watch it would mean he had failed, but I don't think he'd see Aerith's death as a failure, necessarily. Maybe more as Aerith claiming the right to exert some choice over the way her destiny played out. Actually, I think he'd be proud of her.
He's pretty stoic, as we know. He'd shut up all his grief inside him, and it would be as raw on the day he died as when it happened. Or so says my imagination.
[BTW, Totally irrelevant to anything canon: in my fanfic the reason he tolerates her romance with Zack is because he wants her to experience as many 'normal' things as possible, before her time starts running out.]
I think he would have been expecting it. She was always someone whose days were numbered. He and Veld, I guess, or whoever it was making the decisions, contrived to give her something approximating a normal life, or at least a degree of spurious freedom, but they couldn't have gone on like that forever. If Cloud hadn't come along, eventually she would either have been brought in to Hojo, or Tseng would have killed her to save her from that fate, or he would have run away with her and they would have died like Gast and Ifalna did, or - the option that actually happened - she would have gone on the run with someone else. If Sephiroth hadn't killed her and if she'd survived summoning Holy and defeating Meteor and battling Sephiroth, she might have had a chance at a truly normal life - but that wasn't something Tseng could forsee. So I would think her death had an inevitability for him. If Rufus were to die on his watch it would mean he had failed, but I don't think he'd see Aerith's death as a failure, necessarily. Maybe more as Aerith claiming the right to exert some choice over the way her destiny played out. Actually, I think he'd be proud of her.
He's pretty stoic, as we know. He'd shut up all his grief inside him, and it would be as raw on the day he died as when it happened. Or so says my imagination.
[BTW, Totally irrelevant to anything canon: in my fanfic the reason he tolerates her romance with Zack is because he wants her to experience as many 'normal' things as possible, before her time starts running out.]
Octo
KULT OF KERMITU
- AKA
- Octo, Octorawk, Clarky Cat, Kissmammal2000
Have I told you lately that I love you?
That was beautiful.
I am reminded of a line from Blade Runner (surprise) "It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?"
Madame Mayor
Banned
Heart officially broken. And yet, it's so beautiful... <3
Vivi
Jump Rope Champion
- AKA
- Vivi, Setzer Gabbiani
I wish I could thank this 1,000 times. That was really beautiful, Licorice.
LicoriceAllsorts
Donator
It seems like vanity to thank posts that have thanked me, but thanks anyway.
Oh, Bladerunner, yes. A rare instance of the film being better than the book that inspired it.
Oh, Bladerunner, yes. A rare instance of the film being better than the book that inspired it.
Octo
KULT OF KERMITU
- AKA
- Octo, Octorawk, Clarky Cat, Kissmammal2000
You can say that again, not that the book didn't have some interesting elements, but if the film had followed it, it would have been craptacular. /offtopic.
I have to say Licorice, your Tseng is probably the closest ever to what I believe him to really be like....does that make sense?
I really like the idea of Tseng and Aerith going AWOL together, I don't think I've ever read a fic about that..
And now I have Radioheads 'Exit Music' in my head
LicoriceAllsorts
Donator
I'm just very persuasive.
I really like the idea of Tseng and Aerith going AWOL together, I don't think I've ever read a fic about that..
Do you know Crimson_sun? He's a great line-artist, and also writes some lovely short pieces:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3177780/5/The_Spaces_between_Words
LicoriceAllsorts
Donator
Tedious side note: You can see my hometown in this video
Now when I read your postings they'll sound in my head like
Octo
KULT OF KERMITU
- AKA
- Octo, Octorawk, Clarky Cat, Kissmammal2000
Oh Jesus.......
that's hilarious. I've only lived in the city for about 5 years. Technically speaking I'm from the Wirral, and my accent is comparatively 'posh'. Of course to anyone else hearing me, the Fat Controller is just about right
Obsidian Fire
Ahk Morn!
- AKA
- The Engineer
FanFic!
Don't know if this counts as romance or not, but it's good. Takes place in AC. (Yes, you read that right.)
Don't know if this counts as romance or not, but it's good. Takes place in AC. (Yes, you read that right.)
When they want to see what they're doing they drag him closer to the mouth of the cave, where the grey light reveals, to the eye that hasn't swollen shut, the extent of his other injuries – red lines cut into hands that he can hardly raise; bruises that pattern his torso greenish yellow and purple and grey-blue over the long, ragged curve of silver scar tissue, two years old, that Kadaj traces lightly now with the tip of one of Souba's blades. The other draws a lower parallel line – a sharp-edged whisper and its echo, promising pain, promising pain. Tseng struggles not to flinch because, Turk though he is, pain layered on pain will eventually become too much for anyone to contemplate without flinching. Kadaj understands – would make an efficient Turk if he could be trained out of his volatile temper – allows plenty of time for contemplation.
