What makes your day

[Max Payne]

fuck it

so i know this girl, right, and we've been friends for a while. so long story short, one day (yesterday) one thing led to another, and well...things happen, everyone's adults here and all that good stuff

so afterwards im just baskin in THE GLOW/FISTBUMPIN MYSELF and her phone rings. so she answers it and she goes into a really long conversation about stocks and business deals. keep in mind we are both still sans clothing??? this is a really long conversation by the way, she's pacing across the room and everything (no clothes)

so she hangs up and curiosity overtakes me, i mean we're not dating or anything (i am a bad person i know) so i ask "yeah who's that?"

she goes

"oh that's just my husband"

so now i'm an adulterer i guess????

LOL guy,

Ain't none of that on you.

1 you didn't know, 2 it's on her to be responsible and respectful towards her wedding

 

[Cat Rage Room]

The whole night was just really bizarre, bro. I asked her 'yeah so uh your husband uh...why aren't you banging him/but why are you talking about business deals?' she goes "Well he's a great business partner but he's also a psychopath so uh" and at the end of the night I go "Well I have to go to work in about *looks at watch* five hours so I mean I could take you home also I am an adulterer" *she's already conked out covers over head turned the other way* "Oh okay well surprise sleepover for me then uh"

Also stuff like interrupting herself during the act to talk about Herman Cain (yeah Herman Cain is a real hot topic midcoitus)

oh my god I mean it was just

 

[Hisako]

both hilariously sounding, yet offputting?



... but really, Herman freakin' Cain? I guess at least you hooked up with a well-educated woman

 

[Max Payne]

The whole night was just really bizarre, bro. I asked her 'yeah so uh your husband uh...why aren't you banging him/but why are you talking about business deals?' she goes "Well he's a great business partner but he's also a psychopath so uh" and at the end of the night I go "Well I have to go to work in about *looks at watch* five hours so I mean I could take you home also I am an adulterer" *she's already conked out covers over head turned the other way* "Oh okay well surprise sleepover for me then uh"

Also stuff like interrupting herself during the act to talk about Herman Cain (yeah Herman Cain is a real hot topic midcoitus)

oh my god I mean it was just

All of that makes her sound certifiable.

 

[Cat Rage Room]

I do not mean to be uncouth or be graphic about sex life stuff (not that I mind it in principle from others or in general. I want to be considerate to what others may not want to hear though). It is just so bizarre that I have to air it out somewhere, and honestly it's sort of cathartic to let out into the ether such a strange event.

 

[Max Payne]

So what you're saying is, it DID involve butt stuff

 

[Cthulhu]

@thread, Mog's story, worthy of an entry in the top 10 of biggest WTF stories ever to have graced TLS .

Was she hot, at least?

 

[Fangu]

Mog, I know a similar story...

A friend of mine was getting it on with a girl at a party once, and a few minutes into the act of luv she started asking him what he thought about her curtains. You know, are they ugly, out of season, should I change them. And he was like... do I go on or do I stop? (I think he did. I think at that time he was so dried up he'd do a giraffe. LOL)

Spoiler

I could mention a few strange things myself... but... I think I'm still too scarred to talk about them o_O Let's just say... some guys watch too much porn

 

[Drax]

 

[Alex]

fuck it

so i know this girl, right, and we've been friends for a while. so long story short, one day (yesterday) one thing led to another, and well...things happen, everyone's adults here and all that good stuff

so afterwards im just baskin in THE GLOW/FISTBUMPIN MYSELF and her phone rings. so she answers it and she goes into a really long conversation about stocks and business deals. keep in mind we are both still sans clothing??? this is a really long conversation by the way, she's pacing across the room and everything (no clothes)

so she hangs up and curiosity overtakes me, i mean we're not dating or anything (i am a bad person i know) so i ask "yeah who's that?"

she goes

"oh that's just my husband"

so now i'm an adulterer i guess????

Damn son, this shit happened to a brother on House just a few days ago.

 

[Super Mario]

Achievement unlocked: The Adulterer

 

[Madame Mayor]

I do not mean to be uncouth or be graphic about sex life stuff (not that I mind it in principle from others or in general. I want to be considerate to what others may not want to hear though). It is just so bizarre that I have to air it out somewhere, and honestly it's sort of cathartic to let out into the ether such a strange event.

That's what spoiler tags are for.

 

[Super Mario]

the fact they talked casually while engaging in activities is a feat in itself.

 

[Octo]

her phone rings. so she answers it and she goes into a really long conversation about stocks and business deals. keep in mind we are both still sans clothing??? this is a really long conversation by the way, she's pacing across the room and everything (no clothes)

so she hangs up and curiosity overtakes me, i mean we're not dating or anything (i am a bad person i know) so i ask "yeah who's that?"

she goes

"oh that's just my husband"

Wow, a lovely romantic conversation about stocks and shares....I'm assuming she didn't end the call with an 'I love you' or anything?

I asked her 'yeah so uh your husband uh...why aren't you banging him/but why are you talking about business deals?' she goes "Well he's a great business partner but he's also a psychopath so uh"

Yeah, because thats just what you need to hear that he's a psycho

Also stuff like interrupting herself during the act to talk about Herman Cain (yeah Herman Cain is a real hot topic midcoitus)

Wait...She didn't agree with Herman Cain did she? Because if she did and you managed to carry on then that does make you a bad person! Otherwise you're a fucking champ for being able to perform despite the mental image of Herman fucking Cain.

