The General Turks Worship Thread

[Kassi]

I would watch anything with Joseph Gordon-Levitt in it. I mean, I think he can actually act, but it's hard to tell, as my critical faculties just melt away....

My sentiments exactly! Like... to a 't'. ILU Lic!

@ Octo -- mouth! mouth! mouth! I'm such an enabler!

<3
Kassi

 

[Lex]

Moar Two Guns? Only this time it's fanart. I'm not a huge fan of the boyish feminism in a male character (and I find that all too often Reno is portrayed like that, but it kind of suits his character) however, I think this is really well done:

Also this smaller one.

And here is my all time favourite Reno moment:

EDIT: My post is a very special number so NO ONE REPLY EVER AGAIN:

Also I found this and it's hilarious (Vincent's face!), Kinda looks like they played spin the bottle...

Spoiler: LOL

 

[Soakette]

This should be your follow up to DIPOTP, taking a cue from Fiddy Shades....only not shit of course

What!? How dare you! I love those books.

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Ffity Flavours of Turkish Delight, Part 1

Recent fine arts graduate Soaketta Head was sitting at the chipped counter of her local coffee shop, making her double latte last all morning while she poured over the job ads and tried to calculate how much interest she would be owing on her student loans when she reached retirement age, when the bell rang and an extremely sexy tall bald man with piercing chrysoberyl eyes, skin the colour of a skilfully frothed cappucino like you might drink on the Champs Elysee with just a dash of kahlua and some cinnamon sprinkled on top and many intriguing studs that were no doubt gifts from ex-lovers piercing his shapely ear lobes walked in wearing the most beautifully tailored dark-blue pin-striped three piece suit and silk tie Soaketta had ever seen.

This man's appearance simply screamed money, and lots of it.

Soaketta found the thought very arousing. She slowly stirred her spoon in the dregs of her latte, in a lingering, sensual way.

The delicate crystal chime of her teaspoon on the lip of her white mug caught the extremely hot and somewhat dark-skinned wealthy man's attention. He turned his head to look her way, removing his six hundred dollar Prada sunglasses to get a better look at the bold wench who had the temerity to impinge on his consciousness.

His eyes were like turbid golden pools of lust shining with the fulfilled desires purchased by all that filthy lucre. Soaketta felt even more aroused and moved her spoon faster.

She recognised him, of course. What woman who had ever spent a hour sitting under a hair dryer in the local salon on half-price trainee day reading "Hullo" Magazine from cover to cover would fail to recognise the enigmatic Rudolphus Maximovich Attaturk, a notorious oil billionaire from the formerly Soviety republic of Turkmenistan, owner of several football teams including Instanbul United and Wolverhampton Wanderers, his own island in the Turks and Caicos, a TV studio in Seoul producing high quality soap operas starring hot young Korean actors who resembled video game characters, and an extremely large private jet.

The dark pupils of his sensuous smouldering eyes widened as he looked her slowly up and down, and Soaketta could sense that he was as aroused and intrigued as she was.

In that moment, Soaketta knew she had met her destiny.

 

[Morello]

Just fantastic! Love Rudolphus Maximovich Attaturk and all the Turk references. The only thing you forgot to add - the thing that drove me nuts on almost every page of that book:

Oh my!

Images of Dorothy every time.

Oh - and shouldn't Soaketta have fallen off her chair by now?

Part 2 please! Can't wait to find out what Rudolphus' dark secret is. Surely he should be dropping instant hints already - "I'd like a cappuccino and two rolls of duct tape please," he growled...

 

[Octo]

What!? How dare you! I love those books.

To be fair, from what I read of the original fic, the sex scenes aren't too bad and are indeed fapworthy.....its just the bits in between that suck imo

And of course, I don't know how much tweaking went on before it was published, the online sporking doesn't give the full transcript sadly.

 

[Unlucky]

I never thought I would find Tseng's real-life doppleganger. I thought he was just too perfect to be real. But somebody on tumblr found him! Follow this link and see:

http://oppajoahae.tumblr.com/post/15805712091

No idea who he is. he's not the "Kim Bum" (no jokes please) of the tag.

