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He wanted her to stay in the city when he was going to go after Tifa and save her too. So I don't think that's anything he was hiding, Aerith knew when she was alive that Cloud wanted to protect his friends and etc.
Exactly -- the desire to protect those friends he met (even while he was messed up), to stay for Tifa's sake, to keep Aeris out of danger, are all qualities of the real Cloud, despite how much he tried to keep up the charade of "I don't give a damn about anyone".
tbh Celes I don't understand where this mother talk is coming from, if what we're discussing is Cloud's personality. I believe it was brought up before but Tifa directly connects her motherly feelings towards Cloud. It doesn't diminish either one of their roles as a romantic interests. On Aeris' part, being dead does.
Aerith thinks about all of the things that make Cloud unique (more than his gesture and walk), and awakens Zack. She admits she doesn't know Cloud, even.
It was his gesutres that Cloud took, which is why it started bringing up Zack, since that's who Cloud tried to emulate. But even after this, there is no indication she has renouced her love for Cloud, and she still tells Zack that Cloud is who she prefers. Aeris is pretty blunt and upfront about things - if she realized there was nothing unique about Cloud she loved and it was only Zack, I'd like to think that would have been addressed.
Also, even if we exclude Maiden from the argument, CoL still says that she is in love with him - so there must be some part of him she saw enough to love.
And on the other side (considering Maiden uncanon) it still connects as Cloud's Mother said that he belonged with a woman who was like a Mother, and who was older than him. Aerith meets both of those qualities. However, Cloud's response to that was:
"Not interested."
I think you're overanalyzing a little bit. No teenage guy wants to be told by his mom "I should set you up with a girl like me."
What I'm saying is basically that there is a lot messed up with Cloud, but I don't think it's so fogged up that he can't form relationships with people, or that they can't form one with him. After all, most of his friendships were made on disk one, and they still seem to hold the same meaning to him before and after the Lifestream. The only difference is he is more open and less trying to be a hardass.
And I just want to note that I totally respect what you're saying, if I came off as mean anywhere up there.
Nono! It's cool, I enjoy discussing these things with you. =)