This both makes my day and pisses me off (so LOL get ready for it to be posted in both places):
So I get up, shower (mmmm hot water), get ready for work, etc., and walk out my front door, only to see the world covered in about a foot of snow. Including my car. I don't have an ice scraper (lol I live in Texas), so I proceed to use a bit of old mail (from my employer HA) that I have handy for such occasions to get the snow off the windshield and windows, and my car's warming up and all that.
I back up, and then turn around so I can leave the parking lot, when I notice I'm having more trouble getting out than I did yesterday and the day before, when all I had to contend with was a shit-ton of ice on the ground. I make it out of the parking lot (bottoming out as I did so ><), and manage to make it about ten feet up the hill that I live on the middle of...and then I slow down and come to a stop. With my foot still pressing down on the pedal.
I spend maybe thirty seconds with my foot alternating between gas and clutch, hoping that I can "rock" myself out of the tiny bump I'm in or whatever, to no avail. Reverse still works, however, so I manage to turn myself just enough to get into the parking lot of the physical therapy place across the street from me, at which point I gain total control of my vehicle again. Awesome.
So I turn around and try to make my way up the hill again. This time, it's an even bigger failure than before. I barely manage to make it back to the physio parking lot before trying again. This time I get a LITTLE further than the last time, but not as far as the very first time. It's like God's decided that I'm just not going to work today. Sooo I call in for the day and now I'm off. (YAAAAAAY!)
The problem is...now I can't get back into my parking lot. >____________<
I make it about halfway up the incline that leads into my parking lot (the one I bottomed out on earlier), before I lose traction and momentum and pathetically slide back down. >: I try heading back up the hill to get to the other entrance (IT'S ONLY ABOUT FIFTY FEET GUYS SO I CAN DO IT RITE), and fail just as pathetically the next three times I try as the first few. So now I'm wondering if I should just park in the physio parking lot, let them know, and walk across.
Then I get the brilliant idea to try and drive up the hill IN REVERSE, since that's the only gear that's giving me any purchase on the road.
What do you know? GREAT SUCCESS! As I'm driving up the hill backwards, this woman is watching me from her back porch, and I just sort of shrug and spread my hands in that "what can you do? >:" way, and she laughs and does the same thing. I have to inch my way up the incline into the main entrance, but I make it and make it back to my parking spot.
I then text my friend, who works for Discount Tire and told me that my tires aren't suited for Canada (aka weather like this), and I tell him to stop laughing at me. I then get out of the car and head in.
I throw my stuff down and get back into my pj's and settle on the couch (where I am now), and then I notice that I didn't actually close out of the text messager on my phone, and, in fact, started writing a new message (it's a smartphone, so touchscreen and blah blah). The new message says (I shit you not):
"derp"
While absolutely hilarious, it makes me wonder if God is laughing at me >: