It turned out that Yuri – Yuffie’s friend – had become a victim of a disease that had recently become rampant in Midgar. This disease, whose most obvious symptom was a viscous black liquid that literally ran one out of every pore of the body, spread fear and terror, because it inevitably ended with death. In Midgar, it was an even bigger bigger problem than the difficult reconstruction. On his travels, Nanaki had heard rumors that the disease spreads by contact with infected, but Yuffie didn’t seem the least bit concerned. However, Nanaki was concerned and wondered whether he should tell her from the rumors. But when he heard Yuffie and Yuri speaking, he quickly realized that she was aware of the rumors about the risk of infection.

Maybe she should have thought about that. What’s with this carelessness? No wait, realized Nanaki. It’s not carelessness. It’s kindness. Yuffie…I don’t know how close they are, but— she couldn’t just give up on her friend.

His thoughts turned to suspicion toward Yuri.

How could he take advantage of her kindness like that. What if she gets infected?

Nanaki was really angry, but of course he had to accept the situation as it was, after all it was Yuffie friend, and her decision alone. When the conversation turned to Materia, which could surely cure the disease, he said – presumably to give vent to his annoyance – that such materia doesn’t exist. Yuffie reacted angrily, but Nanaki had counted on it. What he had not expected, however, was the sadness he saw in her eyes. Nanaki deeply regretted the contemptible words he had just said to her.

Finally they reached Wutai, and Nanaki spent a few days there. Yuffie took care of all of the patients that had now been placed under quarantine in isolation. Nanaki helped her with smaller tasks, if she explicitly asked him, otherwise he tried to keep his distance, and observed the disease. He was convinced that this was an event that he had to remember in order to preserve it for posterity. This was another facet of the great game of life.

“… um hey, is it true… you can speak?” asked one of the patients.

“Yes”

“…this is unfathomable. Why would a being like you be created? Your soul must have been mistakenly put in the wrong body. You must always wish to be human, right?”

“Hmmm—” Those words confounded Nanaki, but a realization came to him. Having the same thoughts and emotions as humans allowed him to observe and understand them. And it was his duty to pass on this knowledge of the evolution of the human race to future human generations. Nanaki was glad that he now understood his duty a little better.

Now I’ve learnt another thing, thought Nanaki.

* * *

Nanaki would have had no objection to staying in Wutai for a while, to observe the patient, and to spend time with Yuffie, but she ordered him to collect more information about the disease, and so he left. He was about to enter the lowlands, and turned back one last time to look at Wutai in the distance, before it disappeared from his sight. He was sure that from here he would still be able to see Yuffie at the work in the makeshift hospital, but the whole place was suddenly no longer visible. Apparently he had already entered the lowlands without noticing, and because of the land sink, Wutai had now disappeared from view.

Oh well. I’ll just have to come again sometime,

Nanaki was about to continue on his journey, when suddenly he was gripped with fear. It was Gilligan. It had resurfaced. Nanaki focused his whole consciousness on Gilligan, trying to find out once and for all what it had to do with him. The black lump trembled and suddenly something came to the surface. They were the faces of the people at Cosmo Canyon. Their friendly faces appeared, only to be immediately swallowed up by the darkness.

Those faces just now – who…?

When he realised he couldn’t remember their names, his whole body began to tremble. The shaking was so intense that he was unable to stand, and had to sit down on his hind legs.

Come on, remember their names, Nanaki encouraged himself.

Another face appeared from the darkness. It was Gilligan. It had a peaceful expression, one that Nanakí had never seen before. Then it started to sink back into the black sea. Suddenly, thoughts of death shot through Nanaki’s mind.

Are the people of the valley going to die? Yuffie too?

Once again, Nanaki felt the crippling fear.

“Help me!”

He cowered on the ground, his whole body trembled as he called out for the Planet’s protection. Inspired by misplaced hope that it could hear him, he wanted to shout out again, but Gilligan suddenly disappeared once again. Nanaki slowly stood up and looked round. He ran up the Valley and saw Wutai on the horizon. He saw Yuffie hard at work.

Some day Yuffie, too, would grow old and die. And most of the people of the Valley were already quite old. They would all die even sooner. Just the thought of it made Nanaki sad.

Certainly, he would cry with grief, and would be depressed for a long time. But why had Gilligan caused him to panic at the thought of the deaths of people he knew?

Is that Gilligan’s true form? The fear I feel when the time came when my friends die?

Nanaki shook the head to rid himself of these detrimental thoughts.