"That blade!" Kadaj says softly, with reverence. "It must have been a clean cut. What happened to leave such a mess?"
Tseng says nothing – thinks about golden light, an altar, the silence when they'd left him. Still alive. By the time he'd reached hospital it had been too late for cure – and then the haematoma under the wound, followed by infection. A mess, yes. But he'd lived.
I'm still alive.
He'd said that to them – in the temple. I'm still alive. Why? What had he meant by it? Was he hoping to reassure her even though she'd given him no reason to think she was concerned that he might die?
Kadaj presses the double-edged katana into Tseng's flesh – not deep, but enough to bring blood beading along the blades. Kadaj's eyes are focussed on the blood and his smile is that of a fascinated child. "You're thinking about Him, aren't you?" he asks. Tseng almost smiles too, because Kadaj is so wrong.
Aerith cried. Tears for a Shinra Turk who betrayed her every time he was weak enough to give her a soft look or a kind word. She cried, and then she left him to die. Well – that was justice. Hadn't he done worse? Given her a show of sympathy and collaborated in maintaining her illusion of freedom, and then delivered her to hell.
Still, though, he'd been disappointed. He knew what he was and had made sure – in the end - that she knew it. But he'd thought she was more – more than him – perhaps more than anyone else.
"Humans are so weak," Kadaj observes. "Mother destroyed almost all the Cetra, and they were powerful. The blade that made this –" Kadaj puts pressure on the katana, pushing into the old wound, and Tseng can't stifle a cry – "His blade – finished the last of the Cetra. What chance do you think you'll have? Why fight? Where's Mother?"
Aerith had always insisted on her humanity – her ordinariness – in the face of all evidence. Wasn't that why she hadn't tried to save him? To save a creature like him – the embodiment of Shin-Ra's evil – would be an act of super-human forgiveness. And Aerith was desperate to prove that she wasn't some kind of benevolent being from a long-lost civilisation. Why would she want to be? The Cetra failed! If the Shin-Ra scientists were to be believed, she was the last of that race. Look at humanity – how it survives! She was a girl from the slums and she tried so hard to be only that. But even there, she never fitted in. Who else would happen to be standing in the right place when a hero fell through her roof – twice? Who sells flowers, in the slums? Who else can make them grow?
Tseng wonders, would she save him now, if he prayed? Now that she's free of that human body – that beautiful, fragile-looking girl who was normal and not normal – who could fight, and swear and hate, and make flowers grow where it was impossible for flowers to grow – now is she purely Cetra? Now would she forgive him? If he prays – if he means it – will she save them all – Tseng and Elena from these Shadows of Sephiroth – the citizens of Edge from the geostigma? Will she save Rufus? Would she have pity on someone whose destiny always seemed as inescapable as her own?
But Tseng knows that he is worse than Rufus. Rufus is his father's heir, and his hands are stained only by the stigma. Even Sephiroth – Shin-Ra's creation – could not help what Shin-Ra made him. Tseng chose his path – for reasons that are hard to remember now, but that were no justification for what he's done. Tseng embraced Shin-Ra – became Veld's heir – took Shin-Ra's evil into himself when the time came, and, when he stopped being a coward, showed Aerith what it looked like.
Tseng does not deserve to be saved.
And why would he pray? He has never believed in any kind of salvation – in life after death. He has seen, so many times, the way that life ends when the brain dies. Targets terminated with a single bullet. Soldiers, wounded in battle, no longer themselves when parts of their minds are destroyed. Colleagues – friends – killed in the line of duty – nothing but empty bodies – gone. There is no Promised Land.
Rufus used to believe in it – perhaps more cynically – less eagerly – than his father had. But he still searched, and Tseng, with him, although Tseng never believed. But now Rufus has a new vision – a less glittering prize. His Promised Land is Edge now – a rebuilt city, and one day a rebuilt world, and he is the one doing the promising through his uneasy alliance with Reeve. Perhaps Tseng hasn't been a complete failure, then. If Reno and Rude have given Rufus Jenova's head – if they can keep Rufus safe – there's a chance of a cure, and a future.
Kadaj is becoming bored. He pushes Souba hard into Sephiroth's old wound, and twists, not quite deep enough to kill. Tseng's screams have stopped amusing him for today.
"I know where Mother is, anyway," he says, staring down at Tseng with eyes that are colder than Sephiroth's ever were.
Tseng presses his hands against the wound, but his hands are damaged too, and the pressure is weak.
"I'm going to visit Rufus Shinra," Kadaj announces, running a gloved finger along the blooded edge of one of Souba's blades. "I think he knows exactly where Mother is, don't you?" When Tseng makes no reply, Kadaj smiles. "Don't go anywhere," he says. "I'm not sure whether or not we've finished with you just yet."
