New Novel, FINAL FANTASY VII Lateral Biography TURKS: The Kids Are Alright [SPOILER THREAD]

[Octo]

No, it's not that. I loved quite a lot of OTWTAS, especially Case of Shinra. But I shall feel compulsively compelled to re-write my entire fanfic in order to accomodate the new canon; it will eat away at me if I don't. I really hope it's all post-AC. The title makes me hope that it is. Even then, though, there will probably be backstory and character development like there was in CoS. I loved those BC Turks because they were such blank slates. You got like a three line description of them and that was that; you could flesh them out in any way you liked. They were just like a creative writing exercise. They didn't even have names. What if they're all given names now like Cissnei was, and I hate their names? Bugger.

NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOooooOOOoooooO.......OOOOO!

Anyway, I'm not convinced that anything they do will be as good as your fic, and thats not just me licking arse here. SE have dropped more bollocks than a bunch of choirboys.

Cissnei isn't even her real name.

Ryu makes a good point here, even if they do name the Turks, you can just say that the names you've given your Turks are codenames or their real names or vice versa

What scares me more than anything is if they reveal something terrible. Like Tsengs real name being Brian or that his hair is all extensions

 

[Masamune]

The Turks were small-fry in the original FFVII. I mean, how important where they to the overall plot? Not much. They were just a bunch of suits who did Shinra's dirty work and occasionally made us smile. Now we got entire games and novels devoted to them? Jeez louise.

FANWANK HO!

 

[Octo]

The Turks were small-fry in the original FFVII. I mean, how important where they to the overall plot? Not much. They were just a bunch of suits who did Shinra's dirty work and occasionally made us smile. Now we got entire games and novels devoted to them? Jeez louise.

FANWANK HO!

You and me are going to have words.

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

Nothing wrong with some fanwank. But, then, I'm one of the twelve people who loved X-2.

 

[Cat Rage Room]

I'm entirely neutral on this. It might be good, it might not be.

 

[Octo]

I'm entirely neutral on this. It might be good, it might not be.

This is my sentiment, only if its bad it means I have to go into SE headquarters and set myself on fire

 

[Theozilla]

Interesting, it is funny how popular the Turks got despite being a supporting group of people in the original game.
I wonder what time period it will be set in?

 

[Guts]

JAPANESE MAFIA STYLE NOVEL PLZ.

If it turns out to be Seinfield with Rude and Elena, oh my god.

I hope Square's obsession with justifying and humanizing their entire cast doesn't overtake the writing again, like how they retroactively clarified Avalanche was using bombs from a more aggressive group.

The title sounds a lot like a sitcom already.

 

[Masamune]

You and me are going to have words.

What kinda words? Nouns? Verbs? Modifiers? Don't leave me in suspense, woman!

Nothing wrong with some fanwank. But, then, I'm one of the twelve people who loved X-2.

Give me fanwank I can actually wank to. Otherwise get outta my face.

 

[Octo]

What kinda words? Nouns? Verbs? Modifiers? Don't leave me in suspense, woman!

a combination, as in 'bugger the fuck off you bastarding scwhienhund'

Give me fanwank I can actually wank to. Otherwise get outta my face.

use your imagination! What is it with you guys that you have to be spoonfed wank fodder?....... Poor choice of words there, sorry.

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

The Turks were small-fry in the original FFVII. I mean, how important where they to the overall plot? Not much. They were just a bunch of suits who did Shinra's dirty work and occasionally made us smile. Now we got entire games and novels devoted to them? Jeez louise.

FANWANK HO!

I'm going to be a supernerd and point out that exactly the same thing happened with Shakespeare. Queen Elizabeth loved his secondary character Falstaff so much, even thought he was just a sidekick to prince Hal, that she demanded he have a play of his own in which she could see him fall in love. Guess fanwank has the royal seal of approval.

Don't set yourself on fire, Octo. Set them on Fire. Like Genesis does.

 

[Vivi]

This makes me a little nervous. It has potential to be good, but I'm worried that they're going to go the super fanservice route and then Reno will canonically be a former child prostitute that just wants love.

 

[Celes Chere]

I loved X-2.

