Stephen King pwns Stephenie Meyer FGJ (Now the general "Twilight Sucks" thread)

Ⓐaron

Factiō Rēpūblicāna dēlenda est.
AKA
The Man, V
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

Wait, Battlefield Earth is probably worse too. Actually anything by L. Ron Hubbard.
 

Channy

Bad Habit
AKA
Ruby Rose, Lucy
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

Mumble's greatest accomplishment yet.

jokervsmeyerrr2.gif
 

Cookie Monster

NOM NOM NOM
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=Channy link=topic=463.msg19357#msg19357 date=1234936070]
Mumble's greatest accomplishment yet.

jokervsmeyerrr2.gif

[/quote]

Great fucking Justice. Mumble. Avatar. Now.
 

Super Mario

IT'S A ME!
AKA
Jesse McCree. I feel like a New Man
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=Channy link=topic=463.msg19357#msg19357 date=1234936070]
Mumble's greatest accomplishment yet.

jokervsmeyerrr2.gif

[/quote]


It was during a party of TOILET'S offering and shit. So, I crashed it with some friends and gotted my palsma rifle and blew up the window and threw her out.


Btw: the avatar doesn't work. >(((((((
 

Cookie Monster

NOM NOM NOM
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

Was it hosted on Photobucket? If so, I think Photobucket is down.

Nevermind, it was hosted on Imageshack, so yeah, FAIL and what not.
 

Super Mario

IT'S A ME!
AKA
Jesse McCree. I feel like a New Man
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

imageshack blows. But it's faster cos I cba to log on photobucket atm.
 

Ⓐaron

Factiō Rēpūblicāna dēlenda est.
AKA
The Man, V
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=Channy link=topic=463.msg19357#msg19357 date=1234936070]
Mumble's greatest accomplishment yet.

jokervsmeyerrr2.gif

[/quote]A+
 

Channy

Bad Habit
AKA
Ruby Rose, Lucy
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

:monster:

Imageshack is used for all my hotlinkage needs.

This is a good read, basically a summary of the whole series.

Once upon a time in a land known as Sporks there lived a musical Dazzle Sparkle and a sarcastic Dull Girl. When Dazzle Sparkle met Dull Girl there was an immediate spark of chemistry.
Dazzle Sparkle: Hi. Umm, you smell good.
Dull Girl: Hi. You're purty.

Dazzle Sparkle and Dull Girl spent much time debating - a passion that they both shared. *foreshadow*
Dazzle Sparkle: Guess what I am.
Dull Girl: I dunno.
Dazzle Sparkle: C'mon. Whaddya think I am?
Dull Girl: Comic book character?
Dazzle Sparkle: I has a secret. *chuckles*

One sunny day Dull Girl meets Stinky Boy on a beach.
Stinky Boy: I fix cars.
Dull Girl: Why is Sparkle family not allowed on beach?
Stinky Boy: Sparkle family is Meyerpires. The same Meyerpires.

Dull Girl decides she does not care.
Dull Girl: I knows your secret.
Dazzle Sparkle: Crap. *eyes narrow*
Dull Girl: Does not matter. I lurves you!
Dazzle Sparkle: Me Lion. You Lamb. Together we Limb.

Dazzle Sparkle introduced Dull Girl to his family.
Dr. Sparkle: Welcome.
Mrs. Sparkle: You are brave to come here. We will not harm you.
Jazz Sparkle: Speak for yourself. I will stand over here by this ever present and much talked about staircase and keep my distance.

One day along came a big, bad Meyerpire named Jimmy Sparkle.
Jimmy Sparkle: I bite you.
Dull Girl: Ouch! That hurts! Srsly, my hand is on fire.
Dazzle Sparkle: I saves you!
Em Sparkle: Jimmy tastes good! *high keening sound whatever that is*
Jazz Sparkle: I has a match.

Dazzle Sparkle and Dull Girl attend prom and are very happy. Sparkle Dance. Sparkle Dance. Twirl. Sparkle Dance. Sparkle Dance. Twirl.
Dull Girl: Make me a Meyerpire.
Dazzle Sparkle: No. Never.