One day the time will surely come, but now is not the time to think about my friends’ deaths, he thought.

Nanaki changed his plans and decided to investigate the “Midgar disease” as Yuffie and the people of Wutai called it. And where else could he learn more about this disease than in Midgar itself? On one hand, the more information there was, the more contradictory things would probably get. On the other hand, the pensive Cloud and the clever Tifa were in Midgar. Nanaki was therefore quite sure that he would gain valuable insights if he stayed there for a while.

* * *

Nanaki went south around Mount Nibel to continue on his journey east, but got lost in a forest he had never been in before. At first he relied completely on his animal instincts for orientation, but soon, it turned out that the forest was much deeper than he had initially assumed, and looked for a way out.

Even so, he continued to look for a way out, thinking it was nothing to be worried about. Even though the forest was deep, he could still tell which direction he was going in from the position of the sun in the sky. So, he continued his march onward, using the knowledge he had gained from humans. Eventually he reached the eastern end of the forest.

Suddenly, Nanaki heard a shot. It echoed through the thicket of the forrest, so it was difficult to tell which direction it came from, but Nanaki instinctively chose a direction and started running. Soon he found a ten year old boy being attacked by a monster. The monster looked like a bear with a long tail. No, perhaps it was a bear. Its whole body was covered with rusty coloured fur, and blood was dripping from one of his front legs. The boy had to have him shot. The wounded animal circled the frightened boy, who had fallen to the ground. The creature seemed to be trying to figure out what the boy would do next. But then, the eyes of the monster facing down on the boy started glowed red, and it began to stride up to the boy. Nanaki, who had stayed hidden in the shadows, leaped out from the undergrowth, biting firmly on his clothes and pulled him out of the way. After he had pulled him to safety behind some bushes, he turned to the bear. It seemed unimpressed with the appearance of this new enemy, and turned on Nanaki, almost as if it had been expecting interference. The claws on its two paws could be seen under its fur.

As if the bear didn’t care about who his new enemy was, it naturally ran towards Nanaki. The dangerous claws on its two front paws, which could be seen under its fur, had a gaping wound in them.

“I’m going to be in trouble if I get slashed by those”, thought Nanaki.

“The weak spot of Nibel bears is their neck! Go, Red!” The boy suddenly said.

Nanaki was initially a bit perplexed, but it was true that the weak spot of many beasts were their throats, so he focused his attacks on the Nibel bear’s throat. He gave a typical animalistic roar to intimidate his opponent. It had the desired effect. The Nibel bear froze in its tracks. It examined this new opponents to assess his strength, and the two glared at one another for a while.

“What are you waiting for!? Go Red!”

You speak too easily. What could a human know of a battle between beasts who used nothing but their bodies as weapons. The forest is a wild beast’s territory.

That moment, another shot rang out, and blood spurted from the neck of the bear. It’s huge body crashed to the ground. That moment, a man emerged from the thicket, dressed unambiguously like a hunter, and fired a finishing shot at the bear. It stopped breathing. Then, the Hunter turned his gun on Nanaki. His posture revealed tension at first glance, he didn’t intend to shoot yet.

“Dad, don’t shoot! He saved me! It’s fate! Heaven sent him to me! I want to take Red home with me!”

The young boy moved between the Hunter and Nanaki.

“‘Red?” the hunter asked back.

“Yeah. He’s red, so he’s ‘Red’.”

What a disgraceful name, thought Nanaki.

That name seemed like insults to Nanaki. It reminded him of the mad man who once gave him the same name. Nanaki growled quietly to express his disgust. The hunter and his son seemed alarmed, and took a few steps back.

“You can talk, right?”

The hunter still had his gun aimed at Nanaki.

“It’s been a while, but the Shinra Company used to have a premium on your whole clan. Huge wolf-like animals with red fur and a flaming tail. Damn it! If I had caught you just a year ago, I would be a made man now!”

“Red can talk?”

Yes, it’s true that I can talk. And I am most likely wiser than the two of you. But I have no desire to talk to the likes of you. As if I could be friends with someone who points a gun at me and says whatever pops into their head.

Nanaki quickly turned, leaped into the thicket and disappeared into the dense forest.

“Damn it!”

A shot was fired. The bullet whizzed past Nanaki’s head.

See, I knew you would shoot at me. You’re the kind of person who would put me in chains and lock me in a cage. Then treat me like some sort of a pet, hoping that I would like you.