Anyway, its not your fault Mog, sounds like that marriage is little more than a business arrangement anyway. She could have at least mentioned it beforehand though.

Mog, I know a similar story...

A friend of mine was getting it on with a girl at a party once, and a few minutes into the act of luv she started asking him what he thought about her curtains. You know, are they ugly, out of season, should I change them. And he was like... do I go on or do I stop? (I think he did. I think at that time he was so dried up he'd do a giraffe. LOL)

Spoiler

I could mention a few strange things myself... but... I think I'm still too scarred to talk about them o_O Let's just say... some guys watch too much porn

Right who else thought 'beef curtains'? *raises hand* Anybody? No?

And I've never had the misfortune of someone lapsing into porn speak mid sex but if they did a swift elbow to the chops is in order. I mean, talking dirty is one thing, but quoting Jizz Sluts 9 verbatim is really just taking it too far.

the fact they talked casually while engaging in activities is a feat in itself.

It helps keep the 'wolf from the door'

OT: This story, and Licoriceallsorts has made my day.

 

[Joker]

Chairman Biscuit: unlocked

 

[Ryushikaze]

Also, thanking people's posts and my name showing up in purple.

Being mayor is fucking awesome!

Enjoy it, because that's about the only perk.
Now onto your crushing menial tasks...

Mog, I know a similar story...

A friend of mine was getting it on with a girl at a party once, and a few minutes into the act of luv she started asking him what he thought about her curtains. You know, are they ugly, out of season, should I change them. And he was like... do I go on or do I stop? (I think he did. I think at that time he was so dried up he'd do a giraffe. LOL)

Spoiler

I could mention a few strange things myself... but... I think I'm still too scarred to talk about them o_O Let's just say... some guys watch too much porn

Reminds me of the recap episode of Utena that turns out to be narrated by Utena while she's having sex.

Also, yes, Beef Curtains, Octo.

While definitely the most iconic, train suplexing is far from the end of the suplex shenanigans. Try it during the airship fight.

 

[Fangu]

And I've never had the misfortune of someone lapsing into porn speak mid sex but if they did a swift elbow to the chops is in order. I mean, talking dirty is one thing, but quoting Jizz Sluts 9 verbatim is really just taking it too far.

Oh it wasn't porn speak as much as a porn act...

Beef curtains...? *about to learn new word* *Google*
...ahaha the Urban Dictionary versions are hilarious

 

[Octo]

Oh it wasn't porn speak as much as a porn act...

Beef curtains...? *about to learn new word* *Google*
...ahaha the Urban Dictionary versions are hilarious

Yeah... I'm really sorry that you know about that now.

tch Porn act eh? Why can't people just discuss this stuff beforehand? If I wrapped a guys head in cling film and then peed on him he'd be like WTF?! and I'd say 'oh its totally ok, I saw it in porn once.... SEND IN THE DWARVES!'

 

[Shademp]

Also stuff like interrupting herself during the act to talk about Herman Cain (yeah Herman Cain is a real hot topic midcoitus)

oh my god I mean it was just

...Thank you. You have given me a new goal in life. Have sex with as many women as possible, just to note down the random things they yell and talk about during said act. Nvm the carnal pleasure, I want to see how far the women can take their lack-of-ability-to-concentrate-on-sex trait.

 

[Octo]

...Thank you. You have given me a new goal in life. Have sex with as many women as possible, just to note down the random things they yell and talk about during said act. Nvm the carnal pleasure, I want to see how far the women can take their lack-of-ability-to-concentrate-on-sex trait.

Its not so much a lack of ability to concentrate. Its just that we don't really have to concentrate if we don't want to/can't be bothered

 

[Fangu]

hile definitely the most iconic, train suplexing is far from the end of the suplex shenanigans. Try it during the airship fight.

Wait, there is an even more awesome duplex-scene than the train?!

Why can't people just discuss this stuff beforehand? If I wrapped a guys head in cling film and then peed on him he'd be like WTF?! and I'd say 'oh its totally ok, I saw it in porn once.... SEND IN THE DWARVES!'

...Thank you. You have given me a new goal in life. Have sex with as many women as possible, just to note down the random things they yell and talk about during said act. Nvm the carnal pleasure, I want to see how far the women can take their lack-of-ability-to-concentrate-on-sex trait.

If you get them piss drunk first I guess it's more likely to happen (the curtain girl was anyway).

Other than that, I guess be prepared to get a long list of affirmatives, gear change requests and references to religion

 

[Madame Mayor]

Enjoy it, because that's about the only perk.
Now onto your crushing menial tasks...

I want to make some sort of joke about the elected official actually having no power beyond that of a regular citizen and that the community is really run by another, higher up organization.

 

[Octo]

Brooke do you have a Mayor chain yet? And if not, why not dammit!

 

[AvecAloes]

Eeeehehehe!

 

[Joker]

I want to make some sort of joke about the elected official actually having no power beyond that of a regular citizen and that the community is really run by another, higher up organization.

LA-LI-LU-LE-LO