New Novel, FINAL FANTASY VII Lateral Biography TURKS: The Kids Are Alright [SPOILER THREAD]

[Strangelove]

His fat arse saved his life

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

Thats extra-vinegary balls for you ......sorry.

I really cannot fathom that he's still alive. He's not mako enhanced, he hasn't had any kind of special survival training. He's just a fat priapic bastard who wears too much aftershave.

.....So does this mean that the Wutai Sidequest isn't canon then?

It has to be canon. If it's not canon, then neither is Reno's comment about sacrificing yourself for your job, and neither is "looking at you is makin' me sober". And that just wouldn't be right.

 

[Shademp]

I seem to recall one of the OTWTAS entries mentioning that Yuffie stole the party's Materia. In other words, the sidequest has to be canon.
Unless of course Nojima constructs a new continuity wherein she stole the Materia, but Don Corneo never get involved in the mess. Or that the Turks kept Corneo alive because they needed "information". Whatever, we'll just have to wait and see.

Btw some moderator should add " (Spoiler Thread) " to the thread title, since we stopped using spoiler tags.

 

[Octo]

I'm not entirely without hope though...

5. 'Elenas Frustration'......Sexual. Definitely sexual. Am I right ladies?


Although I'm kind of worried that Tseng doesn't get mentioned in any chapter title

Also, all The Who references are coming thick and fast now. I wonder if the plot will be about a guy accessing child pornography sites to research a book about his own abuse? This would be quite a departure for SE

 

[Strangelove]

Also, all The Who references are coming thick and fast now. I wonder if the plot will be about a guy accessing child pornography sites to research a book about his own abuse? This would be quite a departure for SE

is that why they brought back corneo?

 

[Max Payne]

This is turning out to be some more stupid.

 

[Octo]

is that why they brought back corneo?

Oh shiiiiiiiiit.

It's all falling into place now!

 

[Fangu]

5. 'Elenas Frustration'......Sexual. Definitely sexual. Am I right ladies?

Yes. Yes of course.

Ah, Elena. I'm so glad they're not forgetting about her. And a Turk story without Tseng? Really? That's not a Turk story.

 

[Octo]

I'm sure he'll be in it. I'm just reading too much into chapter titles

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

People, people, let's focus on what's important here. Forget Corneo, forget Tseng. What implications do we know about that this story has for the LTD?

But, yeah, seriously, Corneo alive? Why? That's just stupid. Hell, Palmer's been floating around out there in limbo ever since the Shin-Ra No. 26 launched. Why not follow up on that fat fuck instead if you needed to dig one out of storage, Nojima.

Anyway, I ordered my copy the day it was released and I've received notification that it's on its way to me. Hopefully it gets here soon, and hopefully I actually have time to look at it.

 

[Octo]

forget Tseng.

Forget Tseng?! No more than I would forget my own name!

But, yeah, seriously, Corneo alive? Why? That's just stupid. Hell, Palmer's been floating around out there in limbo ever since the Shin-Ra No. 26 launched. Why not follow up on that fat fuck instead if you needed to dig one out of storage, Nojima.

Plus, from Shademps research we know that Palmer is as big a sleazy letch as Corneo was

Overall I am feeling more optimistic about it from seeing the chapter titles, just got to hope that the content is up to scratch *crosses everything

 

[OWA-2]

Someone knows when in the timeline this story happens?

 

[ForceStealer]

Corneo...

Damn, Aeris. Who the hell did you piss off to be the only character to ACTUALLY die in FF7?

And before the snark, I know she's still had plenty of influence, but she's still not back, and she seems to be the only one.

 

[Dashell]

Damn, Aeris. Who the hell did you piss off to be the only character to ACTUALLY die in FF7?

Sephiroth?

 

[The Twilight Mexican]

Corneo...

Damn, Aeris. Who the hell did you piss off to be the only character to ACTUALLY die in FF7?

And before the snark, I know she's still had plenty of influence, but she's still not back, and she seems to be the only one.

Well, Myrna's still dead.

But, really, they need to stop this. I'm half expecting mako-enhanced Biggs, Jessie and Wedge to crawl out of the rubble of Sector 7 after all this.

Someone knows when in the timeline this story happens?

In his Active Projects thread, hito said:

The timing of the novel: The story is Evan's recollections of events, goes from Meteor to just before AC (

Spoiler

Kadaj appears in it as well

), while the epilogues are post-AC.

 

[Strangelove]

Someone knows when in the timeline this story happens?

It's apparently Evan recounting events that happen over a period spanning from Meteor to just before AC, although the epilogue is after AC.

edit; get out of my mind, Liquid Tres.

 

[minimosey]

...someone please say this Corneo thing is a huge joke. Where's this blog??

Also very belatedly but--

Not sure if these are the ones tres is talking about, but CC tends to contradict certain parts ofn the OG. Primarily the nibelheim incident, although there are other examples scattered here and there. For example, in the OG Cloud states he's never been to shinra hq before. But you come across him there at one point in CC.

The Nibelheim thing is an out-and-out retcon, but Cloud being at Shinra HQ isn't a contradiction on CC's part. Cloud also said not too long afterward that he'd never met Hojo. His memory's a mess.

 

[Ryushikaze]

People, people, let's focus on what's important here. Forget Corneo, forget Tseng. What implications do we know about that this story has for the LTD?

But, yeah, seriously, Corneo alive? Why? That's just stupid. Hell, Palmer's been floating around out there in limbo ever since the Shin-Ra No. 26 launched. Why not follow up on that fat fuck instead if you needed to dig one out of storage, Nojima.

The only reason Corneo lived is because he landed on Palmer.

Yes, Palmer bounced all the way from Rocket town to Wutai. Look at the fat bastard and tell me you think he wouldn't.

 

[e.suna]

I am also troubled because all Corneo does is kidnap girls and say things like "Wheee, saucy." Going through that a third time would just be getting damned monotonous.

So hopefully he will have some other purpose. And in the end someone can cut off his head to make sure he's really dead

 

[Octo]

. And in the end someone can cut off his head to make sure he's really dead

And burn his body, and encase the ashes in 10ft thick concrete, and then throw that into an oceanic trench. Yes.

 

[Strangelove]

and you think this will stop square how?

To make some wild guesses, I'm going to guess that Corneo's appearance might have something to do with this Fabio character, like a little side element to his story. I don't know why, Fabio just sounds like a don-like name

 

[Octo]

and you think this will stop square how?

To make some wild guesses, I'm going to guess that Corneo's appearance might have something to do with this Fabio character, like a little side element to his story. I don't know why, Fabio just sounds like a don-like name

Fabio sounds like the kind of name Corneo would give to one of his hundreds of illegitimate children.

 

[Strangelove]

then i hope the mother was pretty because the kid sure as hell ain't getting much from daddy in the looks department

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

I bet he's not alive in the post-Meteor world. I bet it's some kind of flashback.

 

[Fangu]

then i hope the mother was pretty because the kid sure as hell ain't getting much from daddy in the looks department

Slim chances considering Cloud and all