Ehrmahgerd is that KIM BUM?? The last time I remember seeing him, he looked waaaay too girly for my tastes-- how did he turn into this sexy beast?? :gasp: Now I can never imagine Tseng looking differently again.

I have to agree with Soak-- I can't really imagine anyone else besides the Rock to be the real-life Rude. Reno, on the other hand definitely looks like a Korean actor/model but we've yet to find the perfect look-alike

I can't really think of anyone who looks as pretty as Rufus, but I have these two Alexanders in mind:

Spoiler: Alex 1

I don't really think he looks exactly like him save for the blonde hair and blue eyes (and the appeal, if that counts), but this guy sure is sexy as hell that it's hard to believe he's this guy in Zoolander:

Spoiler: Alex 2

He seems close enough at least to me.

Spoiler: Turk Vincent

This guy is Japanese-Spanish actor Yuu Shirota and he's one of the most good-looking Asian actors around imo. He reminds me of Vincent (although Vincent's eyes are more slanted in DoC), I dunno, maybe because of the hair?

Are the images working? Lol sorry for the big ones

Spoiler

Ffity Flavours of Turkish Delight, Part 1

Recent fine arts graduate Soaketta Head was sitting at the chipped counter of her local coffee shop, making her double latte last all morning while she poured over the job ads and tried to calculate how much interest she would be owing on her student loans when she reached retirement age, when the bell rang and an extremely sexy tall bald man with piercing chrysoberyl eyes, skin the colour of a skilfully frothed cappucino like you might drink on the Champs Elysee with just a dash of kahlua and some cinnamon sprinkled on top and many intriguing studs that were no doubt gifts from ex-lovers piercing his shapely ear lobes walked in wearing the most beautifully tailored dark-blue pin-striped three piece suit and silk tie Soaketta had ever seen.

This man's appearance simply screamed money, and lots of it.

Soaketta found the thought very arousing. She slowly stirred her spoon in the dregs of her latte, in a lingering, sensual way.

The delicate crystal chime of her teaspoon on the lip of her white mug caught the extremely hot and somewhat dark-skinned wealthy man's attention. He turned his head to look her way, removing his six hundred dollar Prada sunglasses to get a better look at the bold wench who had the temerity to impinge on his consciousness.

His eyes were like turbid golden pools of lust shining with the fulfilled desires purchased by all that filthy lucre. Soaketta felt even more aroused and moved her spoon faster.

She recognised him, of course. What woman who had ever spent a hour sitting under a hair dryer in the local salon on half-price trainee day reading "Hullo" Magazine from cover to cover would fail to recognise the enigmatic Rudolphus Maximovich Attaturk, a notorious oil billionaire from the formerly Soviety republic of Turkmenistan, owner of several football teams including Instanbul United and Wolverhampton Wanderers, his own island in the Turks and Caicos, a TV studio in Seoul producing high quality soap operas starring hot young Korean actors who resembled video game characters, and an extremely large private jet.

The dark pupils of his sensuous smouldering eyes widened as he looked her slowly up and down, and Soaketta could sense that he was as aroused and intrigued as she was.

In that moment, Soaketta knew she had met her destiny.

The next chapters should definitely be tagged NSFW

 

[Morello]

To be fair, from what I read of the original fic, the sex scenes aren't too bad and are indeed fapworthy.....its just the bits in between that suck imo

I read the first book, and I agree - the sex scenes would have been okay, except that just when things were getting interesting Ana almost always either thought "Oh my", or Grey said something "dominant" that made me laugh, along the lines of "You will be mine!" etc. Or the Inner Goddess did a dance. It just all seemed very Mills and Boon with a smattering of spanking.

But i'm all for erotic fiction by and aimed at women becoming more mainstream.

Unlucky - Turk Vincent is great, and I really like Alex 1. Very Rufus. I couldn't find a more Rufusy Rufus, but in looking for him I found a Lazard:

Spoiler: Half Brother of an honorary Turk?

Sorry for the Turk fail in this post.