After putting some distance between him and the hunter and his son, Nanaki stopped and listened whether they were following him. This didn’t seem to be the case, so he snuck back to where the father and son had been. As expected, they had already started to dissect the Nibel bear’s corpse.

“Dad, I want Red.”

“Yeah, he would probably bring in alot of money. Even with the Shinra Company gone, we could still make an attraction out of him if we take him to the Gold Saucer!”

“But…No! I want to be his friend!”

“Don’t be silly,” the hunter said as he used his knife to cut off the Nibel bear’s tail.
“It’s not a dog or a cat. You can’t tame it.”

…Definitely not, thought Nanaki.

“Right, let’s go get some helpers.”

“What for?”

“So far we’ve only been able to use the Nibel bear’s tails. The Shinra Company has always paid well for them, because they could use them to produce a stimulant for their elite soldiers. But now it’s the meat that’s most valuable to us. It doesn’t taste of much, but with the right preparation you can make something tasty out of it!”

“Oh, so we eat it, then?”

“Yeah. There’s gonna be global food shortages. Nobody knows how long it’ll last, but it is certain that food of any kind can now earn good money! ‘

The father and son left the dead Nibel Bears and went on their way. It was clear to Nanaki that this hunter was not a thoroughly bad person. In fact, he was only doing his best to survive in these hard times. If from now on Nibel Bears could be part of the foodchain, then they should hunt them. Every living thing has to eat, or it will die.

Bugenhagen had once told Nanaki that one can distinguish animals from monsters by how they treat a killed opponent. An animal kills to eat, but a monster kills for no reason, then searches for it’s next prey. According to this classification, humans have more in common than with monsters than with animals. If the hunter only wanted the tail of the Nibel Bear, then he truely was a monster. But it was a different story if he depended on the meat from the Nibel bear for food. Though you couldn’t exactly call it a fair fight, since the bear had no gun, after all, but that’s just how the food chain works. Even though Nanaki didn’t particularly agree with the hunter and his son, he didn’t feel that he should interfere.

Because Nanaki had spent most of his time with humans since he was very young, he hardly ever had any need to hunt. There were times when he pondered the origins of his species, and had gone hunting to see how it felt. But because he had hunted his prey without any intention of eating it, he had thought of himself as a monster. So he had no right to judge this hunter and his son. Most humans take the lives of other living things to eat, and so to survive, without even thinking about it. Even if they were conscious about it, they would avoid thinking too deeply about it. It was only those who came in direct contact with these animals who were in touch with the reality of it, while the majority of the population who ate meat were blind to it.

Yes, thought Nanaki. I’m not one to judge them. Many humans are unconsciously taking the lives of other animals and eating them to live. Even if they were conscious about it, they would avoid thinking too deeply about it, besides the ones who made a living hunting for food.

Nanaki was no different. What use was there in overthinking it? Even if there were a higher truth and absolutely correct behavior, one way or another, his hands were tied.

On the carcass of the Nibel bear, all kinds of small creatures had already appeared. Nanaki lay down and observed their activity. This was also a part of the eternal cycle of life of the planet. He had to focus to objectively store these memories away, free of any emotion.

“Geeeeee!” Suddenly he heard a high-pitched roar and two small Nibel bears came running toward the corpse. All of the small creatures quickly scurried away. The two cubs approached the carcass of the larger bear – most likely their mother – and nudged her with their paws and noses. They seemed to be trying to wake her up.

They seem to be trying to wake her up.

Nanaki couldn’t do much more than just watch them, fascinated. But then he remembered that the Hunter said he was going to bring people back here. That meant danger for the cubs.

That hunter said he was going to bring people back here. Those cubs are in danger.

Suddenly, Nanaki’s desire to simply observe the course of things disappeared. Nanaki came out of the bushes and made himself known to the bear’s cubs.

“I understand how you feel, but it is not safe for you here. Come with me.”

Nanaki urged the bears to follow him into the undergrowth. But of course, they couldn’t understand what he was saying to them, and just stared at him with an expression that he couldn’t understand.

“This isn’t good. The humans will be here soon.”

Nanaki thought for a moment, then leapt towards one of the cubs and gently lifted it by the scruff of it’s neck with his teeth.

“Geeeeee!” A little startled, the bear cub reacted to Nanaki’s assault with a high-pitched roar, while his brother started to growl loudly.“Geeeeee!”

Nanaki was satisfied by their reaction, and disappeared into the undergrowth with the cub in his mouth, while the other, of coarse, took up pursuit.

“There you go, that’s it.”