Then one day Dull Girl gets a paper cut.
Dazzle Sparkle: Yeah. I don't want you.
Dull Girl: Oh. Okay.

Dull Girl is sad. She finds Stinky Boy and they open up a monster garage.
Stinky Boy: These cycles rule! Oh, BTW - I lurve you!
Dull Girl: Uh, okay. But my heart still belongs to Dazzle Sparkle. But I don't mind leading you on.
Stinky Boy: I must have low self-esteem because I'll take it.
Dull Girl: Hey, my sarcasm is back since Dazzle Sparkle left. Is that a cowinky dink?

BillyBob Onyx: You look weird.
Stinky Boy's heart & uh, everything else furslpodes.
Stinky Boy: I no longer want you Dull Girl. I too has a secret.

Dull Girl throws self off cliff.
Dull Girl: Extreme sports rule! Goodbye...world...angel...*gurgle*
Crazy Sparkle: Snap out of it Dull Girl! We must go save Dazzle Sparkle!
Dull Girl: Okay.

Dull Girl slams into Dazzle Sparkle.
Dazzle Sparkle: Dr. Sparkle was right! Amazing! *chiseled chest planes, cheek bones*

Up in a castle turret far away from the maddening crowd enjoying St. Rock Sparkle Day the fate of our three friends is being decided.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: Should we kill you? No, we can't. Such a waste! But we must! No, please join us young friends.
Angry Sparkle: No! The Meyerpire laws claim them!
Rock Sparkle: I don't care.
Crazy Sparkle: I will make Dull Girl a Meyerpire.

They exit the Vulture Sparkle Debate Team city walls.
Crazy Sparkle: I'm sure glad we talked our way out of that. I bet that never happens again. *foreshadow*
Dull Girl: Make me a Meyerpire.
Dazzle Sparkle: No. Never.

So all the Sparkles and Dull Girl return to Sporks to live happily ever after. Until...

Psycho Grudge Sparkle: I will kill you Dull Girl! Your Dazzle Sparkle killed my Jimmy Sparkle. *tosses orange bozo clown hair*
Dazzle Sparkle: I will not let you hurt Dull Girl.
Stinky Boy: Yeah! I has a werewolf now! I won't let you hurt Dull Girl either!

Fight. Fight. Em Sparkle enjoys himself. Fight. Fight.
* Since the mythical residents of Sporks will never see another fight again I'll indulge a little more here reader.*
Fight. Fight. Rip. Tear. Fire. Incense.
Stinky Boy: *slobbers all over Dull Girl* Stay with me Dull Girl. I lurves you.
Dull Girl: Yeah, no can do. Dazzle Sparkle is back and the fairy tale nightmare is back on. I mean, can't you tell? My sarcasm is gone again.
Dazzle Sparkle: I will lurves Dull Girl forever. Every single day of forever.
Dull Girl: Make me a Meyerpire.
Dazzle Sparkle: No. Never.

Wedding Gown. Crazy Sparkle decorations. Music. Vows. Sparkle Dance. Twirl. Isle Esme.
Dull Girl: If you don't make sweet salt water taffy lurve to me right now I will die!
Dazzle Sparkle: Okay.
Bitten pillow. Or two. Feathers. Bruises. Broken Headboard. Ripped Lingerie. *fade to black*
Dull Girl: I don't feel so good. *vomit fried chicken*
Dazzle Sparkle: Uh, we better get you home to Sporks. Me thinks you has a demon spawn.

Airport. Dull Girl runs to Barbie Sparkle.
Dr. Sparkle: We must get rid of demon spawn.
Dazzle Sparkle: Agreed. I'll just loan Dull Girl out to Stinky Boy and that will take care of the problem.
Dull Dirl: No! I keeps the baby! I lurve him!!!
Barbie Sparkle: I'll help you Dull Girl. Think of some utterly ridiculous names to name our, I mean your baby while I get you a sippy cup full of O negative goodness.

Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. Bones breaking. Vomit. Eyes bursting. Spine cracking.
Dull Girl: Make me a Meyerpire.
Dazzle Sparkle: Huh? Sure, why not. I was just messing around all those other times. I cares not for your soul. It's not like you'll have to sacrifice anything anyways.

TWO DAY BLACKOUT NOT CAUSED BY MEYERPIRE SEXIN.

Dull Girl Sparkle: OMG! I am a super Mary Sue Meyerpire. I don't care about human blood. *yawn* I am in control of all of my emotions instantly. Watch me hunt for dinosaurs in my pale blue designer dress. Grrr.
Jazz Sparkle: *hangs head in shame* I is a failure at tofu lifestyle.
Mrs. Sparkle: *presses hands to face*
Crazy Sparkle: Wait! I made you a closet! I want to recommend a lawyer to you!

Dull Girl Sparkle returns from hunt in ripped dress and missing her Manolo Blahnik's.
Dull Girl Sparkle: Where is my Sparkle baby?
Loch Ness Sparkle: I am here momma! I just finished reading War & Peace by Tolstoy. Let me show you. *presses hands to Dull Girl Sparkle face*
Dull Girl Sparkle: Okay, enough of that. I need me some more Meyerpire sexin. *fade to black*

Dull Girl Sparkle: Okay I am back. Give me my Sparkle baby Barbie sparkle. (Say that five times fast)
Stinky Boy: Guess what Dull Girl Sparkle? I lurve Loch Ness Sparkle! We will be together in seven years.
Dull Girl Sparkle: Noooo!!!!

Bing Bong
Dr. Sparkle: Someone's at the door. I'll get it. Why, it's the Vulture Sparkle Debate Team. Come on in.
Crazy Sparkle and Jazz Sparkle run away.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: We have come to kill the Tofu Sparkle Family Unit. You has a child ripped off from an Anne Rice novel.
Angry Sparkle: Yes, my precious! Kill them all!
Rock Sparkle: I don't care.
Dull Girl Sparkle: Don't worry. I'll protect us with my Mary Sue love shield.
Dazzle Sparkle: That won't be necessary. I can hear that they only want to debate us.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: We have decided to kill you.
Dazzle Sparkle: No.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: But, we just decided. C'mon.
Dazzle Sparkle: No.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: But -
Dazzle Sparkle No.
Bi-Polar Sparkle: Okay, we leave. Sorry to bother you.
Crazy Sparkle and Jazz Sparkle return.

Dull Girl Sparkle: Oh Dazzle Sparkle. Listen to my thoughts.
Dazzle Sparkle: Ewww! All you think about is Meyerpire sexin. Oh well. I guess it will be something to do for the next couple of centuries.

And so all the Sparkles lived happily ever after. The End. *fade to black*

aaaaaaaaaand this. Just cause

twilightcomicfullaz5.jpg

 

Super Mario

IT'S A ME!
AKA
Jesse McCree. I feel like a New Man
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

I'll exorcise it, by throwing the god damned thing out of the window, like how it should be done.
 

Tennyo

Higher Further Faster
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

lol That's pretty funny.

[quote author=Channy link=topic=463.msg19357#msg19357 date=1234936070]
Mumble's greatest accomplishment yet.

jokervsmeyerrr2.gif

[/quote]

XD Love it! But it moves too fast. Someone slow it down please?
 

Super Mario

IT'S A ME!
AKA
Jesse McCree. I feel like a New Man
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

Internet Explorer makes it move slow surprisingly.
 

kunoichi

dead
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

I lol'd at that (better) version of the twilight books. Now if someone could show this to chris....
 

Tennyo

Higher Further Faster
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=Emperor Joker link=topic=463.msg19815#msg19815 date=1235040984]
Internet Explorer makes it move slow surprisingly.
[/quote]

Really? It moves hella fast in Firefox. Makes my eyes hurt. :/
 

Celes Chere

Banned
AKA
Noctis
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

Hangon wat, was this aimed at me? I'm very sleepy and can't tell.