When Kadaj has gone, there's only silence. Tseng wonders where Elena is whether she's alive – but he can't move. All he can do his hold the wound closed and breath the pain in and out. When Kadaj finds Rufus, will Reno and Rude be able to protect him? It seems unlikely. These creatures are too strong.
Tseng closes his eyes, and thinks about the people he's failed. Aerith. Zack. Elena, now. Rufus. He thinks he hears laughter – blood loss will do strange things to the mind.
"Feeling sorry for yourself?"
It's her voice – just as though she were alive. That same clear sweetness. That edge of mockery.
"Sorry – for a lot of things. But not for myself, no."
"Poor Tseng. You never could save anyone, could you? And you tried so hard!"
"Trying – doesn't mean anything."
He can almost see her now, head on one side, eyebrows raised, something bird-like in her gestures. "You don't believe that," she says. "Or – you shouldn't. But perhaps you do."
There's so much he wants to say – to explain. Absurdly, he wants to ask, Are you all right? But she's dead.
She tosses her head and gives a shrug. "I'm all right. I suppose – you want to be forgiven?" She sounds a little petulant, a little bored, as she adds, "They all do." It makes him smile, because she hasn't changed at all, and she's still as much human as Cetra. He feels foolish that he ever thought she was more one than the other.
"I wouldn't ask that," he says.
"Oh, no. Of course - you wouldn't." She turns away, looks back at him over her shoulder, capricious as ever. "It doesn't matter anyway. Someone's coming." He hears her laughter, but he can no longer see her face. He thinks he can smell the faint sweet-sharp scent of her flowers though – the flowers from the church, yellow and white.
But something red is moving through the shadows. Painfully, slowly, Tseng turns his head and looks into the crimson eyes of his rescuer.
In his mind he hears Aerith's voice again. "Don't worry so much, Tseng! Go and save Rufus. After all, you're still alive!"
End
"That blade!" Kadaj says softly, with reverence. "It must have been a clean cut. What happened to leave such a mess?"
Tseng says nothing – thinks about golden light, an altar, the silence when they'd left him. Still alive. By the time he'd reached hospital it had been too late for cure – and then the haematoma under the wound, followed by infection. A mess, yes. But he'd lived.
I'm still alive.
He'd said that to them – in the temple. I'm still alive. Why? What had he meant by it? Was he hoping to reassure her even though she'd given him no reason to think she was concerned that he might die?
Kadaj presses the double-edged katana into Tseng's flesh – not deep, but enough to bring blood beading along the blades. Kadaj's eyes are focussed on the blood and his smile is that of a fascinated child. "You're thinking about Him, aren't you?" he asks. Tseng almost smiles too, because Kadaj is so wrong.
Aerith cried. Tears for a Shinra Turk who betrayed her every time he was weak enough to give her a soft look or a kind word. She cried, and then she left him to die. Well – that was justice. Hadn't he done worse? Given her a show of sympathy and collaborated in maintaining her illusion of freedom, and then delivered her to hell.
Still, though, he'd been disappointed. He knew what he was and had made sure – in the end - that she knew it. But he'd thought she was more – more than him – perhaps more than anyone else.
"Humans are so weak," Kadaj observes. "Mother destroyed almost all the Cetra, and they were powerful. The blade that made this –" Kadaj puts pressure on the katana, pushing into the old wound, and Tseng can't stifle a cry – "His blade – finished the last of the Cetra. What chance do you think you'll have? Why fight? Where's Mother?"
Aerith had always insisted on her humanity – her ordinariness – in the face of all evidence. Wasn't that why she hadn't tried to save him? To save a creature like him – the embodiment of Shin-Ra's evil – would be an act of super-human forgiveness. And Aerith was desperate to prove that she wasn't some kind of benevolent being from a long-lost civilisation. Why would she want to be? The Cetra failed! If the Shin-Ra scientists were to be believed, she was the last of that race. Look at humanity – how it survives! She was a girl from the slums and she tried so hard to be only that. But even there, she never fitted in. Who else would happen to be standing in the right place when a hero fell through her roof – twice? Who sells flowers, in the slums? Who else can make them grow?
Tseng wonders, would she save him now, if he prayed? Now that she's free of that human body – that beautiful, fragile-looking girl who was normal and not normal – who could fight, and swear and hate, and make flowers grow where it was impossible for flowers to grow – now is she purely Cetra? Now would she forgive him? If he prays – if he means it – will she save them all – Tseng and Elena from these Shadows of Sephiroth – the citizens of Edge from the geostigma? Will she save Rufus? Would she have pity on someone whose destiny always seemed as inescapable as her own?