 

[Octo]

I read the first book, and I agree - the sex scenes would have been okay, except that just when things were getting interesting Ana almost always either thought "Oh my", or Grey said something "dominant" that made me laugh, along the lines of "You will be mine!" etc. Or the Inner Goddess did a dance. It just all seemed very Mills and Boon with a smattering of spanking. [/spoiler]

XD Yeah, it all got a bit 'Carry On Spanking' didn't it? Half the time Grey was saying stuff that just made me think 'how can she not burst out laughing here?'

But i'm all for erotic fiction by and aimed at women becoming more mainstream.

Amen to that!

As for Rufus, I think a young Michael Fassbender could pull it off - yeah the hair colour is wrong but that could be fixed! http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhcifcHEx51qfuqrwo1_1280.jpg

 

[Soakette]

LIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMH WHAT A NICE MORNING SURPIRSE!!! I LOVED THAT AND I LOVE YOU!!!! PART 2 PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

Also... In my version of the books Ana doesn't say oh My, But what pissed me is that almost everytime that someone said something it would end with "he/she murmured" ALL THE TIME! Like where do these people live in? Murmuring land? that even if you speak a little bit normal you would get stoned to death? It was annoying reading that.

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

I am happy to have brightened your morning, Soak. It was fun to write!

I haven't read these books. I was hoping not to. I think I might read the spork, that might make it tolerable. Which thread can I find the link in?

Cherry, I love that Lazard, in fact I think he's too good for Lazard and really ought to be Rufus - he's dressed for the part and has that lock of hair falling over his eye. (Not a Lazard fan here). Pug, Turk Vincent is perfect. All the Rufuses are gorgeous. I think it's really interesting how all our definitions of 'hot' are slightly different and how we all see different things in the characters and so see different actors as "looking like them". I might think one actor is a dead ringer for Rufus and the rest of you might not see it at all.

Is our Turks Worship thread the happiest place on the forum?

BTW I miss Fangu.

 

[Octo]

I am happy to have brightened your morning, Soak. It was fun to write!

I haven't read these books. I was hoping not to. I think I might read the spork, that might make it tolerable. Which thread can I find the link in?

http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/242338.html

I also have a PDF of the original Twilight fic it was based off of (purely for academic purposes of course!) if you email me (address on my profile) I'll send it to you (I don't want to upload it anywhere because it was hard to get hold of - all the original copies of the fic were taken down and I don't want to get my ass sued! )

I think it's really interesting how all our definitions of 'hot' are slightly different and how we all see different things in the characters and so see different actors as "looking like them". I might think one actor is a dead ringer for Rufus and the rest of you might not see it at all.

Yeah, but also I think different people have different elements of the characters, so I guess some sort of cross breeding is in order Also, with Reno and Rufus in particular - they went through quite dramatic changes from FFVII to AC. Rufus in AC looks and acts so much older than he did in VII. In VII he was very smart, but also very....bratish? in his mannerisms.

I think Mr Bum is the closest yet to a RL Tseng, but at the same time he seems quite youthful and cheery, I would have to see some pictures of him opening a hefty gas bill or something Plus in my headcanon I think I've always seen Tseng as being mixed race...I dunno why.

Is our Turks Worship thread the happiest place on the forum?

Yes, its the only guaranteed flame-free place on TLS!

BTW I miss Fangu.

Me too!

 

[Unlucky]

As for Rufus, I think a young Michael Fassbender could pull it off - yeah the hair colour is wrong but that could be fixed! http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhcifcHEx51qfuqrwo1_1280.jpg

Wow I'm a huge Michael Fass-bend-me-over fangirl and it's the first time I've seen this picture! Thank you thank you!

Fassy can pull off everything! He is so damn good. He can portray a tree and win an Oscar for it

Is our Turks Worship thread the happiest place on the forum?

BTW I miss Fangu.