Nanaki continued deep into the forest. He paused from time to time, so the other little cub didn’t get left behind. And as soon as he caught up, Nanaki would start running again. This went on for a while, until they finally reached a clearing deep in the forest. The ground was covered with a weathered stone paving which was a sign that people must have once been here. As Nanaki looked around a little, he noticed a messy pile of building blocks. Obviously someone had once planned to build something here.

Was someone trying to build something here?

However, that was the only sign that humans had ever been here. Everything suggested that this place had been abandoned long ago.

Nanaki set down the bear cub. At first he was alarmed because it wasn’t moving, but when he listened closely he realized that it was sound asleep, snoring softly.

Such a carefree little creature.

As the second cub finally arrived in the clearing, it let out a single roar out of panic, before it ran to his brother and sniffed. Nanaki’s scent on his brother bothered him for a while, but he buried his tiny nose in his fur. Eventually, the little bear was satisfied or just exhausted, either way, he yawned, cuddled up to his brother and promptly fell asleep.

How cute, thought Nanaki. But something troubled him.

What should I do now? Am I responsible for these cubs now?

He lay down on the ground and gazed at the tiny things.

Could they survive without their mother? What do Nibel bears even eat?

At a glance they could be mistaken for ferocious carnivores, however, creatures like these were often omnivores, just like Nanaki himself. In that case, the forest offered a variety of food – and Nanaki had his answer. He wanted to gather a little food for them in a pile and then finally leave this forest. Of course, he was concerned about the cubs, but he couldn’t play their surrogate mother, and certainly not indefinitely. It was probably better for both sides to part ways, before they got too accustomed to one another. But for now, Nanaki also wanted to sleep. He yawned quietly and then closed his eyes.

A while had passed before Nanaki opened his eyes again. The two bears were nowhere to be seen.

Oh you have already flown the coop? Oh well… farewell, grow big and strong… huh?

Just then, he felt something warm at his side. Unbelievably, he found the two little cubs had snuggled up to him, and were sleeping soundly.

This isn’t good—Not good at all.

However, Nanaki noticed a feeling in his chest, which he had never felt before. A feeling that was stronger than all reason in his mind. And so he decided to take care of the two cubs until they could survive on their own.

The two bear cubs, whom he had given the names “Bazu” and “Rin”, had now bonded with Nanaki and he taught them how to hunt. Nanaki himself wasn’t necessarily an expert in the field, but in the end, the practice itself could even be of benefit to himself someday. He had no qualms about taking the lives of other living beings. This was a fair fight for the survival. Sometimes they would encounter other Nibel bears. Every time, Nanaki would try to make it clear that he was not hostile, but the bears simply ignored him. It was moments like those, which he somewhat regretted getting involved with the cubs. Or was it just a sign that they had accepted him as an inhabitant of the forest? All sorts of thoughts went through his mind. Every day there was something new to discover, and new worries, but all in all the days were generally peaceful. Sometimes he wondered if he really had time for this life. Then he would always tell himself that this was all part of his great task, but realistically he had to admit that he had now taken a liking to this lifestyle, and it would probably be very difficult for him to give up when the time came.

Before long, Nanaki would see humans coming into the forest to hunt almost every day. It appeared that Nibel bear hunting was becoming regular. They had accepted the bear’s meat into their diet. He knew he would have to teach Bazu and Rin, not only how to hunt, but also how to identify humans and stay away from them.

Nanaki didn’t know quite how much time he had spent in the forest now.

Keeping track of time is a characteristic of humans, thought Nanaki.

Although he was able to live as both a human as well as as a beast, but these were clearly the days of the beast. He thought of the promise he had made to Yuffie, but that disease was the concern of humans now, and had nothing to do with the world of beasts.

At first he felt bad for thinking that way, but now he could see things from a different perspective.
them as separate from one another. If one day he would return to the world of humans, he wanted to tell them about his time in the forest as a beast. And that he felt in his heart, how important his feelings as an animal were to him.

Gilligan appeared several times in Nanaki’s consciousness. To the familiar faces, soon joined Bazu and Rin’s. As with everyone else, they appeared in the deep darkness, only to sink back again soon after. The disappearance of two bear cubs in the darkness caused Nanaki to tremble with fear again. However, his fear would be vanquished as soon as he felt them snuggling up to him. Nanaki now knew. Gilligans true form was his fear of loss. It was the fear of losing loved ones that made Nanaki tremble. Once Nanaki had realized that, he no longer had to fear Gilligan. One thing became clear to him:

Nothing can ever be achieved through fear of loss.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6