But Tseng knows that he is worse than Rufus. Rufus is his father's heir, and his hands are stained only by the stigma. Even Sephiroth – Shin-Ra's creation – could not help what Shin-Ra made him. Tseng chose his path – for reasons that are hard to remember now, but that were no justification for what he's done. Tseng embraced Shin-Ra – became Veld's heir – took Shin-Ra's evil into himself when the time came, and, when he stopped being a coward, showed Aerith what it looked like.
Tseng does not deserve to be saved.
And why would he pray? He has never believed in any kind of salvation – in life after death. He has seen, so many times, the way that life ends when the brain dies. Targets terminated with a single bullet. Soldiers, wounded in battle, no longer themselves when parts of their minds are destroyed. Colleagues – friends – killed in the line of duty – nothing but empty bodies – gone. There is no Promised Land.
Rufus used to believe in it – perhaps more cynically – less eagerly – than his father had. But he still searched, and Tseng, with him, although Tseng never believed. But now Rufus has a new vision – a less glittering prize. His Promised Land is Edge now – a rebuilt city, and one day a rebuilt world, and he is the one doing the promising through his uneasy alliance with Reeve. Perhaps Tseng hasn't been a complete failure, then. If Reno and Rude have given Rufus Jenova's head – if they can keep Rufus safe – there's a chance of a cure, and a future.
Kadaj is becoming bored. He pushes Souba hard into Sephiroth's old wound, and twists, not quite deep enough to kill. Tseng's screams have stopped amusing him for today.
"I know where Mother is, anyway," he says, staring down at Tseng with eyes that are colder than Sephiroth's ever were.
Tseng presses his hands against the wound, but his hands are damaged too, and the pressure is weak.
"I'm going to visit Rufus Shinra," Kadaj announces, running a gloved finger along the blooded edge of one of Souba's blades. "I think he knows exactly where Mother is, don't you?" When Tseng makes no reply, Kadaj smiles. "Don't go anywhere," he says. "I'm not sure whether or not we've finished with you just yet."
When Kadaj has gone, there's only silence. Tseng wonders where Elena is whether she's alive – but he can't move. All he can do his hold the wound closed and breath the pain in and out. When Kadaj finds Rufus, will Reno and Rude be able to protect him? It seems unlikely. These creatures are too strong.
Tseng closes his eyes, and thinks about the people he's failed. Aerith. Zack. Elena, now. Rufus. He thinks he hears laughter – blood loss will do strange things to the mind.
"Feeling sorry for yourself?"
It's her voice – just as though she were alive. That same clear sweetness. That edge of mockery.
"Sorry – for a lot of things. But not for myself, no."
"Poor Tseng. You never could save anyone, could you? And you tried so hard!"
"Trying – doesn't mean anything."
He can almost see her now, head on one side, eyebrows raised, something bird-like in her gestures. "You don't believe that," she says. "Or – you shouldn't. But perhaps you do."
There's so much he wants to say – to explain. Absurdly, he wants to ask, Are you all right? But she's dead.
She tosses her head and gives a shrug. "I'm all right. I suppose – you want to be forgiven?" She sounds a little petulant, a little bored, as she adds, "They all do." It makes him smile, because she hasn't changed at all, and she's still as much human as Cetra. He feels foolish that he ever thought she was more one than the other.
"I wouldn't ask that," he says.
"Oh, no. Of course - you wouldn't." She turns away, looks back at him over her shoulder, capricious as ever. "It doesn't matter anyway. Someone's coming." He hears her laughter, but he can no longer see her face. He thinks he can smell the faint sweet-sharp scent of her flowers though – the flowers from the church, yellow and white.
But something red is moving through the shadows. Painfully, slowly, Tseng turns his head and looks into the crimson eyes of his rescuer.
In his mind he hears Aerith's voice again. "Don't worry so much, Tseng! Go and save Rufus. After all, you're still alive!"
End
LicoriceAllsorts
Donator
Oh, that's by redcherryamber. I love all her stuff.
Celes Chere
Banned
- AKA
- Noctis
Not bad at all.
Octo
KULT OF KERMITU
- AKA
- Octo, Octorawk, Clarky Cat, Kissmammal2000
Well I can handle fluffy woolen Tseng. And even fluffy fanart to some extent....like that one I had of Tseng and Reeve walking in the snow. I just tell myself that theyre going to assasinate someone, and then have some alfresco sex behind a skip...uh..
HEY WHERE IS THE FANART YOU PROMISES?! ;_;
ahh there it is! My Aeris looks rather young there....before I scrolled down I thought she was child-Aeris @_@
HEY WHERE IS THE FANART YOU PROMISES?! ;_;
ahh there it is! My Aeris looks rather young there....before I scrolled down I thought she was child-Aeris @_@