Definitely the happiest, and the sexiest and with the most lustful members

Spoiler: Here's Yuu Shirota in a suit to complete the look

I miss Fangu too, she's missing all the fun

Yeah, but also I think different people have different elements of the characters, so I guess some sort of cross breeding is in order Also, with Reno and Rufus in particular - they went through quite dramatic changes from FFVII to AC. Rufus in AC looks and acts so much older than he did in VII. In VII he was very smart, but also very....bratish? in his mannerisms.

True, in fact after AC I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that Reno is older than him. They made him sound too old and wise that the only way (I think?) for the audience to pick up that he's still young is to alter him physically, give him a more 'twinky' look-- but I wouldn't want that because Rufus looks perfect to me in every way

I think Mr Bum is the closest yet to a RL Tseng, but at the same time he seems quite youthful and cheery, I would have to see some pictures of him opening a hefty gas bill or something Plus in my headcanon I think I've always seen Tseng as being mixed race...I dunno why.

Kim Bum is perfect as Tseng ONLY if he retains this look. He still looks too cute to be Tseng for me though.. let's give him a few more years, who knows, he might ditch the cutesy look and become more buff/ manly? I'd very much like that.


On the subject of the book everyone's talking about.. I honestly don't plan on reading it, because aside from all the negative comments about it, I have a feeling that it's too vanilla for my tastes

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Wow I'm a huge Michael Fass-bend-me-over fangirl and it's the first time I've seen this picture! Thank you thank you!

Fassy can pull off everything! He is so damn good. He can portray a tree and win an Oscar for it

He's on the cover of GQ this month.
GQMF. I think they must have touched up his eyes, but they're Rufus-tastic.

 

[Octo]

Wow I'm a huge Michael Fass-bend-me-over fangirl and it's the first time I've seen this picture! Thank you thank you!

No worries And yes, he is a very good actor too.

Kim Bum is perfect as Tseng ONLY if he retains this look. He still looks too cute to be Tseng for me though.. let's give him a few more years, who knows, he might ditch the cutesy look and become more buff/ manly? I'd very much like that.

Is there any way of contacting the guy and telling him so? I googled him and was like 'who is this 10 year old?' but if you google 'Padam Padam' where those pics we're from....swoonage!

But yeah, fingers crossed he'll maintain that look.

 

[Fangu]

Hai I'm on very expensive 3G in Germany,
Lic I love that story XD I laughed so hard!!
And I miss all of you too

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Fangu

I hope you are having a fabulous time racketing around Europe. I envy you!

 

[Vivi]

http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/242338.html

Well, there goes my evening.

The only thing I really know about these books is from this tumblr:
http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com

 

[Unlucky]

Due to my disappointment about finding out that Mr. Bum's Padam Padam pictures are the only swoon-worthy, Tsengish ones, I decided to navigate the net for moar Asian actors to stalk and

Spoiler: Look what I found

Doesn't he look like a manlier, sexier version of Mr. Bum? ..

Spoiler: Isn't he the perfect Tseng?

Spoiler: No?

Spoiler: Hmm?

Spoiler: Still not convinced?

Spoiler: Are you sure?

Please please tell me the images work...

Whadya guys think? Gorgeous, isn't he.

And yes Octo this is a BRIBE FOR YOU TO COME BACK, we know you can see this and you can't resist them hot Asian men!!

 

[Soakette]

Wow Pug! Yes! He does make a good Tseng. And yes I can see all the images

OCTO COME BACK! THE TURKS THREAD WILL NOT BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU!

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Oh, he is lovely. Who is he?

I think we should have a caption competition for the one with the cell phone in the wineglass.

I think Mr Bum may grow into the role of Tseng. I gather he was some sort of teen idol in Korea where, as far as I can tell, they go for that baby-faced look [not like here in Justin-Bieber-land, cough cough], but as he grows into a man he'll look more manly. I started watching Padam Padam online and it was pretty good.

 

[Unlucky]

Oh, he is lovely. Who is he?

He's Taiwanese-Japanese actor Takeshi Kaneshiro. He starred in some high budget films that you guys might have watched (House of Flying Daggers, Red Cliff).

I think we should have a caption competition for the one with the cell phone in the wineglass.