I have a love-hate relationship with X-2. xD

 

[Guts]

x-2 atb
xii open endedness
a world map
card game
ff9's ate
=
vii remake

 

[Octo]

I'm going to be a supernerd and point out that exactly the same thing happened with Shakespeare. Queen Elizabeth loved his secondary character Falstaff so much, even thought he was just a sidekick to prince Hal, that she demanded he have a play of his own in which she could see him fall in love. Guess fanwank has the royal seal of approval.

This is awesome. I'm imagining her as Queenie from Blackadder II

Don't set yourself on fire, Octo. Set them on Fire. Like Genesis does.

but its my non-violent protest! or something

Also, I really wish Genesis had set himself on fire. All that nasty PVC would have gone up a treat, and all those zips and buckles would have made a nice pattern on his charred corpse and...what were we talking about?

This makes me a little nervous. It has potential to be good, but I'm worried that they're going to go the super fanservice route and then Reno will canonically be a former child prostitute that just wants love.

Yes, and lets not forget about how his pimp murdered his mother in front of him, and how Tseng was his first 'nice' customer who became enchanted by Reno's cerulean orbs. Or how Rufus is in love with him too.

 

[e.suna]

No, it's not that. I loved quite a lot of OTWTAS, especially Case of Shinra. But I shall feel compulsively compelled to re-write my entire fanfic in order to accomodate the new canon; it will eat away at me if I don't.

No, don't feel like you have to do that! Don't rewrite your stuff to align with whatever half-baked, contrived shit they come up with next in the Compilation. Some (most?) of my favorite fics were written long before AC, and they didn't have to be updated to continue to be great or relevant! So take heart!

Was Nojima involved in developing the OG? I can't remember. He wouldn't totally mess this up, right? Right??

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

He was the primary writer of the original game. Which should be reassuring, but he was also the writer of Crisis Core, so ... take that as you will.

Granted, that game's story had some good thematic elements, but it also sucked a lot too and had a shit-ton of contradictions.

 

[Theozilla]

He was the primary writer of the original game. Which should be reassuring, but he was also the writer of Crisis Core, so ... take that as you will.

Granted, that game's story had some good thematic elements, but it also sucked a lot too and had a shit-ton of contradictions.

Crisis Core had a lot of contradictions? Like what? (simply out of pure curiosity)

 

[Shademp]

I'd really like to put this on the frontpage, but I don't know if there is any other information of interest on the SE-store page that deserves translation.
http://store.jp.square-enix.com/detail/9784757534674

So we know that its name is "FINAL FANTASY VII Lateral Biography TURKS -The Kids Are Alright-", it is written by Nojima and is 338 pages long, goes for 1470 yen(?) , will be released on December 15th this year, which happens to be Barret's birthday.

Illustrations by Shou Tajima, who previously drew this for Square Enix's Shonen Gangan.
Source: http://www.ff7citadel.com/compilation/ac_media.shtml

Anything else? Do we have the title there, written in Japanese, and could it be translated in other ways?

 

[Masamune]

a combination, as in 'bugger the fuck off you bastarding scwhienhund'

I still find the title pretty ominous.
I wouldn't be surprised if it's a Turks version of Muppet Babies.

 

[Octo]

I still find the title pretty ominous.
I wouldn't be surprised if it's a Turks version of Muppet Babies.

OH MY GOD STOP STEALING MY THOUGHTS MASA @_@

Seriously, I thought the exact same thing but didnt want to say it!

Tseng is the piano playing dog, Rude is the orange one with the glasses and Reno is Animal....or Beaker, I haven't decided yet.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

 

[Theozilla]

OH MY GOD STOP STEALING MY THOUGHTS MASA @_@

Seriously, I thought the exact same thing but didnt want to say it!

Tseng is the piano playing dog, Rude is the orange one with the glasses and Reno is Animal....or Beaker, I haven't decided yet.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Who would be Kermit, Gonzo, and Miss Piggy?

 

[Guts]

but its my non-violent protest! or something

Buddhist monks in various areas actually do that as a form of protest. Christ their will is scary.

 

[Shademp]

Frontpaged. Please point out mistakes if I made any.

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

If you double check the translation of the title, I think you'll find it actually says "The Corporate Assassins Are Still in Business."