RIP Pilot, he seemed like a cool guy...
*cracks knuckles*
Hello spectators, my old friends. Now, I know what some of y’all might be thinking today.
Smfh, here comes Fancy with the photoshop...
Nah. I got something even better for you lovely folks.
I have
science.
Please take a look at my opposing champion here.
As his name suggests and as my opponent, Clement Rage, has pointed out… he’s a pilot. Now, what does the title ‘pilot’ entail? Sharp navigational skills, yes. Stress (doubly so under a man such as Cid Highwind), yes. What else? Long, long hours spent suspended in high altitude.
Do you know what happens to the human body as it ascends high into the air? Well, as air pressure decreases, the volume of gases increase. This means that whilst the pilot is in flight, the pockets of air in his ears, nose, stomach, and throat have expanded. Not only that, but he’s in a state of generalised hypoxia or a deprivation of adequate oxygen supply.
Now what happens when you take a human body that was suspended high in the air and suddenly land them on solid ground (in this case, the Old Man’s house in Kalm)?
I’ll give you a hint: something not very nice happens. That’s what.
When the Pilot suddenly finds himself in the middle of a stranger’s home, the last thing on his mind is gonna be,
‘Where the hell am I?’ or even,
‘Hey, that chick is kinda hot…’ It’ll be,
‘BY THE PLANET, I'M DYING’ because he’ll be suffering from explosive decompression. Contrary to what the term suggests, the Pilot would not explode on the spot, but he would be at high risk of lung trauma as the air around him has decompressed faster than the rate at which air can escape his compressed lungs. The pockets of air aforementioned would POP, leaving the Pilot disorientated, dizzy, and discomforted. The poor man would likely start gagging with the sudden desire to throw up the lunch he was refused by an extra surly Cid Highwind. There would be an explosive pain in his muscles and joints. He’d be jet-lagged to all hell. His nerves, already shot up by long hours under the disapproving gaze and mouth of Cid Highwind would snap after suffering this sudden and devastating trauma.
This is the opponent that BG is supposed to take on?
Assuming that she doesn’t knock him out completely cold after being startled by his sudden wheezing and woozy movements (
‘Is this druken creep coming onto me???’), she might instead have to watch on in horror as the man contorts with pain and a lightheadedness so overwhelming, he’s knocked himself out cold by the laws of nature.
SAD.
Guess that means BG is the winner.
Uh… yeah.. there she go again. MC Fan-C comin’ at ya
I recognise that this a sad state
I’m sure the Pilot’s great
But his ass is bound for bad fates
Strugglin’ to breathe air as he lands
Somewhere on foreign lands
As BG looks on tryin’ to understand
The man ain’t drunk, it’s decompression
Due to his quick recession
From flying the skies to feelin’ ground oppression
Shit, would you look at his expression?
As he’s faced with the end of his life knowing ‘No more Cid Highwind lessons’.
We know this battle is a quick one
I'll let the fates run
No need for violence, just decompression
BG looks to be so done.
Without lifting a finger, you know this girl's beautifully won.
I recognise that this a sad state
I’m sure the Pilot’s great
But his ass is bound for bad fates.
His final home is the ‘Kalm House’
Become food for the plant louse
As BG walks away from trouble that rouse-d
Word to ya family.
. 