Sorry for the super late reply. :monster:

No, it definitely wasn't directed at you. I was actually directly quoting Stephanie Meyer. :duhard:
 

Lelouch

--Tamashi no Rufuran
AKA
Emiya Shirou, Oz Vessalius, LPod, Belldandy, L-Phone
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=Tennyo link=topic=463.msg14333#msg14333 date=1233737718]
Twilight would be better without the love story IMHO. I find myself caring more about the minor characters than Edward and Bella, who annoy the crap out of me by the way.
[/quote]

I hate those two the most. The story should've been better without their "love story". Unlike Harry Potter. Well yes, Harry Potter has such things. But hell, it's still cool. Unlike Twilight. I remember when I first watched Twilight in school, the other female audiences shouted, when Edward showed up really annoyed me.

Twilight Sucks.
 

kunoichi

dead
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=LPod link=topic=463.msg26180#msg26180 date=1236078093]
Twilight Sucks.
[/quote]

Of course it does. The world would be a better place if Twilight didn't excist and Meyer could go back to being nothing instead of receiving all this unnessersary attention.
 

Super Mario

IT'S A ME!
AKA
Jesse McCree. I feel like a New Man
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

Very interesting. I want to bring Meyer in for disection to see if she has any brain. But alas, I will never know and the sad fact is... Lots of fangirls are drooling over this garbage. : (
 

Lelouch

--Tamashi no Rufuran
AKA
Emiya Shirou, Oz Vessalius, LPod, Belldandy, L-Phone
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=Emperor Joker link=topic=463.msg26211#msg26211 date=1236083616]
Very interesting. I want to bring Meyer in for disection to see if she has any brain. But alas, I will never know and the sad fact is... Lots of fangirls are drooling over this garbage. : (
[/quote]

Unfortunately, she doesn't have any brain at all, you'll regret giving any attention to her.

[quote author=kunoichi link=topic=463.msg26209#msg26209 date=1236083500]
[quote author=LPod link=topic=463.msg26180#msg26180 date=1236078093]
Twilight Sucks.
[/quote]

Of course it does. The world would be a better place if Twilight didn't excist and Meyer could go back to being nothing instead of receiving all this unnessersary attention.
[/quote]

even nobodies don't neeed attention, pityful.
 

Super Mario

IT'S A ME!
AKA
Jesse McCree. I feel like a New Man
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

OF COURSE! THAT'S IT! SHE HAS NO BRAIN!! I think this will be a wonderful time to test this new contraption I plan to unleash :monster:
 

Lelouch

--Tamashi no Rufuran
AKA
Emiya Shirou, Oz Vessalius, LPod, Belldandy, L-Phone
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=Emperor Joker link=topic=463.msg26224#msg26224 date=1236085351]
OF COURSE! THAT'S IT! SHE HAS NO BRAIN!! I think this will be a wonderful time to test this new contraption I plan to unleash :monster:
[/quote]

an experimental species Meyer shall become! not like a J.K. Rowling superwriter. :monster:
 

Nancysing

Lv. 25 Adventurer
AKA
Nancy, Altoangel, DireChimes
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

I like Twilight because it's like junk food- sweet and addicting, but empty calories in a literary sense.
Junk food for my brain when I'm not reading more 'nutritious' books is how I see it.
 

Super Mario

IT'S A ME!
AKA
Jesse McCree. I feel like a New Man
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

Sorry to interupt but.. you mean to say you like shitty books?

Interesting..........
 

Max Payne

Banned
AKA
Leon S. Kennedy,Terry Bogard, The Dark Knight, Dacon, John Marston, Teal'c
Re: Stephen King pwns Stephanie Meyer FGJ

[quote author=Nancysing link=topic=463.msg26573#msg26573 date=1236129192]
I like Twilight
[/quote]

Stopped reading there. Sorry.
 
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