I bet Kassi has already come up with her own witty caption

I think Mr Bum may grow into the role of Tseng. I gather he was some sort of teen idol in Korea where, as far as I can tell, they go for that baby-faced look [not like here in Justin-Bieber-land, cough cough], but as he grows into a man he'll look more manly. I started watching Padam Padam online and it was pretty good.

I agree, although based on my observations, the metrosexual trend among young Asian talents seem to persist even among the older actors, so I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Bum wouldn't change his appearance much. I'll keep my fingers crossed

Mr. Kaneshiro is a dying breed, really.

 

[Vivi]

I know this should go in the Tserith club, but this this artist is one of my favorites, so I don't care.

 

[Captain Jack Harkness]

Spoiler: Are you sure?

yeah, he definitely is Tseng with curly hair. definitely

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Fifty Flavours of Turkish Delight, chapter two

After her exchange of piercing meaningful glances with the exotically attractive Rudolphus Attaturk, Soaketta had to hurry so that she would not be late for her part-time job at the Bulk Barn*. Thoughts of the broodingly handsome and quite thrillingly financially well-endowed Mr Attaturk were distracting her so badly that twice she lost her way, once ending up at the swings in the public park and once nearly getting run over by a angry bell-ringing cyclist as she wandered in a daze across the road. "I wonder why is he disturbing me like this?" she wondered. "I've never spent so much time thinking about a man before. I feel quite tingly." Soaketta had been too busy with her studies to bother with the opposite sex, who all only wanted one thing anyway. "Oh my," she thought. "Oh well, I'll soon be too busy at work to keep thinking about his lucious caramel-coloured eyes and his intriguingly broad shoulders."

Imagine her surprise when, half an hour after her shift began, who should walk in to her branch of the Bulk Barn but Rude Attaturk himself. Soak didn't know why she thought of that nickname for him, because he wasn't rude at all, he was handsome and sexy and rich with extremely polished manners. She giggled. What a silly she was.

"We meet again," said Rude Attaturk in a voice like sugared honey that dripped delicious sensuality into the delicate Guylain seashells of Soak's ears. "I find myself obliged to buy the ingredients for a - confection..." He smiled at her suggestively. If only she knew what he was suggesting! His teeth were as white and shapely and cavity-free as those little pillow-shaped pieces of peppermint sugar-free chewing gum. He looked good enough to eat!

He lined up his purchases on the counter and she began to ring them through: a large tub of crunchy peanut butter; rose water; a jug of olive oil, sixteen bars of coverture chocolate; pink and white marshmallows; gummi bears; a dozen spray-cans of whipped cream, candied strawberries, a sherbet fountain and a Yorkie Bar.

"You have quite a wide selection of... icings, here," he said, gesturing with one well-manicured hand towards the large cardboard barrels filled to the brimmed with a deliciously whipped combination of guar gum, palm oil and refined sugar in a variety of intriguing flavours. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, smurf.... "Which would you - recommend?" he asked her using his warm husky voice.

"For - what?" Soaketta squeaked. Oh my, he would take her for a green young thing for sure!

"For putting on... Turkish Delight," he replied, smiling openly now with some secret knowledge that his mischievous golden eyes, which saw deep into her innocent soul, solemnly promised would one day be hers. She was interested despite herself because as far she knew, you didn't put icing on Turkish Delight, you rolled it in icing sugar - which was also a curiously arousing thought. But then, what did she know of the strange ways of the Turk people from Turkmenistan? He came from a different world from the world she knew. Rude Attaturk was a billionaire; if he wanted to put icing on his Turkish Delight, he could afford it.

"I followed you here, you know," he informed her, sending frissons of irrepresible delight tingling down her spine. "I sense that we are destined to... know one another better. I can see in your eyes that you have a... sweet tooth, as I do, though perhaps you haven't been awakened to the full intensity of its desires yet. Are you busy this weekend?"




*For non-Canadians, the Bulk Barn is where dry goods are sold wholesale at discount prices. Maybe there are also Bulk Barns in the USA? I don't know and, like EB James, I prefer not to do any research. I feel it ruins the authenticity of my vision.